A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for those of you who already tried to read this chapter and realized that I put in Dana again...I named my document differently than I meant to, so I uploaded the wrong one. Thanks for telling me! Here's the real chapter...sorry for the mix-up!

I didn't dislike Olivia from the day I met her, but it didn't take me long to realize that I had competition for my husband's attention. In fact, I saw that it wouldn't even be a competition. A large piece of his heart was lost to her from the first case they worked together.

I remember that case. It was Olivia's first one with SVU, but Elliot had been there for years already. So you'd think it would have been Olivia who lost it, but the victim was a little girl about Lizzie's age who was, as far as I could tell from Elliot's circumlocution, tortured and raped. He wouldn't say a word to me about it when he came home, even though I could tell he was upset.

He almost cried when Lizzie asked him to pass the bread at dinner. He just stared at her for a few seconds, leaving her looking between the rest of us, wondering what was wrong, before he gave her a roll. He then went around and hugged each of the kids and left the table without a word. The kids are used to his random displays of affection, and they know basically why he acts that way, but that was one of the most extreme incidents in a while.

Anyway, after dinner I was clearing up the kitchen and I heard Elliot's phone ring. I closed my eyes, thinking that he would be called back to work and would come back hours later, angrier than ever. My heart sank, as always, when I heard him say, "Stabler."

I soon realized it wasn't Captain Cragen. I decided it had to be his new partner, a woman I knew nothing about. "How are you holding up?" he asked her. He paused as she responded, and then he sighed. "I'll be alright," he said in the same tone he used with me…his 'I'm not going to talk about it so stop asking' voice. But then the real shock came. I almost dropped the plate I was holding. He actually talked to her.

I don't know what she said to make him open up, but the fact that anything she said could have that effect on him, so soon…I couldn't take it.

"I just…God, this one got to me…. Well, you know I told you I have four kids…the vic reminded me of my youngest daughter." His voice cracked slightly.

I didn't realize I had stopped any pretense of working until I looked at the clock and realized Elliot had been listening in silence for two minutes. He finally said, "Thanks, Olivia. See you tomorrow."

Olivia. The name that came to drive me into panic, the name of the woman I feared taking my place. The name of the woman who did.

After hearing that phone call, I didn't hate her. I actually was mad at myself for not being enough for Elliot. I could never comfort him like that. He wouldn't let me. Something about her was different than me…better than me.

I tried to get some information about Olivia out of Elliot that night, but he wouldn't say much. Of course, he didn't know much about her at that point, but I couldn't stop myself from fearing that I was losing him to her. It seems premature of me to be worrying about that after they knew each other less than twenty-four hours, and to this day I don't know if it was paranoia or foresight. Either way, my fear came true.

I didn't meet her for a few months, not until a charity function most of the NYPD was attending. I was immediately struck by how beautiful she was, but even that didn't make me hate her…I am slightly more mature than that. I hated her because of how she acted. She was so kind, and so polite…she told me what an amazing man I was married to, and I agreed with her. She listened to our stories about the kids; she was, all in all, a very pleasant person. But she had this way of touching Elliot's arm, brushing his hand with hers, that made me want to throttle her. I knew she wasn't doing it to spite me…it was completely innocent as far as she was concerned, but I noticed, even if she didn't, the way Elliot's eyes lingered on her.

That night Elliot and I had our first of many fights about Olivia.

Over the years, Olivia would get Elliot to talk to her time and time again when he was completely shutting me out. She took on the role of his wife, at least in the area of emotional support. Sometimes I wondered if they were having an affair, but even that thought wasn't what drove me to leave Elliot.

One night about a year before I left, I came in through the front door after dropping Dickie off at a friend's house. All of the kids were out, and I thought Elliot would be too because he hadn't been home in days. They were working a really tough serial case, and the one time I talked to Elliot on the phone he sounded physically exhausted and mentally on the edge of a breakdown. I was worried about him, and more worried about what I could possibly say to make it better.

I heard a soft voice in the living room…a woman's voice. At first my temper flared and I was prepared to dart in and catch Elliot in the act of cheating on me, but then I realized he was crying. Elliot was crying. He had never let me see him that upset. I'd heard him cry before, but he always pulled himself together the second he realized I was there. He would never let down the wall around me.

It broke my heart to hear him so upset, but what hurt more was realizing that Olivia could give him everything he needed…everything I couldn't.

I glanced through the doorway into the room and saw Olivia sitting on the couch, her arms wrapped around Elliot. He was sobbing into her chest, clutching her arms like they were the only things holding him to life. She was telling him it would be ok, and she kissed the top of his head every few seconds.

I backed away, feeling like I was intruding on them…my husband and his partner, in my house.

Maybe I should have been livid. Mostly I was just broken. I saw that Olivia was who I needed to be, but I couldn't do it. I could never be her, and if I wasn't…I wasn't right for Elliot.

So part of me does hate Olivia for taking my husband away from me, but I know he probably wouldn't even be alive if it wasn't for her. She saved his life over and over, and now he's hers to hold and love…maybe she deserves it. I know he deserves it.

I still love him. He's a great man. I just wish I could be the one he needs. But they're perfect together…and it kills me every day.