FIVE HOURS LATER
"Jack, have a seat," Heller greets him as he lingers at the entrance to the kitchen.
"The sedative they gave Audrey should start to wear off soon, so I figured I'd make her favorite french toast and see if I can get her to eat some. Maybe a familiar smell when she wakes up will help a little bit."
"Is this the famous french toast with raisin bread and apples on top?"
Heller looks surprised. "Yeah...I didn't know it was famous."
Jack smiles. "Audrey talked about it a lot. You making breakfast was one of her favorite memories growing up."
Heller can't help but smile. "I'm not getting my hopes up that she's going to eat it, but it's worth a try. Sit down, you can see for yourself if it's as good as Audrey built it up to be."
Jack hesitates for a moment, but does as he is told.
A few minutes later, Heller comes over and hands him a plate.
"I have to say, it lives up to its reputation," Jack says. Heller smiles. They sit there for a minute enjoying the french toast, until Jack breaks the awkward silence.
"Mr. Secretary, I just want to begin by apologizing for the way I acted last night. I had no right to come charging in here making those accusations...you were right, I wasn't thinking clearly."
"I said some pretty harsh things myself, Jack. What I said about your wife was way below the belt and I'm sorry."
"Thank you," Jack says softly.
Another awkward pause.
"Listen, Jack, I want to begin by saying that I know how much you love her, and I know that you would never intentionally do anything to hurt her. I also know that you're a father, and I assume you can understand where I'm coming from."
"Yes, sir. As angry as I was last night, I can't imagine I would have reacted too much differently if my daughter were in Audrey's shoes."
"You don't need to prove to me that you want what's best for her and not just what's best for you. You already proved that last night when you were willing to walk away."
"We both want what's best for her, sir."
"You're right. The problem is, I'm not sure I know anymore what that is. A few months ago, I got a call that my daughter had been killed and my whole world collapsed," Heller explains, his voice starting to crack. "All I could think about was my failure to protect her...when I first found out she was alive last night, all I could think about was keeping her safe, and making sure I never lost her again."
"So why didn't you just let me go?"
"Because she wouldn't have wanted me to. She would never forgive me if she knew I pushed you away...if there's one thing the past three years should have taught me, it's that she would never be happy without you. All of the things that used to matter to her...her career, her friends, her ambitions...none of that mattered to her after Bill Buchanan told her you had been killed three years ago. When I saw you standing near the water and you said you had nothing else to live for, it struck me that Audrey felt the same way both times you disappeared. She tried to kill herself, Jack."
"I...I didn't know that," Jack says softly, looking devastated.
"A few months after you staged your death. She couldn't forgive herself for the way she treated you...she had been having nightmares after we were abducted by terrorists, so the doctor prescribed some sleeping pills. One night she just took a whole bunch of them, hoping she would never wake up. After that I became so protective, to the point where last night, I became so obsessed with protecting her from any possibility of getting hurt again that I didn't stop to think about what she would want. I want to see her safe but I also want to see her happy...she's been a shell of herself the last three years, Jack, and if you leave now, I think she's going to be that empty shell for the rest of her life even if she comes out of this state. I can't do that to her, Jack. I'm not going to push you away. But you need to decide for yourself if you can handle this, and you need to decide now. Like you said last night, it's not fair to come back into her life only to disappear again. So I need to know whether I can count on you, and it's going to take more than just your word to prove that to me."
"What do you mean?"
"I want you to be examined physically and psychologically, to make sure that nothing that happened to you in China is going to put you in jeopardy."
"Understood."
"I want you to give me the gun you brought last night and any others you may have stashed."
"Sir..."
"I know what you're going to say, Jack. That you need the gun to protect Audrey. I know that anyone with a career as long as yours doing what you did has probably left you with some enemies, and I'm not saying it's not a good idea for you to have a way to protect yourself and my daughter. But I need to know that you can learn to be secure without having a gun on you at all times before I can trust that you're ready to move away from dangerous field missions and settle down."
"Fair enough. Is there anything else?"
"Yeah. I want you to agree to undergo counseling on a regular basis. And I don't want to hear any objections about how you're fine...you've been through a traumatic ordeal for the past two years, and if you think you're fine after that there's something wrong with you."
"I'm not going to argue, sir. I've never felt particularly comfortable sharing my feelings with a stranger, but if that's what it takes to reassure you that I can take care of Audrey I'll do it. Maybe it'll do me some good...who knows?"
Heller smiles sympathetically, surprised at Jack's lack of resistance.
"I need you to take things slow with her, Jack, not just physically but emotionally as well. I can't let her become too dependent on you until I'm sure that you can handle it. So I am going to keep her in my custody for a while, until she starts to show some signs of improvement and I feel more comfortable letting go. She stays here with me until we go back to DC, and I would prefer that you stay here as well, but it's up to you. When we go back to Washington we can figure out what the best arrangement is based on the circumstances at the time."
"Understood," Jack says softly.
"I'm putting a lot on you, Jack. It's not going to be easy to start over and rebuild your life. It's not going to be easy to open up and try to work through your feelings, and it's going to be next to impossible to quelch your instincts should you find yourself in a situation where someone needs your help and that help involves putting yourself in danger. And I respect you for that more than you could ever know, but I can't watch my daughter lose you again. So I need you to think this all over before you give me an answer."
"I understand, sir. And I can't promise that I'll be able to change overnight, or that I'll ever be able to completely put the past behind me. I can't promise that there aren't people out there who would still like to see me dead, and I can't say with certainty that being with me won't ever put Audrey in danger. But I can promise...I can promise that I would sacrifice anything and everything, including my own life, to protect her. I can promise to love her and to try as hard as I possibly can to take care of her."
Jack begins to tear up. "I wish I could tell you that I wasn't scared, that I wasn't afraid of hurting her or putting her in danger again but I can't...the truth is, I'm terrified...I can't stand the thought of putting her through any more pain...I don't want to hurt her again...I just want to take care of her...I don't want to hurt her anymore..." Jack trails off, tears beginning to stream down his cheeks.
Heller watches Jack with a heartbroken look. He didn't say it last night when he should have, but he came to care about Jack like a son long ago, and he realizes that he still cares despite all the pain his daughter has suffered. He goes over to Jack and squeezes his shoulder. "It's not your fault, son," he says firmly. "It's not your fault."
Jack doesn't believe Heller, but he appreciates him saying it nonetheless. "Thank you, sir," he says through tears. "Thank you."
They stay like that for a minute, until they hear whimpering coming from down the hall.