A/N: Once again thanks to my wonderful beta LorelaiAkaCoffeeAddict! And thanks to all of you who read and reviewed the last chapter! With Christmas coming up, I decided to go into that direction, with Emily's Christmas party first. Let me know if you liked it!
Chapter 7 Emily's Christmas party
"Hey, Luke? Do you want to go shopping this afternoon?"
"Do we have too?"
"Well, you know my mother's Christmas party is on Friday, and we still need new clothes."
"Can't I just wear my suit?"
"Yes you can, but you need a new shirt and a new tie."
"I have to wear a tie?" He sighed annoyed, knowing there was no way he could get out of it.
"Sorry babe. And Lucan has no fancy clothes and I'm in desperate need for a new dress."
"Can't you just go with Rory or with Sookie, and bring me something? That will be much more fun for you."
"Come on Luke. I want to go with you. It's been forever since we went shopping together." She pouted, knowing that would help her.
"You said Lucan needs some new clothes?" As if it was okay if it was for his son.
"Yes he does." She smiled, knowing that she won.
An hour later they were at the mall. Lucan was asleep in his stroller and Lorelai was pushing, Luke walking next to her with a hand on her lower back. Everybody around them could see that they were a happy family.
"Where do you want to go first?" Luke asked.
"We could go in here." They were standing at the entrance of a store with men's wear.
"Sure. Let's get this over with."
They walked in and Lorelai started looking for shirts, and Luke just followed her, knowing that she would decide what he's going to wear anyway. There was absolutely no reason for him to be there, when it came to picking out clothes, but he loved spending the afternoon with her and their son, no matter what they were doing. That's why he didn't fight harder to get out of it.
"How about this one?" She lifted up a red one.
"Do you like it?"
"Not what I asked. But yes I do."
"Then that one it is."
"Don't you want to look around a little more? In case you see something better?"
"Whatever you want is fine, really."
"Then I have to find a dress first, and we can get you a shirt that matches, so that they can see we belong together."
"They already know that. We've been married for almost a year now. We have a son. People know we are together."
"But still, it's nice if the colors of our clothes match."
"Then we do that."
After being in five stores Lorelai still hadn't found something she liked for herself. She looked at Luke, knowing he hated shopping, especially at malls, but she loved that he wanted to spend time with her, even if it was doing something he hated. "Let's check this store. I bought a very nice dress here last year."
"Sure, let's go in."
Lorelai looked through the racks, not really impressed, until she saw a beautiful long red dress. "I want to try that one." She looked at the sizes and took the one she needed and led Luke towards the changing rooms.
He sat down on one of the stools, pulling the stroller next to him, and he waited patiently for her to change into the dress. When she came out 5 minutes later his mouth almost dropped open. "Wow."
She smiled. "You like it?"
"Love it. You should definitely get it."
"Glad we agree." She looked at herself in the mirror and turned around to look how it fell around her curves. It fit perfect and she was impressed. "Let me change back in my regular clothes. We'll go back to the first store to buy you the dark red shirt since it fits perfectly with the dress, and then all we need is something for Lucan and a tie for you."
Lorelai had even more trouble finding something for Lucan. She definitely did not want her almost ten month old son wearing a suit, so she had to settle for something still fancy, but not too much. Luke saw at least 10 things he liked, but it wasn't good enough for her. "It's his first Christmas party, and the first time a lot of these people will see him. I want him to look perfect."
Luke just smiled as they walked into another store. They were running out of stores where they sell kids clothes so he hoped they'd find something soon. "How about these pants?"
Lorelai looked at them. They were dark brown, cord. "Could be an option, but he needs something on top of it. She looked at sweaters but didn't like any of them. "Let's just go okay? I'll try again tomorrow."
"No, we're not leaving before we find something. Let's check here. He walked to another rack and saw shirts. He picked up a beige one. "How about this?"
"It's too cold." Although she liked it.
"He just needs something over it."
She turned around and saw pullovers. She smiled as she found a brown one, with a gray stripe. "Like this?"
"Yeah, I like that. And it will fit perfect with the pants we saw earlier."
"And it's cool and fancy. I like it."
"Good."
They paid for the clothes and went back to the first store to pick up the shirt and to see if they had nice ties. "What kind of tie do you want?"
"Preferably none, but since that's no option, you just pick."
There was a wide selection but there were only a few Lorelai liked and even less which matched with the shirt. "You can pick between this one and this one." She holds up two. "I like both of them."
"The right one." It was silver-gray with a matching dark red stripe.
"Then that one it is." She hung back the other one and walked to the register. "See, shopping isn't that bad."
Luke smiled. "No, it isn't."
-xxxxxx-
Luke and Lorelai were standing at the front door of the Gilmore house. Luke was holding Lucan. They were all dressed up in the clothes they bought earlier that week for the annual Christmas Party. "So, this is your first Christmas party." Lorelai told her son.
"You've told him that at least ten times already, will you just ring the bell?"
"Yeah yeah." She pressed the bell and it didn't take long before Emily opened the door.
"Lorelai, you're finally here."
"Sorry we're a little late mom, but we had to feed Lucan before we came here."
"Well, it doesn't matter, come in. Rory and Warren are already here."
Lorelai handed her mother her coat and took Lucan over from Luke so he could take of his coat. He already helped their son.
"You're dressed up nice" Emily smiled at her grandson.
"I'm glad you like it mom." Lorelai was happy she approved of the clothes they had bought for Lucan.
"Let's get inside, I want everybody to meet my grandson." She held her arms out to Lucan, but he held on to his mother tight. It wasn't that he didn't want to go to his grandmother, but he heard a lot of strange noises and didn't want to leave the safe arms of his mother.
"Maybe later mom. He just has to get used to the crowd."
"He sees strange people all the time when you take him to work."
"True, but not so many people at the time, so it's different for him. Just give him some time, okay?"
Emily nodded. "Well, let's go inside. Your father is waiting for us."
They all followed Emily inside and it didn't take long before they spotted Rory and Warren talking to Richard. They joined their small group. They all said their hellos and when Rory held her arms out to her little brother, he refused, just as he had with Emily before, making Emily feel a little better.
"Is he alright, mom?"
"He's a little shy. There are just a little too many strangers for him right now."
"Like he's not in the diner for the dinner crowd."
"True, but they are mostly the same people, and he's usually in his playpen or on Luke's or my arms. Don't think he holds his arms out to just anybody."
"So he is shy huh." Rory smiled.
"He must have gotten that from Luke." Richard said. "Lorelai was always willing to go with everyone. We had to be sure to keep her with us, otherwise we'd lose her."
Luke looked amused and Lorelai just shrugged her shoulders. They couldn't go on about it any longer, as they were interrupted by one of Emily's DAR friends.
"Emily, is that your grandson?"
"It sure is." Emily replied proud. You remember my daughter Lorelai and her husband Luke, right? And this is my granddaughter Rory and her boyfriend Warren."
"Nice to meet you. I'm Gloria."
"Nice to meet you." Warren replied kindly.
"Oh, hear that wonderful British accent. Rory, where did you find this young man?"
"I studied with him in London. He came to America to study at Yale for a year with me."
"Rory, I think you have to show Warren the apple-tarts. You've been talking about them for weeks."
"I will. Come on Warren," Rory didn't even comment that it was her mother talking about them. She was happy to get Warren out of the hands of Gloria before she started asking more uncomfortable questions.
Of course this left Lorelai and Luke alone with the woman, since Emily and Richard excused themselves to talk to some other friends. "How long have you been married now Lorelai? Emily said it was a wonderful wedding. We were kind of sad we weren't invited."
"We've been married for almost a year now. It was planned rather quickly so it wasn't very big. But I'm sure my mother showed you all the pictures."
"You've had a wonderful dress." Gloria smiled and then excused herself to talk to some of her friends.
"Why did we have to come here again?" Luke asked.
"Fortunately there aren't many parties like this we have to attend. If it wasn't for the apple-tarts, I would try hard to get out of it." Lorelai took Luke's hand in his and squeezed it. "Let's see what Rory is doing, okay?"
-xxxxxx-
After dinner they were in the living room. Lorelai was getting herself a drink, while Luke was talking to Warren about some guy stuff. Before Lorelai realized it her aunt Marilyn walked towards her. "Hello Lorelai."
"Aunt Marilyn." Lorelai nodded polite.
"Where's that gorgeous son of yours? I haven't seen him in a while."
"We put him to bed upstairs. He was very tired."
"He's getting so big."
"Yeah he is. He's almost ten months now."
"He looks so much like his father."
"Yes he does." Lorelai replied proudly.
"So, when will his brother or sister be born?"
"What? I'm not pregnant."
"I know that dear. But isn't it time?"
"Uhm.. there's time."
Before Lorelai realized there were more woman joining them, mostly friends of Emily. "So Lorelai, are you and Luke thinking about having another child?"
"Well eh…" Lorelai replied uncomfortable.
"You have to think about it now. You're not getting any younger, and Rory is already raised as an only child, you don't want the same for your son too, now want you?"
"He has a sister so that won't happen." Lorelai defended herself.
"He has a sister who is twenty years older than him. It's not the same. Kids need someone to grow up together."
"Rory turned out just fine, and so did I. I'm an only child if you remember correctly." Lorelai looked around, searching for Luke. He was still talking to Warren and didn't notice all the woman attacking her with questions.
"But it's selfish to not think about it. My two children are only a year apart. They had such a good time growing up together."
"And now they don't even speak to each other." Lorelai replied bitterly. "As I remember correctly they were always fighting when we were kids."
"But still, they had always someone to turn to."
"And so has my son. He can always go to his sister, or to me or Luke."
"It's not the same. I had a sister who was only a year younger than me, we had a great time growing up together." One of the other women threw in.
"Emily is so proud. She never stops talking about her grandchildren. Why don't you want to give her another one?"
"That's none of your business." Lorelai tried to walk past them, but the group was too big, and they didn't let her go.
"You're so selfish Lorelai. You're only thinking about yourself and not about others. I'm sure you have an amazing job, but you're not getting any younger, so if you don't do it now you may never." Her aunt said. "You know your mother would love another grandchild and so would your father. You're a disappointment to them Lorelai. You've been disappointing them all your life, and you're doing it again. But this time you're not only disappointing them, you're disappointing your own son."
Normally Lorelai wouldn't have cared so much what others had to say, but this was a touchy subject and they were hurting her. "I don't care what you think. Why don't you all mind your own business." She gave one of them women a push so she could get past them and ran up the stairs.
Everybody heard Lorelai's last words as she raised her voice, and they were all staring at her when she ran upstairs. Emily was about to follow her daughter upstairs when Luke placed a hand on her shoulder. "Now is not the time. I'll go talk to her. You have to stay with your guests."
"But she's showing inappropriate behavior once again. My daughter never changes."
"Don't say that. You don't know what happened so don't judge her until you do. I'm sure she will tell you later if you stay calm. If you go talk to your friends over there about what happened, then I'll go upstairs and talk to my wife." Then he stepped towards Rory and whispered "I'm going after your mom. Please make sure your grandmother stays downstairs."
"I will."
Luke walked upstairs and stood still in front of Lorelai's room. He knew that's where she was hiding. He knocked softly on the door. "Go away." He could hear that she was upset and opened the door slowly. "I said go away."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Oh Luke." She was lying on the bed, her face facing away from him. Even from behind he could see she was crying.
He walked towards the bed and sat down behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "What happened, Lorelai?"
She just shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it."
To give her some time he lay down behind her, not caring about to take off his shoes, and put his arms around her waist, pulling her close to his chest.
"You're going to wrinkle your suit."
"I don't care." He placed a kiss on the back of her head. "Whatever it is, you can tell me. You know that. I thought it was going okay, besides from that incident with Rory in the beginning."
"You left me alone. You walked away from me, feeding me to the dogs."
"What?"
She took a few shaky breaths, trying to calm herself down. "They were all over me. Aunt Marilyn, and some of those stupid DAR friends of my mom. They kept going on and on about how Lucan should have a brother or a sister and that I'm selfish."
"But I don't understand. We're trying to have another kid."
"They don't know that. I don't want them to know that."
"So you let them go on and on about this? I don't understand Lorelai."
She turned in his arms, not liking that she was talking to him without facing him. "You and I and Rory are the only ones who know about us trying to have another kid. I don't want everybody else to know, just incase."
"In case what?"
"I don't get pregnant."
"It's been three months. There's enough time."
"I know that Luke. But they just went on and on and I couldn't get away from them, and you didn't notice it and my mom was… wherever she was, so I couldn't get anywhere. And I didn't know what to say so of course I said the wrong things. But if I had said that we're trying, they would have asked why I wasn't pregnant now, and they still would have said I was letting everybody down, just like now."
"You're not letting anybody down." He lifted her chin so he could look straight in her eyes. "I'm so sorry I didn't notice they were all over you. I won't ever step away from you again." He wiped away her tears with his thumbs and kissed her lips.
"Thanks." She placed her head on his shoulder. They stayed that way for a long time. Neither of them knew how long it had been before there was a knock on the door. "We're coming."
"Lorelai, can I come in?"
"Mom?"
Luke gave her an apologetic look. "I told her to stay away."
"It's okay. Do you mind checking up on Lucan? I don't want him to wake up without him knowing where he is."
"Of course."
Luke opened the door and let Emily in. "I'm going to check up on Lucan. I'll meet you downstairs?" He looked at Lorelai who nodded.
"Lorelai, can I come in?"
Lorelai sat up on the bed. "Sure. It's your house."
"It has always been. But you still wouldn't let me into your room."
Lorelai smiled. "I know. I'm sorry."
"Me too."
"Sit down." She patted on the bed next to her.
Emily smiled and accepted the offer. She sat down next to her daughter and tried to remember how long it was since they were in this room together. Probably when Lorelai was like 6 or 7 years old and Emily still brought her to bed. "I'm sorry for what happened downstairs. I talked to them and they told me what a shame it is that you're not thinking about having another kid now."
"It wasn't your fault."
"They are my friends aren't they? I'm so sorry Lorelai. I know how much you and Luke talked about this subject."
"Luke asked me why I didn't just tell them. In any other circumstances I would have, but I knew they would tell me that I was letting you down, and Luke and Lucan, and dad. I know they still did it this way, but somehow it didn't hurt as much because I know the truth. And I know you do, and Rory, and Luke. And Lucan is too small to even understand."
"What do you mean, other circumstances?" Emily knew there was more to this.
Lorelai sighed. "I was three days late. I was trying to find the courage to buy a pregnancy test, but then I got my period. For three days I was thinking that I maybe was pregnant and all that hope was gone when I felt the cramping starting." She stared at the sheets next to her. She was so disappointed in herself. Why did she get her hopes up? Why wasn't she pregnant? Why couldn't she give Lucan another sister, or a brother. She wanted it so badly.
"When your father and I got married we decided that we wanted to have a kid. I knew that we were still young, but we both wanted it so badly." Lorelai looked up at her mother. "We stopped with birth control on our wedding night and I thought that it wouldn't take long to get pregnant. But month after month I got my period. Almost a year went by and nothing happened. Your father was very supportive, but inside I was hurting so badly and I didn't let him know that. I was so disappointed in myself. I knew how much your father wanted a kid, and I couldn't give him that. I started doubting everything. I doubted whether or not I was a good wife, and I started doubting my own body. I was thinking about seeing a doctor, but then on our first wedding anniversary I found out I was pregnant with you. It was the best day of my life and the best anniversary present I ever got."
"You had sex before you got married?" Lorelai's eyes started shining.
"Of everything I told you, that you have to comment?" Emily sounded annoying, but knew that this was her daughter. And for once she was happy Lorelai was making a joke.
"You never told me that mom." Now talking about how long it took Emily to get pregnant with her, and Emily knew that.
"The only person I ever told was your father. Everybody was asking questions. Why wasn't I pregnant yet? I was married and I should give your father a child. That hurt so much, so I know how it must have felt when those women where harassing you downstairs. I told them to leave."
"You what?"
"I told them that if they thought I would be disappointed in you, they didn't know me. And Christmas is something you spend with the people you love. I did not want them to be there."
"You told your DAR friends to leave? That's probably not the last you'll hear of it."
"I don't care. I care about you Lorelai, and they pretend to be my friends, but when I was in the hospital I never even saw them. I tried to get back in contact with them after I got better, but now I realize I don't need them."
"Mom?"
"Yeah?"
"What are you doing on Christmas?"
"I don't know."
"Last year we celebrated Christmas here, with you and dad. But I was hoping that this year you'd be coming to our house. I want Lucan to celebrate his first Christmas at home. I was actually hoping that you and dad could come to our house on Christmas eve. I usually watch a lot of old Christmas movies with Rory, and we might play some games. Then we go to bed and on Christmas morning we'll be opening all the Christmas presents. I thought it would be nice if you were there too. You can buy some presents for your grandkids, and we'll be buying some for you. I know we brought you something today, but it's not the same."
"I would love that. It's the best invitation for Christmas I have ever had."
"Good. I'll give you all the details later, since we have 3 more weeks. But just one thing, you can't spend more than 100 dollars on the gifts."
"Per person?"
"Let's make it 50 dollars per person and you got yourself a deal."
Emily smiled. "Let's go downstairs. I'm sure everybody is wondering where we are."
"I'm sure they are. And mom?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
"You're welcome Lorelai."
When Emily went downstairs, Lorelai walked to one of the bathrooms to fix her make-up. When she came downstairs a few minutes later, she noticed that the women in question and their husbands were indeed gone. She didn't see her aunt Marilyn either, so she assumed her mother sent her away as well. She smiled. Then she walked further and was met by Luke. "You okay?"
"Absolutely. My parents are going to spend Christmas with us. Are you okay with that?"
"Of course. It's that a day you're supposed to spend with family."
"You remember last week when we talked about changes?"
"Of course."
"I think the relationship I have with my mother changed even more than everything else. We've been through so much the past year, and it was really bad, but somehow I'm glad we went through it, because without that, I don't think we'd be here right now, the way we are. Of course we would have been here, but not like this. You know?"
"I do." He squeezed her hand. "I do."
-xxxxxx-
Luke heard crying coming from the baby monitor he had in his pocket. "I think our son is awake."
"I'll go." Lorelai didn't gave him a change to protest as she walked upstairs into the room where her son was sleeping. He was crying furiously. She picked him up and held him close. "Mommy's here. Don't worry, mommy's here." It didn't take long before he calmed down. She looked at him and realized he wouldn't go back to sleep soon, so she just took him out of his sleeping bag, and put his socks back on. She had changed him into pajamas when she put him to bed, but didn't felt like changing him again. She put his stuff in his backpack and took it downstairs.
"Hey, he's awake." Rory looked at her little brother.
"He sure is. He was all alone upstairs and he didn't like it, so I decided to take him downstairs."
"It must be pretty scary all alone up there, in this big room. Of course he's here every week, but still."
Lorelai smiled. "Where's Luke?"
"Talking to grandpa over there."
"And Warren?"
"Kitchen."
"Why?"
"Getting a bottle for Lucan."
"Oh okay. And your grandma?"
"Over there. Talking to one of her friends."
"Okay. I'll go tell her Lucan is awake."
Rory nodded. "Then I'll check if Warren found the way to the kitchen."
"You better do that." Lorelai smiled and walked towards her mother. "Look who's awake."
"Hey Lucan." Emily smiled at her grandson, who once again placed his head on his mother's shoulder, not wanting to go to his grandmother.
"Hello Lorelai. Your son got so big. I remember last year at the Christmas party you were still pregnant."
"Oh yeah. And I had quite a while to go then. He's born at the end of February, so he's 9 and a half months now."
"Time goes so fast. They're all grown up before you know it. You better enjoy him now he's still little. He's out of the house before you know it."
"I hope time won't go that fast. Although, when I look at Rory I have no idea where the time went."
"That's right, you have a kid in college yourself. Wasn't she in England last year?"
"Yeah she was. She's been in London for a year. She came back last June."
"So that boy with that gorgeous British accent must be her boyfriend then."
"He sure is. He came with her to study at Yale for a year. I'm not sure where they will be next year, but I'm sure they'll figure something out."
"I'm sure they will. But don't think about that now. The time is going fast enough as it is. Just keep that boy of yours to yourself for a while. I can't believe there was a time when I didn't have to share my son and I was the most important person in his life. Now he has three girlfriends at a time."
"Oh, a real heartbreaker."
"Yes, he is. I have no idea where he got that, but hopefully he will grow up. I still have hope."
"I think things change when he runs into the right one. Just bare until then."
"I hope he'll find her soon then."
Lorelai smiled. "I'm glad my son looks like his father then."
"But I can see you in him too."
"Really?"
"He looks like his father, but he has your shining eyes."
Emily listened to the conversation in silence, glad that she still had some friends who could be nice. Friends who did visited her in the hospital, and stepped by occasionally after she was released from the hospital. There weren't many, but she learned that it doesn't matter how many friends you have, because only the real ones matter. It's better to have one friend who cares, than 20 who don't. She had thrown many parties since she married Richard, but she couldn't help and think that this one was the best one she ever had, even with the whole Lorelai situation. Right now only the people she really liked where left. Some of her and Richard's friends, and her family. And she promised herself that those were the people she wanted to spend time with. Why waste your energy on people who don't really want to spend time with you, or think they know you when they don't at all? And especially during this time of the year. Even if it's three weeks before Christmas, it is a Christmas party. And all Christmas is about, is spending time with the people you love.