DAY FOUR
He took the Lazarus eye in his hand and observed how it twinkled
in the pale evening light. It's amazing how small, light things
can become such heavy burdens. Kakashi remembered the look on the
old man's face when he handed him this precious gem wrapped thrice in
cheesecloth. "We've been waiting for your arrival." he had
said to him when he opened the door and immediately led him in. Two
of his followers, and are actually the only followers left alive,
were hiding inside the worn out chapel with the minister. They barely
ate, Kakashi could see bony fingers and cheekbones that seem to
protrude from their faces. Even the minister had such dry, scaly skin
and dry, unkept hair. It was frightening for untrained eyes, but for
Kakashi, it deserved respect.
"I'm sorry I made you
wait."
"We really have nothing to give to you.."
the minister said sadly. "As you can probably notice, we have
nothing much to eat."
"I understand. And I didn't come
here to eat."
The minister turned his back on him and was
fumbling over the table for something. "We have prayed all these
years for you. Now, take this. And promise me you'll take very good
care of it. No one must have it. It is a gift from the gods."
"I
will make sure of that."
The bone-thin minister grabbed him
by the wrist, unbelievably grasping with such force despite the
weakness of his features. "Promise me." he said,
challenging Kakashi with a gaze.
"I promise."
"My
task is done."
Kakashi stared into the ceiling of his room
and tried to shake the memory off his head. Midnight had passed about
several hours ago and still, sleep wouldn't come. In desperation,
he even tried to remember what he and this beautiful woman beside him
had shared last night, but the more depressing picture kept squeezing
itself. He knew, upon turning his back on the three monks that he had
spoken to yesterday, that the conversation they had shared would be
last. In order to protect the Lazarus eye, to effectively hide its
location, no one else must know where it is.. and having three more
people -- or even two more people -- would complicate matters.
Kakashi knew, upon turning his back, that nothing but death awaits
those three monks.. either they kill themselves, or somebody else
will.
The warm body beside him moved. He quickly hid the gem
beneath his clothes and wrapped his arms around her. Kaiko was sound
asleep, murmuring inaudible words which eventually drowned in her
steady breathing. Maybe things really are happening so fast -- too
fast -- between them. And maybe he's not really sure why and how, but
whenever he looked at her he was damn certain of only one thing: he
will take care of her. Even if she tells him not to.. even if she
stops him from doing so. There is a grave need for people to take
good care of what's theirs, not because they should, not because they
must, but because they want to.
Memorizing the innocent look on
her pretty face, Kakashi's mind had finally decided to rest...
Sunrise. Kaiko have given up any attempts of sleeping, the swift
activity in her head prevented her from getting more rest. Last
night, when she was certain Kakashi had fallen into deep sleep, she
quietly uncovered the gem from underneath their pile of clothes and
became certain. Kakashi, of all people, is keeping the Lazarus eye.
She was tempted to take it and run, but decided against it for lack
of courage. After the evening they've shared, Kaiko wasn't sure she's
ready to part with him just yet. Tsk. Treacherous heart. If
she had not fallen for ol' sleepy-eye over here, things would've been
a lot easier. But then again, life for her was never easy... And she
knew she had to steal it, and they must part ways. It will happen,
soon... but not now. Not yet.
She sat up and watched him. Kakashi,
she realized, has this scar over his other eye which to her seemed
like a backstitch of thick, black yarn over an immaculate white
cloth. She absently traced a finger over the scar, and was surprised
to see him open his eyes beneath her light touch.
"Good
morning." she began.
"Good morning." he said,
holding her hand in his. "Did you sleep well?"
She
nodded. It was a lie, ofcourse. She had been awake almost the entire
night because of that wretched Lazarus eye.
"Are you
hungry?"
She shook her head.
"Good. Because I still
don't want to leave this room."
"Me neither." she
said, a hint of sadness in her voice.
"And I don't want to go
to work." he said. "And I don't want to get dressed. And I
don't want to talk to anybody else. I just want to stay here and be
here and do anything we want. Can I do that?"
"No, I'm
afraid."
He shifted his gaze from her face to the ceiling. "I
have to go back to my life, right."
She exhaled. The topic is
like a heavy stone burying itself in her heart, and she wanted to put
an end to it. There is plenty of time to meditate and decide between
mourning and being realistic after stealing the eye.
"Have
you ever wished for a different life... you know, something that's
very different from the one you lead?"
She nodded, and
brushed imaginary wisps of hair off his forehead after pulling her
hand away from his grasp.
"I've seen too much, and I'd be
lying if I tell you that it doesn't really get to me. We're lucky to
be here in Konoha, you know, but I've always wished for something
else.. someone I can go home to, you know..."
"What are
you... trying to say?' she asked, her mouth parted in shock.
"No.
I'm not talking about marriage, Kaiko." he sat up. "It's
too early for that, I know. It's just that, its nice to have you here
after my mission. I was.. like.. relieved to see you in my room. And
actually, I was looking forward to seeing you again. And you know,
that felt good. Looking forward to something that will always be
there."
Something that will always be there.. It
sounded so good. Kaiko wished with all her heart it were true.
"Why
are you telling me this?" she started avoiding his gaze.
"I
was thinking maybe you could stay here. With me. I won't restrict you
from doing anything, you'll be free to do everything you wish. I just
want you here.. so that I can always come back home to you."
Tears
are welling up in her eyes, but she acted as if they were inexistent.
"Are you sure?"
He nodded. "Damn sure."
She
looked away. Crying. "Don't you think this is too fast. We're
too fast. Everything is so frighteningly quick."
"It
frightens me too, but I've thought about it, Kaiko. I've given it
much thought while I was away." his eyes drifted into space,
like a psychic having visions, "I was practically running my way
back here..like some insane little kid.."
Silence. "Kaiko,"
"You've made up your mind?" she finally said, cutting him
short.
He nodded.
Kaiko pressed her eyes shut. This isn't
happening. He did not just ask her to stay. She is not
crying.
Kakashi watched her, thousand questions flowing in his
mind. It was his first time to say something like that, and judging
by the looks of it, she did not like his well-prepared speech. "I..
um.. you could use sometime to think it over.. if... you want to.."
his words trailed off.
"It's not that I don't want that..."
she suddenly said, but it was meant to be a thought. She wasn't
supposed to say it but it slipped from her tongue, like a strong urge
one was not able to control. Realizing her carelessness, she bit her
lower lip and hoped he was dumb enough to let it slip. But no, they
wouldn't call him Genius Kakashi for nothing. "Go on..."
She
exhaled. "Well, what you said was really nice... it was really
nice of you." she looked into his eyes and smiled.
"But..?"
She
simply shook her head. No buts. That doesn't clarify anything at all.
He tried to look for answers in her eyes, but found tears instead.
With an exhale, he grabbed his clothes and headed toward the other
end of the room to dress-up. The Lazarus eye, Kaiko noted, was left
on the floor next to her puddle of clothing. She was tempted to take
it, but thought better of it and remained on the mattress. She could
easily hide it under her pile of garments, hope that Kakashi would
not notice, and then flee the very minute he turns his back.. but she
couldn't. Not now. Not after what had happened between them last
night.
"Umm..."
He turned around, fully clothed.
"Hmm...?"
"I-- uh, last night..."
He walked
toward her and sat on the floor, meeting her steady gaze. "Are
you worried about that?"
She looked down to her hands which
are neatly settled across her lap. "Well, I really don't know
what.. or how.. to think about... of... last night."
"I
really want you to stay."
"Really?"
"I'm so
desperate, you know," It seemed as if putting his thoughts into
words was the hardest mission Hatake Kakashi had ever faced. "I
want you to stay."
There it is again. The uncomfortable
twisting at the pit of her stomach. She wanted to throw up, but that
would be an absurd thing to do... throwing up in front of the genius
Kakashi of Konoha.
"Are you scared?"
She looked into
his eyes. "No. I'm... It's just..."
"What is
it?"
How long does it take to use up this man's patience?
Kaiko exhaled. Part of her longed for Kakashi to give up, assume that
she's not really interested in him, call it a day and go back to his
usual secret affairs... but another part also wanted to tell him
everything: the eye, the bandits, the accident. And after begging for
his forgiveness, she would ask for his help, and confess her love,
and tell him that she wanted to stay here.. with him.. like this..
forever. Should I tell him... should I tell him..? She looked
at him, looked into his eyes. Worried eyes. Loving eyes. If she
decides to steal the eye and leave, these eyes would no longer look
at her in such manner. These eyes would stare at her with hate, with
coldness, with disdain...
Tears began to fall. It was as if this
situation wills her to split into two, and she couldn't take it
anymore...
Kakashi took her in his arms. "It's okay if you're
not ready.." he began stroking her hair. "it's okay.. don't
cry anymore."
I want to stay here too..
She cried
harder.. "I want to stay here, too."
The sun was intent on toasting her already drying locks, and Rin
was about to hide indoors when she noticed someone from afar. Someone
very familiar.
"Hey, Kakashi.."
He slowly turned his
head toward her direction. "Rin."
She smiled, and
dropped her glance toward another familiar memory. "Obito.."
she murmured beneath her breath as she found herself looking onto the
monument with names of martyrs and heroes who had given their lives
for this village. "Its seems like decades since the three of us
got reunited like this.."
Kakashi nodded. "I know."
"You
visit here often?"
He looked at the stone memorial and was
reminded of a dear friend. "Only when I have the chance."
Rin
nodded in understanding. Time is always a luxury for people like
them.
A period of silence passed as past comrades looked upon the
tombstone on which another comrade's name was engraved. Uchiha Obito.
Years have passed since the incident that marked their fateful
separation. Rin knew how much Obito had changed their lives,
especially Kakashi's.
"I miss him." she whispered.
"Me
too..."
Another period of silence, until Kakashi finally
exhaled. "Rin, do you have a minute..."
She was hearly
surprised by his sudden mention of her name. "A what?"
"I
think I need to ask you something..."
She shrugged, although
was quite unsure she had any answer to give. "Sure. Go on."
"I
was really hoping I could ask Obito the same question, but he's never
been around in the past years and..."
"Kakashi, you're
stalling."
"You're right." He lifted his right hand
and scratched the back of his head.
"And your question
is...?"
"I.. um, I'm sort of seeing someone.." he
began, and after seeing the startled look on Rin's face, decided to
rephrase his words. "No, not really seeing someone.. we're
kind'a just... well.. going out... but not exactly going
out.."
"You're with someone."
Kakashi nodded.
"Yes."
Rin enjoyed this, finally playing the upper hand
against the famed copy ninja. "And you're obviously not sure
about the status of your, relationship, quote-unquote."
He
nodded.
"So maybe you're dilemma has something to do about
clarifying the entire relationship thing."
He shook his head.
"Not really. I know for sure that she's not really sure about
us."
"Sure that she's not sure..?" As always, Rin
wasn't so certain she was able to follow his line of thinking. She's
never really used to an honest Kakashi. Back then, he used to keep
things to himself most of the time. "I don't think I
follow..."
He started to crouch, and then finally cossed his
legs and sat on the grass. "I'm so sorry Rin, I guess I just
don't understand everything..."
Rin took the empty space
beside him and sat down, cross-legged. "You know, I'm also
thinking about dating someone.. so I guess I can relate to what
you're trying to say."
"You are?" his eyes narrowed
in suspicion. "Do I know him?"
She shrugged and giggled.
It felt like they were young trainees once again. "Maybe. Even
if you do, there's no chance in me telling you."
"Well,
how does it feel?"
Rin stopped to think about his weird
question. "How does it feel... hmm..." She looked up,
squinted in the blinding sunlight and came with an answer. "There's
a fleeting feeling, enlightening but hard to comprehend.. yep."
she nodded, as if something she had said pleased her. "That's
how if felt." After pausing to contemplate the accuracy of
description, Rin lifted her gaze to Kakashi, who was frowning and in
deep thought.
"That didn't help you much, huh?"
He
shrugged. "Nope, I think."
She exhaled. "This is
tougher than I thought. Hmm... well, maybe it would be best if you
just leave your thoughts exactly the way they are."
"Meaning...?"
"If
you're puzzled, then leave it as it is.."
"What are you
saying..."
"Don't think!" she gave a friendly pat
on his left shoulder. "You always try to assess things, Kakashi.
You want a logical explanation for everything. I guess it's about
time you realize that some things in life can never be logical."
He
shook his head. "Are you telling me to stop using my head."
She
nodded. "Yeah. I guess that's what you should do."
"Why?"
"Love
is never logical. It just... sort of... happens. Spontaneously. Once
you start taking it logically, I swear, you'll go crazy."
He
paused to let her words sink in. "Spontaneous, you
say.."
"Mmm-hmm." She glanced at him and beamed,
like a proud big sister. "I never thought I'd see the day of
Copy Ninja Kakashi's defeat."
He frowned at Rin's remark.
"Defeat?"
"Yeah. You're lost, my dear friend.. this
is the first time I've seen you admit your lack of knowledge."
"Oh
well..." he began scratching the back of his head. "There's
always room for firsts."
The sun was up but the air remained cool and stale, taking him
back to a time when he descended a crystal cave once in his
distinguished career of thievery. That first robbery and his current
state possessed one similarity, they both ignited a flame of
excitement in his heart.
"Any news?" the leader of their
group said, watching him walk toward the well with cold eyes. He
first took a drink, then used the rest of the water in the bucket to
wash his hands and feet.
"You were right. It was the Copy
Ninja who was sent to retrieve the eye."
Chief nodded. "They
didn't underestimate us." He seemed quite pleased with what his
henchman had told him. "Good. That's good."
"But
don't you think it will give us a hard time..."
"What
about the girl?" he began, wasting no attention to his cowardly
question.
"She proved to be a very good distraction..."
"But
sir, it is the fourth day and it doesn't seem like she intends to
return."
The head of the secluded thieves stared into empty
space, drifting his thoughts back to a time ten or maybe about twenty
years ago. The same cool air. The familiar spitting of fire. A
humpbacked gypsy hunched over a handful of sand and pebbles, and a
wide-eyed innocent five-year old attentively watching the spectacle
with fascination. Find the eye that never weeps, the hag had
told the attentive little girl, and you will find your place.
"I
suggest we move in and take them by surprise, sir," the henchman
suddenly said, breaking his serious reflection of the past, "before
the Lazarus eye changes hands."
He regarded his subordinate
with eyes that narrowed into slits, as if to say: "no more
objections from you, my cowardly apprentice". This man before
him, whom he personally assigned to watch over Kaiko and the precious
eye, had remarkable skills as far as spying is concerned. However, he
had a problem with keeping his mouth shut in certain situations. He
complains too much, explains too much.
"We will move out when
the time is right... but I can only count five days." he turned
his back on the opinionated subordinate and proceeded indoors,
leaving the spy who, in turn, recognized the gesture as an unspoken
order to return to his post.
Kaiko, after Kakashi had left for another day of work, reminisced
about the swift changing of events the day before, lingering mostly
on the feel of his lips everytime they kissed. "I want to stay
here, too." she murmured under her breath, suddenly realizing
the weight of that statement. Konoha is the home she had pictured in
her dreams. And he, he will definitely turn this place into a more
comfortable home. A more secure home. He will definitely make her
life better, beyond that of what she had once dreamed about.
After
the past few days of wondering, Kaiko had finally made up her mind.
She will not steal the Lazarus eye. She will not return to the
bandits (even if it meant hiding from them forever). She will stay
here and make sure Hatake Kakashi had a home to go back to.
