Chapter 39

Cold was an understatement, Anakin thought as he made his way across the lake, doing his best to keep up with his wife. She may have suffered memory loss, but she certainly had not forgotten how to swim.

Cutting through the water with easy strokes, Padmé was enjoying herself thoroughly. While Anakin found the cold water to be just short of torture, she found it invigorating. She felt so alive, so free – it had been so long since she had felt this way.

Glancing over her shoulder quickly, Padmé smiled to herself as she saw Anakin plowing through the water with powerful strokes. She was so grateful to him for bringing her here; it was just the trigger she needed to release the memories that had been locked up in her mind for so long. Yet, she knew that there was still much she did not know, something significant, and that bothered her. Whatever it was, she sensed that it was what was holding Anakin back from initiating a more physical nature to their relationship. She recognized the look in his eyes when he looked at her, and knew that he was not a man that held back when it came to how he felt. So why was he holding back now? What was it that had happened that would make him feel the need to do so? I will remember in time, she told herself. Everything else is coming back to me, whatever this is, it will as well, she reasoned, deciding not to dwell on it any further.

"Now, was that so bad?" Padmé asked as they walked onto the shore of the island.

Anakin smiled. "Do you really want to know?" he asked.

Padmé laughed. "I'll take that as a yes," she said as she sat down on the sandy beach. "It's so peaceful here," she said, closing her eyes and drinking in the warm sunshine.

Anakin sat down beside her, stretching out his long legs in front of him and leaning back on one arm. He was reminded of many other moments spent like this, moments spent without a care in the world, when it seemed that all that mattered, all that existed was the woman at his side, and the love they shared. How did I let that slip away? How did it all go so wrong?

"Something bothering you?"

Anakin looked up at his wife, who was studying his face intently. "You seem a thousand light years away," she told him.

"No, I'm right here," he told her with a smile. "Right where I belong."

Padmé smiled. "You know, I remember being here with my sister," she said. "We'd always race to see who could make it out here first. If I won, Sola would always fake a cramp or have some excuse why she hadn't won," she laughed.

Anakin smiled. "You two were very close," he commented.

Padmé nodded. "Yes we were," she replied. "I don't remember if you had siblings…do you?"

Anakin shook his head. "Nope," he said, digging in the sand with one finger. "Just me."

"They broke the mold when they made you, did they?" she teased.

Anakin laughed. "Well, you might say that," he replied. "I always wished I'd had a brother, though. Or even a sister. It was kind of lonely growing up without someone my own age."

"I'm sure it must have been," she said. "You began your training to become a Jedi when you were a child, didn't you?"

Anakin nodded. "Yes, shortly after you and I met. Qui-Gon took me as his padawan and secured my freedom. That's how I was able to leave Tatooine."

"Your freedom?" she asked. And then she remembered. "You were a slave," she recalled. "I remember now – I remember being so shocked when I learned that."

"You were," he agreed. "Hard to believe such a thing still exists," he commented with a frown, remembering the cruelty of his various masters, remembering his mother being unable to sleep at night sometimes because she'd been beaten…

"You know what the trouble with swimming out here is?" he said, changing the subject abruptly.

"What is that?" Padmé asked.

"We have to swim all the way back to eat breakfast," he told her with a grin.

Padmé laughed. "Is there ever a time when you're not hungry, Anakin Skywalker?"

Now there's a loaded question… "Well, occasionally, maybe," he replied. "I've just got warmed up though; I really hate the thought of jumping back in that deep freeze."

"Deep freeze," she said shaking her head. "You're such an exaggerator," she said with a laugh.

Anakin merely smiled in response as he lay back against the warm sand. "And if I told you that you are the most beautiful woman in the universe, would you still think me an exaggerator?" he asked.

Padmé was rather taken aback by his question, and did not respond at once. "Well," she said, finger on her chin. "I'm not so sure now," she replied.

Anakin laughed in response. "Typical woman," he said as he closed his eyes. "So fickle."

Padmé was silent, and Anakin smiled to himself, knowing that she was trying to think of an appropriate response. He was not prepared for what that response would be however and nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a gush of cold water on his now warm skin. Opening his eyes, he looked up to see his wife standing above him triumphantly, a huge grin on her face.

"You're going to pay for that," he said, scrambling to his feet and taking off after her.

Padmé screamed and ran for the water, doing her best to stay ahead of her husband. But he was much faster than she was, and it wasn't long before he caught up to her. Scooping her up into his arms, he walked out into the water, ignoring her protests to be released.

"I don't think so," he said with a smile. "You don't really think I'm going to let you get away with that now, do you?"

"Yes," she replied, trying not to laugh.

Anakin just shook his head. "You are too much, you know that?" he said as he prepared to toss her into the water.

"No don't!" she cried, holding onto him tightly.

"But you like the cold," he told her with a smile. "Don't you?"

"I do, but not all at once," she explained desperately.

"Ah ha," he said. "But you don't mind giving it to me all at once," he said.

"Oh come on," she said, "That's hardly the same thing!"

"Maybe not," he said, getting ready to toss her again, only to have her tighten her grip on his neck.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" she cried, capitulating finally. "Are you happy?"

Anakin looked down at her triumphantly. "Now, was that so difficult?" he asked with a grin.

She shook her head. "You are terrible," she said. "What am I going to do with you?"

What am I going to do with you? How many times had Padmé asked Anakin that question over the years, how many playful moments they shared were summed up succinctly by those simple words?

The seeming innocuous, simple rhetorical question triggered a wave of memories in both of them, and for a moment they simply stared at one another. Padmé took one of her hands and brought it to his face, stroking it gently. "Ani," she said simply, the memories too powerful to allow her to say any more.

"My angel," he replied, seeing in her eyes that she remembered just as he did. Unable to resist, he kissed her, as she wrapped her arms around his neck once again. Nothing else in the universe mattered at that moment, nothing else in the universe existed at that moment, save the power of their love. Anakin felt as though he had been transported back twenty years, to a time when nothing else had mattered. Nothing would be easier than to pretend it was so, to let go of all the inhibitions and problems that plagued him. His angel was in his arms, and she loved him. Wasn't that all that should matter? But it wasn't – and Anakin knew this. He also knew that if he did not put a stop to what was happening, his ability to reason would be utterly lost. And so he did put a stop to it, as much as it killed him to do so, he broke their kiss, again.

"I think we should get back to the house," he said as he set Padmé down, hating the look of disappointment in her eyes.

Padmé looked up at him, confused again, but more than that: frustrated. "Okay," she said. "I guess you're right."

"You know I can't survive long without food," he said with a smile, trying to break the tremendous tension that had sprung up between them.

Padmé smiled perfunctorily. "Yes, this is true," she replied. "Well then, let's be off," she said, walking into the water ahead of him so he would not see the tears forming in her eyes.

Sixth Planet of the Hoth System

"No Leia, that's not it. Try it again."

"But I'm doing it exactly as you instructed," Leia protested in exasperation.

Obi-Wan could sense that the young woman was getting frustrated; it had been a long afternoon of training, and she was clearly exhausted. But it was more than that, and Obi-Wan knew what it was: Luke had left that morning, and Leia was lost without her twin.

Seeing the two of them growing closer over the past weeks had made Obi-Wan wonder if separating them years ago had been the right thing to do. Yet, the decision to do so had been made under exceedingly difficult conditions: Padmé had been near death; and then there was what happened to Anakin…

"Let's call it a day, shall we?" Obi-Wan suggested gently. "You've worked very hard today."

Leia frowned, not wishing to quit simply because she was having difficulty getting a maneuver down. But she was exhausted, there was no point trying to deny it. I miss Luke, she thought morosely as she turned off her light saber. I miss my father.

"You're doing very well, Leia," Obi-Wan assured her, mindful of her sensitive nature. "This is a particularly difficult stance, and yet you're doing very well with it."

"Then why don't I have it yet?" she asked, pushing loose hairs from her face.

"Patience," Obi-Wan cautioned her. "You must remember to be patient, Leia." He stopped as he recalled how many times he'd had similar discussions with Anakin. "You are so very much like your father," he told her with a smile. "He always wanted to learn everything at once, and get it right immediately."

"He probably did," Leia remarked. "Being the Chosen One and all."

"Well even the Chosen One had his set backs," Obi-Wan told her. "But being incredibly stubborn, he never let them get to him. He would always find a way, no matter how long it took. I had to drag him from the temple gymnasium many a night when he was a boy just to get him to go to bed."

Leia couldn't help but smile. "He was a stubborn child?"

"Yes and no," Obi-Wan replied. "He was so eager to please, that sometimes it made him push himself too far. Plus the fact that the Jedi Council had rejected him made his determination to succeed that much greater."

"They rejected him because he was too old?" Leia asked.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes they did, and I don't think Anakin ever forgot that, or forgave them. Qui-Gon took him as his padawan without the blessings of the Council."

"So how did you end up as his master?"

A fleeing hint of sadness passed through Obi-Wan's eyes as he remembered the day his master had perished at the hands of the Sith Lord, Darth Maul. "I promised Qui-Gon as he lay dying that I would train Anakin," he told Leia. "Qui-Gon had complete faith that your father was the Chosen One of Jedi legend, and must be trained at any cost. It seems he was right."

Leia nodded. "I miss him," she said quietly.

"I know you do," Obi-Wan said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "You and your father are very close."

"We are," Leia said, feeling more miserable by the minute at the thought of him. "I think I will go and contact him," she said. "I need to see his face."

"Good idea," Obi-Wan said as they left the make-shift gymnasium together. "Give him my best, will you?"

"I will," she said as she ran off. Obi-Wan watched her go, thanking the Force that Leia Skywalker had been able to reach her father and bring him back from the Darkness. The future of the galaxy is in your hands now, Leia, he thought, wondering if the young woman realized just how significant she and her brother were. You and your brother will shape the destiny of a generation.

Naboo-Lake Retreat

Breakfast was tension filled as both Anakin and Padmé were lost in their own thoughts. Anakin hated the way he had pushed his wife away earlier; he knew that she was hurting and confused. Better that than the alternative, he reasoned. It was his hope that once she did learn the truth, she would be able to forgive him. But he could not presume such a thing; the atrocities he had committed both against her and the galaxy were staggering. It would take a great deal of love and forgiveness on her part to get past them, if indeed she was capable of doing so.

"Excuse me, but there is a communication coming through from the Hoth System," a maid servant announced as Anakin and Padmé finished their meal. They looked at one another, both excited to hear that their children were contacting them. Leaving their meal unfinished, they stood up and left the room at once, anxious to see the faces of their twins.

"Leia!" Anakin said as he and Padmé sat down in front of the screen. "It's wonderful to see you, sweetheart. How are you?"

"I'm okay," Leia replied. "It's good to see both of you- I've missed you."

Anakin frowned, knowing his daughter well enough to know that she was far from okay. "What's wrong?" he asked simply and without preamble.

Leia looked surprised, but only for a moment. She knew her father well enough by now to know that he could read her like an open book.

"Luke left for Dagobah today," she told him. "I guess I just miss him."

"I'm sure you do," Anakin replied. "As he misses you, no doubt."

"He didn't even want to go, not really," Leia told her parents. "But he knew how important it was for his training, for our training actually. Obi-Wan was having trouble keeping up with the two of us," she said with a hint of a smile.

Anakin laughed. "Now why doesn't that surprise me?" he said, looking at his wife.

"So why did Luke go to Dagobah?" Padmé asked. "I don't understand."

"He went there to be trained by Master Yoda," Leia told her mother. "One of the great Jedi Masters."

Padmé nodded. "I see," she said, wondering when she would ever get to meet her children. "And how long will he be there?"

"It's hard to say," Anakin said, knowing what was bothering her. "But we'll be together soon, Padmé," he told her. "Don't worry."

"I wish that were true," Leia said with a sigh. "But with the Empire no doubt scouring the galaxy trying to find us, we don't dare travel such a great distance. But enough about me," she said. "How are you two? You look great, both of you."

"We're very well, both of us," Anakin said. He looked at Padmé. "And your mother's memory is returning steadily."

"Is that right, Mother?" Leia asked with a smile.

Padmé nodded. "Yes, it is," she replied. "Being here has done so much to trigger my memory, I'm so grateful your father thought to take me here."

Leia looked back at her father, asking him the unspoken questions – does she know about Mustafar? Does she know about Vader?

Anakin knew what his daughter was wondering, hearing her silent questions. "She has a ways to go yet," he said. "But in time she will remember everything, won't you Angel?"

Padmé nodded, getting the feeling that something had just transpired between father and daughter that she was not privy to, and it only made her more determined to learn all that she could about her past. "Yes, I will," she said. "I'm remembering more every day."

"That's wonderful," Leia replied with a smile. "Oh, before I forget, Obi-Wan said to send his best to you both."

"How is the old man?" Anakin asked with a smile.

"He's fine," Leia replied. "He complains about the cold a lot," she added with a smile.

Anakin laughed. "Yes, I'm sure," he said. "He never did like the cold."

"Reminds me of someone else," Padmé said pointedly, looking at her husband.

Anakin looked at her with a smile. "Well, I was born on a desert planet, remember? I have no tolerance for cold."

"Ah, so that's it," Padmé replied, smiling back at him. "How silly of me."

Leia looked at her parents, feeling decidedly left out. She could not help but notice how much more at ease her mother was with her father now, the way she looked at him now; no doubt her feelings for her father were returning as her memory did. Leia only hoped that those feelings would be enough to get past the crimes of his past. If I can love him enough to forgive him, then surely she can too…I hate to think of what it will do to him if she cannot.

"Well the power restrictions are still on," Leia told her parents. "So I'd better go."

"Very well," Anakin said. "It was good to see you, Leia. I miss you very much. We both do."

Leia smiled, wishing fervently that she could be there to feel her father's strong, reassuring embrace. "I miss you too," she said softly, willing herself not to cry. "I love you both, very much."

"We love you too, Leia," Padmé replied with a smile. "And we'll see you soon."

Leia nodded. "I hope so," she replied. "Goodbye for now."

Sitting back in the chair, Leia watched as the image of her parents faded out of view. It was then that the tears that she had managed to hold at bay finally came.