A/N: It's hard to believe how fast time passes and how the things you want to do, are always put on the background. Same for writing this chapter. I wrote half of it weeks ago, but didn't have time to sit down and finish it until yesterday. I sincerely apologize for the delay!!
Thanks to those who read and reviewed the last chapter. And I hope you like this one!!!
Luke stayed home for two weeks after the twins were born but couldn't stay away from the diner much longer. As much as he wanted to, his employees deserved their much needed break.
"Do you want me to take Lucan to work?" Luke asked as he studied his wife. She was sitting up in bed while she was nursing Sam. Emilyn was still asleep and so was Lucan.
Lorelai shook her head. "Nah let him sleep. I don't want him to feel like he has to leave the house while the babies can stay home with mommy."
"But he gets more attention when he's with me. Plus he likes it at the diner."
Lorelai sighed. "I understand that, but no. Let him stay. I'll be fine. And if not I promise to call you right away so you can pick him up and take him to the diner after all. Deal?"
"Deal." He sat down on the bed next to Lorelai as he closed the last button of his flannel shirt. "I'll call you in a couple of hours. Try to get some sleep when the kids do."
"Will do." She smiled. "Don't worry so much okay. I'll be fine. I promise."
"I know." He leaned in to kiss her. "I love you."
"I love you too. But now go because you know Kirk is sitting on the steps in front of the diner waiting for you to let him in."
"Please don't remind me." He rolled his eyes which made Lorelai laugh.
"Get your up butt out here."
"Yeah yeah." He kissed her once more and stood up. "Call me okay?"
"I will." After Luke was gone she focused her attention on Sam who was almost asleep. She moved her thumb across his little cheek after which he started drinking again. She smiled as she enjoyed this little moment with her son. The house was completely quiet and the light started fighting it's way in through the curtains. She then looked at the clock and saw it was a quarter before six. Yawning she looked at her son and saw how he had fallen back asleep again. She put him on her legs as she adjusted her night gown. Lifting the baby up against her chest she got out of bed and walked into the nursery.
After she put Sam in bed and was about to walk back towards her own bedroom she heard crying coming from the other basinet. She hurried towards her daughter not wanting her to wake up Sam. "Shhh…. Baby." She whispered as she took the little girl in her arms. "Mommy's here."
She walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. "Are you hungry as well my princess?"
Emilyn stared at her mother with her huge blue eyes. She had calmed down the minute Lorelai had taken her in her arms but was not planning on going back asleep.
With a smile Lorelai once again opened her nightgown so she could nurse the little baby. Even though she was tired she enjoyed the moment with Emilyn as much as she did with Sam earlier. She knew that in a couple of weeks she would turn on the TV while nursing the babies, but now all she could do was watch them while they were drinking, her attention completely focused on them.
After about fifteen minutes Emilyn fell back asleep as well so Lorelai put her in bed. Going upstairs she listened at Lucan's door and was happy when she heard absolutely nothing. The boy was obviously still sleeping. She took a quick bathroom break and climbed back into bed. She checked if both baby monitors were turned on before she snuggled under the blankets and soon was asleep again herself.
-xxxxxx-
"Mama." Lorelai slowly opened her eyes and tried to adjust to the light. She wiped the sleep out of her eyes and sat up in bed, checking the alarm. It was a quarter past 7 now which meant she was able to catch almost an extra hour of sleep this morning. Satisfied with that thought she got out of bed and slipped into her bathrobe.
Lucan was already standing up in bed and smiled widely when his mother entered his room. "Mama."
"Hey buddy." Lorelai smiled as well as she took Lucan out of his bed. "Did you sleep okay honey?"
He pressed his lips against her cheek in response.
"I love you sweetie." She kissed the top of his head. "Let's go downstairs and get some breakfast huh. I'm pretty hungry. How about you?"
She descended the stairs and entered the kitchen where she placed Lucan in his chair. She filled the kettle with water and put it on the stove while she put a bowl with milk in the microwave for Lucan's oatmeal. Looking in the fridge she tried to decide what she would have for breakfast and wasn't really happy with what she saw. There was a lot of fruit because Luke had this crazy idea that she had to eat healthy because she was nursing the twins. With a sigh she picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number of the diner.
"Luke's."
"Hello, this is a very hungry woman that has absolutely no food in her fridge and was hoping to get a special delivery of pancakes and eggs. Since she can't get out of the house with 2 sleeping infants." She could almost see Luke's smile through the phone as she spoke the words.
"That's weird." He responded. "When I left this morning there was a fridge full of food. We have fruit and yogurt. There are rolls, there's oatmeal…"
"Yada yada yada."
"Come on. You have to eat healthy."
"I want blueberry pancakes Luke. Blueberries are healthy. You have to admit that."
"I'll send Lane over with blueberry pancakes if you skip the eggs and eat a bowl of yogurt and fruit."
"Luke. I need normal food. I'm nursing your children."
"That's exactly my point."
"I'll eat a bowl of yogurt and fruit if you send me pancakes and eggs. And bacon."
"Since when do you want bacon as well?"
"Right now. Come on. I'll eat a whole bowl of healthy food. Just for you."
"Fine." He sighed as he gave in. Knowing it was a losing battle.
"Good."
"How are the kids?"
"Lucan is sitting in the high chair waiting for his breakfast and both twins are asleep. It such a miracle how they manage to sleep in the morning while they stay awake half the night."
"I guess they're tired in the morning. Did you manage to get some sleep or did Lucan wake up by the time they went to sleep?"
"I slept almost an hour before Lucan woke up."
"Sounds good. I think I'll go lie down upstairs when things get more quiet around here."
"Hey, that's not fair. I can't do that."
"With some luck you can while Lucan has his afternoon nap."
"I hope so."
"Do you need me to come home? I can call Caesar and get him to come in. No problem."
"We already discussed this. I'm fine. You need to work. I'll see you tonight okay?"
"Okay. Lane will be there with your breakfast in a couple of minutes."
"You're a doll."
He shook his head. "Later crazy lady."
"Later burger boy." She put the phone down and took Lucan's bowl out of the microwave. She put in the oatmeal powder and mixed it. While it had the perfect thickness she put it on the table in front of Lucan and went back to the kitchen counter to get herself some tea. When she turned around to walk back to the table she gasped.
Lucan had reached for his plate and was covered with oatmeal. It was everywhere. In his hair, his face, all across the table.
"Lucan." She sighed as she put her cup on the counter and took a towel. "Why did you do that? You know you can't do it yourself and that you have to wait for mommy."
Lucan was looking at her with an innocent look on his face that said 'what did I do wrong?' When he noticed the angry look on his mother's face and the annoyance in her voice he started crying.
"Oh come on. Don't cry. It's not so bad." She tried wiping away the oatmeal from his face and hands but he was all sticky. So instead she took him out of the high chair and kept him on arm length while she carried him over to the counter. This made Lucan cry even harder. He had no idea what he did wrong and why his mother wasn't giving him a hug while he cried.
She put him next to the sink and put water on the towel. This made it easier to wipe away the oatmeal. She cleaned his face and his hands and tried to clean his hair as good as possible. "I guess you need a shower or a bath to get you all cleaned up huh." Now that he wasn't as sticky as before and the chance that she could get covered in oatmeal as well had dropped she picked him up and hugged him. "Mommy's not mad at you honey. She knows that you were only trying to help." She kissed the top of his head. "But please, don't ever try to help mommy in such way again okay?"
Lucan was too upset to calm down immediately and as if that wasn't bad enough, both twins started crying as well.
"Come on Lucan. Everything is okay now. Mommy will make you new breakfast soon but she has to check up on your brother and sister first okay?"
She walked towards the nursery and opened the door. She doubted what to do. Try and comfort Lucan first and let the two of them cry or put Lucan on the floor and pick up the babies. Hearing the twins cry made her breasts hurt so she hugged Lucan, placed a kiss on top of his head and then put him on the floor. He started crying harder but she ignored it and walked towards the basinets, taking first Emilyn and then Sam in her arms. She started walking around with the babies in the hope that would comfort them while her heart broke as she saw Lucan sitting on the floor crying his eyes out.
"Lorelai?" Lane entered the house and followed the sound into the nursery. "Lorelai?"
Lorelai turned around and faced her daughter's best friend. "Oh Lane. Hey."
"Hi. Do you need some help."
Lorelai nodded. "Could you please take Lucan? Or the twins?"
Lane nodded as she leaned down to pick up Lucan. "What's wrong with him?"
"He spilled oatmeal all over the kitchen table and himself and started crying when he found out I didn't like it as much as he did. I tried cleaning him up and comforting him but then the twins started crying and I didn't really know what to do."
"Understandable." Lane hugged Lucan. "Poor you. Not getting all the attention from your mom that you were used to. Thinking of it I'm glad that I'm an only child. Although I could have used a lot less attention from my mother while I was growing up. Tough call."
Lorelai smiled as the twins started to calm down a little. "Could you take Lucan into the living room and feed him some of the pancakes? Then I'll change diapers on these two and see if I can get them back asleep."
"Of course."
Lorelai put the twins down on the double changing table and put the gate in front of Emilyn so she couldn't fall off while she changed Sam's diaper. Afterwards she closed the gate on Sam's side while she changed Emilyn and then picked up both babies and put them back in their beds. After she made sure they stayed quiet and went back to sleep she went towards the living room.
Lucan was sitting on the couch next to Lane and was happily eating pieces of pancake.
"I guess he likes that better than the oatmeal I made him." Lorelai let herself fall down in the big arm chair.
"Yeah I think he does."
"You can go back to the diner now. I'm sure Luke needs you."
"I can stay here if you want. I don't mind helping out with Lucan and the twins."
"Nah I'm okay now. I was just a bit overwhelmed by the moment. The twins are back to sleep and Lucan is satisfied with the pancakes."
"You sure?"
"Positive. But Lane please do me a favor."
"Of course."
"Don't tell Luke about this okay? He'll rush home the second he hears about this, leaving you and Jake alone at the diner."
"We won't mind that at all. We're more than happy to help out in any way we can. We have no idea what it's like to take care of 3 small children but from what I just witnessed it's a lot of work. You should take all the help you can get."
"And I'll ask for it when I really need it. But I'm okay for now. Just go back to the diner and tell Luke that we're doing fine. Because that's how we're doing at this exact moment. Fine."
"Okay I will. But you shouldn't lie to him."
"I'll tell him when he gets home tonight. That's soon enough."
"If that's what you want."
"It is." Lorelai forced a smile. "Now go."
"I'm going already." She ran her hand through Lucan's hair. "Be nice to your mommy okay?"
He smiled as he took another bit of pancake.
"I'll just take that as a yes."
Lorelai sat down on the couch next to Lucan after Lane left. "You feeling better now?"
He responded by handing her a piece of pancake.
"Thank you sweetie." She smiled as she put the piece of pancake in her mouth. "Now this is real food."
-xxxxxx-
By the time the twins woke up again, Lorelai had given Lucan a bath and had dressed herself. Lucan was playing with his toy cars on the floor which allowed her to turn all her attention on the babies. She put one baby in the rocking in front of her on the table, while she nursed the other one. After she switched babies, Lucan got up to see what his mother was up to.
"Bubu."
"Baby." She smiled. "This is your sister. Emilyn. Can you say that?"
"Nnnnnnnnnnn." He said as he pointed at the baby in Lorelai's arms.
She smiled. "Very good. And what's your brother's name? Can you say Sam?"
"Am." He said, with a very proud look on his face.
"Wow. You're really good. And what's your name?"
He raised his eyebrows, not understanding what his mother was asking.
She smiled again and she pressed her index finger in his stomach. "Lucan."
"Luan." He said, and when he pronounced the letter L, his tongue slipped out of his mouth.
Lorelai laughed. "Good job. You have to show your daddy when he comes home, okay?"
"Dada." Lucan looked towards the front door. "Dada dada."
"No, daddy's not coming home yet
"Dada, dada" Lucan was standing in the hallway now, trying to reach for the door handle.
Lorelai turned around to look at her son. "Lucan, come to mommy."
"No." He yelled. "Dada." He sat down on the floor in front of the door.
"Lucan please. Daddy will be here later. I promise. He has to work now."
"Dada." His voice was barely above a whisper now.
Lorelai looked down at Emilyn, who had fallen asleep in her arms. She carefully placed the girl in her rocking chair and adjusted her clothes. She walked towards the hallway and picked up Lucan. "Daddy is at the diner."
"Dada."
"You wanna go to your daddy? Don't you want to stay with me and help mommy with the babies?"
He looked at his mother. "Dada?"
"Come on." She took his hand in hers and lead him over to the living room. "Do you want to play a game? Where are your cars?" She sat down on the floor next to the toys and pulled him in her lap. She handed him a car.
The distraction worked. He forgot that he wanted his father and ran his car over Lorelai's leg. She smiled as she took another car and drove it around on the floor. Soon they went up completely in the came, everything around them forgotten. That is, until Emilyn started crying. Lorelai kissed the top of Lucan's head as she stood up and walked towards her daughter.
By the time she reached the rocking chairs, Sam had woken up as well and made sure Lorelai heard he was awake also. Lorelai took both babies in her arms, trying to shush them. After they didn't stop crying she went into the nursery to check their diapers. But clean diapers didn't calm them down either. Oblivious to what they wanted she just started walking around with them again, knowing they were fed and clean so that there shouldn't be a reason for them to be upset.
Lucan looked around the living room and realized his mother wasn't there. So he put his cars aside and stood up, trying to find his mother. He walked into the nursery and found her there. "Mama" When that didn't caught her attention, he started pulling on her pants.
"Hey." Lorelai looked down at her son. "Mommy's a bit busy now. Why don't you go look for your cars?"
But that's not what he wanted. He wanted attention from his mother, like he got before. So he put his arms in the air, indicating for her to pick him up. "Mama."
"Sorry sweetie, mommy can't pick you up right now." And then towards the babies. "Shhhh… everything's okay." She started walking again, ignoring Lucan's attempts to get her to pick him up.
That upset him so he started crying again as well. At first he begged for Lorelai, but later starting calling his father, who of course couldn't hear him.
Lorelai looked at the twins who remained crying and then looked at Lucan, feeling sorry for him. He was used to getting all the attention and now had to share it with his brother and sister. It was obviously hard on him. Realizing it was impossible to calm the twins down, she decided to focus her attention on Lucan this time. She put the babies in their cribs and kneeled down next to Lucan, taking him in her arms. "I'm sorry sweetie." She walked out of the room and closed the door to the nursery, hoping the twins would calm down by themselves and fall back asleep. And if not, that Lucan would calm down so she could go back to the twins.
It was false hope. Lucan started to calm down a little, but as soon as Lorelai tried putting him down, he started crying again. Not wanting to let go of her. She started to feel desperate. Hearing the twins cry and not being able to do anything and trying to calm down Lucan completely without much of a success, as much as she hated to admit it, she needed help. She walked towards the phone and picked it up, doubting the decision for a moment before she dialed the number.
"Luke's."
She didn't say anything. Tears just filled her eyes as she heard his voice and she hated herself for being a lousy mother. She couldn't even calm down her children without the help of her husband.
"Hello? Who's there?" Luke listened into the phone but all he heard was crying. But not directly into the phone. "Lorelai?"
She sniffled. "Luke?"
"Lorelai, what's wrong?"
"I'm a bad mother."
"What? No. You're not a bad mother. What's going on? I hear crying. Are you crying?"
"No, yes. The twins are crying and Lucan is crying. The twins won't calm down and Lucan won't either. Every time he calms down a little and I try to put him down so I can pick up the twins, he starts crying again.."
"I'll be right there."
"You, you don'…." She looked down at Lucan and the big tears that were rolling down his cheeks. "Thanks."
"No problem." He hung up the phone. "Lane?"
"Yeah? Was that Lorelai?"
"It was, but how did you know?"
"I think she's a bit overwhelmed taking care of all the kids at the same time. They must all want her attention at the same time."
"What happened when you were there this morning?"
"Nothing." She looked away.
"Damn it." He muttered. "I knew something was up. You lied to me."
"I'm sorry. She told me not to tell you. She was okay when I left."
He shook his head. "It's not your fault. I shouldn't have left her alone this morning."
She gave him a look of sympathy. "Go home. We'll be just fine in here. I promise."
"Thanks. I'll check in later."
-xxxxxx-
Even from outside Luke could hear the crying going on in the house. He once again blamed himself for leaving Lorelai alone with the kids. He quickened his pace as he took the last few remaining steps to the front door. He found Lorelai in the living room where she was still holding Lucan. He had calmed down but she was clearly upset. The tears were shining through in her eyes as she tried to keep herself together. His heart broke at the sight and all he wanted was to take her in his arms and never let go again. But he heard crying coming from the nursery as well. "What do you want me to do? Take the twins or Lucan?"
She looked at her son and then towards the door of the nursery, not able to choose between her children. She shook her head. "I can't do this."
He walked towards her and took Lucan from her. "Yes you can. Why don't you go upstairs and get some sleep and I'll take care of everyone here?"
She shook her head. "No, I'll go check on the twins."
"Lorelai." He grabbed her arm. "You don't have to do it all by yourself."
"I know." She quickly placed a kiss on his lips and then walked into the nursery. Both babies were still crying, their faces bright red. She quickly picked them up and hugged them tight, walking around the nursery in circles. She didn't know how long it was before Luke joined her, taking Emilyn from her.
"Where's Lucan?"
"Asleep upstairs. He was exhausted so I put him in bed. He was gone almost immediately." He rocked Emilyn and she started to calm down as well, while Sam did the same in Lorelai's arms. It wasn't long before both babies were asleep so they put them in their cribs and then left the nursery.
Lorelai walked into the kitchen and filled the kettle with water. "You know, I would kill for a cup of coffee right now."
He smiled. "I can make you some decaf if you want?"
"I'd love that." She sat down at the table when Luke started filling the coffee maker.
"Lorelai?" Luke asked, when he put a mug with steaming coffee in front of her later.
"Yeah?"
"What happened this morning? When Lane came here with your breakfast?"
She shot him a guilty look and then looked down at her coffee cup. "I put Lucan's oatmeal in front of him and went back to the kitchen counter to make me some tea and when I turned around he was completely covered in oatmeal. I brought him to the counter, not hugging him because I didn't want to get covered in oatmeal as well and that's what upset him." She took a sip of her coffee. "God I missed this."
Luke smiled. "What happened after that?"
"After cleaning him up the best I could and started hugging him, the twins started crying. I walked into the nursery and doubted what to do. I decided to try and comfort the babies and then focus my attention back on Lucan, but that was obviously the wrong choice. He was sitting on the floor, crying and the twins were crying in my arms. I felt so helpless."
"Why didn't you call me?"
"Because Lane showed up. She took care of Lucan while I changed the twin's diapers. They went back to sleep and Lucan was satisfied with eating pancakes so the situation was in control when she left. I made her promise not to tell you. I didn't want you to worry, and even more, I wanted to prove you that I could do it myself."
"You don't have to."
"I know. But it feels different."
He nodded, understanding. "What happened later?"
"I was feeding the twins while Lucan was playing on the floor. He got tired and wanted attention, which I tried giving him best I could while feeding Emilyn. He started asking for you, but I managed to distract him when the twins went back to sleep. We played with his toy cars for a while which he enjoyed, but then the twins woke up and started crying together so I picked them up. Lucan didn't like that he wasn't getting attention anymore and started crying as well. This time I decided to do it the other way around and put down the twins while trying to calm him down, figuring that I could calm down them after he was. But obviously that plan backfired as well. I called you when I started feeling helpless and the rest is history."
"I'm glad you called me."
"I'm glad you came. As much as I hate to admit it, I can't do it myself. Maybe you were right this morning and should have taken Lucan to work with you."
"I'll take him to work tomorrow. I took the rest of the day off."
"Thanks." She reached across the table and took Luke's hand in hers. "Will it ever be better?"
"Of course it will. The twins won't cry so much when they get a bit older. Remember it was exactly like this just after Lucan was born? Only, we only had one baby to take care of and not 2 at the same time plus a toddler."
She nodded. "I remember now. How is it that we just forget about it when they get older?"
He raised his shoulder. "I guess it's human just to remember the good things."
She smiled, remembering what it was like with Lucan when she was feeding him. How much she enjoyed having something only she could give him. And feeling this way exactly the same about the twins. "I guess Lucan has get to used to sharing the attention as well. He just has to learn that he gets all our attention if the twins are sleeping and that he has to share otherwise."
"He will. I promise he will."
She sighed, and then yawned.
"Are you tired?"
"Hell yeah."
"How about we go downstairs and take a nap? All our kids are asleep so why shouldn't we, right?"
"Right." She smiled and stood up. He put an arm around her shoulder and kissed her temple. "Hey Luke?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm glad we're in this together."
T.B.C.