A/N: This is going to be different than anything you've read before (at least I hope so). I know that the characters are out of context, it's on purpose. I just want to paint a different kind of story, so please don't review and tell me the characters are OOC, as I wrote them that way. I wrote this story with Christian undertones on purpose. I wanted to explore what it would be like if Lorelai had the morals instilled in her by the church and how she would feel if something like this "accidentally happens". I wanted to see how her friendships would take place, and how her relationship with her parents would take place if that was the center of it. This is the way I think it would happen. The story may seem sad, and it may seem pessimistic, but I promise, it won't always be that way. I wanted to write a story that would challenge me as an author, and would challenge my readers, and I think I'm doing that with this story. Review and tell me what you think, be it negative, positive, whatever. I do want to know. It helps me dictate what my readers want so I can write to my audience better. Thanks, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own my character's actions, thoughts, and their lives. I don't own their names. This may be a Gilmore Girls fanfic, but it is all mine except for the names of certain characters, some of the plot line, and the towns of Hartford and Stars Hollow (which, as far as I know, don't belong to ASP either).

Lorelai stood in front of the full-length mirror, smoothing out her skirt and straightening her top. She preferred jeans and a t-shirt any day of the week, but she understood her parents' reasoning in dressing up for church. She wouldn't admit it, but sometimes she liked dressing up. She felt beautiful when she did, almost as if she stepped out of a fantasy. She grabbed her brush and smoothed it through her dark brown hair, letting a few curls bunch up by the sides of her face. She pursed her lips and put on some lip gloss. Taking a step back, she admired herself in the mirror. Man, Lorelai, she thought. You almost look decent today. Too bad that shirt is a little too wrinkled. At least your thighs don't look huge. She sighed. Why must she always bring herself down the way she did. A horrible thought came to her mind, What if my "fat days" are really my normal days… And the days where I look normal are really my "skinny days". What if I really do look like an elephant?

Lorelai was interrupted from her thoughts by a slight tap at the door. "Loreali," her father said, "It's time to go. We're going to be late. The service starts at 10."

"Okay dad," Lorelai said, grabbing her purse. She didn't mind church all that much. She'd grown up going. She liked the music, and the pastor wasn't too horribly long with his sermons. Besides, she loved her friends there. There were over ten high school kids and she got along well with all of them. Well, she got along particularly well with one of them: Christopher Hayden.

She opened the door. "Why, Lorelai, you look quite beautiful," her father said.

"Yes, and appropriately dressed," her mother added. Lorelai couldn't help but laugh at her parents' subtle hints.

"Thanks Mom, Dad." She said. "I aim to please."

The Gilmores hurried out the door and got in their car to start the short ride over to the church they attended. Lorelai gazed aimlessly out the window. Part of her was focused on the weather, but mostly she was focused on him. Christopher. She loved him with all her might, and even more surprisingly, her parents loved him. Everyone at church thought they were perfect for each other. Even their youth minister, who normally discouraged dating within the group, was fond of Lorelai and Christopher's relationship.

When they arrived at church, Lorelai quickly found a seat next to her two best friends, Laura and Lydia. They grinned as she approached them, and she quickly scanned the sanctuary for Chris. She found him a few rows up with his parents and when he glanced back, she smiled and lifted her hand in a small wave. He smiled back and then turned around.

Throughout the service, Lorelai tried to focus. She sang all the songs, and meant the words she sang. She listened to the pastor as he talked about redemption and salvation. She'd heard this sermon before, but she tried to pay close attention. Her parents had always told her that she could always get something new out of his sermons, even if she'd heard them before. About twenty minutes into it she became disinterested and noticed a note that Laura had written on the side of her bulletin with the small pencil she'd found in the pew in front.

Lorelai smiled and passed notes with Laura throughout the sermon. By the middle of the sermon, they'd decided where to go for lunch, who was going to host the youth Superbowl party, and where Lorelai should make Christopher take her on her next date. Lorelai smiled as she thought about Christopher. She looked over at Laura and scribbled down a note on the piece of paper.

If I tell you something, promise you won't get mad or upset or judge me or anything.

Laura wrinkled her forehead. Of course not. She wrote fast. What's going on?

Lorelai exhaled. Christopher and I had sex the other night… We didn't mean to, it just kind of happened…I'm not sure what I think about it.

Laura stared at the piece of paper for a minute. She wrote something and scribbled it out. She finally handed Lorelai the piece of paper back. What do you mean?

I liked it, you know? I love Christopher, I know I do… But I know this is wrong… And I feel guilty…I mean, you remember the whole fireplace analogy Pastor Mark always uses. Sex is like fire and marriage is like a fireplace. The fire is wonderful when it's inside the fireplace but once it leaves the fireplace it causes all sorts of problems.

Laura nodded. Are you okay though? You're not pregnant or anything? You were safe?

Lorelai nodded. I'm not pregnant. I mean, he used a condom and I take birth control for my period already… We should be pretty safe.

Laura wrote after thinking for a minute. Hey, since lunch is with everyone, let's go out to coffee. Me, you, and Lydia. We can talk about this. I'm sure it would make you feel a little better.

Loreali smiled and patted her friend's leg. Laura reached over and squeezed Lorelai's hand. "It's going to be okay, Lor," she whispered. Lorelai nodded, but she still couldn't shake the feeling inside of her that it would never really be okay.

Lorelai sat at the Starbucks in Hartford, Lydia and Laura across from her. She still hadn't told Lydia what was going on, but she knew that Lydia was aware something was out of place. Laura kept looking at Lorelai as if to tell her to start talking, but Lorelai just didn't know where to start. Lydia decided to start for her.

"Okay Lor, I love having coffee with you girls, but we all know that going out for coffee is more a comfort food and dish time than anything else. What's going on?"

Lorelai took a deep breath. "I slept with Christopher."

Lydia's mouth dropped open a little. "You mean like slept with Christopher under the stars with a tent right?" When Lorelai shook her head, Lydia nodded. "That's what I thought…"

Lorelai looked at them, "I feel awful. We both do. I mean, it was fun while it lasted but as soon as we got over that high we both felt so guilty. It's eating up at me, guys…"

Lydia and Laura both looked at her. Lorelai looked at them. They nodded for her to continue. "I mean, we've been told since we were three not to have sex before we're married and that it separates us from God and I don't know guys… All of those old ladies in church was right. It absolutely ruins everything…" Lorelai let a tear run down her cheek. "I mean, there's this whole guilt thing between Chris and I… But there's also this whole new level of love and obsession that was never there before. My mind just constantly goes back to it…"

Lydia and Laura nodded as Lorelai drunk her coffee at an alarming rate. Laura gently pushed her own coffee over to Lorelai. Lorelai looked at her incredulously, but Laura only nodded. Lorelai smiled and brought the coffee to her lips, thankful to have true friends like Laura and Lydia.

"What are you going to do?" Lydia asked.

"I don't know," Lorelai confessed. "How do I get over this?"

"I think," Lydia started, trying to be careful with her words so as not to hurt her friend. "I think you might need to take a break with Christopher. I know you love him, but if you're feeling guilty about this now and it's only been once, imagine how you'll feel after the second or third time… And you've already done it, so it'll be harder for you to stop yourself next time."

"I know," Lorelai replied.

"I think it might be best," Laura said. "Just for now. Later, you can get back together with him. But I think you both need to work this out on your own and come to grips with how you feel."

Lorelai nodded.

"How did it happen?" Lydia asked, touching Lorelai's hand softly.

"I don't even know," Lorelai confessed. "It just did… I mean, we were sitting on the couch watching a movie and all of a sudden we were kissing and then we were upstairs in his bed and then we were naked and then I was sore… I'm not even sure what happened. It was like one minute I was perfectly fine and the next minute…

"I'm a horrible person," Lorelai said after a moment, putting her head in her hands. Laura and Lydia murmured soft no's. They got up and put their arms around their friend, trying to console her.

"You know we love you," Laura said.

"We're always here for you," Lydia agreed.

Lorelai smiled. "I know. Only true friends give away their coffee."

Lorelai let the phone ring two or three times. Christopher, please pick up… I'm not sure I could do this later… Lorelai silently tapped her foot against the side of the bed. Damn it, Christopher… Please…

"Hey," Christopher's voice came on the line.

"Hi," Lorelai sounded surprised and hurt all at the same time. "What are you doing?"

"Not much," Christopher said. "Reading. What's up?"

"We need to talk," Lorelai said softly into the receiver.

"About the other night." Christopher half-asked, half-stated.

Lorelai nodded as if he could see her on the other end. He waited for her to answer and then finally figured that her silence was enough of an answer.

"Where should I meet you?" Christopher asked. He knew better than to recommend that they meet at one of their houses. Both of their parents had gone out with other friends after church, and they both knew being alone together wasn't the best idea.

"The park," Lorelai said. "I mean, the one by my house. I'll see you in twenty minutes."

Lorelai hung up and slipped on her shoes. She looked at herself in the mirror. Gosh, Lorelai, did someone just die? He's going to know something's up just by looking at how red your eyes are. She quickly wiped them and grabbed her jacket. She walked the short road to the park, all the while wanting to turn back yet knowing she was unable to. Hands in her pocket, she stared down at the ground, counting her steps. 1, 2, 3, 4. 1, 2, 3, 4. God I can't do this. 1, 2, 3, 4. 1, 2, 3, 4. She looked up to see him sitting on the bench, two water bottles next to him. Her heart melted as she saw him, and she could feel the tears stinging her eyes and the dagger thrust into her heart.

She sat next to him and said nothing. He looked straight ahead at the kids playing on the swing. Neither of them really wanted to talk about what had happened. They both knew they had screwed up. But they both knew they'd enjoyed screwing up. Neither wanted to hurt the other's feelings, yet they both felt at fault. If she hadn't kissed him as passionately… If he'd had the power to say no, even when she said yes.

"Chris," Lorelai started, staring straight ahead. She could feel him almost tense next to her. "I don't think we can do this anymore."

"I know, Lorelai. It's wrong. We shouldn't have done it anyway." He stopped for a minute, "I mean, I liked it and everything. I really did… but we just can't."

"No, Chris," she said, her voice shaky. "I mean, we need to take a break."

He looked at her, his eyes a mixture of misunderstanding and anger.

"I love you, but I'm scared. I'm scared if I keep spending time with you, I'll lose my strength again and we'll just keep hurting each other… I don't want to live like this, Chris." She let her words hang in the air softly. His breathing became faster and heavier. She knew he was upset and angry. She would be too. He probably thought she'd just taken him for what he was worth and let him pick up the pieces of guilt and regret after she had gotten her hour of pleasure.

"Okay, Lorelai." Chris said softly. "Whatever you need. I'm here if you need me, okay?" She looked at him. She'd never loved him more than she did right then. Tears welled up in her eyes and she let them fall down her cheeks. He pulled her close and just held her there until she managed to stop crying. When she had, he got up and hugged her and said goodbye. She put her hands in her pockets and walked home much the same way she had before. She enjoyed the crisp feeling against her face normally, but today it was just a reminder of how cold and bitter the world was. Her feet didn't seem to move fast enough as she nearly ran home. All she wanted to do was crawl into bed and let the world disappear. With one act she had lost everything: Her innocence, her purity, and worst of all, the one person she loved more than anyone else.