Chapter 14

The first few days after returning to the SGC General O'Neill spent in the infirmary where he refused all visitors, allowing Col. Reynolds to take control of the base under the watchful of Walter Harriman. He bolted at the first chance and managed to stop by his office before a week of medical leave. He had dodged a bullet; he was slated for total joint replacement and suddenly a leg brace was deemed good enough. He was clearing out before the CMO came to her senses and started sharpening her scalpel. Before he had a chance to sign the myriad of requisitions on his desk that Walter had insisted on, there was a knock and Lt. Col. Carter walked in through the door that opened to the briefing room. He looked up and winced; he had hoped to avoid this.

"I hope I'm not interrupting you sir."

"I'm just on my way out." He said as he capped the pen and stood up.

"Carter, were you the one that when against base protocol and use an alien drug on a superior officer with out authorization or even that officers knowledge?"

Was she about to be dressed down for helping him?

"Yes sir, I…"

"So there's hope for you yet."

She smiled but was a bit uneasy. He had thrown her off balance and she wanted to resume her original train of thought.

"The reason why I'm here sir, I wanted to thank you…"

He reached out his hand to her. She thought it was for a caress but his fingers looped around the ball chain around her neck and pulled out her dog tags from inside her shirt, from between her breasts. He just looked and said nothing.

"I gave back the ring."

"Not the marrying kind?"

"I don't really know. I keep on making mistakes."

"How do you know this isn't a mistake too?"

She looked stricken. Was he reading minds now and could predict that this would be the latest disaster about to befall her personal life? Did he know how much courage this took to face him?

"I…I don't know. What I do know is that the others logically seemed right but in the end felt wrong." Her eyes looked hard at her boots. "And I've fought against this for so long and tried not to think about it but…I thought we could try…we could continue where we left off." She glanced up to see him staring at her.

"And where was that?" He gave her no help. "When we were just about to be crushed to death or burnt alive? Cause I gotta tell you…"

"I was thinking a few moments after that."

"Lying on the ground, surging with adrenaline with a cripple on top of you, just grateful to be alive"

He lurched over and grabbed his cane from the other side of his desk and called out.
"Walter, I'm going home."

"Yes sir, your car is waiting on the surface and Colonel Reynolds is already here."

General O'Neill looked in Walter's direction and shook his head and then looked back at Sam.
"Well good night Colonel."

She would not be put off.
"We should talk."

"Highly over rated and usually a monumental waste of time"

"But we need to…I need to…"

"Sometimes you've got to let go of the past, Carter."

"Okay then, it sounds like a plan." Sam was going for broke.

"What?"

"Lying in your arms surging with adrenaline"

He suppressed a smile.
"Do you think that's wise Colonel?"
He raised the cane to emphasis his infirmity.

"Maybe not very logical but…"

"Probably not even be physically possible"

Sam looked a tad confused and then blushed. Just a hug from the man caused her to surge with adrenaline. It seemed the man was skipping ahead in this conversation.

"Are you ready to leave?" He asked

"Yes sir."

Exiting his office with Sam in his wake he said to Sgt. Harriman.
"Call the surface and tell them I won't be need a driver tonight."
And to Sam he asked "You didn't ride your motorcycle today?"

Walter was busy gathering up and handing to Colonel Carter vials of pills and a folder.
"His meds and physiotherapy regiment."

He was half way to the elevators when he heard Walter reply.

"Good night General O'Neill."

Sam slipped in just as the elevators doors started to close, nervously thumbing through the folder and muttered to herself.
"This looks like pages from the Spanish Inquisition."

Alone together in the privacy of the elevator Jack was serious for a moment and asked
"What do you really want, Sam? Do you know?"

She looked at him without the slightest bit of embarrassment and said.
"I want to stop lying to myself, I want to stop denying how I feel and who I want. I'm not sure I have the courage…"

Motioning between the two of them he said "Don't you think this scares the shit out of me too? When you wanted to lock away everything after the Zanax debacle I have to admit I was a little relieved. I didn't have to talk about all that feelings stuff but it probably wasn't a wise decision. It didn't make thing easier and it didn't change how I felt."

"It's always been you, you know. I've always loved you but I was afraid, afraid I didn't love you enough, afraid of the consequences, afraid it might not work out. I'm still a little afraid."

"Sam, look, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"How do we manage to have a normal life?"

"Well that's never going to happen, not after everything we have seen in the past eight years. I'm not sure I know how to do 'normal' anymore and anyway it would bore you to death. But I'll talk to Hammond. We'll be discrete and you can check for tails and bugs. 'Don't ask, don't tell' works a lot better if the other guys can't watch and listen."

"I want someone to come home to, to share my life."

"Yeah, me too"
He brushed her hand with his and wanting more, he knew he could wait.
"Let's go home."

The elevator slid open and they preceded to the last check point. Jack nudged Sam with his cane and with a smirk on his face asked.
"So you're planning on helping with my therapy?"

Knowing what he meant as apposed to what he said caused her cheeks to flush. It just encouraged the man.

As they walked to the parking lot he asked,
"You will be gentle with me?"

Sam smiled and shook her head, living with this man was going to be a challenge.

The End

A/N: I want to sincerely thank all who have read and those of you who have reviewed this tale. It is very encouraging and heart warming.