A/N: Thank you guys for the reviews as always. I didn't have a chance to reply to them personally as it was either post this chapter or reply to the reviews and I figured that you guys would want the update instead. So again, thank you so much. Also if you're looking for a wicked read filled with comedy and a good dose of angst to boot, check out KateCyrus' story Energies and Ice Cream. Now, let's see how Dean is doing shall we..
Chapter Nine
Sam stood waiting impatiently and tapping his foot, with his arms crossed over his muscular chest in the hospitals pharmacy. Dean had spent three long weeks here and today his doctors had finally given him the all clear to go home under the strict rules of plenty of bed rest.
The chest tube had been removed around two weeks earlier and Dean's lung had mended enough to re-inflate itself. He was still having some difficultly breathing but his doctors assured a worried Sam and John that physically he was on the mend. Mentally however, Dean wasn't doing so well.
The young hunter had refused to speak to anyone since waking up. A nod or shake of the head or a shrug of the shoulders was the only response Dean would give to anyone's questions. This muteness from Dean had led to Sam having to give the police a statement for the both of them. He pretty much told them the truth and the doctors backed everything that he said up with their medical reports. He of course left some things out here and there but the police bought his story with no problems.
His doctors kept insisting that Dean see a psychologist but every time they asked they would end up with the same answer. John and Sam refused to let Dean see a shrink. They both knew that Dean disliked them and if he was in his 'right mind' he wouldn't have stepped near one. So out of respect for Dean they kept 'politely' telling the doctors no. Besides, they were Winchesters, they would work this out on their own just like they always had.
Sam was getting anxious as he stood at the pharmacy. All he had to do was pick up the medication that had been prescribed to Dean and then he and his brother were out of there. He had been given pamphlets on what the doctors thought that Dean was suffering from, namely; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS) and Moderate Clinical Depression. Sam had read the pamphlets so many times that he had them memorized.
John had left three days earlier to go to Missouri's. The psychic had suggested, well more like demanded, that they come to her house to recover. Knowing that Dean would need a stable surrounding the other Winchesters had agreed. Besides, maybe Missouri would be able to help Dean. In a psychic way that is.
Sam paid for the medication when the pharmacist came back and gave him the small plastic pill bottles in a brown paper bag. There was enough in there to last at least the next six months. Paper bag in hand Sam basically ran down the corridor to his brother's room. He was so glad that he would be able to get his brother out of here today. He slowed down just as he reached Dean's door and was careful to open it slowly and make some kind of noise at the same time. Dean had been really jumpy around loud noises and fast movements since he woke up and was lucid enough to notice his surroundings.
Dean was standing in the corner of the room with his back to the wall. It was another habit he had woken up with. He wouldn't let his back be exposed or vulnerable to anyone anymore. It was something that Sam wished he didn't understand. His brother's present condition was wearing heavily on him. Not that he would admit it. In the moments he was alone he would let the selfish little brother take control of his thoughts and he would wish that Dean had just woken up the normal, pain in the ass, overprotective big brother he had always been. Sam would feel guilty after those thoughts drifted through his mind however and then just thanked whoever was out there that his brother was even alive.
"Hey bro? You ready to blow this place?" Sam asked in a chirpy voice. God he just wanted his big brother back. Give him some time Sam. He's been through hell.
Dean nodded slightly and moved back into the wall a little more. The action made Sam's heart clench a little. His big brother didn't mean to do it though, he was pretty sure of that. It was just like some sort of reflex or something.
Sam continued unfazed, "Okay then. Well let's get going. You need anything first?" Sam asked to which Dean replied with a small shake of his head.
The younger hunter smiled to Cindy, Dean's full time nurse who came in with a wheelchair. Cindy put the chair next to the bed and took a few steps back. She was well aware of Dean's refusal to be touched and knew the transition would go easier if Dean did it himself.
That was another thing that had changed about Dean and it was the thing that hurt Sam the most. The elder hunter refused to be touched. Once he was coherent enough to notice his surroundings he had refused to let anyone touch him. Sam and John included. It had been hell when his doctors had needed to examine him and he had had to be sedated. The last time that Sam had touched his brother was while Dean had been sleeping and Sam had been holding his hand. When the older Winchester had awoke he had almost fallen off the bed in his flailing attempt to get away from Sam, his eyes wide and filled with fear.
It was even harder when Dean had a nightmare, which he seemed to have every time he went to sleep. He would thrash and flail in his bed making low noises in the back of his throat, the closest he ever got to talking these days. It was hard for the other Winchesters to watch because they had learned through trial and error, in other words John with a split lip and Sam with a black eye, not to touch Dean during or after one of his nightmares.
Sam looked up at his brother, Dean was glaring at the chair like it might bite him and he had made no attempt to go near it while Sam had been lost in his thoughts. It only took Sam a few seconds to put two and two together. Dean had realized that someone would have to stand behind him to push the wheelchair because his ribs and weakened state wouldn't allow him to move it himself.
"It's okay Dean, no ones gonna hurt you and I'll push it if you want?" Sam asked softly. Dean hesitated and then nodded, obviously not pleased but lowered himself gingerly into the chair just the same. Sam noticed Dean's body tense as Sam moved behind him and took a hold of the handles.
The younger brother muttered comforting words until they reached the front doors and Dean was allowed to get out of the chair. Cindy said her goodbyes to Dean and Sam and wished them both well.
Once outside Sam walked slowly to the Impala, keeping a vigil eye on Dean who looked like he might run off or have a panic attack any minute. Being midday the hospital car park was pretty busy.
However once Dean was situated in the Impala he visibly calmed down. The corners of his mouth even twitched into a small smile as he fingered the leather seat.
Sam smiled happily. He had always known that the Impala was his brother's safe haven but seeing Dean relax, even marginally, that knowledge was reinforced. And the small smile on Dean's lips that had been missing for way too long made Sam's heart lift.
"So I was thinking we could either head straight out to Missouri's or we could grab a hotel, something to eat and head off in the morning." Sam said, really hoping for an answer now that Dean was out of the hospital.
Dean startled, apparently having forgotten that he wasn't alone. He looked out the window and shrugged noncommittally
"Okay. Well I don't know about you but I'm starving. Besides, it's about time we filled you full of greasy food." He chuckled. It was true though. He did need to get Dean to eat more. His older brother had lost a lot of weight and he barely saw Dean eat anymore. When he did it was normally just a few bites here and there.
Sam pulled the Impala out of the hospital car park and made his way down the street.
So when deciding how Dean was going to deal with aftermath of what had happened to him and how he would deal with it, I've decided that he isn't going to deal with it, at least not yet. Sarah said in Provenance how she 'went into a nice warm shell', well I'm applying that logic here. But hey, she came out of it didn't she. Who says Dean won't. Please let me know what you think of this development. I'd like to know the good, the bad and the ugly here guys. Thanks for reading!
Mishka xXx