Know Your Stars Avatar the Last Airbender

Note: Sokka got some votes! So Sokka now has a chapter, that boy is about to lose boomerang privileges.

Dedication: My wonderful reviewers who gave me some ideas and that stupid flamer who made me realize I can write and annoy people at the same time.

Disclaimer: Caves with chairs in them...random voices...being accused of liking Toph and Ty Lee that way...I think I've got Midnight Sun Madness. I'm going home to where stuff makes sense.

Third Victim: Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe

Sokka was out trying to hunt, big emphasis on the trying. He was hot and tired and had been up since daybreak trying to catch some meat. Basically what you have here is a very grumpy, hungry Sokka so you can imagine his relief when he stumbled upon a cave. A very cool and inviting cave with a nice comfy chair inside. Being the tired, hungry, curious guy that he is Sokka didn't ask questions just went in and sat in the chair. This would soon be a decision that Sokka would regret, just like the time he drank cactus juice and the other time when he tried buzzard wasp 'honey'.

"Know your stars! Know your stars! Know your stars, Sokka of the southern water tribe!" the voice shouts causing Sokka to topple to the floor.

"Who… who are you?" Sokka gasped trying to right himself back on the chair.

"Nunya. Nunya business (1). Sokka of the southern water tribe he is on PETA's most wanted list for cruelty to animals."

"Hey! When have I ever been cruel to animals?" Sokka demanded angrily.

"What about that time you hit Momo with a water whip?"

"That was Katara. I'm not a water bender I'm a warrior."

The voice snorts, "You… a warrior? Right warrior of what the pyrotechnic squirrel army?"

"No, of the water tribe!" Sokka shouts his voice echoing off the cave walls.

"Sokka the suckiest water bender ever, he is under the illusion that he is the leader of a pyrotechnic squirrel army."

"But I already said that I'm not a water bender! And I don't have a squirrel army. Pyrotechnic or otherwise."

"Yeah, if I was as crappy of a waterbender as you are I wouldn't admit to it either."

"But I'm…."

"Sokka! He's going to try and use his instincts to lead a pyrotechnic squirrel army against the Fire Nation." The voice interrupted loudly.

"But I already said that I…."

"Sokka, he's a sneaky four timing jerk." (2) The voice announced grinning.

"Four timing? What the? How the hell am I four timing? And with who?"

"Suki, Yue, Toph and Ty Lee." The voice explained. "Sokka he is a slutty, slutty ho bag."

"But I haven't done anything with anyone! And I don't even like Toph or Ty Lee that way!" Sokka protested.

"Sokka the slutty ho bag who can't waterbend properly. He trusted his instincts and that's why he fell for the circus freak!" (3) The voice cackled

"But… I don't even know what a slutty ho bag is!" Sokka shouted jumping from his chair ready to chuck his boomerang in the direction of the voice.

"Sokka, he's a complete idiot."

"Just because I don't know what you meant by calling me a slutty ho bag doesn't mean I'm an idiot."

"What about that time that you decided to lick that goop off the cave walls that time you got stuck in the desert?" the voice counters laughing.

"That wasn't stupidity, that was curiosity." Sokka argued.

"Whatever you say." You can just picture the voice rolling her eyes. "Sokka the stupid, slutty, untalented waterbender. He wants to quit eating meat and become a vegan(4) like Aang."

"What? Now why the hell would I go and do a stupid thing like that?" Sokka demanded angrily.

"Because you're an incompetent hunter along with being an incompetent waterbender and your instincts told you that you should become a vegan." The voice replied smugly.

"Okay! That's it!" Sokka began to shout angrily, as he jumped around waving his arms above his head. "You can say that I'm four timing Suki, and you can say that I have a pyrotechnic squirrel army! But when you imply that I'm a lousy hunter and am going to give up eating meat, well that's where I draw the line!" And with that Sokka bolted from the cave.

"And now you know Sokka, the lousy hunter from the southern water tribe who can't waterbend worth crap and is four timing most of the girls on the show." The voice paused to catch her breath. Then she began to plot her next attack.

I'm going to have angry Sokka fan girls after me aren't I?

Well, I'm glad that's finally finished. Please read and review. Suggestions greatly appreciated- I'll give credit.

1.) Borrowing a quote from The Blind Bandit

2.) Suggested by Avatarrox1234. I just added the jerk part.

3.) Thanks to Angel for some clarification on how this chapter should go.

4.) An extreme form of vegetarianism where people don't eat any meat or animal by-products including eggs and dairy. Needless to say, that's not something Sokka would do.