Miniature Bacon Strips
a Fullmetal Alchemist style parody of William Shakespeare's Hamlet
by BridgitKiido
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist was (and is still being) written by Hiromu Arakawa. Hamlet is a play written by William Shakespeare. I am neither of those people.
Act 1 Scene 3New characters featured in this scene (Role: FMA character + description):
Ophelia: Edward Elric, Alphonse's older brother and a state alchemist. Has a metal right arm and left leg, and has a huge temper. Needless to say, he does not want to be doing this.
"Alphonse?"
"Hmm?" The younger blond turned towards his older brother expectantly, an innocent smile on his face as his hands continued to pet the two nearby kittens. Edward, however, did not look happy.
"Would you care to explain to me why we're doing this again?" the older teen asked in a dangerous tone.
Al smiled even wider. "Because we get free kittens again, nii-san!"
Ed was not amused. "And why am I here then? In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a cat person."
"Because you wanted to make sure I didn't get into trouble!" Al was still smiling. "Besides, it's fun. You'll see."
"That's easy for you to say…" Ed replied. "You weren't casted to the role of a GIRL!"
"…And?"
Edward turned around and began to scream in frustration.
Al merely laughed happily. "Well, I'm off to go see Noa then. Oh, and um… stay away from Elysia. Mr. Hughes wouldn't be happy if he found out…"
"About what?" Ed was now giving his younger brother a death glare.
"Well… Hamlet and Ophelia have a… relationship…"
"Alphonse." Ed interrupted.
Al gulped. "Yes, nii-san?"
After a moment's pause, the older brother continued, "Now do you see why I don't want to be doing this? I'm not in love with Lieuten – I mean, Brigadier General Hughes' daughter! And I never will be!"
"But your characters are! In fact, the point of this scene is me telling you not to!"
Before Edward could respond, who should enter the room but Van Hohenheim. Ed immediately turned away from the door and muttered something along the lines of, "And what exactly is this bastard doing here?"
Hohenheim turned to Al and, reading a note card, stated, "Yet here, Alphonse? Aboard, aboard, for shame! And some more ranting about going off on your trip that I don't really feel like reading."
"I'm going now," Al replied, carefully picking up his kittens before leaving the room, still smiling.
Hohenheim also turned to leave, but before doing so he stated, "Oh, and Ed? Stay away from Elysia. You wouldn't want to get Mr. Hughes angry, would you?"
Hohenheim left the room just before Ed exploded, "I am NOT in love with Elysia Hughes! Why can't anyone understand that?"