Chapter 3

In the dark of night, Danielle sat, waiting, reflecting on recent occurrences. She was in her latest home, a hastily dug bunker of sorts, a place designed to allow its inhabitant to disappear from the world. It was a rather depressing place, though that was the furthest thought from Danielle's mind that night. She sat regarding the still-unconscious Alex, and was beginning to feel a sense of horror for what she had done.

Watching Alex, Danielle saw bruises and scratches covering the girl's skin, marks of violence that she herself had put there. Emotion was building up inside of her, as she rose to her feet. She felt like she was suffocating. At that moment she wanted nothing more than to get as far away from Alex as possible, wanting to block out the memories of her attack, all memories of her daughter in fact, so she wouldn't have to feel any of this again. But she couldn't move. She stood rooted to the ground, feeling vaguely that she was somehow outside of her body, with no control over her limbs. She couldn't do anything but stand and stare.

Her panic increased as Alex began to stir. Danielle still couldn't move. After a short time, Alex was fully awake, and began to look about her frantically, trying to work out where she was. The pressure in Danielle's chest increased as she watched this, the guilt and the horror of the situation worse now than ever. Alex's searching finally led her to Danielle's position, and she froze. The two women stared at each other, one moment stretching into eternity.

Silence. Again, silence. Always, too often, this everlasting silence. Danielle had had too much silence in her life. She hated it.

So many thoughts were racing through her mind, so many things that needed to be said, so many apologies to be made. Danielle knew she should apologize for what she had just done, for the pain, both physical, and, most likely, emotional, that she'd inflicted. Yet for some reason that she couldn't explain, couldn't even understand, she felt the overwhelming need to apologize for not being there all of Alex's life, for letting the Others take her, for not being able to get her back sooner. For allowing her team members, including her husband, to become sick, ultimately leaving her to defend both herself and her newborn daughter. For failing at even this. And for undertaking a science expedition while she was pregnant. For not foreseeing all the risks, and for ignoring those that she did. So many mistakes.

Considering all of this, Danielle knew she should have thought carefully about what to say. But it seemed her mind was still thoroughly unattached to her body. "They kept your name." Alex seemed just as surprised by this statement as Danielle. "What do you mean?" Alex asked, tentatively. This was good, thought Danielle vaguely. They were talking. "I named you Alexandra when you were born. Before they took you. It was my mother's name." She wasn't sure why she'd added that last detail. Something about this information seemed to intrigue Alex, though Danielle wasn't exactly sure why.

It was quiet again. Danielle wanted Alex to say something, anything. She'd never felt so uncomfortable in her life. Alex didn't seem to want to say anything. She was looking around the strange room, if one could call it that, that the two were standing in. After staring intently at her daughter for a while, Danielle realised with a jolt that Alex was deliberately looking at anything but her. She felt pained by this, but realised that she should have expected it. It seemed she couldn't get anything right. She looked away.

"What's that?" Alex's voice broke through the silence. Danielle was grateful; the relief at such a small thing was overwhelming. She looked up to see what the younger girl was referring to, and was amazed to see that she had moved from her place and was now standing in front of Danielle's beloved music box, examining it as best she could in the all-encompassing dark.

Danielle moved towards her cautiously. Alex didn't even seem to notice until her mother was standing right beside her. Danielle was touched that the one object that held such sentimental value was so interesting to her daughter. She picked it up and opened the lid, letting the sounds of the newly restored music fill the air. Alex's expression changed slightly at the sound, and though Danielle noticed this, she had no idea what Alex was thinking.

"Your father gave it to me." Danielle smiled at the memory. "What happened to him?" Alex asked. Such a casual question, yet it was one that Danielle couldn't stand remembering the answer to. She stepped away, avoiding Alex's questioning eyes, clutching the music box closely. Alex seemed determined to get an answer though. "What happened to him?" she asked again, slightly more demanding this time. "Where is he now?" Louder. Alex moved closer. Danielle wanted to get away form her, she was too close, she was hurting her, couldn't Alex see that she didn't want to answer? "If you really are my mother, why can't you tell me what happened to my father?" The insinuation that she was lying finally made Danielle snap.

"I killed him!" she screamed, turning suddenly, unaware that Alex was now standing extremely close. Alex jumped at the sudden outburst, looking slightly scared again. "He was stranded here with me, then he got sick, and I had to kill him." Danielle tried to explain her actions in the quickest way possible, not wanting to relive the memory of killing the man she loved in its full form.

"What makes you think I'm your daughter?" Danielle wasn't ready for this question. She didn't know how to answer it. How do you explain maternal instinct to a girl who'd never experienced it? She couldn't even explain it to herself. She was a scientist, after all, and this wasn't something that had a scientific explanation. Logically, she could argue that Alex was the right age to be her daughter, her physical appearance was compatible and she didn't think there were many other girls who fit the criteria on the island. But this wasn't why she believed it to be true.

"I just know." She answered simply, not expecting Alex to accept that as an answer. But strangely enough, Alex didn't argue. Danielle was relieved. She was tired of all the questions.

Alex seemed thoughtful, looking around at her surroundings again. Locating the only exit in the bunker, she moved towards it. Danielle noticed this. "What are you doing?" she asked, already knowing the answer. She didn't want Alex to go.

"I'm going home. Back to my family." Alex's response made Danielle want to cry. Those people weren't her family; they were the ones who'd kidnapped her. Danielle hated them, and she couldn't bear the thought that Alex wanted to go back to them. "Don't leave." She asked, pleading, desperate, knowing it wouldn't make any difference. "I only just got you back." Danielle was crying now, something she rarely allowed herself to do.

Alex paused. Danielle waited, expecting her to say something. But there was nothing. Alex started walking again. She left the bunker without looking back.
Danielle sank to the ground, allowing her emotions to overtake her. She knew Alex was gone for good, that too much time had passed for things to go the way she'd wished. She felt so much despair; it was all she felt. She let it consume her.

After awhile, though, she noticed a new emotion creeping in. It confused her at first. She felt… calm. Relieved. Strangely at peace. She had met her daughter, something she'd dreamed about for sixteen years. She'd had a conversation with her. She'd finally gotten closure, and she discovered that that was all she'd wanted. She smiled, as the first rays of light shone on her face and illuminated her surroundings. The darkness was gone.