Miniature Bacon Strips

a Fullmetal Alchemist style parody of William Shakespeare's Hamlet

by BridgitKiido

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist was (and is still being) written by Hiromu Arakawa. Hamlet is a play written by William Shakespeare. I am neither of those people.

Act 1 Scenes 4 and 5

New characters featured in this scene (Role: FMA character + description):

Believe it or not, there aren't any new characters.

Elysia yawned. "It's getting late…"

"But he doesn't come out unless it's late at night," Nina countered.

Sheska muttered nervously, "At least we don't have to worry about Envy noticing what we're doing – he doth wake tonight and takes his ruse…" Sensing the young children's confusion, she added, "Which means he's getting drunk."

"Oh," Nina and Elysia replied.

At that moment, Maes popped into visibility, causing Sheska to nearly faint. Elysia, however, smiled and waved, calling, "Hi Daddy!"

Maes smiled and, without speaking, beckoned to his daughter. Nina whispered loudly into Elysia's ear, "I think he wants to talk to you."

Elysia nodded, and she began to walk toward her father. Sheska, however, stopped her, saying, "But, Elysia, what if that's not really your father? What if it tempt you toward the flood… or to the dreadful summit of the cliff… what if… what if… what if…?"

Elysia smiled. "Silly Sheska, Daddy would never do that. You've been reading too much science fiction." She then bounced off happily toward her father, and they left the room.

Sheska and Nina looked toward each other. Nina asked, "Should we listen in at the door?"

Sheska nodded, and the two of them proceeded to do so.

"It's so great to see you, Daddy!"

"I'm so happy to see you too, Elysia." Maes was nearly in tears as he sat across the small table from his daughter. "I just wish I had more time…"

"What's wrong?" Elysia asked.

"Elysia," Maes replied, "you have to avenge my death. No… not death, murder."

Elysia gasped. "Who killed you?"

"It was Envy. Every time, it's been Envy. In the canon, he shot me by the phone booth. In last year's play, he stabbed me with a knife. This year, it was ear poison."

Elysia got a determined look. "Don't worry, Daddy; I'll definitely avenge you!"

Maes smiled. "Thank you, Elysia. But don't forget that he's a homunculus. It'll take a lot more than just a sword to kill him."

Elysia nodded. "I know, Daddy."

Maes stood up and gave Elysia a hug before disappearing, leaving Elysia to wave after him.

Sheska and Nina then accidentally stumbled into the room. Nina muttered, "I told you we shouldn't have leaned up against the door itself…"

Elysia walked over to them and asked, "You were listening?"

Sheska sniffed sadly. "Yes, we heard everything. What a tragedy…"

"In that case, will you promise not to tell anyone?"

From beneath the floor boards, they could hear Maes call out, "Swear."

Nina pointed to the ground and asked, "Is he supposed to do that?"

Elysia shrugged. "It's in the script. I think he's supposed to be playing a game of Whack-a-Mole with us. But anyway, pinky swear that you won't tell anyone?" She held out her pinky.

"Pinky swear," Nina and Sheska replied, and they connected their pinkies with Elysia's.