Chapter 63

"I think that went rather well," Anakin said as he and Padmé entered their suite, "in spite of the rather poor display of manners by Captain Solo."

"I couldn't help but feel sorry for him," Padmé said as she sat down on one of the large sofas in the sitting area. "Leia certainly did do her best to make him feel jealous. I wonder why that is? Do you have any idea?"

"I'm not sure, but I think they had a disagreement earlier today," he told her as he joined her on the sofa. "She sort of interceded when he and I were having words, and I had the impression that there was considerable tension between the two of them when I left."

The door chime opened at this point, and Luke entered the room. "Hi," he said. "I hope you don't mind me showing up so late like this."

"Of course not," Padmé said, smiling at her son. "Come and join us. Your father was just telling me about a conversation he had earlier with Han."

"I had one earlier with him too," Luke told his parents as he sat down. "I'm sorry I brought him along tonight," he added, looking at his father. "I really had the best intentions in mind."

"We know that, Luke," Padmé said. "Don't we Anakin?"

"Yes, I suppose so," Anakin replied. "I don't think things turned out exactly the way Solo had hoped for, though."

"No, they didn't," Luke replied. "He was pretty sore at me, thinking I'd set him up. What was with Leia? Any idea what went on with them earlier?"

"I was just explaining that to your mother," Anakin said. "She interrupted Solo and I when we were having words earlier and..."

Padmé interrupted him. "I thought you promised Leia that you were going to try and get along better with Han?" she said.

"I did," Anakin replied. "You can't blame me if he is rude and arrogant. I over heard him talking to Lando Calrissian about some debts he owes to Jabba the Hutt, Padmé. Jabba the Hutt! That tells you a lot about the sort of man he is."

"And was that the reason for your argument with him?" she asked.

"I don't even know how it started," he replied. "Believe it or not, I was going to offer him some help with Jabba, but I didn't even get the chance. He just got all defensive with me and before I knew it we were shouting at one another. If Leia hadn't shown up when she did, I don't' know what would have happened."

"Han is a proud guy, Dad," Luke said. "He's pretty embarrassed by his past associations with Jabba."

"That doesn't excuse him, Luke," Anakin replied. "He has no respect, no manners. I don't like him, Luke. He's arrogant and has no consideration for anyone or anything, including Leia."

"You may be right about that, Dad," Luke said. "He said something to me earlier that really upset me."

Anakin frowned. "What did he say?" he asked.

"Yes Luke, what did he say?"

The three turned to see Leia entering the room. She looked at her parents, and then back to her brother. "Tell me what he said, Luke."

Luke glanced at his parents, feeling uncomfortable under his sister's scrutiny.

"I need to know, Luke," Leia said. "My eyes are beginning to open where Han is concerned."

Luke took a deep breath. "Well," he began. "I wanted to talk to Han, to tell him about…well; about this young officer that…uh… that Dad was trying to set you up with."

Anakin opened his mouth to object to his son's accusation, but, seeing Padmé looking at him out of the corner of his eye, decided not to. Luke was right, after all.

"And what did he say?" Leia asked.

"Well I didn't actually tell him about Lieutenant Keller," Luke continued. "Just that if he cared about you he ought to come to dinner. I guess the fact that he came means that he does. In fact, he told me just a little while ago that…"

"What did he say, Luke?" Leia asked, fixing her eyes on her brothers in the same unnerving manner that their father had.

"Yes, you said it upset you, Luke," Padmé said. "Leia ought to know if that is the case."

"He said that you told him you love him, Leia," Luke said at last. "And that you're not going anywhere."

Anakin uttered a Huttese curse under his breath and took a deep breath to master his anger.

"Do you see what I mean now by arrogant?" he said at last, looking at Padmé. "Now do you understand why I dislike this man so much?"

"Dad, please," Leia said, trying to hide how shaken she was by Luke's disclosure. "I know that sounds awful, but you don't know him like I do. There's more to him than just the arrogance you've seen. He's more than just a scoundrel, Daddy," Leia told him. "I've seen more, a lot more. That's why I don't understand any of this. I really thought he loved me….he does love me, I know it! So why is he acting this way? Why is he doing his best to push me away?"

"What happened earlier Leia?" Padmé asked gently. "Your father seems to think you and Han had a disagreement."

Leia sighed. "I asked him what happened between Dad and him," she replied. "And he said that you were eavesdropping on him when he was talking to Lando," she added, looking at Anakin. "Is that true?"

"Well, it wasn't intentional," Anakin replied. "I just happened to arrive when they were in the midst of a heated discussion, and I guess I heard enough to know what they were talking about."

"Well then you know more than me," Leia told him. "When I asked Han what the conversation had been about, he accused me of interrogating him. And when I told him that I thought that I was mistaken in believing that there was something between the two of us, he didn't deny it! He's been just playing with me! Just leading me along, and like some stupid school girl and I've let him!"

Anakin felt torn between his paternal instincts: one was telling him to comfort his child and the other was telling him to find Han Solo and tear him limb from limb. Fortunately for Han, the gentler of the two won out, and he came over and put a comforting arm around Leia's shoulders.

"He's not good enough for you, Leia," he told her gently as he stroked her hair. "Do you see that now? He's offensive, and arrogant, and has a shady past that makes him completely untrustworthy. Do you want to know what he was talking to Lando about?"

Leia looked up at him and nodded.

"He was asking him for money so he could pay off his debts to Jabba the Hutt," Anakin told her. "Leia, the man is a mercenary, a smuggler, a criminal! Anyone who would willingly associate with the Hutts is the lowest scum there is!"

Leia could not argue with her father's assessment of Han's past; but she had seen more to him than Anakin had. She had seen the gentle side, the side that would protect her from anything if he needed to. Leia knew that Han loved her, even if he was too stubborn and pig-headed to admit it. But is that enough? If he cannot even tell me how he feels about me, what hope is there that there could possibly be a future between us?

"Ani, you can't judge the man that way," Padmé chided. "Everyone is entitled to a second chance. Everyone is capable of changing for the better. You're living proof of that."

"Our circumstances are completely different," Anakin retorted. "Han Solo is completely complacent in his own little self-serving existence. You heard what he said to Luke; he figures he's got Leia right where he wants her, and doesn't feel that he needs to give anything back in return. Does that sound like a man who would change for anything or anybody?"

"Well he did tell me earlier that he loved Leia," Luke said, trying to stick up for his friend. "He couldn't deny that."

"He may very well love her, but he will never commit to her, Luke," Anakin replied. "Men like him don't make commitments, they just use women and then…"
"Stop it!" Leia cried, jumping to her feet. "Would you please all just stop?" She sighed and took a moment to regain her composure. "Look, I love all of you, and know you are all trying to do what is best for me. But this is my problem, my mess. I am old enough to know what I want and what I need, so please just let me make my own decisions in this, alright? Please?"

Anakin nodded. "Very well," he said, standing up. "Just know that I won't stand by and allow him to use you, Leia. I won't stand for that."

"None of us will," Luke put in.

Leia nodded, feeling deeply loved by her family. "I know," she said, "and I appreciate that you want to protect me, truly I do."

"Perhaps we all should think about sleep," Padmé suggested. "Tomorrow is a big day for all of us."

"You're right," Anakin said, standing up. Luke stood up as well. He wrapped his arms around Leia and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Get some sleep," he said.

"I will," she said, "goodnight, Daddy."

Anakin turned to Luke. "And you," he said with a smile. "Have a major role in our little drama tomorrow."

Luke smiled. "Yeah, don't remind me," he muttered.

"You're not nervous, are you Luke?" Padmé asked.

"Well, no," Luke replied. "Well, maybe a little."

Anakin smiled and put his hands on Luke's shoulders. "You'll do great, Luke, I just know it."

Luke smiled, appreciating his father's vote of confidence. "I'll do my best," he replied. "Thanks, Dad."

"You coming, Angel?" Anakin asked as he started to walk towards the bedroom.

"Yes, in a moment," she said, standing up. "Just saying good night to the children."

Anakin left his family alone and headed for the bedroom, as Padmé kissed Luke goodnight.

As Luke walked out the door, Padmé turned to Leia. "Sit down," she said. "I think you and I need to have a chat."

Leia sat down, secretly pleased at her mother's suggestion. Surely she of all people would understand how Leia felt.

"Now, tell me about you and Han," Padmé began.

Leia shrugged. "I'm not sure there's much to tell, really," she said, fussing with the fold in her skirt. "I thought there was more between us, but now I'm beginning to have my doubts."

Padmé listened, sensing how disappointed her daughter was. "Do you love him? Or are you in love with him?"

Leia looked up at her mother. "Isn't that the same thing?"

Padmé smiled. "No, I don't believe so," she replied. "You can love someone, care deeply for them but not be in love with them."

"How do you know then?" Leia asked. "How did you know?"

Padmé thought back to that day so long ago on Geonosis. She and Anakin were about to be lead out into a coliseum full of aliens who were anxious to watch their execution. She remembered feeling so afraid, but not of death; of not being able to tell Anakin how she felt before she died. And so she had. After months, perhaps years of denial, she finally admitted to herself and to him that she loved him. But it was more than love; it was as though he were a very part of her. More than twenty years later she still felt that same way.

"Mom?"

Padmé shook herself from her reverie. "I was just thinking about the day I told you father I loved him for the first time," she told Leia. "He and I had known one another for years, since we were both children. Your father has never been one to hide his feelings, and he had told me how he felt. I felt the same way, but because of our circumstances, I couldn't tell him. It seemed impossible that we could ever be together, and I didn't want to give in to something I figured could never work. But I couldn't deny how I felt for long. You see Leia, I felt as though your father was a part of me; the thought of being apart from him was painful. Those years when we were apart so much, during the Clone Wars, it was like a part of me was missing." She stopped, trying to put into words the depth of the love she shared with Anakin. "Your father and I share something very unique, Leia – it's like we are a part of one another. But it's not just love, it's companionship too. He is my best friend in the galaxy, and there is no one I'd rather be with than him. He may drive me crazy sometimes," she added with a smile, "but that's all part of the package."

"Well Han certainly drives me crazy," Leia said with a laugh. Her mother's words had moved her, and had made her question how she truly felt about Han. Granted, the depth of love that existed between her parents was unique, just as they themselves were.

"You obviously have feelings for him," Padmé said, seeing that her daughter was struggling. "But are they serious? Can you see yourself making a future with him? Having a family with him? Growing old with him?"

Leia frowned. "No," she admitted softly. "I can't. I can't even imagine him wanting children, or ever settling down. Dad is probably right about him; he's not the sort who will ever commit to woman." She shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "I've been acting like a silly school girl," she told her mother. "I feel like such an idiot!"
Padmé reached over and took Leia's hand. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Leia," she told her gently. "You're very young, and if I may say so rather inexperienced when it comes to men. If this is meant to be, then things will work out. If not, then think of it as a learning experience. It's not like you've been involved with him in a physical nature….is it?" she asked hopefully.

Leia shook her head. "No," she said, wiping a tear from her cheek. "We've kissed, but that's it."

Thank the Maker for that, Padmé thought with relief. "You know, perhaps the little performance you put on tonight will be the kick in the pants he needs," she said with a smile.

Leia couldn't help but laugh. "You think so?" she asked. "I was starting to feel a little guilty after a while."

"Don't," Padmé replied. "From what I've heard, he could stand to be taken down a peg or two. You were masterful, by the way," she added with a smile. "The consummate actress."

Leia smiled. "I just wonder if it will end up pushing him further away," she said.

"If he cares about you at all, it definitely will not," Padmé averred. "Trust me."

Leia raised her eyebrows. "Oh?" she said. "Sounds like you have some experience in this, Mom."

Padmé laughed. "Well, let's just say it doesn't take much to make your father jealous," she said. "I remember one occasion when he was off at the war, and my sister and her husband came to Coruscant for a visit. Your father saw me with my brother-in-law on the holonet, I was on it sometimes since I was in the public eye, and it made him insane with jealousy. He didn't know who your uncle was, and jumped to all sorts of conclusions."

"What?!" Leia exclaimed. "He didn't trust you?"

"Well it wasn't that," Padmé replied. "I suppose the fact that he and I were forced to keep our marriage a secret was getting to him, and when he saw a man he didn't recognize kissing me in public, it made him crazy. He ended up finding a way to come home, and just showed up at the apartment, where, of course, Sola and Darred here. I thought your father was going to kill Darred when he saw him in our home."

Leia laughed, being able to picture her father in such situation quite easily. "Dad adores you," Leia said with a smile. "You know when he was still Darth Vader, before I knew that he was my father, he told me that you were the reason he was helping me."

"Did he?" Padmé asked, surprised by Leia's disclosure.

Leia nodded. "Yes," she said. "Even as Darth Vader he loved you," she said. "It was so difficult for him to talk about you and what he believed had happened to you." She smiled. "It must be wonderful to be loved that much."

Padmé nodded. "Yes, it is," she said. "Well, it's getting late," she said. "Time for both of us to get to bed."

Leia nodded as they both stood up. "Thanks Mom," She said, hugging Padmé. "It felt good to talk to someone who understands."

Padmé smiled. "That's what moms are for, Leia." She kissed her on the cheek. "Good night, love. Sleep well."
"You too, Mom."