Once again, computer troubles start. I think my motherboard is acting up, because now my keyboard isn't responding to the computer, but the mouse is. And with another computer, neither keyboard or mouse responds. So I've been delayed for almost 2 weeks now. However, I got fed up with it and I wrote this on my sister's laptop (kinda stole it). Your reviews mean a lot to me and are probably the reason for my criminal resolve, hehe.

Slight note, even though Dattebayo translates Ichigo's position as an Shinigami substitute, I decided to change that here. Not normally my style but I feel that "honorary Shinigami" seems more fitting to Ichigo's role than "Shinigami substitute" (ex. Honorary deputy, honorary fireman, etc.).

But now, onto the chapter. I hope you like this one almost as much as the previous ones, because there aren't many style changes in this, and there is more dialogue than in the last ones. However, I finally picked on something that was essentially missing from the Bleach equation about Ichigo. Enjoy.

Bleach Fanfiction: Internal Destruction

by Clifton Myles

Chapter 4

Monster Power! Ichigo's New Resolve?

The neatly paved streets of the bigger city cried out against his shoes. The lights of the city seemed as if they were drawn to this force. Alone, one young man walked the streets of one of Japan's larger cities, detached from the real world. People of the nightlife passed him on the left and right, completely oblivious to the one fact that the young man had been forced to submit to:

He was a monster.

Destroying buildings, hurting those who tried to help...he took them all as signs of his doom. Turning into a small street, he found no one else there and paused his endless journey. The events flashed in front of his eyes again as he slowly began to realize just what he had let it do. Even though he had gained some sort of control, it just didn't seem like enough. His back against the wall, Kurosaki Ichigo slid down until he was sitting on the pavement. He curled his knees up to his chin and bowed his head, closing his eyes.

"And...that's it?"

Ichigo's eyes opened slowly.

"You're giving up, is that it?"

He raised his head.

"All that power that you wield between your two hands, and this is the extent of it?"

He turned to the not-so-familiar voice and saw the man who had aided him against the arrancar the day before...the same arrancar who fell easily to the power of it. "What do you want...?"

The man who had introduced himself as Jin walked closer to Ichigo. There were cuts in various areas of his clothing, but mainly he had come unscathed. "You're pretty damn powerful, you know. Not many Shinigami can wipe out an entire squadron of Shinigami and spiritual humans in one shot. Especially an honorary Shiniga--"

"Stop calling me that," Ichigo interjected, pulling himself up.

"Calling you what? Powerful? A Shinigami?"

"That," Ichigo snapped. "I'm no Shinigami. I don't even know if I'm human anymore." He stood up straight, stretching and cracking various bones along his back. "I need to go now...leave me alone." He turned his back to the only one he knew in that city and began to walk away, trying to remember why he even followed him.

"Wait...I remember now...that's why you say you're not a Shinigami..."

Ichigo twitched slightly but kept walking. But Jin continued. "...you're a Vaizard then?"

The 15-year-old stopped immediately and turned around. He felt that pang that came from realizing just how much of a demon he really was. Remembering the time when Hirako attacked him, it was obvious that they knew something he didn't. With his head lowered in humility he answered with silence. That term was being used quite loosely nowadays, and the more he heard it the more it called him to go to them...but he couldn't. He couldn't join them. He was an honorary Shinigami. It was below him to even consider the possibility to joining a group of former Shinigami.

"I don't associate with them...I'm no Vaizard."

"Oh, is that so?" Jin asked as he walked towards Ichigo. "You just said you weren't a Shinigami...and Vaizards are former Shinigami with Hollow powers." He stopped as the distance was closed to a mere 10 feet. "Let me get this straight...you say you're not a Shinigami, which makes you a former Shinigami. And you have a Hollow inside that you can't seem to control--"

"That isn't my fault!" Ichigo's yell drew some attention to the small street, but nothing to disturb the flow of the nightlife in the city.

"...I understand that. But by definition, you are a Vaizard, are you not? So why don't you associate with them?"

The younger man returned to his pitiful posture and once again answered with silence. His mind was racking again...I'm a Vaizard by definition...but I'm not a Vaizard because I don't associate with them...right? So what does that make me?

"So now that we've cleared things up...you're not a Shinigami...so that makes you, by definition..." he gripped the hilt of his sword and unsheathed it. "...a Vaizard." His Zanpakutoh glistened as it morphed into the Shikai. "Vaizards are to be killed for their betrayal to Soul Society." Jin took a fighting stance and readied his attack. "I'll start with you."

Ichigo snapped back into reality and ducked just in time to miss the swing of the spiritually steel-crafted katana. The sword clanged against the wall of the building behind Ichigo as he rolled away from the attacker. Regaining his balance he began to realize just how much danger he was in and started to run. Instinctively, Ichigo grabbed the trinket from his back pocket and turned left at the next corner before a burst of spirit energy appeared. As Jin turned the corner confusion covered his face. His prey was gone. The confusion soon became frustration...Jin stepped onto the roof just in time to catch the confused teenager jumping from roof to roof. It didn't take much to make him to follow. Step by step he attempted to get closer to Ichigo and at the same time Ichigo found himself getting away step by flashing step.

...what the hell is going on now...? He wants to kill me after helping me? Didn't he already know about my situation? Why help now?

Ichigo felt a pulse of spiritual energy go into his blade and stopped running. He dug his feet into the shingles and braced for the impact of the attack. Sure enough, Jin attacked immediately following his step. The two blades clashed and flame erupted from Jin's Zanpakutoh into Ichigo's face. Defending himself from the flame proved useless as he lost his balance and fell off of the rooftop of the house. The teenage Shinigami regained his balance and landed on his hands and knees, with only enough time to roll away from the point of the blade stabbing downward. The explosion of Jin's attack included water, which tore the street apart as Ichigo bounced off of the ground with one hand to dodge the explosive effect and shrapnel. The water cleared and returned to the state of spiritual pressure around the elemental swordsman. "Ichigo," he began with a jeering voice, "you can't run from my triple element Zanpakutoh."

Damn it...

"Triple element?"

Jin relaxed slightly and pointed his sword at Ichigo once again. "My sword is called Kusanagi. It has 3 elements, fire, water, and lightning. I can only use them in a certain order and for a certain amount of time, but it doesn't matter."

He told me the weakness...why? Does it really not matter...?

It was too late to ponder further. Jin had swung at him again, and Ichigo was forced to hop back to dodge. The movement proved hopeless when Jin changed the sword position in his hand to swing upwards causing bolts of lightning to follow after the honorary Shinigami. A blue blade flew towards Jin, canceling the bolts and catching the mysterious Shinigami off-guard. A mere sidestep sufficed to avoid danger, however, and Ichigo's next close combat attack was met with the same certainty. Again the Shikai had clashed again. Ichigo and Jin stared at each other, fixed in not only a physical/spiritual fight, but a mental one as well.

"Why do you want to kill me?" Ichigo asked, wincing.

"Because...you're dangerous now! Do you even understand how much power you have?"

"I don't want this power! I can't use this power! It's evil!"

"Your power isn't evil...the one behind it is..."

The two Zanpakutoh broke away from each other and clashed again, only allowing the wielders to change footing. "It's time to admit it Ichigo...all those times...when you used it's power or when you saw it's power...you liked it."

"What are you talking about?! This thing is completely against everything I stand for!"

"Then explain...why it takes you so long to regain control!" Jin pushed the inexperienced Shinigami back and stabbed his sword in the ground, causing the ground the break and flame to shoot forward from it. Ichigo's perserverance won again, using the Getsuga Tenshou to break the ground at an angle to disperse the flame. Now in the main street they floated above the people of the city, who were now scattering away from the recent explosions. Sirens could be heard, but for those who could sense the spiritual, there was another sound. The sound of a storm center and the chaos within.

"You like it Ichigo...the power...it feels good...doesn't it?"

Ichigo didn't answer with words. Instead he held his sword in front of him, spreading his legs to brace for the impact. The spiritual pressure around him rose and was causing the buildings around him to crack and break apart. Crying out in anger and distress, he called upon the inner power of his Zanpakutoh.

"Bankai, eh?" Ichigo paused and the spiritual pressure fell. Jin chuckled. "This is how I know you're thirsty for power. Any excuse you get, you go Bankai. It's because you don't feel your power here. Maybe it's because your Shikai is permanent. Maybe you love the feeling of gaining a large amount of power at one time. Either way, you want the power. It's okay though. You're young. You don't know the concept of conservation. Maybe your will to become strong to overcome your enemies gave you large amounts of power in short intervals, and now you've reached your end. But you must realize, Ichigo..."

Jin's blade sparked with electricity. "...the more you wish for that power, the weaker you are without that transformation or burst of power."

Walking on the air, Jin moved closer to the frozen Ichigo. "Each time you use that secondary release and ignore your initial, you weaken it...and you cheapen your Bankai. So you feel weaker and weaker even if you use Bankai. This hollow inside you is your key to more power. You don't hate the power Ichigo, you hate its origin, and because of that, you try to defend against him escaping. But your thirst for his power tires even your strongest defenses against the hollow, letting it run free every time you need that extra power. You love the power, and the way he uses it, even though it's against your way of doing things. He aims to kill his enemies. You aim to simply defeat them. It's such a childish way to live with power."

He tapped Ichigo's sword to the side, breaking the Bankai formation. Ichigo stood there frozen, absorbing every word being said and acknowledging it. He was powerless. Everything was true, and he was now just realizing how badly he had made things for himself and his family and friends. A tear fell down his cheek and fell onto the ground. It was now barren of the main populace; only the police remained.

"Ichigo...you're still a kid. Grow up."

Grow up...

Yea, Ichigo-chan, grow up...to be me!

"Fine...if you say so, Jin. But," Ichigo said, swinging his sword behind him. "You won't like it." He lifted it above his head and slashed downward. "Getsuga Tenshou!" The blade moved towards Jin at high speeds, but Jin quickly deflected the energy. Once again Ichigo charged forward to attack. But this time, it wasn't blocked or parried easily. Jin felt the push of Ichigo's new resolve pushing him back into the towers behind him. Only his Shikai stood between Ichigo and his life. Ichigo smirked. "I finally get it."

"Get what...?"

"I get it," Ichigo answered, pushing again. "The power I thirst for is what the hollow has...so I suppose I should be more accepting of what I have right here in front of me. Maybe that's what being an adult is all about; taking--"

"--what you get and making the best of it," Jin finished. "Yeah."

Ichigo backed up, letting Kodaishi Jin out of the hole newly created. "Maybe it's time you returned, Ichigo." Ichigo quickly nodded, and Jin brushed himself off. "Let's head back."

---

Despite the newfound power Ichigo had found within himself, the household of the Kurosaki family remained quiet and the atmosphere was suffocating. Yuzu had shown her feelings the most out of the other members of the household, her bright light being dulled by the sadness in her heart. Even Rukia had been caught up in the stuffy atmosphere that was the absence of Ichigo. No one knew when Ichigo would come back and, of course, Rukia could not say anything about the incident the day before. It was already almost noon and she was getting worried. What worried the rest of the Kurosaki family the most was that Rukia didn't know anything about Ichigo's absence, which said a lot. As the day went on, Rukia could only think of an excuse as to Ichigo's absence for school the next day in case he didn't come back by then.

Her eyes were still red from crying the night before. With the dreary household, no one had even bothered to notice. He needed to come back...not just for his sisters, but for her as well.

---

The journey wasn't long, but Ichigo had to retrieve his body that he discarded to defend himself. "I'm back."

Jin stood at his side, allowing the wind the blow through his hair. His work was done, and Ichigo was on the path once again, the path to success. And so, he yawned and turned away from the town of Karakura. "Ichigo, I'm going to take my leave."

Turning to him, the teenager nodded his head in acknowledgement. "I guess I'll see you later." He stretched his hand out to him. Jin took it and shook it, looking into the eyes that he believed held great promise for the city.

"I doubt we'll meet again, Ichigo." Stepping forward, he was gone. The lone honorary Shinigami looked forward again over the town that he had sworn to protect.

There's only one thing left to do...