A/N: Sorry for the long delay. Too many other writing assignments. There are only two chapters and an epilogue left, so I hope to be finished in a few weeks. The next chapter is almost done.

A/N: Thanks to everyone for the reviews. I use them when I can.

A/N: Standard disclaimer: Stargate: Atlantis is the intellectual property of others. This amateur work is not intended as infringing.

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Taking it slowly: Sateda and Real World

Hey Dad –

Thanks for the note. Sorry to be awhile getting back to you.

Things around here are fine. I'm back on duty.

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard leaned back in his chair, contemplating what he could tell his father. Things had settled back into the regular routine of missions. They didn't find any ZPMs, and allies were still rare, but things moved along.

The shoulder twinges a little, but no problem.

Writing had never been his strong suit. He managed his reports, but there was no extra language in any of them.

Everyone says to tell you hello. Teyla hopes you are still practicing your stick fighting. I had to explain that it wasn't an option in most American gyms.

Thanks for keeping tabs on the SGC project. I figured they wouldn't tell me anything so I never asked. And I'm ok about them tracing the adoption. Good luck. If they find someone else, maybe they won't need me as much.

John leaned back again. This was like pulling teeth. Maybe it wasn't so bad not having anyone to miss back home. As soon as that thought came up, he squelched it, reminding himself how glad he was to be on speaking terms with his father.

Well, I have to get to a briefing, and I wanted this on the next upload. More later,

John

Richmond, VA

Colonel Edward Sheppard (retired) filed the email in a folder labeled "John" and leaned back to consider how to respond. He wasn't sure John wanted to hear everything Landry had told him in their last communication.

"Edward, Hank Landry

"Well, this is a surprise, Hank. How goes it?"

"Pretty well."

"Uh huh. I take it this isn't a social call?"

"Well, I just thought I'd keep you up to date on things."

"Thanks, I appreciate that, and so will John."

"I figured you'd be keeping up with him more. Anyway, I wanted to tell you our first attempts at tracing the adoption didn't turn up anything. The hospital you mentioned has merged about three times since then, and the records are incomplete. That was about the time they were moving to computers, and some things fell through the cracks. We're continuing, though, and I'll let you know."

"OK, thanks Hank. Um, is everyone still expecting?"

"Yes, everyone is still on track and moving out of morning sickness, finally."

You don't mind that I keep John informed, do you?"

"No, that's ok. We would have kept him apprised, but he didn't ask. Things going well?"

"I was enjoying my retirement before I went to Atlantis. Now things are pretty boring. Any chance of a repeat visit?"

"Not right now, but I'll keep it in mind. I'll check in later."

"OK, Hank, later."

Now, how much of that could he put in an email?

SGC – Cheyenne Mountain

General Hank Landry was wrapping up his day. All but one team was on Earth, and the last team was checking out a planet not yet touched by the Ori. He looked up at a quiet knock.

"Can I come in?" Dr. Lamb looked hesitant.

Landry indicated the chair in front of his desk, and his daughter approached the desk and sat down.

"What can I do for you?"

"You wanted occasional updates on the pregnancies, and I thought I'd catch up."

"OK, is everything alright?"

"Yes, I've run ultrasounds on everyone and the fetuses are in the second trimester. The two in vitros are multiple births, one twins, and one triplets, so we don't need to worry about selective reduction." She paused and looked at the floor.

"Is something wrong?"

"Do you remember the private research project I told you about?"

Landry drew his brows together and leaned forward, his hands clasped on the desk. "I thought that wasn't going to work."

"Well, I slipped a few in with one of the in vitro fertilizations. There is a chance it took."

Landry leaned back, shaken. "When will you know?"

"I plan to perform an amniocentesis to be sure. For now, we'll just watch and be sure everyone is ok."

Landry relaxed a bit. "Do you plan on telling them?"

"Not unless it's necessary."

"Good. Let's keep it that way."

Lamb stood to take her leave. "At this point, you're the only one who knows."

Landry nodded. "I plan to keep things between us until necessary. Thanks for the update."

Lamb nodded as she left.

Atlantis

It was a few days later, after a briefing, that Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard had his first challenge on his relationship with Elizabeth Weir. The Daedalus was docked, and Caldwell had caught up on the gossip. As John exited the briefing, the older Colonel approached him.

"Colonel, could I have a moment?" As John stopped and looked to listen, Caldwell continued, "In private?"

"Yes sir, Colonel. My office?"

When the older colonel nodded, John led the way to his office, stopping to let the senior officer enter first. Things had been somewhat easier between the two men since the group debriefing, but Sheppard could sense Caldwell was in "regulation" mode.

As the door closed behind them, Caldwell turned to face the younger man. Neither moved to the desk or chairs, choosing to stand. Caldwell crossed his arms, looking stern

"Colonel, I have been receiving some interesting reports concerning you and Dr. Weir. Do I need to remind you of the policies on fraternization with contractors and civilians?"

Sheppard stood up a little straighter but not quite to attention. He had known this was coming, and he tried to calm himself to not push the older man's buttons. "No sir, I am aware of the new policies."

Caldwell started at that comment, his arms relaxing somewhat. "What new policies?"

"The latest revisions specific to Atlantis, Colonel. They were received while you were on route back from the wraith battle."

"Why was I not told there were new policies?"

"I'm not sure, sir, unless they were meant for Atlantis alone. I see no reason for you not to see them. Should I upload a copy for you."

"Yes. But back to my concerns. Are you saying your recent behavior is in keeping with these policies?"

"Yes sir."

"Explain."

John gave a small sigh. He hated talking about such matters. "Dr. Weir and I, uh,. . ." There was a long pause.

"Let me help you Colonel. You appear to have developed an unprofessional relationship."

John nodded. "We're being cautious, making sure that it does not affect good order or the chain of command."

"Is that what the new policy says?"

"Yes sir."

Caldwell was silent for a few moments. "Very well, Colonel, I'll read these policies and consider what I've heard and observed in that context."

Caldwell turned and left, quickly, leaving Sheppard to wonder what his response to the policies would be. He also wondered at who had turned them in, but squelched that thought. He needed to get ready for his next mission.

Four days later, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard stood on one of Atlantis' many balconies, reviewing that mission as he contemplated the sea. This particular balcony recently had been claimed by him and Elizabeth. They had been using several balconies for their conversations, but they seemed to return to this one more often than the others. It was on the edge of the populated parts of the city, and they could have some illusion of privacy. Tonight, as he watched the gentle swells of the ocean, images of Ronon in a cage, and later at the mercy of a wraith, filled his mind.

Having to leave a teammate behind was agony for Sheppard. And knowing Ronon would be returned to the wraith was even harder to bear. But they had come up with a way to get him back, and the Satedan was now in the infirmary, under the watchful eyes of Beckett and Teyla, so Sheppard had been able to get away to consider what had happened.

That was how Elizabeth found him.

"A penny for your thoughts," she said, coming up behind him and slipping her arms around his waist.

John turned in her arms and put his arms around her without saying anything. She let the silence lengthen, knowing he would talk when he was ready.

"I'm not sure they're worth that much."

At first Elizabeth didn't remember her comment, then she gave him a squeeze and said, "Let me be the judge of that." She looked up at him, seeing the worry in his face. "Is Ronon all right?"

"Oh, yeah, sure. Beckett has him in the infirmary overnight so the wound where he removed the tracking device can heal. Teyla is with him now." He was stroking her back, somewhat absently, and Elizabeth knew there was something else going on.

"So everything worked out fine? The hive wasn't able to follow you back?"

"No, but you know that from the briefing." He looked down, then, noticing the concern in her eyes. Sighing, he turned them so he could once again look at the sea. "Don't look so worried. It's nothing."

"Then tell me."

"It's just, …, well, Teyla was surprised we went after Ronon."

"She was? Why would she be surprised?"

"She said she has felt like an outsider many times, so she was amazed that we would go after someone who wasn't from Earth."

Elizabeth pulled back to look at his face, seeing how seriously he was taking this. "Do you think this is more of the distrust Bates had?"

He nodded. "Yeah, and I thought we had left that behind in the first year."

They were both silent, now, considering the ramifications of this.

"But there was something else."

Elizabeth leaned her head against his chest. "What?"

"Remember how I said I wasn't too good at some kinds of talks?"

Elizabeth smiled. "Yes, and I have found that getting you to talk about some things is like pulling teeth." She could feel his snort in response.

"Well, Teyla got it right. She said I lack social skills."

"What!? She said that?" Elizabeth bit her lip to keep from laughing.

"Well, to be fair, I had sort of left her an opening. I was looking for a word, and that's what she provided."

"I always knew she was perceptive."

"Hey, now, none of that." He moved his head until he could kiss her forehead.

"So exactly how did this comment come up?"

"Well, like I said, she was surprised we were going after Ronon, . . ."

"Yes, . . ."

"And, uh, well, I said that I, uh, considered her, and you, and Ronon, Carson, and Rodney as my family. That I would do just about anything for any of you."

"And I have always considered you and your team as my family here. I don't know why, but I seem closer to your team than to anyone else."

John sighed. "I needed to be sure you knew that. I would give my life for any of you."

"I've always known that, John. I've always hoped you would never have to, but I've always known."

As he held Elizabeth, considering the place she now held in his life, he thought back to the conversation he had with Colonel Caldwell.

"Someone outed us to Caldwell. Has he said anything to you?"

Elizabeth stiffened. "No. I assume he did to you?"

"Yeah, he invoked the policies, but he hadn't seen the new ones."

Elizabeth considered this, then asked, "When, exactly was this conversation?"

John looked at her serious expression. "Just before the last mission. Why? Has he done something?"

She considered this. "No, it's just that he has seemed thoughtful recently. I've caught him watching me. I guess he's trying to see if this relationship is affecting my work."

He pulled her close again. "Well, we know it won't, so don't worry about it."

He looked down at Elizabeth's curls, pressing his lips to her hair. He knew that though she was part of the family he had described for Teyla, she was more to him. And he knew he would give up his life for her in a heartbeat.

As darkness fell and the stars came out, they continued to listen to the waves and take strength from each other, little realizing that the test of his promise would come up just two weeks later.

Pacing in the isolation ward, John fumed at fate. He had intervened with Beckett's treatment and touched Elizabeth, using his presence to encourage her to fight the nanites that were attacking her brain. Beckett, furious, had pulled him away from her and handed him over to a technician who had relieved him of his uniform and provided scrubs until they could be sure he wasn't infected. He didn't really care. He just wanted to know about Elizabeth.

And no one told him. He waited an hour; then two. At four hours he knew exactly how many paces it took to cover the isolation room, how many ceiling tiles there were, and how many holes in those ceiling tiles. After six hours of pacing, worrying, fuming, and railing against fate he tried banging on the door and yelling. No one came by. He couldn't get out since it was an isolation room with the requisite locks. Finally, he lay down on the bed, trying not to imagine the worst: that Elizabeth had finally succumbed and there was nothing they could do. Of course, as soon as he tried to avoid thinking of her death, thoughts of it filled his mind. She had been so still on the hospital bed it was easy for him to imagine it as the stillness of death.

He jumped up from the bed and began pacing again, fighting the stinging in his eyes. He'd give anything for someone to come by, even Cavanaugh. Now he knew he was desperate.

As he reached that point in his private monologue, he heard someone at the door and jerked around.

"We're ready to scan you now," said a fully suited technician, not aware of anything being wrong.

"How is Eliz- Dr. Weir?" Sheppard had to resist the urge to grab the man by the front of his suit and shake him.

"Sorry, sir, I just came on duty. She's not in the infirmary." The man turned to lead John to the scanner.

They had reached the scanner and the medical technician gestured for John to lie down. The Colonel again had to resist the urge to hit something in his frustration. Seeing Rodney walk by, he called out.

"Hey, McKay, where's Elizabeth?"

The scientist came over, not looking up from his laptop. "Oh, Elizabeth? I'm not sure."

Colonel Sheppard's brows lowered at the scientist's nonchalance. Putting on his best death glare, he grabbed McKay's arm and said "Rod-ney."

"Ok, ok, look, she's fine. Gee, can't even take a little joke."

"It's not funny McKay. We almost lost her."

"Yeah, well, she was released about six hours ago to return to her quarters."

"Six hours!?!?"

"Well, uh, Beckett forgot you were back here, and the technician went on a break, and, well, we're just now getting around to things. I've got to go add this data to the previous information on the nanites. Later, Colonel."

Lying down, he stared at the ceiling as Beckett moved into his field of vision.

"Ah, there ya are Colonel. Now let's see if yer little stunt is going to make us go through all this again."

John stared at the Scotsman, letting all his anger show. Beckett had the grace to look down.

"I realize we should ha' come for ye earlier, Colonel."

"You could have told me Elizabeth was alright."

"What?" Beckett looked genuinely surprised. "No one told you

"No." John was horrified to feel the stinging in his eyes again, and he looked away.

Beckett reached out and put a hand on John's arm. "I'm truly sorry, lad, I know that must have been trying for you." He gave his arm a squeeze and moved back to the controls. "But one scan and we can probably release you. So, hold still, Colonel."

Sheppard held still as the machine did its work and was glad they found no nanites. He was tired of isolation already.

"Fine, Colonel. I'm releasing you to full duty. You can leave when you want. By the way, I've told Elizabeth to take tomorrow off. I'm not sure of any lingering effects, and she's to call me if she has any."

"Any chance I can get a day off? After all, I had six hours of stress."

Carson smiled at the blatant fabrication. "Aye, lad, and let me know how she's doing."

"Thanks, Carson," said John, already halfway to the door. Figuring his uniform had been destroyed, he headed off to his quarters for a new one.

Clean and dressed, John waited for Elizabeth on their balcony. He had seen her, finally, oddly quiet and contemplating her father's watch. He knew she would seek him out when she was ready, so he just waited. The doors opened as the sun hit the horizon.

"Hey," she said, softly.

He turned and looked at her, focusing on her eyes. They were still a bit haunted, and even as he watched, they began darting around in heightened vigilance.

"Hey yourself," he responded just as softly. "How are you feeling?" He wanted to pull her into his arms, but he decided to see what she wanted.

She stepped up to the railing and leaned against it, her arms straight as if bracing for something.

"Unsettled. I still wonder what is real." She looked at the ocean, avoiding his eyes. "Thank you for saving me."

John looked at the ocean as well, moving to stand beside her, easing over to where their shoulders were just touching, giving her space but connection. "All I did was remind you that you could save yourself. You did all the work."

She turned to him, then, and forced him to look at her. "Yes, but you risked your life by touching me. You could have been infected with nanites yourself."

"Elizabeth, I told you recently that I'll do almost anything for my family. That includes you."

"So our relationship affects your actions," she said with a sad smile, turning back toward the ocean.

John reached over and turned her face to him again. "No, remember what I said. I'd do the same for Teyla, Rodney, Ronon, and Carson. You are all my family." He put an arm around her, pulling her to his side. "Besides, that's my job on Atlantis: the military is here to protect the civilians. I'm dispensable."

Elizabeth pulled back at that, grabbing a fist full of his t-shirt. "Not to me you aren't."

John began stroking her back in comfort. "I know, but regardless, that is my role in Atlantis. You, as the leader, are more important than I."

Elizabeth turned her face into his shoulder. This, then, was an example of the situation the fraternization policies were created to prevent. "So, you can give your life for me, but I can't give my life for you?"

John was quietly serious in response. "Look at our roles, Elizabeth. If there were nothing between us, you would not be asking these questions."

She sighed, knowing she was going to have to come to terms with his analysis. "I'll have to get back to you on that." She turned to face the ocean again, snuggling up to his side, her arm around his waist. "You know, I'm still not looking forward to sleeping any time soon. I don't want to wake up there."

John gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Well, what about a movie marathon. That way you can stay up as long as you want."

"But I still have work. . . "

"No, Beckett gave both of us the day off, so you can sleep in."

She looked up at him. "Well, OK, but not Gaslight."

"What's Gaslight?"

Elizabeth gave a shiver. "A man tries to convince his wife she's going crazy."

"Hmmm," said John. "I guess The Matrix is out for similar reasons?"

Elizabeth shook again, even harder. "Oh, no, I don't think I could take it. Just something light."

John thought a minute then looked over at her. "OK, I think I can come up with a program. Why don't you meet me for dinner in an hour then we'll hit the movies."

Elizabeth looked up at him and gave a small smile. "That sounds good." She turned to go, but John's hand on her arm stopped her.

"You'll be fine, Elizabeth."

She nodded and left. John soon followed to check out the video collection.

At dinner, several people came by to check on Elizabeth. Beckett joined them at their table, keeping an eye on what she was eating but not saying anything. As they got up to take their trash to the receptacles, Carson held John back.

"Colonel, I'm not sure I like the brittleness of her smile. Don't forget to call me if there is a problem."

John looked down at the medic and gave a half smile. "Don't worry, Carson. We're going to watch some movies, and I'll keep an eye on her."

"She'll need some sleep pretty soon."

"Yeah, I know that, but she's afraid to sleep, hence the movies." He winked at Carson and moved to follow Elizabeth.

Beckett was a little confused by the Colonel's comment, so he made his way to the television room about 30 minutes later. As he approached, he heard Elizabeth's open laughter. He peeked in just in time to hear the following dialogue:

Doctor: "We need to get these people to a hospital."

Pilot: "What is it?"

Doctor: "It's a big building with lots of small rooms, but that's not important right now."

Once again Elizabeth's laughter broke forth, and Beckett looked over at the couch to see her within the circle of John's arm with a large smile on her face. John looked up as the doctor came in.

"Hey Carson, come on in. We're watching Airplane. I can't believe Elizabeth hasn't seen it."

Carson, seeing the ease between the two, decided he didn't need to be a third wheel. "Thanks, Colonel, but I need to check on a patient before I turn in. Goodnight you two."

"Goodnight, Carson," said Elizabeth, her smile much more relaxed than it had been earlier. Over her head, John nodded and winked.

Carson left knowing he would take care of her.

Later, after Airplane, they watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail, reciting the dialogue together, followed by Blazing Saddles, and The Bird Cage. Elizabeth finally nodded off as Robin Williams began redecorating the apartment in preparation for his conservative guests.

John muted the movie and watched her sleep. He didn't want to wake her, knowing that if he did, she would become afraid to go to sleep again. So he just pulled her a little closer and found a more comfortable position, pulling an afghan crocheted by someone's mother over her. By the time the DVD returned to the menu, he was sound asleep, and the few who peeked into the TV room left the leaders to their much-deserved rest.

TBC

A/N: Comments welcome, appreciated, and applied where appropriate.