Chapter 40

Star Destroyer Executor

Darth Ferreus was in a foul mood. It seemed as though someone had been spying on him; not only that, they had been reporting his actions to the emperor. Ferreus felt humiliated that his sexual escapades had been the source of discussion between some of his men, one in particular. Which one, he wondered as he stormed through the corridors of the Executor. Which one hates me the most? Which one is foolish enough to mess with me? Ferreus felt certain that he knew who it was, and was determined to make an example of him.

"Admiral Ozzy!" Ferreus barked as he reached the bridge. "Get your sorry ass over here, now!"

Ferreus pretended not to notice the looks that the men exchanged.

"My name is Ozzel, my lord," Admiral Ozzel said as he walked over to his commander, and undisguised look of hatred in his eyes. "Ozzel, not Ozzy."

"Do I look like I care?" Ferreus replied curtly. "I am far more interested in the conversation you had with the emperor recently."

From the other side of the bridge, Captain Piett watched the confrontation as it unfolded, an uneasy feeling growing within him.

"I communicate with His Majesty regularly, Lord Ferreus," Ozzel replied evenly, doing his best to maintain his composure. "You will have to be more specific."

"Don't toy with me, Admiral," Ferreus threatened. "You know damn well what I'm talking about! Since when are my personal affairs your concerns?"

"When they interfere with the running of this ship, my lord," Ozzel returned . "When your sexual gratification is more important to you than your obligation to the crew of this vessel. When…" Ozzel stopped as he felt a tightening form around his windpipe. His hands flew to his throat as Ferreus smiled, his outstretched hand clenching into a fist. Within moments, Ozzel fell down dead, his face blue and distorted.

"I've always wanted to try that," Ferreus remarked, looking at the dead body at his feet. He looked up to see that every officer on the bridge was looking at him, their faces registering their utter shock.

"What are you all staring at?" he screamed. "Get back to your stations!" With that, he left the bridge.

Piett walked over to his fallen commanding officer. He knelt down beside him and closed the dead admiral's eyes, shaken and horrified by the wanton, cold blooded act of violence he had just witnessed. He motioned over to a pair of crewmen. "Remove the admiral's body," he commanded quietly.

The blatant disregard for life and abuse of power sickened Piett. Kendal Ozzel had been a proud, pompous man, but had he deserved such an ignominious fate? Piett watched solemnly as the body of the hapless admiral was carried away. With a sinking feeling, he realized that he was now in command of the Executor. He only hoped that as such he would not be the madman's next victim.

Naboo-Lake Retreat

Padmé stood on the terrace, enjoying the cool evening breeze. She had spent much of the day trying to work through her confusion. Why was Anakin's behavior so inconsistent? Why was he sending such mixed messages? She felt certain that she remembered her husband well enough to know that he had never been able to get enough of her. His desire for her had always been insatiable, unquenchable; so why now was he pushing her away just when things started heating up between them? Has he lost interest in me? That made no sense, not given the lengths Anakin had gone to to see to it that she remembered him and their life together. Was he not physically attracted to me anymore? Again, this made no sense; she recognized the look in his eyes when he looked at her, she could feel the depth of his desire for her when he kissed her. So what was holding him back?

Padmé's ruminations were interrupted by Anakin's arrival. He stole up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, enfolding her in his cloak.

"It's chilly out here," she heard him say, his body pressed up against hers.

"Yes it is," she replied. "It's nice."

"If you like the cold," he replied, kissing the top of her head. "Something on your mind?" he asked.

"Why do you ask?" she replied, not looking at him.

Anakin was silent for a moment. He knew exactly what was bothering her, but did not know what to say to make it better. Perhaps it was time to put everything on the table; perhaps it was time for total truth.

"You just seem rather pensive, that's all," he said at last.

"I suppose I am rather pensive," she replied. "I'm just trying to sort through everything that's going through my mind, everything I've learned in the past few days."

"I'm sure it's been a little overwhelming," Anakin remarked. "But you're doing so well, Padmé. You're like the Padmé I knew all those years ago."

"Am I?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied, kissing her again. "Just as beautiful, just as brilliant, and just as sexy."

Padmé became uncomfortable hearing him talk this way, and she moved away from him. Anakin frowned as he sensed her discomfort.

"Angel?" he said. "Are you alright?"

Padmé remained silent, not even sure what to say to him in response. "I don't know," she said at last. "I'm very confused, Anakin."

"I know," he said, stepping back over to her. "And I'm sorry for making you feel that way."

She turned to face him. "Don't keep saying that," she said. "You keep saying you're sorry, and I have no idea what it is you're sorry for! Do you know how frustrating that is? Do you know how frustrating it is that you speak to me like you want me and then push me away like you don't?"

"There's a reason for that," he told her. "I promise you, it is not something I want to do…"

"What reason?" she cried. "What reason could there possibly for making me feel like you don't want me? Because that is exactly how I feel right now, Anakin. I feel as though you are holding me at arms' length, and I don't understand why."

"Angel, please," he began, reaching out to her.

"Don't," she said. "Don't begin something you're not willing to finish, Anakin. I can't take it anymore, I can't take the rejection. Either tell me what you so obviously feel needs telling, or don't touch me. I can't stand being teased this way."

Anakin did not respond at once. Her anger and her hurt were so real and so deep that he wasn't sure what to say. Do I tell her now? In her current state? She's already angry with me; will telling her only make her push me away completely?

"I'm sorry," he said again, at a loss to know what else to say at this point, his own frustrations reaching their zenith. "Do you think I want to push you away? Don't you think it's killing me that I have to hold myself back this way? Don't you know how much I want you, Padmé? How much I need you?"

"If you truly felt that way, nothing would hold you back," she retorted. "I remember how it was between us, Anakin; I remember how insatiable you were. Nothing could stand in your way if you wanted to be with me, not the Jedi Council, not Obi-Wan, not even the Clone Wars. And yet now you are telling me that there is something that is preventing you from being with me in the way you want? Is that what you expect me to believe?"

"I can't make you believe anything, Padmé," he replied tiredly. "Perhaps it is time for total truth between us. I didn't want to have to tell you like this, I was hoping you'd remember what happened on your own, but..."

"Tell me what?" she cried. "What is it that you feel is so horrible that it is preventing us from being together?"

Anakin looked at her, not even knowing where to start. How do I tell you what I did to you? He wondered.

"Angel, it's late," he began at last, taking her gently by the shoulders. "There is so much to tell you, so much that I don't even know where to start. I will tell you everything, I promise. In the morning, I will tell you the whole story, I swear it."

Padmé considered his words, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. She saw something else there too: fear, and it unnerved her. What was it he needed to tell her that was so horrific it struck fear into his heart?

"Very well," she said at last, calming down somewhat. "Just so long as you promise."

Anakin nodded. "You have my word," he said earnestly.

Padmé sighed. "Then I suppose it will have to wait until morning. I just hope that you know, Anakin, that no matter what you tell me, it won't change the way I feel about you. I hope you realize that, and know how much I love you. This wouldn't hurt so much if I didn't."

Anakin moved his hands up to her face. "I know," he told her softly. "I love you too, Angel. I just pray that you feel the same way about me after I tell you."

Padmé frowned. "You're scaring me," she told him.

Anakin looked down, unable to look into her eyes.

"Perhaps we ought to get to bed," she said at last, moving away from him, unnerved by his silence. "That big swim this morning wore me out."

"Very well," he said, watching her as she walked across the terrace, and perhaps out of his life for good. "Good night, angel."

"Goodnight Anakin."

Planet Dagobah

Luke made his way through the murky waters to the shore, already starting to regret coming to this bizarre planet.

"Artoo, be careful will you?" Luke chided as the astromech droid strolled along the ramp Luke had set up for it. "I don't want to have to fish you out of this mess."

Artoo simply whistled in response as if to tell his young master that he had everything under control. Luke knew better, however, and kept a close eye on the little droid.

Finally they both reached the shore, and Luke stood with his hands on his hips, looking around at the overgrown swamp around them. "This is where I'm supposed to find Yoda?" he asked Artoo. "This?"

"And found him you have."

Luke turned around quickly to see the diminutive Jedi Master standing before him. "Welcome to my home, young Skywalker."

"How did you know who I was?" Luke asked.

Yoda smiled enigmatically. "Come you have to be trained?" he asked.

Luke nodded. "Yes, that's the plan," he said, not sounding too enthusiastic.

"Doubts you have," Yoda commented, watching the young man closely.

"No, not at all," Luke replied. "I want to be a Jedi more than anything."

Yoda nodded. "Then come to the right place, you have. Come with me, young Luke. Much work we have to do. But first we must eat. Even a Jedi must eat."

Luke smiled. He's not as bad as I thought he'd be, he thought, being careful to shield his thoughts from the old Jedi. The thought of a meal appealed to Luke tremendously, and so he followed the old Jedi through the marsh.

Yoda's home was a small hut in the middle of the swamp. From what Luke could tell, it had two rooms, a main one with a fire in the middle of it and a smaller one where Luke assumed the old Jedi slept. There was a pot suspended over a fire with a rather foul smelling concoction in it. Luke, however, was far too hungry to be picky, and far too polite to comment, and so he gratefully accepted a bowl of the peculiar stew when it was offered to him.

Yoda watched the young man as he ate his supper. Luke reminded Yoda very much of Anakin at that same age, in appearance at least. From what he could tell, his demeanor was more like that of his mother. Yoda decided that this was a good thing, for Anakin Skywalker had been a volatile young man, full of anger and fear.

Luke looked up at Yoda. He was surprised that the old Jedi allowed his thoughts to be so easily read. Perhaps he doesn't know I am capable of reading his thoughts already, Luke reflected.

"My father has been redeemed," Luke said, watching at the old Jedi for his reaction. "He is Darth Vader no more."

Yoda merely nodded, not giving Luke any indication of whether he was surprised or not. "Unexpected this is," he said.

"Yes, I'm sure it must be," Luke replied. "I suppose everyone had just written him off as a lost cause."

Yoda sensed the flicker of angry resentment in Luke, and it concerned him. "Many crimes your father committed, Luke," he said solemnly. "Immersed in the Darkness he was."

"Yes he was," Luke admitted. "But not any more." He looked into the bowl of stew, stirring it around slowly. "I miss him," he said quietly, more to himself than the Yoda.

Yoda was reminded very much of a young boy who was brought before the Jedi Council many years earlier, a frightened little boy who missed his mother desperately.

"A Jedi must not allow personal attachments get in the way of his training," Yoda told him.

Luke looked up at Yoda, his blue eyes sparkling with anger. "Is that what you told my father when he dreamed about my mother dying?" he asked bitterly.

Yoda remembered when Anakin had come to him, terrified and shaken by visions of someone dying, someone he loved. And what had his advice been? You must learn to let go of those you most fear to lose...

He hadn't realized at the time that Anakin had been speaking of his wife.

"Your father knew the commitment of the Jedi Order," Yoda countered. "Ignored them, he did. Arrogant he was to think he could do so without paying a price."

Yoda's words only served to anger Luke more.

"Do you know what brought him out of the Darkness?" Luke asked at last.

Yoda did not reply, and so Luke continued. "He found my sister and me," he told him. "His love for us brought him back, Yoda. And our love for him. So perhaps the notion that a Jedi should have no personal attachments is just plain wrong," he said, not caring if he shocked the old Jedi. "And perhaps if you had realized that sooner, my father would not have been destroyed by trying to save the one he loved."

"Your father chose the Dark Side," Yoda replied, growing irritated at the young man's boldness. "Power was what he loved most; do not delude yourself into thinking otherwise."

"My father chose the Dark Side to save my mother," Luke countered angrily. "Out of desperation because he had no where else to turn!"

Yoda did not respond, and merely shook his head in disbelief. How do you expect me to teach this young one, Obi-Wan? He is so resentful, so angry, so much like his father…

"Maybe it was a mistake to come here," Luke said, setting his bowl down. "I…I don't know if I can do this."

"Much anger you have in you, young Luke," Yoda said at last, sensing that the young man was starting to calm down. "Understandable this is. But watch that this anger does not turn you into what your father became. The Dark Side feeds on anger, Luke, on hatred and fear. The emperor saw this in your father, and used it against him. Pleased I am that your father has defeated the Darkness within him, unprecedented this is. But the emperor will not allow his defection to go unpunished. Sidious is relentless, ruthless, and will stop at nothing until he destroys his former servant if he believes he has betrayed him. You and your sister would serve his purpose, Luke; nothing would please him more than to turn you or Leia to the Dark Side as punishment for your father's betrayal. Do not allow him the chance to try, Luke; he is very strong. Look what he did to the Chosen One."

Luke nodded, suddenly feeling ashamed for his anger and for his outburst. "I know," he said softly. "He destroyed the good man my father was. I won't let him win again, Master Yoda," he vowed, shaking his head. "I won't let the Sith destroy my family again. I want to become a Jedi so that my sister and I can help our father destroy the Sith and its evil master."

Yoda nodded, a flicker of hope growing within him. "A powerful Jedi you will be, Luke," he said. "Just like your father."

Luke smiled. "Thank you, Master Yoda," he replied. "I won't let you down. I promise."