Review offering insight to the story:
"Okay so here's my plan, just ponder with me for a moment. I suggest you put almost your full time in working on this piece than any of your other works. Why? Because as much as I love your other works this one blows them away. I love Growing, its sweet and adventurous with a lot of romance, but I can't help but feel that its too romantic at times (but I love the friendship), and well, I actually really want you to update A Family Affair so never mind! The Werewolf Tamer brings Hermione in a difficult situation with a new twist on a time turner fic that I have NEVER read before. This has the potential to be the best time turner fic out there. I'm not usually a Remus and Hermione supporter but you have me craving for it and it frustrates me to no end that I cna't find anything rmeotely good enough to read while I wait for you to update! I love this fic, I am intrigued by the Marauders and the theory you have on werewolves. The original characters fit in nicely. excellent work, well all of it is, but this is by far one of my favorites." - Danielle of Fanfiction net.
Thank you to the following reviewers: Hotkat144, killing u with umbrellas, Hermione Rulz, Jester08, Black-Rose23, bethygirl94, nelygirl, dumbledorelover, untamedspriral, Dizi 85, quiet-mg, amrawo, pstibbons, Lee Swain, DeltaGamma Liv, Lupin's Mistress (Erika), DramaQueen4eva, Caligirl-HPLVR, brokenblackangel, Blair Sloan and especially Danielle, hawkeyehellsing, laugh.live.learn, aureliasilver, mskiti and galloping-goose.
The Werewolf Tamer
Eight
The next few weeks for Hermione seemed to fly by. Brighton hadn't written or shown up, but she was still holding out hope for him. Since the Scottish Ministry hadn't contacted her with news that he had caused problems and the paper was free of any thing that might be connected to Brighton, she was sure he was staying out of trouble, at least. Albus hadn't yet found an exact location for Darnell, but he was close, of that he was sure. Hermione hadn't grown very fond of the rest of the professors that worked at Hogwarts, and stuck to the few that she did like. Professor McGonagall was easier to get along with in this time and Hermione found her to be quite comforting in the department of loss. Though they didn't talk often about Hermione's friends and family, on the rare occasion that McGonagall was able to get her to open up, she had been very nice to talk to.
Albus was still treating Hermione like a long lost friend and she couldn't help but enjoy every time they had tea or talked over meals. He was quite refreshing in this year, not so overwhelming in the capacity he had been in her time. The Dumbledore she knew was wise and careful, all knowing and rarely smiled near the end. He was weathered by the circumstances of war, though it could only be seen in darker times. He did have a certain energy about him that rarely seemed to dim. This Albus though, he was welcoming and easy going, always sharing information with Hermione. She wasn't sure though, if it was because she was from the future or if he truly trusted her. He admitted her true importance to very few in the Order, consisting of only those Hermione knew to be trustworthy. McGonagall, Moody, and Gideon and Fabian Prewett were the few that had been told about her true origins and even they were put under a Wizarding oath never to share the information unless given direct orders by Hermione or Albus to do so. All the others only learned that she had been battling Death Eaters and Voldemort for years, but kept a very low profile. With recommendations that she be brought in from all those that knew her, including Hagrid even though he didn't know she was from the future, she was inducted into the Order of the Phoenix, the original group.
The first meeting was a bit of a disaster, given that so many weren't sure what she knew or whether to really trust her. Hermione put up with the questioning glances and curious questions but she wasn't letting much out. In her own Order she was still sure there had been a snitch, and knowing that Peter would eventually rat out the Marauders, Hermione was hesitant to trust many. Albus did ask her to share her Werewolf Project however, and she was warmed as she told them all about what she had accomplished and her belief in the system. That hope and warmth was dashed when so many of the Order announced it "preposterous" and "impossible". Given her serious passion for her work and her deep adoration for werewolves on a whole, she was quick to put them in their places. Some were still very skeptical, but she shrugged off their uncertainties. She knew what the clans were capable of and she knew that she could control them. It was just a matter of gaining attention from certain clans, and for that she would need Darnell and Brighton.
Classes were becoming second nature to her, and Hermione quite liked teaching all that she knew to the students. The Marauders had informed her that her class was by far the school favorite and that most of the students really liked that she was so honest about what was happening outside of Hogwarts. She had been teaching the younger ones basic defense, but not treating them as though all they could do was hope to escape. Stunners and a few smaller spells were what she had them learning, in hopes that knowing a few small spells would keep them safe until the older students were around. The older students, however, were getting a much more rigorous and complicated set of spells to learn. She used her knowledge of what Harry had taught her and combined it with what she had learned over her years. She didn't get them anything too complicated but she was adamant on them learning the Patronus Charm, and eventually all of the Unforgivables.
While most of her students really enjoyed her class, they learned that acting up wasn't to be tolerated. Numerous Slytherins weren't so accepting of her after awhile, stating that she purposely went after them. She didn't believe she was being nicer to any House, she was simply giving out Detentions and taking away House points where she saw fit. It wasn't her fault if the Slytherins chose to fight with the Marauders or taunt younger years, or even have the audacity to use the one word she simply would not allow to be uttered. Mudblood. Yes, she'd heard Snape using it a number of times, mostly toward Lily Evans whenever she tried to defend him for getting the Marauders riled. The four boys were true to their word, basically, but they couldn't let Snape get away with mouthing them off and calling Lily names at every turn. Just the one boy had already lost a number of points for his House and gained a hefty amount of detentions too.
Just her luck, there was also a "Neville Longbottom" type in one of her classes too. His name, however, was Terry Bloomer, and he was a fifth year Hufflepuff that had a tendency to break everything he came in contact with. Most of his professors had given up hope of him ever becoming a successful student, but Hermione had made a vow that she would not just turn her back on him. He looked terribly upset with himself for not managing the easiest of spells and so she looked for help in others to bring him along. It was while she had her daily chat with the Marauders that she brought up the young boy.
They had made a habit of dropping into her class to see her and talk to her about whatever struck their fancy ever since the first day of school. She had to admit, she sometimes forgot that she was the professor and they were the students, they all seemed to get along so well. Even Lily showed up a few times a week, wanting to hear more about the Werewolf Project and get to know Hermione a little better. Aside from the one embarrassing and emotional show the first day, Hermione had quickly learned to cover her feelings and not tell them too much about what she knew. She kept her past locked up tight inside her, but still spoke to them about other things. She couldn't help but feel as though she was getting something Harry had always longed for though, just a few minutes with his parents. He would be proud of her though, he would certainly have backed her idea to change it all. Harry didn't deserve the life he led, and he should have been given the chance to live and love freely, without fear of being killed or losing those he cared for.
It was moments where she fell inside herself, got lost in her past and her memories, that everything seemed to swamp her in an endless sea of despair. Somehow though, the Marauders were able to bring her out of that darkness and keep her fighting for a better world. They'd made her laugh when it seemed the last thing on her mind, they'd cause a smile that felt foreign on her mouth after so long, and they'd truly brighten up the hollow life she felt she was living. It was seeing their faces, hearing their enjoyment of the world, and all around basking in the friendship they all had that reminded her that there was a better future out there. She had something to fight for, she had to remind herself of that. She may not have those she loved, the people she grew up would never be apart of her life like they had, but these people here could give all those she had a better existence.
James and Lily would give Harry a family, a real one that loved him dearly. Sirius would never be sent away to Azkaban, instead going on to live a full and joyful life. He would be a godfather to Harry, but never have to console the boy over his parents death. Remus would never have to deal with the loss of everything, but instead have his friends around him for the rest of his life. And perhaps one day he too would find love. Maybe Tonks would get the chance she had always wanted, Hermione didn't know and wasn't really sure if she really wanted to. Peter was someone else all together. She didn't know what to make of him. He was shy still, but he began opening up after awhile. He was in awe of his friends, that much was obvious. But sometimes he looked at them more as idols that best friends, and that worried Hermione.
It was a week before the full moon when Hermione brought up Terry Bloomer, and they were all lounging around her classroom. Her feet were bare and hanging off the edge of her desk, dangling back and forth as she read through a few essays from her third years, most of which were really quite badly written. Her hair was pulled up off her shoulders in a ponytail that left it hanging down her back in a heavy mass. She was dressed in Muggle attire, feeling overdressed in her robes whenever she had free time after classes. James and Sirius were tossing a Quaffle they had snagged from the Quidditch equipment room back and forth as they stood on top of desks, slowly gaining more space and trying to throw it so the other would fall off the desk. Remus was reading over some of his homework, his eyes roaming over the words of his textbook avidly. While Peter watched from atop one of the front desks, enjoying the show Sirius and James put on. Hermione had already warned them that if one of them got injured she wasn't going to take them to Madame Pomfrey but instead make them heal the Muggle way. And since Poppy was a friend now, she'd agree to let them suffer. They decided to take their chances anyway, not that surprising.
Hermione looked up from the essay's in her hands and looked around at the boys. Clearing her throat to get their attention, she said, "So... do any of you know of a boy named Terry Bloomer?" she queried.
Remus grimaced, lifting his head from his book. Peter snorted, shaking his head. While Sirius and James shot each other a look. "That's the voice, Padfoot!" James announced.
"Ah, yes, the 'I need a favor' voice we've all become so... fond of," Sirius replied, grinning.
Hermione sighed, rolling her eyes upward. "Honestly, he's not that bad. He's just a little... clumsy."
"Hermione, I don't think clumsy is the word. In fact, I think he's been sent by You-Know-Who!" Sirius told her, tossing the Quaffle back at James as hard as he could. James caught it, nearly toppling over backwards. Smirking, Sirius nodded and looked over at Hermione's incredulous expression. "Yeah, the dark bastard is trying to kill us all! So he covertly sends in a boy, and has him blow everything up. Slowly, of course, just to keep us on edge. Then, one day, BOOM! We're all dead and You-Know-Who has successfully destroyed some of the greatest wizards alive." He nodded with a dramatic sigh, "It's true. He wants to kill the Marauders, I swear."
Hermione laughed, quietly at first, and then she simply couldn't stop herself. She was holding her sides as she thought of it, little awkward Terry Bloomer working for Voldemort. It was really quite a sight. For the boy was as skinny as a rail and always tripping over the ends of his pants, which were far too long for him. He always looked disheveled and his glasses were always sliding down his crooked nose, nearly falling off the tip. He had bright orange hair and a pale but friendly face. He was so little that he didn't look to be thirteen and Hermione had to admit that sometimes she wanted to pat him on the head and tell him not to worry, because things would get better when he grew up. Waving her hands, she came down from her laughing, and smiled at Sirius. It felt nice to be a little free with emotions other than sadness every once in awhile. "While I think that would be a brilliant plan, in some ways, I don't believe little Terry has anything to do with Voldemort. And I do wish you boys would learn to use his name. There is no sense in calling him You-Know-Who, it just gives him more power. Fear in a name only makes him appear that much more cunning and powerful than you, and he's not!" she told them, shaking her head vehemently.
Remus nodded, before leaning forward and resting his chin on his palm. "What did you want to talk to us about Bloomer?" he wondered.
She twisted her hands and then hopped down from her seat on top of her desk. She was wearing billowy black flood pants that reached her knees, seeing as how the weather felt much too warm to wear full pants and she felt it would be even less professional to run around in shorts with the boys there. She had one of Remus' dress shirts on, in a flattering pale blue colour, the sleeves rolled up to her elbows and the last few buttons undone as it hung well down the middle of her thighs. Her pants seemed to be swishing around her legs as she walked and felt more like a skirt, which she didn't wear often. She stretched her arms up, her back sore from sitting for so long.
Coming up to the desk Remus was at, she leaned against the side of it. "Bloomer is a very nice boy who needs a little... encouragement from those who are much more advanced then him," she said, hoping to snare their interest with her thinly veiled compliments. "In fact, with a little help from the brilliant Marauders, I bet he'll be in the top of his class and completely charming, without one little accident at all," she claimed, though it was likely going to take awhile for him to get there.
"Well, obviously," Sirius said, grinning as he took a great bow. Smirking, he hopped down from the desk he standing on and walked over to her. "Why don't you just teach him?"
"Because I have enough to do as it is. I'm working with Dumbledore, teaching classes all day long, getting ready for the full moon, and spending all my free time with you lot. Oh the injustice, where is a little time for me?" she kidded, smiling.
James shook his head, coming over with the Quaffle under his arm. "Without us coming around, you'd be holed up in this classroom all day long. Marking papers and reading boring essays for hours on end. You'd become dreadfully dreary and you know it!" He winked, "You should thank us."
"I'll thank you after you do me this favor and tutor little Terry for awhile. He's really just in need of some attention from someone, I think he's uncomfortable. He's young and has very few friends, but he's such a nice little guy."
"You really have to stop calling him 'Little Terry'," Sirius told her, shaking his head. "He's thirteen, that's got to be damaging to his reputation."
"You mean his reputation of blowing everything he touches up and being an all around menace to nearly everyone without even meaning to?" Remus spoke up, his brow lifting with question.
"Yes, that would be the one," Sirius agreed, nodding. "But, com'on, how many blokes are going to want to be hanging around a boy who's referred to as 'Little Terry.' I wouldn't." He shrugged his shoulders, "Of course, now it seems I'm going to have to," he muttered on a sigh.
Hermione grinned, her eyes sparkling. "So you'll do it then? You'll tutor him a bit and perk up his self esteem? Honestly, I think him being seen around with the likes of you guys might actually make him look better to his peers. He'll become more known, more comfortable. It'll be good for him."
Remus chuckled, "You can stop complimenting us, we've already agreed."
"Oh, but I do mean what I'm saying," she told them hurriedly. "I think we all know that you're incredibly popular around here. It must be your good looks, because really it's the only wonderful trait all of you carry," she kidded. They all seemed to blush at her praise, Remus more so than James or Sirius, but Peter most of all. Hermione chuckled at their sudden boyish act of being awkward. "I'm certainly not the first to tell you, I'm sure."
"Of course not," Sirius exclaimed, shaking his head. "'Course you're the first woman to tell us, besides our mums of course." He winked at her, "Not that I don't like the attention, from such a fetching woman as yourself," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.
Hermione chortled, shaking her head. "Shouldn't you be after someone your own age?" she queried, lifting her brow. "Or is it too hard to pick from the masses of girls throwing themselves your way?" she wondered.
"I like to keep my options open," he told her, shrugging it off easily.
"How old were you when you met your husband?" James asked, hopping up onto the desk to sit beside Remus' homework.
"Actually," she said, clearing her throat. "I was nearly fourteen when I first met him, but I didn't fall in love with him until I was about nineteen. We married within the year and were together for four years after that."
"Thirteen," Sirius whistled, his eyes wide. "Did you like him then too?"
"No," she said, her cheeks tinging with a blush. "No, he was... older than me, actually. I wasn't much interested in dating when I was thirteen. I started the next year though, a nice boy from a different school. He was seventeen and a big Quidditch star, had all the girls running after him." She smiled lightly as she thought about Viktor Krum and fourth year. "I had no idea why he liked me, I wasn't what you'd call a beauty." They stared at her with rather shocked faces and she couldn't understand why. "Anyway, I didn't see my later-to-be husband very often from when I was fourteen until I was nineteen, he was always working undercover and outside of the school. It wasn't until I was done school and we started seeing each other regularly because of the Werewolf Project that we became closer."
"When you say older..." Sirius said, looking at her with amused and curious eyes.
She cleared her throat, "Well..." She blushed again, feeling as though they might not understand. "In my third year, when I first met him, he was actually my DADA professor," she admitted.
"Really?" Sirius asked, sounding rather excited.
She rolled her eyes at him, "Yes, he was. I found out he was a werewolf early on but I didn't tell anybody about it. He was a brilliant professor, but because he was a werewolf he would eventually be taken out of his teaching position. So he quit before they could fire him, and he continued to work undercover against Voldemort. I'd see him occasionally through the next few years, but we were never really close or anything. And then when I graduated I started seeing him a whole lot more, and the Project just sort of cemented everything." She nodded, thinking back to how he was when they first started noticing they liked each other. He was rather awkward, like a young boy with a crush.
"I would never expect it," James said, shaking his head but smiling all the same. "So how much older than you was he?" he wondered, staring at her expectantly.
"Why does that matter?" she wondered, her eyes looking away. "Age was never really an interest to either of us."
"If he was teaching in your third year, he had to be at least ten years older than you. You're the youngest DADA teacher in history, so..." Sirius trailed off, his head tipped in thought.
"Twenty years," she admitted, deciding not to wait and draw it out. "He was twenty years older than me."
"Wow," James said, his eyes wide.
She nodded, "You wouldn't really know it though. He was very handsome and the nicest man I knew, really. He had a young heart and a wonderful sense of humor. He'd seen a lot in his life, lived through a great deal of despair. But, when we were together, he seemed much younger than he was. He felt younger, looked younger, acted younger." She shook her head, her eyes shimmering, "I never much cared for numbers, because he was quite simply the only man I could ever love." She felt a hand cover hers and looked down to see that Remus' palm was pressed over her hand, warm and comforting. Sniffling, she smiled down at him in gratitude, momentarily caught up in the amber gaze that met hers. He really was just like her husband, saying so much with a touch rather than words.
"Tell us more about him," Sirius asked, looking quite curious.
"What would you like to know?" she asked, turning to him.
"Anything really," he said with a shrug. "I'm interested in knowing what kind of bloke managed to catch someone like you." He paused, his cheeks stained with a tinge of red. "I mean, quite honestly, I think... I think I'd like to find someone like you."
She stared at him in confusion, not entirely understanding what he meant. Her brow furrowed. "Someone like me?"
"Yeah," he said, nodding. "You know, courageous, loyal, smart, funny, friendly..." He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "All the girls I know, they're kind of... well, they're all more interested in boys, make up, clothes, blood purity, money, blah blah blah." He shook his head, "You're the only woman I know who has any real substance. I was just sort of thinking that... maybe if I knew someone more like you, I might want more than just a..."
"Quick snog in a broom closet," Hermione filled in, smiling understandingly. He nodded, letting out a soft chuckle. "Well, perhaps the girls you know have more substance than they're showing you. I've noticed with a lot of girls, when they like someone, they get dolled up and they act a little... air headed," she said, chortling. "It's a common occurrence for women to be worried that boys aren't going to like them if they're smarter or quicker or anything better than boys. So they dumb themselves down in hopes that a cute boy will like them and not be intimidated."
"Lily's not like that," James jumped in.
"No, she's not," Hermione agreed. "Because she's comfortable enough in her own skin not to lower herself. She does have a tendency of reacting with anger when she likes someone though," she reminded pointedly.
James didn't understand her meaning and immediately looked annoyed. "Why? Who does she like? What have you seen?" he asked, crossing his arms and glaring.
Sirius laughed, reaching out and clapping him on the shoulder. "You, ya big dolt!" All of the bluster ran out of James and he grinned in a happy daze, looking as though Christmas had come early.
"Did you act like those girls did when you started liking your husband?" Remus asked her, looking up at her curiously. He looked sort of uncomfortable, like he didn't want to talk about the subject at hand and Hermione had no idea why it bothered him.
"Oh no," she said, shaking her head. "No, I hated make up and dressing up. In fact, my husband had already seen me at my worst, so I figured there was no point in trying to be something I wasn't. I dressed like I always dressed, talked like I always did. He knew I loved reading and learning, he was just the same. I didn't pretend to be someone I wasn't and I never expected him to act like anything but himself. Open honesty, that's the way it should be," she told him, nodding. He smiled lightly, his eyes falling in thought. Hermione was curious as to what he was thinking about but didn't ask.
"Did it ever bother you? His being a werewolf?" Remus wondered, his expression one of mild worry.
"In my third year it did scare me, but only because there was a bit of a scuffle one night. You see, he had been caught off guard by the full moon, too busy that day to remember what would happen that night. Me, Harry, and our other best friend Ron were nearby, along with a particularly nasty professor who just hated my husband at the time. The transformation sort of took him by surprise and while trying to keep him from attacking some of my friends, me and Harry lured him away. We howled to get his attention and he ended up chasing us into the forest." She bit her lip for a moment, "Actually, it could have ended quite badly had the Hippogriff that was hiding in the forest not come out and scared him off. I never feared him before that and after that night, I'll admit for awhile I was a little wary of werewolves. But, when we started the program, I had complete faith in him."
Remus stared at her with that same expression of awe he so often got. "Let me get this straight. He attacked and could have killed you once, but you had complete faith in him anyway? He was ready to kill you, your friends, and a professor, and you lured him away into the dark woods, thinking nothing of your own safety?" He shook his head at her, "Really now, how are you alive?" he wondered.
Hermione laughed, "I've often wondered that myself." She shrugged, shaking her head. "Back in my third year, oh you should have seen it, really. He was fighting it, he really was. He didn't want to change, I could see that he was fighting with the wolf inside so he wouldn't attack us either. But... at that time the fear was too much and the other professor was already getting ready to attack him, possibly even kill him. Harry and I lured him away to save everybody, us and him. He couldn't control what had happened and he was incredibly upset over it when he woke up the next day." She frowned, "And when I proposed the project he was very wary, he didn't want to take the chance of hurting me. But in the end, everything turned out fine."
"Sometimes, I wonder if you're courageous or just plain nutters," Sirius told her, smirking.
"I've been told that before," she said, smiling. "In any case, my advice to you, Sirius, is to get to know a girl away from the other girls. Don't introduce yourself right away, just sort of see what she's like when she's not around others. You'll see the real her. It won't be an act, it'll be a natural way of things for her. Then, if you decide you'd like to get to know her better, go up to her when there isn't an audience, it'll be more real and she won't feel as if she has to act a certain way. Try a few dates, nothing serious, but nothing too indifferent either. And that is how you find a girl who isn't superficial or unworthy of your attention." She nodded, feeling quite good about her response. She turned to James then, "How are things coming with Lily?" she wondered.
"Same as always, unfortunately," he told her, sighing. "I just don't get it," he cried with exasperation, shaking his head and frowning.
Hermione chewed her bottom lip, wondering if she should interfere. Perhaps just a little friendly advice couldn't hurt. "Ease down on the big gestures, James. Crowds and attention aren't something Lily likes. She's more down to earth. And you're quite theatrical and dramatic, I must say, so she likely thinks you're just putting on a show and that you don't really like her." She shrugged, "Don't worry, she'll come around."
He nodded, still frowning lightly.
She turned to Peter, "What about you? How are you on the female front, apparently I'm handing out advice to everyone today," she kidded.
"Oh... um... well I like a girl, but I don't... I don't think she likes me back," he admitted, shrinking away.
"I didn't know you liked anyone, Wormtail, who is it?" James said, leaning back and looking over at him questioningly.
"Is it a Hufflepuff?" Sirius asked, wrinkling his nose with distaste. "It's not Lavin, is it? Jessica Lavin, that know-it-all Ravenclaw."
"Must you call everybody some sort of name?" Hermione asked him, rolling her eyes.
"Of course, it helps distinguish who I'm talking about," he replied, grinning.
"Know-it-all Ravenclaw, that's not very definitive," she told him, shaking her head.
James laughed, "You realize you just basically insulted the entire Ravenclaw House."
Hermione blushed lightly, huffing her irritation at her own folly. "You know what I mean," she mumbled.
"It's not Lavin," Peter told him, frowning before he turned to Hermione. "She's, well, she's older than me. She works in Hogsmeade. She's just a year or two older and she has a job at one of the shops there. She's really nice and pretty, but she treats me like every other bloke in the store. I don't know how to... er... get her attention," he admitted.
Hermione thought it was, perhaps the most he'd ever said to her. "Have you ever tried starting a conversation with her?" she asked. He shook his head, looking embarrassed. "Well, it's a possibility that wherever she works she has an interest in. Like if she works at the book store, she most likely loves reading and books. So, pick something that has to do with the store and strike up a conversation. It'll center you out from the other customers. Don't do it when it's busy, because then she'll just think you're getting in the way. Just... ease into it. Don't bombard her with questions or ask her out on a date right away. Let her get to know your face, come by and see her every once in awhile. I guarantee, in a short while she'll start noticing you," she assured.
"Thanks," he said, smiling brightly.
She nodded, turning her attention down to Remus and swallowing rather thickly. She didn't want to ask, because honestly she had never wondered much about who Remus had been seeing when he was younger. She knew only about Tonks in his recent years during her time, but he had never actually gone out with the Metamorphmagus. Aside from her, Hermione had never thought to question him on anybody he might have liked when he was younger. She did remember him saying once though, when talking about his younger years, that he had never fallen in love. She pondered his words, his voice echoing in her ears, clear and deep. It gave her shivers as she thought about how his voice always felt like a caress against her skin. Her eyes closed and she envisioned the moment as if it were happening again.
"When I was growing up, I never let anybody in. I never let love in. Not unless it had to do with my friends. I kept James and Sirius close. They were the closest thing I really had to family. I should have paid more attention to Peter, I suppose, but... Back then, I sometimes lost myself in the world Sirius and James created. It was as if... as if the world was new to me and I was untouchable," he told her, his eyes reminiscent and glazed over with memories. She waited for him to finish, watching as the emotions flitted across his handsome face. He let out a soft sigh, turning his eyes back to her and returning his mind to the present. He reached out, trailing his forefinger down the side of his face, slow and gentle as he stared into her eyes with obvious ardor. "Now though, I have you. I wish I had known you then, Hermione. I think, if anyone could've made a cautious Marauder werewolf fall in love, it would've been you." He shook his head, staring at her with shining adoration in his amber eyes. "I love you, Hermione Jane Lupin, and I wouldn't have it any other way."
"Hermione," a voice called, dragging her away from her thoughts.
Hermione's eyes opened and she blinked quickly, remembering who was around her. Clearing her throat, she gave them a soft smile. "Sorry, I was just caught up in my memory there for a moment."
Sirius nodded before turning to Remus and smirking. "Well, since you've given advice to the rest of us, why not pass some on to our fourth," he said nodding to the werewolf Marauder who had ducked his head.
"D'you like someone too then, Remus?" she wondered, her voice much more steady than her heart. Could she possibly handle seeing him with somebody else? It was asking a lot of her, and the simple idea of knowing her husband was with anybody else was just plain heart wrenching. Even if this Remus wasn't exactly her Remus, it still hurt to think of.
He shook his head quickly, his eyes downcast, but Sirius answered for him. "Sure he does. She's older than him though. He doesn't like to talk about it, but she's the first woman to really accept him as a werewolf."
"Oh, so you told her?" Hermione asked, looking down at him and hoping to catch his eyes, though they were diligently darting away from her gaze.
"Actually, she figured it out on her own," Sirius told her.
"Oh," Hermione said, nodding. "Well then, what's the problem exactly?"
"She's--"
"Guys," Remus interrupted, his voice steady and warning. He looked over at Hermione, looking sort of worried and uncomfortable. "It's nothing really. I don't want to talk about it."
She nodded slowly, feeling sort of relieved. "All right. Well, if you ever want to, you know where I am," she offered, shrugging lightly.
He nodded and then turned his gaze away.
It wasn't long after that the boys took their leave, promising that they'd check in on Terry Bloomer and give him a little assistance in the schooling area. Hermione went back to grading essays and getting the next day's classes ready for the students. Most nights she met Dumbledore for tea and talked about what was going on outside of the school. Her calendar had yet to inform her of anything, though she checked it numerous times a day. Albus told her not to think on it too much, otherwise she'd worry herself into a mess, but she couldn't help it. When she wasn't doing something to help, she felt as though she was useless. Time seemed to be going by without her knowledge and soon enough it was the day of the full moon.
Hermione stood in front of her Seventh year Gryffindor and Slytherin class, explaining to them a few of the more damaging hexes and curses she knew. She had transfigured a book into a dummy to show the effects of each spell and the class was sitting forward with avid fascination. It was just as she had finished using the Diffindo charm that the doors burst open and a familiar face came hurrying in, panting and looking very worried. Hermione turned to him, her wand still in hand and her expression one of surprise. The Marauders were staring at him suspiciously, three of them had their hands readily on their wands as if waiting for him to attack. Hermione lifted her hand at them to tell them it was all right and they shouldn't be worried.
She opened her mouth to tell him that class was ending in just a few short minutes and she would talk to him then, but Brighton beat her to the punch. "I made a mistake," he told her, shaking his head and trying to breathe but only managing to slow himself down from talking. "I-I thought that what you offered wasn't possible. My whole life, every single day, I was told that I was a m-monster. And I believed it. I mean, once a month I turn into something that very few do. And if you could see peoples faces when you talk about it. If you could feel what I feel whenever it's brought up, then you would know what it's like to live with it." He waved his arms around and shook his head, "So many think I should die because of it, and so many times I thought I should! I should die, because I'm not worthy of living. I'm not worthy of doing what you told me I should do. Become a great person, live a good life. It just wasn't possible. And then you were there and you were telling me I could have it. And I-I never believed it, I thought... I thought maybe you were just feeding me this fanciful dream and one day I would wake up and I'd be back in that cell and I'd know that my life truly was over." He panted, tears coming to his eyes and he clenched his jaw. The bell rang in the background but not one student moved.
"That book you gave me, the one filled with all those things Buddha said. I read it. I read it five times. I couldn't believe it. I mean, everything he said, everything he believed. I just..." His eyes darted around before he balled his fists up by his side and said, "No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path." He smiled, though it was shaking and tears had spilled down his face, "You told me that when I had chosen my path, when I knew which way I wanted to go, you'd be there to help me. I know I'm not the best student, and I've already messed up more times than I can count. But... But I don't want to be an outsider anymore. I don't want to see them staring at me in fear, and... And you're the only one who's ever thought I could be anything more than a monster in a humans body twenty-nine days of the month," he told her, his voice quivering. "I..." He swallowed audibly, "Will you help me?" he asked quietly.
Hermione stood, tears falling down her cheeks and finally smiled. "Of course I will, Brighton." She stepped forward, reaching out and placing her hand on his shoulder. "And you are not a monster, I won't let you think that," she told him sternly.
He laughed, strangled at first, but then loud and happy. He reached out, wrapping her in a hug, and sobbing his thanks against her shoulder. Hermione patted his back, holding him as he cried out his feelings of inadequacy. He was much taller than her, so it was rather awkward trying to hold him, but she did it anyway. She motioned to the other students in the class to leave, it being lunch time now. Most of them did, though at a snail's pace, all of them wondering about what had just happened. The Marauders and Lily stayed however, all of them silent and waiting. When Brighton had finally calmed down, he apologized for his sudden display and pulled back, wiping his face quickly and clearing his throat a few times. She patted his arm and then turned to the other boys.
"Brighton, these are a few friends of mine." She motioned to the Marauders, pointing to each as she listed their name, "That's Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter. And this girl here is Lily," she said, motioning to the curious red head near her. "Uh, the boys will be joining us tonight. Remus," she said, motioning to him again, "also has a love-hate relationship with the full moon," she told him, smiling.
Sirius shrugged, digging in his pocket and pulling out a couple coins before he tossed them to James. "I really didn't think he'd show."
"When has Hermione ever been wrong!" James replied, grinning as he pocketed the money.
"You bet on it?" Lily cried, her eyes wide.
"Of course," Sirius replied, smirking.
She huffed, shaking her head in exasperation. "Really, when are you guys going to grow up?" she wondered, glaring before she turned away and looked over at the new boy. "Nice to meet you, Brighton," she said, holding out her hand for him to shake.
He glanced at Hermione, as if checking with her to see if it was all right. She nodded at him and smiled as he reached out and shook her hand in a loose grip, obviously worried he might exert too much strength and harm her. He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly looking very nervous in front of so many people he didn't know. "Uh, so if only one of them is a werewolf, why are the others coming?" he wondered, his voice low.
"They're my friends," Remus replied, staring at the boy in a rather critical manner. "They always come out on the full moon with me."
"How do they manage to keep themselves safe?" Brighton asked him skeptically.
"We're unregistered animagi," Sirius boasted, grinning.
"I've been meaning to talk to you all about that," Hermione said, her eyes thinning. "I really think you should all go register at the Ministry."
Sirius sighed dramatically, falling across his desk and throwing his arms out wide. "But I don't want to," he whined.
James laughed, "Yeah, it takes all the fun out of it," he told Hermione, smiling.
"But it's such a feat, really I think a lot of people would be quite astounded by your mastering the skill at such a young age," Hermione told them, shaking her head. She turned to Brighton, "They learned it back in their third or fourth year. They wanted to be with Remus when he changed, so they took precautions. Werewolves aren't scared of other animals, just humans. So they simply play with them, rather than attack and hurt them. Not unless provoked anyway."
Brighton nodded slowly, "I've never had human friends," he admitted, shrugging. "I stuck to my pack, it was safer."
Hermione smiled lightly at him, "Well that's about to change." She turned to Remus, wondering why he looked so disgruntled. "Are you going to be coming by to get the potion after class, or do you want it now?" she asked him. He shrugged, his eyes not meeting hers. She sighed, deciding that she needed to talk to him about whatever it was bothering him. It could just be the full moon, she thought, but she felt as though it was something else. Turning to Brighton, she offered, "Why don't you make yourself comfortable? I'm going to talk to Albus about seeing if you can have a room here, and we'll see about getting you something to eat, all right?" He nodded at her, glancing at the others warily. "It's okay, Sirius and James won't bite. Peter is quite shy and Lily is very friendly."
"What about Remus?" he asked, his voice quiet so as not to let them hear.
"I do bite," Remus replied, obviously having heard the conversation. He shot a glare at the boy and then turned away again.
Hermione sighed, "No, he doesn't. Don't worry about him. Just sit down, I'll be right back." Without waiting for his reply, she crossed the room and gave Remus a look before walking toward the stairs leading to the office. Hearing a sigh behind her and then echoing footsteps, she knew he had followed just as expected of him. She frowned at Sirius as he made a noise to mock Remus' being forced to talk to her in private. She checked on Brighton, seeing him sit down at one of the desks, placing his side bag, which she was sure was filled with what little he had, on the chair beside him. Sure that he would be fine in the care of the three remaining Marauders, at least while Lily was there, she opened the door to her office and walked inside. It closed behind Remus and instead of sitting down, he roamed around the room, examining the area so as not to look at her. "D'you want to tell me what's bothering you?" she wondered.
He shrugged, not turning to to see her.
"Is it Brighton? Does it bother you that you'll be working with other werewolves?" she asked, watching his broad back as he shrugged his shoulders again. "Remus, I can't help you if you don't talk to me."
He sighed, turning around slowly and crossing his arms in a way that told her he wasn't comfortable sharing his thoughts or feelings. "I don't know. I just... I don't really like him."
Hermione shook her head slowly, "You don't even know him yet."
Walking over to the chairs in front of her desk, he sat down, his eyes turned away. "I know," he said, sighing as he rubbed at his eyes. "What I mean is... the wolf doesn't really like him. It's acting up and it- it doesn't really like it when he's around..." He mumbled the last word so she didn't catch it.
"Around what?" she asked, her brow furrowing.
"You," he clarified, looking away. "Maybe it's that whole protector thing you did, I don't know." He swallowed, his knee jumping anxiously as he stared up at a bookcase. He rubbed at his jaw, licking his lips occasionally. "Do I have to work with him? Couldn't I just... Isn't there another way?" he asked hopefully.
"No," she told him, sitting forward. "I understand that it bothers you, or the wolf, or whichever. It's a natural reaction. Werewolves are very possessive, Remus. You're not going to like your friends getting close to others. You won't like it when guys stand close to your girlfriend. And, I guess you see me as a mentor, or someone who will keep you safe and offer you shelter. So you're naturally very possessive of me. It's all right to feel that way," she assured.
"Was your, uh, husband, was he bothered when the other werewolves got around you?" he wondered, turning to look at her briefly before turning his eyes down.
She smiled, nodding. "Yes, he was very jealous. For the longest time he wouldn't allow any of the other werewolves within ten feet of me. It took some calming down, but he eventually allowed the others near. He kept very close to me though. And even outside of his form, he was always quite protective of me. He had a tendency of growling at males," she admitted with a soft laugh. "Even those I considered brothers or best friends." She nodded, her eyes turning off as she thought back to how he would loop his arms around her when males entered the room they were in. Or wrap his arm around her waist as they walked down a street and men would pass them by. There were a few times that he didn't even realize he was growling at Fred and George when they had hugged her on her special occasions.
Shaking her head, she turned her attention back to the Remus in front of her. "It's all right though, I want you to remember that. You have nothing to fear about Brighton. He's just another werewolf in need of the same thing you are." Standing up, she rounded her desk and sat down in the chair beside him. Reaching out, she placed her hand on top of his which was trying to still his jumping knee. "Remember Remus, you are one of my top concerns. I'm always going to be here for you. I'll always be around when you need me. I'm not going anywhere and nobody else is going to take my attention away from you." She reached out, brushing his fringe from away from his eyes, "All right?"
He nodded, his jaw clenched tight as he turned to her. His eyes were a little glossy and she realized that he likely was quite scared that he might lose her. "He was right, you know," he said, his voice shaking.
"About what?" she wondered, her eyes questioning.
"You're the only one who really looks at our kind and doesn't see a monster. You're the only one who really thinks you can make a difference. And you don't see us as an experiment, but as people who deserve a real life." He shook his head, letting out a quivering sigh. "You don't have any idea of what that means to people like me. You don't know what it's like to live with the idea that you'll never be accepted, only to have your wildest dreams come true." He swallowed, biting his lip for a moment and blinking his eyes furiously. "You give people hope, Hermione. You instill hope."
Hermione's breath caught, remembering how her husband had said something so very similar. Her eyes filled and her stomach clenched. She had to be careful, had to remember that this boy in front of her was not her Remus. One day he might look exactly like her husband, he may even act just like him, sound like him, and be exactly like him. But he would never be her Remus, she had given up that right. He would live a life void of Hermione Lupin. He would find love in another, raise a family, and enjoy a world free of what she had witnessed. And she wanted that for him, she truly did. She just never expected that perhaps she would want this Remus to want her like her Remus had. It was foolish and wrong. She couldn't put that sort of weight on him. He was just seventeen years old, with a whole world ahead of him. She would get in the way.
She promised herself then, that when her duty was done, when she had defeated Voldemort and changed the world for the better, she would let Remus go. She would walk away from him and all the Marauders. She would let them live their lives as they should and she would go off somewhere else, far away from what she knew. She would check in on them, of course. Perhaps learn of how they were doing through Dumbledore. But she would not interfere in the natural course of things. It wasn't her place. She had already changed so much, she couldn't design their lives for them. She would have her hands full for years to come anyway. What with Jacques in a few years and her werewolf clans to teach and direct in future. Yes, she would have a full life. Even if it didn't have those she loved in it. She was giving them something far better than just her. She was giving them freedom and security. There was no price for that.
"You think too much of me, Remus," she told him, her knuckles unconsciously running down his cheek in an affectionate way. "I'm just a person too. I'm not anything special."
He sighed, shaking his head. "No, you are. You just don't know you are," he told her, turning to smile at her lightly.
"Come on," she told him, rising from her seat. "I'm going to introduce you to Brighton, and this time you're not going to scare him, all right?" she told him, looking up at him expectantly.
"I didn't scare him," he replied, smirking devilishly.
"You came close to it. Poor guy isn't used to being so vulnerable. Surrounded by people who just learned he was a werewolf and only seconds after he blurted out such a heartfelt spiel." She shook her head. "I really think you two will get along. Will you please give him a chance?" she asked, her brows raising with her plea.
Remus sighed, but nodded all the same. "Fine. But I can't promise that the werewolf in me is going to be at all accepting," he warned.
She nodded, "I know." Walking to the door, she glanced back at him, "You're feeling all right now though?"
"Yeah," he told her, bowing his head momentarily. "Was it really obvious? I didn't mean to react harshly." He shifted on his feet, looking worried.
"I'm sure I was the only one who noticed," she reassured, reaching out and patting his arm. "Besides Brighton and well, Sirius. James was paying all of his attention to Lily though, so I'm sure he didn't see a thing. And Peter was... well to be honest I don't know what that boy is doing half the time," she said, shaking her head and rolling her eyes upward.
Chuckling, Remus opened the door and waited for her to walk through it. She looked back at him as he followed her out and then walked down the stairs. She could see Brighton and Sirius arm wrestling at one of the desk. "Sirius, what are you doing?" she asked, sounding mildly exasperated.
"Just checking to see if he's as strong as Remus," he replied, sounding very short of breath.
Hermione looked at Brighton, to see him grinning and looking as though he hadn't a care in the world. He was holding Sirius' hand in the center, not even making the move to drop him. He was purposely letting Sirius hold him up, watching in amusement as the boy broke out in a sweat but wouldn't give in. Shaking her head, she walked over to them, her brow lifting. "Sirius, did you honestly think you had any chance at winning?" she asked.
"Way to kill a man's ego, 'Mione," he growled, still exerting himself in trying to force the werewolf's hand down.
"Well really, what did you want me to do?" she replied, frowning. "While you are a strong human boy, there is no contest when you put yourself up against werewolves. I've tested their strength, he's at least three times stronger than you could ever think to be."
"Just keep stepping on my ego, it's really helping," Sirius told her through grit teeth. "No respect, no respect at all," he muttered, sounding amused.
"Brighton, please end it before he passes out," Hermione asked, looking over at the smiling boy. He gave her a nod and then with little effort at all, moved his arm and pinned Sirius' hand to the desk top.
Panting, Sirius wiped his face clean with his shirt, showing off his bare stomach for all to see. "I had him!" he announced, letting his shirt fall and nodding his head as everyone laughed.
Hermione patted his shoulder in consolation and then turned around to the others. "You should all head off to lunch now," she reminded, motioning to the time. "I have to bring Brighton up to see Albus." She turned back to Remus, "Potion now or later?" she queried.
"Later," he told her, moving to his desk to pick up his books. "We'll meet you here after class."
"See ya later, Professor G," James called out, sidling up next to Lily and smiling adoringly at her.
Peter followed him out, waving goodbye to Hermione.
Sirius grabbed his books and clapped Brighton on the back. "Rematch!" he told him before turning to wink at Hermione. "Farewell 'Mione," he said, giving a dramatic bow and walking out the door backwards. Shaking her head at him, she chuckled softly.
Remus walked from his desk slowly, his books in hand. He glanced at Hermione once and then turned to Brighton. "Sorry about earlier, I'm not the nicest bloke this time of the month."
"No, I get it. I'm not usually such a sap," Brighton replied, shrugging.
Remus chuckled, nodding. "Well, uh, I guess I'll see ya later." He turned to walk away, but then stopped. "You said you liked Buddha earlier," he mentioned, shifting his weight to the other foot. "I've read up on him. I actually have a book of the most influential quotes in history. If you want to borrow it sometime," he offered, glancing at Hermione quickly. She smiled at him encouragingly, holding her breath in hopes that this Remus and Brighton would get along as well as her Remus and Brighton had.
"Yeah, that'd be great," Brighton responded, grinning.
Remus nodded, "Okay, I'll drop it off tomorrow then." He backed up, turned to Hermione and smiled. Giving her a farewell nod, he waved at Brighton and then left the classroom.
"He seems nice," Brighton told her. "They all do."
"They are," Hermione assured, motioning for him to follow her. "We'll try Albus' office first. If he isn't there, then we'll drop by the Great Hall." He nodded, standing up and grabbing his book bag to follow her out. Brighton was silent as they walked, his eyes roaming the school around him. Hermione fell into her own thoughts as they made their way to the Headmaster's office.
Things were slowly turning out for her. She still had her worries about just how much good she could do for what she considered the past, but she was starting to feel as though she was making a difference. Brighton was already taking an interest in the wisdom of the greatest minds, Remus and the other Marauders were settling into the idea of him becoming controlled quite well, and Hermione found she was becoming a very good professor. The coming night would be her first try at teaching two werewolves in a time that wasn't her own. She had high hopes that it would turn out well and was almost certain that she could make a difference here with her program just like she had in her own time. Things would get harder as the days wore on, the world would darken, and Voldemort would rear his ugly head, taking many people down in the process. But Hermione would meet him head on, she wouldn't let him destroy those that she cared for, not again. Whatever it cost, whatever the price of a good future for those that truly deserved it, she would pay. Tenfold, if needed. It was her journey, her goal, her life's work. Remus had believed in her and she would not let him down. Not again.
A/N Sorry for the late update. The site wasn't sending out alerts so I thought it was rather pointless and decided to wait until I was sure everything was caught up. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I have a new HHr two-shot, already completed with the first part up. It's called, "He Could Always Read Her," so you check it out if you like the ship and have the time. I'll update, "Secret Life," soon! I'm working on getting a new chapter of, "Growing," out and BITTT, too. Bear with me:D If you haven't already, you should check out the images on my profile page that go with this story and various others. There're banners and chapter images:D
Big hugs and huge thanks to everyone who sent me Happy Birthdays via reviews, PM's, and comments on my MySpace page! -grins happily-
Thanks for reading, please review! It's very appreciated.
Much Love,
-Amanda