A/N: Great reviews! Thanks!

A/N: Usual disclaimer. Not mine, no infringement intended

A/N: This chapter is an accident. I had to split a chapter. So there are still 2 chappies and an epilogue to go.

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Taking it slowly: Adult Planning

Hey Dad,

Hope things are still going well. We've had the usual interesting time here. Had a brief scare with Elizabeth, but she's doing ok now. I'll tell you more when I next see you.

Rodney hasn't blown anything up recently. Did I tell you about him getting shot in the butt with an arrow? As you can imagine, he was not a happy camper. I was able to razz him about it for weeks.

Ronon and Teyla are good, and I've managed to stay out of the infirmary for six weeks now. I'm going for a record.

Thanks for the DVDs and CDs. I became pretty popular for awhile as the only person with new stuff. Rodney and I are still playing the game. We're in about four levels and I'm ahead right now. We're thinking of having a tournament. He's good at networking these games together.

Ronon has started asking me about hollow point bullets. Did you tell him about those? We don't have any here, and I'm not sure I can requisition them.

Well, more later.

John

Elizabeth Weir jerked up in her bed, gasping for air. She quickly looked around. "Check for colors!" Gradually she was reassured to see the colors of her bedroom, the stained glass of Atlantis. Kate had suggested that method to ground her. The asylum had been white, so colors assured her she was awake.

"It's just a dream. You're safe," she told herself as she tried to calm her rapid pulse. She had beaten her alarm by 45 minutes, so there was no sense in trying to go back to sleep.

After a shower, she picked up some coffee in the mess hall and headed to her office. Her day was full but should be quiet. John's team was off-world, and she had her last checkups with Beckett and Kate.

"So how are you feeling, Elizabeth?"

She was sitting in Kate's office, looking out over the ocean. Since her experience with the nanites, she had gone back to meeting with Kate regularly, and the sessions were helping, some.

"Pretty well. The nightmares aren't quite as frequent, and I'm not as reluctant to sleep as I was."

Kate chuckled. "Evidently your movie marathons with the Colonel are becoming somewhat infamous."

Elizabeth smiled in response. "Yes, the latest one was all of the Pink Panther movies. I made it through the Pink Panther Returns before nodding off."

"Well, whatever works," said Kate. "I think you'll continue to have nightmares occasionally, but they will become less frequent. Keep writing in your journal. That will help you deal with the issues."

Elizabeth nodded, getting up. "Are we done? I'm due for a last checkup with Carson."

"Sure," said Kate, standing up to walk her to the door of her office. "Just don't hesitate to call me if you need anything."

Elizabeth smiled as she left. Kate had become more of a friend than a counselor, and she would not consider a visit with her a chore anymore.

As she made her way to the infirmary she was thinking about John. He was never far from her thoughts, but she had been puzzling over some things lately. The main one? They had been together for a couple of months, had become very passionate, but John still pulled back if things got too, well, intense.

Elizabeth was frankly confused by this. Yes, he wanted to take things slowly, but she thought that was mostly so the expedition could get used to the idea of them together. As far as she could tell, people had accepted them. Even Caldwell, after his one challenge, had backed off after reading the policies, and no more was said before he left on the Daedalus. So what was the matter?

She reached the infirmary to find Carson Beckett in his office. There were no patients, thankfully, so he was able to get some work done on his research.

"Ah, Elizabeth, ready for a last checkup?"

"Yes, Carson, I'm more than anxious to put this episode behind me."

He led her over to the scanner and helped her in.

"What does Kate say?" he said as he adjusted the controls on the ancient equivalent of an MRI.

Elizabeth sighed. "The nightmares should become less frequent, but I'll still have them for awhile." There was a gentle hum as the machine began to create an image of her body.

"I was afraid that would be the case. You let me know if you need anything to help you sleep."

"Yes, Carson."

He looked over at her as he shut the machine down. "I mean it, Elizabeth. You, of all of us, need to stay alert, and adequate sleep goes a long way to helping with that." He reached down to help her up.

"OK, Carson, I know." She adjusted her uniform as he moved away to examine the readout.

"Well, everything looks alright here: no nanites." He looked back to her. "And that's your last checkup. I don't want to see you for quite awhile."

Elizabeth was looking at the floor. "Carson, I wanted to ask you a question."

"Of course, lass," said Beckett, hooking one leg on a stool.

Elizabeth looked around then started playing with the zipper on her jacket. "Uh, does that scanner check for everything?"

"Well, it checks for what we ask it to check for, mostly tissue or bone damage. Why?"

Elizabeth took a deep breath. She would not stutter over this. "Well, I realized I haven't had a pap smear or a mammogram in over two years." She raised an eyebrow at him, though her cheeks were a faint pink. "They usually suggest annual checkups."

Beckett nodded in understanding. "Well, the scanner would pick up cancer of the breast, cervix, or ovaries, but it won't check for infections of any kind. Are you having trouble?" Beckett's eyebrows drew together as he began to wonder why Elizabeth was asking.

"No, no trouble. I just wanted to get a checkup if I should."

"Well, I could do one now if you like."

Elizabeth started. She hadn't expected to do one today. On the other hand, just get it over with? She squared her shoulders. "Fine."

Beckett led her to a private room and gave her a gown. Yuck. As she changed, she was wondering what possessed her to volunteer for this today.

Beckett came back when she was ready, and took samples for testing. As Elizabeth stared at the ceiling, she wished they could find the ancient equivalent of a medical tricorder: less discomfort.

Elizabeth sat up as he was labeling the various specimens. "Carson, do you usually test for STDs?"

Beckett froze then looked over at Elizabeth. In a very serious tone, he said, "Elizabeth, is there something you need to tell me?"

Elizabeth went scarlet and looked down, her hair partially covering her face. Of course he would jump to a conclusion. "No, nothing specific." She looked up, then, more in control. "I just wanted to be sure I was virus free, and I don't think I've ever been tested."

Beckett looked at her carefully. "Alright, Elizabeth, it's just a few more tests on the same samples. I'll let you know in a day or so." He finished labeling the specimens and stood up.

"Otherwise, everything looks OK. I'll just leave you to get dressed." He left her in privacy.

Elizabeth dressed quickly and stopped by Beckett's office, debating with herself over a last issue. Finally deciding to get the information, she gave a light tap on the door. "Just one more question, Carson."

Beckett looked up, indicating a chair. "What is it, luv?"

Elizabeth picked up a paperweight on his desk and examined it carefully. "I was thinking of changing my method of birth control. Do I have the same range of options here?"

Beckett kept the surprise off of his face and leaned back in his chair. "You're on the pill now, right?"

"Yes, the low hormone dosage."

Beckett nodded. "Well, there are other pill options, . . ."

"Actually, I was wondering about a diaphragm," she said softly. She was still looking at the paperweight in her lap, so she missed Beckett's eyebrows meeting his hairline.

"Well, we can take some measurements and see if I have one in stock. Our supply is rather limited. If necessary, we can order one to be delivered on the Daedalus. The Daedalus is due back in a few weeks, then a six week turnaround, so you need to stay on the pill until then."

Elizabeth looked up and nodded, putting the paperweight back on the desk. "."

"That's fine."

"I'll have to take some measurements, lass, before they arrive."

"OK, Carson, but I need to get back. Can we do it in a week or so?

"Sure, that would be fine. Just let me know."

Elizabeth stood up, waving to Beckett as she left. Carson's eyes followed her speculatively, then he turned back to his desk and continued to make notes on her chart, wondering what that was about.

Elizabeth Weir, meanwhile, made her way to her office. She was missing John, and he was not due back for two more days. She was always nervous when he was off world and looked for any reason to justify thinking about him.

She nodded to the crew in the control room then moved to her office. Opening up her laptop, she had a sudden desire to read John's file again. She hadn't read it for over a year, and though she had it almost memorized, she wanted to see something that talked about him.

She called up the file and began to read it. Hmm. Born January 5, 1967. That would make him 2 years older than she. Father military, colonel during the Cold War. Marital status divorced. Religious choice…. Wait a minute. Divorced? He'd never mentioned that. During their discussion of his "love 'em and leave 'em" reputation, he'd never mentioned an ex-wife. She determined to have a discussion on this topic when he got home. She settled down to re-read the entire file to be sure she had not skimmed over any other important facts.

Dr. Beckett, confused by Dr. Weir's requests, had his answer two days later. Sheppard's team had just returned, amazingly in one piece. Lt. Colonel Sheppard was the last to report to the infirmary for his checkup since he stopped to give Elizabeth a heads up on the possibility of a new trading partner. He sauntered in just as Rodney was leaving.

"Hop up on the bed, Colonel, and we'll get you taken care of," said Carson, motioning a nurse over with the blood drawing equipment.

"Great. The quicker the better," responded John, watching as Carson took his blood pressure while the nurse took his temperature.

The check didn't take long, and the nurse took the blood vials away as Dr. Beckett finished up.

"OK, Colonel, that should do it." John was now the last patient in the infirmary, and Carson was looking forward to another quiet afternoon of research.

"Uh, Carson, could I ask a question?"

The doctor stopped and looked at his most frequent patient, nodding for him to continue. If this man wanted to ask a question about health issues, he should pay attention.

"Um, Carson, when you do our checks, do you check everything?"

"Well, obviously not everything. I don't scan you routinely, as you know. Is there some problem I should know about, Colonel?"

"No, no specific problem." He licked his lips and looked down. "I was just wondering, uh, when was the last time you checked me for, uh, STDs."

Boing! The other shoe dropped. Beckett quickly looked down at the Colonel's chart so he could hide a large grin.

"Well, Colonel, we don't routinely check for them, but I can use some of the blood you just gave to do those tests. From your chart, it looks like you were last checked a year ago and nothing was found then. Are you experiencing any symptoms?"

"No, nothing like that. So a year ago, huh? OK, I should be good, then, but could you go ahead and run them again, including HIV? I'm used to the military checking regularly, and I like to know."

"Fine, Colonel. I'll let you know the results. Was that everything?"

John hopped down from the bed. "Yeah, I'm good. Think I'll go get cleaned up before the briefing." He waved jauntily at Carson on his way out of the medical area.

Carson managed to hold it together until he got into his office, then he exploded in laughter. As he settled down, he realized he shouldn't be laughing at their taking responsibility for each other's health. "Aye, I just hope they take care of each other," he thought as he put John's chart to be filed and headed to the lab with the additional test instructions.

Colonel Sheppard caught a quick shower and managed to beat his team to Elizabeth's office for the debriefing. As they all settled in, she started the meeting.

"Teyla, Colonel Sheppard thinks that these people will make good trading partners. Do you agree?"

The Athosian nodded. "Yes, Dr. Weir, I think they are trustworthy and have need of the medicines we use for trade."

"Not to mention they have excellent meat and fruits that aren't citrus," contributed Rodney, still focusing on his laptop.

Weir looked at Ronon. The man had been on the run so long that he had a good sense of people and tended to be more conservative than his teammates.

"I agree. The Oratians seem to want to trade. I would wait on complete trust."

Elizabeth nodded, glancing at John.

"OK, I'll agree we should be cautious for awhile, especially given our experiences here. I think, however, you can send Lorne with an initial offering of medicines and see what we get in return."

"That sounds good. His team is up in three days?"

John nodded. "Yes, and that should give stores time to check what we need and what we can spare."

"Anything else we should know about these people or the planet?"

There was a moment of silence, then John cleared his throat. "Um, they appear to like the color purple."

Weir raised an eyebrow, and Teyla began to explain.

"We noticed that all of them were wearing purple clothing, and their homes had furnishings of the same color. When we commented on it, they said it was the only dye they had. I was thinking we might want to send along some of my people's cloth and dyes and see if there is any interest in trading for those."

"Excellent idea. You'll get in touch with Halling?"

"Yes, and with your permission, I would like to accompany Major Lorne on the return trip."

Elizabeth glanced over at John who nodded. "We'll have some down time so Ronon can finish training this group of recruits before the next one gets here."

"Good, then we have a plan. Thank you all." She stood up, then, as did the others at the table. John held back as they moved toward the door.

"Dinner at seven?" he said with a smile.

Elizabeth nodded, smiling in return. "That should be fine."

He nodded and left, leaving her to return to her office and complete her paperwork.

She was almost done when he arrived to get her, and they made it to the commissary by 7:20. The rest of the team, and Beckett, were already there, deep in discussion. John and Elizabeth sat down in time to hear Beckett trying to explain cricket to Ronon and Teyla.

John and Elizabeth were still laughing as they put away their trays and made their way to their balcony. He let her precede him out the door, letting her see the surprise.

"John, you found a bench! But where did the cushions come from?"

"I had Dad include some in the last care package." He reached behind one side of the bench and pulled up a shoebox. "I also saved the last of the chocolate chip cookies to share." He sat on the bench and gestured for her to join him, putting his arm around her as she leaned her head on his shoulder. They had timed it right: the sun was just setting. He passed her the box, and she took a cookie before he placed it beside him within reach. They munched in silence, and he felt he had never known such peace.

"You didn't tell me you had been married."

John stiffened.

Elizabeth straightened up to see his eyes, realizing she had hit another land mine. Then again, she knew it would be.

"When you were explaining your 'love 'em and leave 'em' history, you neglected to mention that one of the ones you left was a wife." She smiled to take some of the sting from her words, but she could tell she had hurt him.

John straightened up as well, moving the box of cookies back to the floor, and standing up to lean on the rail. "She left me," he murmured.

Elizabeth rose gracefully and approached him at the railing, again giving him space. "Can you tell me about it?" she replied, just as softly.

John was silent for awhile. She could see emotions chase each other across his face. The most common was sadness, followed by disgust. Finally, when she was ready to give up and let him off the hook, he spoke.

"It was while I was in college. I had gone home during the break between summer training and classes. It was the first time I'd been home since graduation, and my dad and I were barely speaking, so staying in the house was pretty much out." He leaned on the railing, staring at the sea right below the balcony, but Elizabeth could tell he was seeing something else. "I started hanging out at some of the places I'd hung out as a senior, and I reconnected with an old girlfriend. She had just been dumped, so I got her on the rebound. I guess we comforted each other for those three weeks."

He paused. His head dropped to his chest and he closed his eyes. "She wrote me in October. She was pregnant. She was on the pill, so we didn't worry about things. Her family doctor, not knowing, prescribed Tetracycline for some infection she had. The pill doesn't work with those antibiotics, so she got pregnant. I married her at Thanksgiving."

Elizabeth was frozen in place. John with a child? Having to get married? Knowing how seriously he took his responsibilities, she knew this must be painful. She stayed quiet, though, letting him continue at his own pace.

He took a deep breath and looked away from her. "I moved her to be with me, we had the nursery prepared and names, did birth classes, the whole thing . . ." He cleared his throat. "There was something wrong with the umbilical cord and he didn't make it." A much longer pause, and John pinched his eyes. "Anyway, you get the picture. When she got out of the hospital, she went home to be with her mother while I finished up my degree. I had three weeks before I shipped out to my first assignment, and I visited them. She was so depressed about the baby. Her mother was kind, saying it was normal to feel that way and that she was seeing a therapist. The last time I saw her was at the airport when I left." He paused again, sighing. "She wrote asking for a divorce three months later. She had found someone, and wanted to be free to marry him. I also had to sign these papers for an annulment since she was Catholic and wanted to marry in the church."

Ah, that explained why abortion wasn't an option. She wanted to ask him more, but she didn't want to rub salt in the wounds she had obviously reopened.

"I'm sorry, John. I shouldn't have asked."

He straightened up, shaking his shoulders as if finishing a run. "No, I needed to tell you. That incident is something that shaped me, so you have a right to know." He turned to her, extending his hand. She took it and moved to his side once again.

"By the way, my father doesn't know about my marriage."

"Why?"

"Well, we weren't speaking, and I couldn't stand the thought of disappointing him even more."

Elizabeth wrapped her arm around his waist, giving him a comforting squeeze.

John rested his cheek on her hair. "So, what brought that up?"

"I was missing you and reread your file. I had never noticed that box before."

"OK." He had calmed, and if his eyelashes appeared damp, so what. "Anything else in there you want to ask about?" He looked at her with the ghost of his usual grin.

"As a matter of fact, have you ever told Rodney your IQ?"

"No! And you won't either!" he replied, smiling but with a serious look in his eye.

She grinned at him, and they returned to the bench to finish the cookies and the sunset.

TBC

A/N: Reviews appreciated, used where possible...