Disclaimer I did not write Twilight or New Moon. I do not own these characters, only the lovely Mrs. Stephenie Meyer does.

Last chapter...

When I returned from my shower he was gone.

Chapter Two

Sleepless Nights

On my pillow was a small note written in his perfect script,

Bella,

I couldn't stay here tonight. A lot of things are running through my mind, we need to talk, even if you don't want to hurt me, I need to know the truth.

Love Always and Forever,

Edward

I wanted to cry. I instantly gave up the idea of sleep and buried my head into my pillow and began to sob uncontrollably. It was around three in the morning when I heard a scraping sound against my window. I almost screamed. It had to be Victoria, she must have come back! I couldn't wake Charlie, if it was her and I was going to die, I didn't need to put him in any danger. I walked slowly to my window and I saw Jake!

I quickly opened the window and he jumped in with a low thud.

"Oh, Jake! Why haven't you answered my calls!?"

"Bella, I couldn't, Billy wouldn't let me, I'll probably get killed once the pack knows I'm here, but I don't see any harm in it, I don't smell your bloodsucker."

"Edward" I emphasized, "Isn't here, no." I turned away, just saying his name almost brought tears to my face again. Jacob quickly wrapped me up in one of his bear tight hugs.

"Can't breathe" I managed to stagger out.

"Oh, sorry." He quickly released me and stared at me for a while, "You've been crying. What's wrong?"

"I just got into a fight with… and I've missed you." My voice trailed off. If he only knew how much I missed him. I wanted us to go back to the way everything was, when he was still a human and when my heart only cared for Edward, how easier it all seemed to be. Jake was ruining everything.

"You got into a fight with one of them? Didn't you? They made you cry yet again." his voice was quivering and his fists were shaking and clenched.

"No stop. Calm down Jake. It's all my fault that I got into this fight, no actually I blame you!" I was trying to keep my voice calm, but he did complicate everything!

"You blame me!? What did I do, I haven't talked to you in ages." He truly sounded hurt.

"You have to complicate EVERYTHING!" I was almost crying I was so mad at him.

"Well you know what? I'm sorry I even showed up, I can see that trying to keep my promises to you is something I just can't do!" he was fuming, I could see him shaking. I began weeping uncontrollably again, here he was in my room and I hadn't seen him in the longest time. I couldn't let the last time I see him end like this.

"Jake, I'm sorry, it's not your fault, calm down." My voice soothed his shaking.

"What'd I do to cause the fight anyways?" a grin spread across his face, causing Edward pain, was obviously something he enjoyed. I looked down and began to blush. I couldn't tell him what happened because I couldn't give him any hope that didn't exist.

He pulled me into him again and I thought I was going to get another bear hug, but he lifted my chin with his fore finger and brought my face to his, it took a whole two seconds to realize what he intended to do. It was a whole two seconds later that I realized I was letting him do it. He brought his warm tongue into my throat and he kissed me passionately. It felt completely right. I never had a warm kiss like this before, but the only thought that came into my mind was Edward. I quickly moved away from. He looked at me with hurt in his eyes as if he could read my mind.

"Bella, I shouldn't have. I know you love that that bloodsucker." He snarled at the word.

"Jake, just don't do it again. You have to understand…" I trailed off I had no other words.

"I know Bella. I understand completely. How have you been?" We both sat on the bed.

"I've been much better since, well, since they came back. I really have missed you though." I looked at him and a smile was wide across his face, it was the Jacob smile that I'd grown to love so much.

"I've missed you too. If they leave again, you know I'm here for you."

"Why do they have to leave? Can't we still be friends?" desperation was held in my voice.

"No. Things just can't be that way; I can't be around them and the thought of you and him together…" He shook at the thought. "The fact that you love him…"

"Jake, don't." I placed my cool hand to his lips, "I love you Jacob, I really do, but not the way I love Edward, please don't make me choose."

"You've already chosen Bella, don't you see it?" He looked at me with hurt and anger in his eyes.

"I can't choose, I can't! Please don't make me. I love you both way too much to hurt either of you. I don't want to loose you." My voice quavered. And with that he took me to his face and once again he brought his warm lips to mine. I couldn't hold him off and he wouldn't let me push him away. When he was done we were both out of breath. I looked at him with pained eyes, why did he keep doing this to me?

"Bella, I know where your love and loyalty lies. I know the choice you've made, I've always known that if he came back, you'd be gone and lost forever. I have to go now. Know that I miss you every second of the day that I'm gone." With that he leaped out of my window making me sit in a shocked silence.

I looked at the clock it was four in the morning, I had to get some sleep for school tomorrow or rather today. I closed my eyes and began to toss and turn relentlessly. All I could think of was his kiss and how good it felt. How much did I feel for him? I had caused this boy so much pain and it seemed that's all I could cause him. He was right, my love and loyalty wasn't up for grabs, but what he didn't know was how right it felt to be with him. I didn't dream a thing and I awoke expecting to see Edward, but sighed as I saw the nothingness that was in my room.

I got up slower than usual. I took a quick shower because I knew if I didn't I would be late. I skipped breakfast. A part of me hoped I'd see Edward outside waiting for me, but then a part of me hoped he wasn't at school today. I didn't know what to tell him, I didn't know if I could tell him about last night, I did try to pull away, he had to know that. I didn't do anything, to hurt him; I didn't even want Jake to kiss me. I didn't have control over Jake's actions. Hell some of the time, Jake didn't have control over his own actions.

I walked outside to see his shiny Volvo waiting for me. The rain was just beginning to pick up. I quickly donned my jacket and ran into his car. The door was unlocked and I jumped in. He turned to face me.

"You saw him last night. I can smell him all over you." He looked hurt.

"Yes. He showed up at my room last night." I tried to sound calm, but it wasn't working, you could tell I was extremely nervous. I looked at his clock and realized there was plenty of time before school. Great, that meant we would be having this conversation now.

"I have to know Bella, do you love him?" He looked away from me so I couldn't read his face.

"Honestly?"

"Yes." He sighed.

"Not anywhere close to the way I love you."

"So you do love him?" he tried not to sound offended.

"A heart can hold more than one person, Edward. I love him, but as a friend and nothing more. Please don't be mad at me, please don't leave me." I had begun to cry. He pulled me into him and he was about to kiss me, when he stopped,

"Why do I smell him around your throat?" he looked confused and hurt.

"Are you going to listen to the full story?" I had to know he wouldn't overreact. He nodded. I could tell he didn't like the tone of my voice.

"He kissed me last night. I tried to pull him off of me, but he wouldn't let me, until he was done. He told me he knew that I'd already chosen you and he said me and him couldn't be friends anymore unless you guys left. It didn't mean anything. Edward you know that I love you right?" my voice was shaking.

"Yes Bella, I know you love me. I can't believe he would kiss you, he knows you are mine." He snarled.

"Just leave it alone…We don't need to fight over this anymore, he's gone." I realized how hurt I sounded a moment too late.

"You enjoyed it didn't you?" He looked down at me and if he could have cried, I'm sure tears would have been streaming from his beautiful topaz eyes.

"Edward, don't. I didn't want him to kiss me and all I could think of was you and how much I loved you and how badly I wished that I could explain everything to you." I was sobbing again. He wrapped his stone cold arms around me and kissed me from my temple to my collar bones.

"Shh… Bella, stop, you don't have to explain, I trust you. What you did or didn't do while I was away is none of my business."

"Oh, Edward." I sobbed into his chest. I looked up at him and kissed him. The instant our lips met I had began to cross his cautious lines and he stopped it. He gave me a weak smile and drove off. The car ride was completely silent. He took his stone cold hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. With his maniac driving we were still early for school.

I got out of the Volvo and Edward's hands were quickly around my waist. We walked to our first class together and we sat there just staring at each other. I hadn't heard a word the teacher had said. I didn't need to hear it though, it was English class and I had already read every book we were discussing. I could feel the chemistry bubble between us. The rest of the day went just like that. He would look at me and I would look at him. You didn't have to see to know how much love we both held for each other.

When lunch came Mike Newton walked up to me and I could almost hear Edward's expression change.

"Hey Bella!" a wide smile formed across his face, until he saw Edward next to me, his face suddenly dropped. "Hi Edward." I noticed the difference in his tone.

"Hey Mike, umm… what's going on?" I asked him casually, hoping he would get to the point so he could sit at his new table with Lauren.

"I was wondering if you'd like to go to La Push with us next weekend, it's supposed to be sunny and I'd really like you to go. We only have so much room in my van though…" Immediately I knew it wasn't an open invitation. Going to La Push did sound so appealing, there was so much left unsaid between me and Jacob last night, but I knew I couldn't go, Charlie would kill me and I was unsure of if it was a good idea to go anyways.

"Well Mike, normally I'd love to go, but I can't, I'm actually grounded and going anywhere but school is off limits. I can't even go to Edward's." His face dropped, but he managed to pull a smile on anyways, "Oh okay. Well I'll see you in gym." He walked off and Edward looked at me as if he was concentrating on something.

"What is going through your mind?" He asked me with hesitance in his voice.

"I'm wondering what's going on in yours." I smiled lightly and he kissed my forehead.

"Wait a minute, where's Alice?" I had just noticed that she wasn't in the car and she wasn't here.

"Relax Bella, she went hunting with Jasper."

"You know graduation's getting closer…"

"You know, you wouldn't have to wait if you'd meet my condition." He smiled his crooked smile that I loved so much and held my hands from across the table.

"I've given you many reasons of why I won't marry you Edward." He said something so low that I couldn't hear, and he quickly dropped my hands.

It was time to leave lunch for biology. He held me so close to him we walked, it was almost if he was letting everyone know I was his as he was mine. We sat at our table hands intertwined under the desk. His eyes were starring at me intensely as if he was trying to crack some code written on my forehead. I knew it then, he was trying to read my thoughts. What did he think I was keeping from him?

The rest of the day went by extremely fast. Instead of him staying the night, he told me he had to hunt. I made him promise nothing was wrong. He told me he'd be here to pick me up the morning. It looked like I was in for another sleepless night.

I was lying awake in my bed. All I could think of was Jacob. Why did he have to be so stubborn about not being my friend? Why did he have to kiss me again? The thought of his lips touching mine sent waves of shock and delight down my spine. I hadn't chosen Edward over him! I hadn't chosen anyone over anyone! It was unfair for him to expect me to choose anyways! He mentioned keeping his promises. Why would he mention keeping them if he had to intent to do so?

I sighed loudly and rolled over on my other side. I tried to turn my pillow to the cold side. Then I thought of Edward. I immediately felt guilt consume me. I shouldn't think of Jake's kiss. I shouldn't care so much about Jacob! I had the most perfect being imaginable. Maybe I was just being selfish to think I could have to incredible best friend and the incredible boyfriend. Edward was a dream that I was lucky to have, I shouldn't crave more. Yet, I did. I craved for my life to have them both. Why did they insist on choosing sides? I sighed again and turned on my back. It was then that I heard another tap on my window. I hoped it was Edward, it had to be him! Who else would it be? My heart began to race and I hopped out of my bed to go to my window.

There was Jacob. Why would he come here again? He made it very clear we could no longer be friends. I opened the window and he jumped in with a low thud, just like he had the night before. Before I could begin to speak he pulled me tight into his chest. He hugged me so tightly I thought my bones would crack.

"Can't… breathe…" he dropped me immediately.

"I had to come back; maybe we can be friends, if your leech keeps his distance from me." He was grinning widely.

"Jake, I don't want Edward" I emphasized again, "to keep his distance. I don't want you too either." With those words he went to kiss me.

"Jake, don't." I turned my head.

"Sorry." He muttered.

"You have to stop doing that. You know I'm with someone."

"I just thought you'd enjoy something warm for a change." He was grinning at this thought, but his face quickly fell as a new thought entered into his mind, "I didn't know kissing me was so repulsing."

"Jake it's not. I'm just not someone you should be kissing. You should kiss someone who's single." I hoped that didn't come out harsh.

"I don't want anyone who's single." He whispered. He ruffled my hair and looked at me, "You need some sleep Bells. I'll come back tomorrow." He hugged me and went through my window again. I sighed and laid back down. I pulled the covers up over my head and so the tossing and turning began.