Where They Are Now:
Summary: Invader Zim characters: where they are now. After cancellation, what did they do with themselves? How did they support themselves? And what in the world did they do with all that free time? New character every chapter, possible reunion last chapter(s).
A/N: And so, I did fall off the face of the earth, but fortunately I was able to tickle the earth's belly so it would burp me back up. Hey, it's better than the alternative. I did write my first sonfic as I was falling, you guys should check it out...it's not really humorous at all, but whatever. Yay! Enjoy! Please!
Disclaimer: No trees were harmed or killed in the making of this fanfic, though some electrons were inconvenienced.
REAL Disclaimer: Invader Zim? Yea, I knew 'em. Two words to describe that whole bunch: not mine.
Recap: Stuff went on. more specifically Dib showed up...and the squirrel ate Dib's greasy head.
Chapter three: Paranormal Peaks and Plunges
"Oh my. This has never happened before. A pre-invitation re-union?!" The narrator stammers, shocked at Dib's un-planned appearance. "My, this must be good for ratings! It's just like one of them reality shows...So unplanned! So...edgy..." The narrator makes excited hand movements that mean edgy. "Well, we must get a word in with this former Invader Zim main character! Dib!" The cameras and excited narrator rush over to Dib, separating Dib and Zim on accident.
"Yes?" Dib is standing, on guard, frantically looking for Zim who is suddenly no where to be found in the area. In the background, Zim is seen being carried away by a group of peace-loving hippie fangirls, he's screaming in fear all the way.
"Dib! You must be very close to Zim if you show up at his own segment of this show!"
"You could say that." Dib still was trying to push through the paparazzi as the cameras continued to follow him. "Where is that alien scum, anyway?"
"Dib, a word with you! Just a moment!"
"In a moment, the earth may be one step closer to being dominated by Zim!!" Dib scowled at the persistent narrator.
"We'll pay you triple of what we said we would in the letter."
"I never got a letter." Dib scowled at them as he continued to search and ask random people about Zim.
"It was $30,000 for a single day." The narrator shouted over to him across the hall they were now trying to follow him.
"You all can't buy me away from trying to save..." Dib stopped dead in his tracks.
"How much?" Dib looked over his shoulder trying to be casual.
"It would be $90,000 now that we've added the extra." The narrator said.
"I guess...Zim and his diabolical plans could wait for just a silly little interview." Dib said as he slipped into a conveniently placed stool and waited patiently for the interview to start.
"Dib. You were a vital part in the Invader Zim series, playing Zim's rival..."
"Playing? You think I'm playing? I'm trying to save mankind!" Dib interrupted, annoyed.
"Please, Dib. We just want to ask questions." The narrator said as the head of the show began to write him a check. Dib settled down for a moment.
"Now, we must ask, since this is the sole purpose of "Where They Are Now."...Where are you now in your life?"
"On a stool...in an interview...can't the cameras see that?" Dib asked, looking into one of the camera lenses suspiciously.
"Interesting...but what do you do with all your spare time, now that you have no obligations to Invader Zim."
"I still have obligations! I'm trying to save this world from destruction because of Zim!" Dib glared, then relaxed his expression and sighed. "Well, I have been pretty successful in my other paranormal studies."
"Hmm...yes, tell us about that."
"Well, as you know, I did live in a cave for some time, steaking out for Bigfoot. I gathered a lot of evidence, living in that cave, but I had no idea that it would actually lead to the capture of an actual yeti." He looked around, happily, hoping for some applause, but still content without. "Since then, I've gained some respect, which I was hoping would help me bring the defeat of Zim! I've wanted that my whole life!!"
"Why would you want to do that?!" The interviewer asked, a little shocked at his wish.
"He's trying to destroy mankind!"
"He's on a world peace tour."
"You don't understand!! He's on a mission for—WORLD PEACE?!" Dib shouted in confusion. "Wait...Zim?"
The interviewer nodded.
"Little green kid?" Dib wanted to make sure. "With an ego problem?"
Everyone nodded.
Dib stared at them for a long time, dazed. He was zoning out, a confused expression on his face. After a long moment of silence he finally spoke something intelligent.
"Huh? Wait...How?! Who?!"
"Zim is the main event of the World Peace Tour 2007. His specific tour is called "The Word Of Zim" Isn't that neat?" The narrator said.
"I...uh...I guess so." Dib sat, a little confused at this information, deciding to investigate. "Did he finally see that Earth is not a horrible place? Did he realize that humans are mostly good!? Did he see the light in how mass genocide of anything, besides mosquitoes, is HORRIBLE!?!?...Did he get hit in the head with a car door?"
"Woah, Dib. Too many questions. Why don't we just continue asking questions about you, and then maybe later you can find Zim and ask him yourself, while we tape your every audience-attention-grabbing move." The head of the show interrupted, while the camera zoomed in on Dib, almost uncomfortably.
"Um...ok. But this better be quick." Dib crossed his arms, his eyes wandering, looking for maybe a glimpse of Zim
"We would like to know, some major accomplishments that you hold dear that have happened since the cancellation of the show."
"Well, that bigfoot thing was pretty cool. Oh, and uh, the talking to myself thing has died down a little bit...at least I think so...Wait, maybe I don't...Anyways, I also have gotten permission to use all of my dad's equipment, even the newest beaver technology! I got some cool EVPs on tape..."
"EVP? Please fill our audience in."
"Electronic Voice Phenomena. They sure are creepy." Dib grinned. "Well, the ones I've most recently gotten are not very creepy. Mostly of an old couple bickering about not able to find each other's ectoplasm, playing marco polo. Um...something about losing teeth, and how rude it is to walk through walls. But I'm optimistic and I'm sure I'll get a live sample someday. It's been a bumpy ride, I've had many ups and downs trying to gain respect as an official paranormal investigator, but I was able–"
"So what has made you come back and find your former co-worker Zim?" The interviewer interrupted. Dib lost his train of thought as the interviewer mentioned Zim.
"We have never worked together." Dib glared at the interviewer. Dib mumbled so only he could hear, "'Cept for that bologna thing...that was weir--"
"That's why I said 'former'" The interviewer said back.
"But...what you just said...means that we did..." Dib trailed, getting confused at this person's logic.
"Exactly Dib, please continue."
"Uh...Well, I've tried to explain to everyone about how there is an actual alien living on this planet, but it almost costs me my reputation and respect, so I decided that the only way would be to shove it out in front of them SO THEY CANNOT DENY THE EXISTENCE OF ALIENS!" Dib shouted excitedly. "AND THEN...THE WORLD WILL KNOW THAT I WAS RIGHT!"
"Do you think that the recent occupation choice of Zim will hinder your plans? That he's now a peace-loving alien?"
"Uh...I hope not. I mean, you see, he's still an alien and people will see that...he's an alien, I think, and that will force people to open their eyes and see that I–"
"Well, Dib I thnk we're all done here, so you're free to do what you like."
"But, I wasn't done!"
Tune in next time when Dib confronts his former rival!
"Hey! He's STILL my rival! At least, I think."