Disclaimer: Sam and Jo are not mine. Not at all. Never. Nope. You exceeded yourselves guys, 6 reviews, I'm very proud of you all! Thanks for the reviews and I hope I get as many for this chapter!

Chapter 38:

"Pregnant." Jo whispered.

Sam felt her heart flutter, feeling the effect of the answer.

"Our baby." Jo whispered, barely audible to the woman standing only centimetres away.

"Yeah." Sam replied unconvincingly, trying her hardest to sound like she wanted the child.

"Our baby." Jo repeated still no more than a mutter, trying to let it sink in.

"You're gonna be a mum."

"Our baby." Jo repeated for the third time, causing Sam to worry about her.

"Jo, are you okay?"

"Our baby."

"Yeah, I know. Are you alright?"

"What am I gonna do?"

"I thought you wanted to keep it."

"But you don't want to, do you?"

"It's you're baby Jo, only you can decide."

"No Sam, it's ours. Yours and mine. I can't do this alone. I can't keep the baby if I haven't got you."

"Don't blackmail me Jo."

"I'm not, I'm not. I just can't cope without you. If this baby is gonna tear us apart then I can't keep it."

"Do what you feel in your heart Jo."

"I feel you Sam. And I'm not doing you here." She joked, trying to take the atmosphere out of the small room.

Sam smiled before returning to the conversation. "What do you feel Jo?"

"All I can feel is my love for you. I know what I think on abortions, I know how much I hate them, detest them. But all I can feel is you. I don't have any emotion attached to this baby, none at all. You're all I can think about. What shall I do?"

"I can't tell you Jo. If I tell you what I truly feel, you'll hate me for it. And if I tell you what you want to hear, I'll regret it, and I'll hate myself for it. Do you want this baby?"

"I don't know. I always told myself that, if I ever got pregnant, I would keep it, whatever the circumstances, even if I weren't with the father. I never thought that I'd have been raped, and I'd be with you. I don't know what I want. I don't feel anything for this baby. But I don't want to get rid and then fell something afterwards, regret, disgust in my actions, guilt. Love even."

"You have to go with what you feel is right Jo. You don't have to decide yet. You've got plenty of time."

"I can't wait for a month, or maybe even two, and then decide to have an abortion, I'd be too attached. If I think it's the right thing, I'll have to do it now."

"Give yourself a day or two at least, to let it sink in."

"Sam…"

"Yeah?"

"Will you leave me. If I keep it, will you leave me?"

"No. But I don't know if I'd be able to love the baby. I'd try, and I'd never stop loving you, I'd never leave you. But I don't know if I could love the baby."

"You'd try?"

"Yeah, I'd try. And maybe, I dunno, when I see the baby, I'd see your child, our child, not Stuart. But I don't know. I might see Stuart. I might not be able to bear to look at him or her because I was reminded of Stuart. Or I might see you, and love it as much as I love you. I can't tell you until we get to that time though. I can't tell you how I'll feel about it."

"I know that. But I need to know that you wouldn't hate it, however much you thought of Stuart, that's why I can't hate Stuart, because if I do, I'll hate my baby. I need you to not hate Stuart."

"After all he did to you? I can't do that, I can't. I can not think of the baby as Stuart's. I can not hate the baby, but I can't not hate Stuart."

"I know how you feel. I understand. But I need you to not hate him. I'm not asking you to love him, care about him, or even think about him. Just feel nothing for him, look into his eyes and feel nothing, no hate, nothing."

"I don't know if I can do that."

"Please try. I need you to if I'm gonna keep the baby."

"Okay, I'll try. I'll go to the hospital when we get back to Sun Hill and I'll try to look at him and feel nothing. Okay?"

"Okay, thank you."

"Are you gonna keep the baby then?"

"If you can feel nothing for Stuart, then yes. If you can't then no."

Sam felt pressurised, knowing that now, if she was to do what Jo wanted she would either have to feel nothing for Stuart, or at least tell Jo that she felt nothing for him. She understood why Jo wanted her to do that though. She knew she couldn't cope with bringing up a baby if her partner hated the kid, she couldn't ask Jo to do that.