Rory shook with cold as she sat on the airplane. She hadn't remembered to pack a warmer jacket. Of course it had been years since she had felt any real warmth. She had tried to read Jess's book but couldn't focus so she looked out the window instead, sipping her drink from her large first class seat.

Rory tapped her long nails on the rim of the glass absently until the annoyed looks of those surrounding her arrested the movement and made her suddenly self-conscious. Rory took out her compact and looked into the mirror, looking closely at her face for the first time in a long while. She looked old and tired, and so un-Rory it was hard to recognize the Rory in her. All she saw was Leigh Huntzberger, middle aged at 31. Rory briefly thought about her mom at 31, how she had been so full of youth and energy and vivacity. 'I've sold my soul to the devil.' she thought looking down at the expensive clothes, shoes worth who knows how much, diamond earrings. She was wearing a dizzying amount of money on her body and it was her most basic outfit. Then she looked at the book. It was a better testament of feeling than any of the things she was wearing. If the dedication was for her than it was worth more than any of the clothes and shoes and jewelry that Logan paid for. 'Besides, I have a job, I can pay for my own things.' she thought bitterly.

She pulled the thin jacket around her shoulders a little tighter and looked resolutely out the window, trying her best not to think about what she was doing and who she was.

She awoke with a start to hear the announcement from the stewardess. They were landing. She groggily pushed the button to return her seat to the upright position and looked around for her things. She hastily ran her fingers through her hair (society hair, not Rory hair) and straightened her clothes. It both seemed like an instant and an eternity before they landed and Rory was standing nervously at the baggage claim. She had packed only a small bag but of course it had been too big to fit the new airline regulations and so here she was at baggage claim, waiting again. She was already on the phone trying to track down where Jess lived. And she had already discovered how far the name Huntzberger went. She had grown accustomed to throwing it around with impunity at every obstacle. At least there was one good thing about her marriage.

So twenty minutes later Rory had her luggage in hand and was traveling in a cab to Jess's apartment. She didn't know anything about him now. Did he live alone? Have roommates? Where did he work? How had he published a book? Would he even recognize her. And then suddenly, too late, Rory was hit with the certainty that the dedication wasn't for her, couldn't be after all this time. She felt choked with embarrassment. What was she doing? She took another sip from the drink she always had at hand and took a deep breath. She knew it was for her, who else could it be for? She and Jess had always had that connection that she'd never had with Logan, as much as she had wanted to. But Logan had needed her. Needed her as he lay there in that hospital bed, hurt and disoriented. That was the moment when she knew that she would marry him. And Jess had never needed anything. He seemed just as well with as without her. But now she needed him. She needed to feel some spark of love, a tiny bit of warmth, of recognition, of friendship even to break through the cold that had rested in her and overwhelmed her.

Shaking slightly Rory looked out the window, wondering if they were getting close. She tried to judge by the neighborhood what Jess would be like if he lived here. But her mind was too tired to go through such a complicated thought process.

She took another drink, feeling the alcohol in her system. Not enough to make her drunk, but enough to calm her nerves. Then the cab started to slow, and there is the sound of the turn signal, pulling over to the sidewalk. Rory looked out the window, seeing the tall buildings pushed together, creating anonymous apartments above all the businesses. The cab driver turned around to announce that they are there but Rory is already stepping out of the car, as if in a daze. She didn't even hear the total, just put a small wad of cash into his hand. He didn't question her, or give her time to reconsider the 150 tip she has just given him, just drove off after a quick 'thank-you'. Rory stepped up to the bookstore, looked in the window but it was closed. Of course it is, it's night. She looked at the doorbell on the side for the apartment above. Cautiously, after a moment of hesitation she rang the bell, standing there and waiting, desperately hoping that someone is home. Hoping that she isn't here, in Philadelphia, on a fools errand by herself at night.

A man's figure walks through the darkened store, comes to the door.

It isn't Jess.

"We're closed." he says.

Trembling slightly she asks in almost a whisper "Does Jess Mariano live here?"

The man gives her another, closer look. "What do you want with him?" he asked suspiciously, eying her expensive clothes.

"I'm an old friend." she said, wondering if she still had the right to make that claim after all these years.

He held the door open for her then and without another word headed through the store, to a back room and up the stairs.

Rory followed, her heart in her throat, aware that she was holding her bag and looked ridiculously out of place here.

The man opened the door at the top of the stairs which opened into a small, somewhat cluttered apartment. Well, somewhat cluttered was an understatement, it was practically a disaster.

"Hey Jess." he called. "Someone here to see you."

"Who is it?" a voice called from down another hallway in the apartment.

"Some lady. She says she's a friend." Then the man sat down on the couch, flipping on the tv.

The door down the hall opened and Jess walked out of the room, just fastening his belt from the pants he had obviously just put on. He wasn't wearing a shirt. And stopped short when he saw who was standing there.

"Rory?" he asked.

Rory felt like shouting 'Yes, it's me. Say my name again, please say my name again. Be mad at me if you want, don't want to talk to me, just please call me Rory again.'

But instead she just opened her mouth, no sound coming out. So instead she just stared at him.

It was definitely still Jess, just a little thicker, a little older looking, with more maturity to his face. His hair was still nearly the same, his eyes always the same. That slightly mocking expression still in his lips.

"Rory what are you doing here?" he finally asked again, as the door down the hall opened and a girl came out, wearing boxers and what was obviously Jess's t shirt.

"Jess who is it?" she asked, somewhat petulantly. "You're missing the rest of the show."

Rory realized her horrible mistake. Jess was here, living in an apartment, with a girl. A girl who wasn't her, and bore no resemblance to her.

This girl was obviously years younger, short pink hair in a pixie cut, green eyes, a few inches shorter than. Rory tried to recover. Tried to remember that she was a business woman. That she could handle anything. Instead she just stood there, dumb, knowing that this was probably the longest she had ever gone without saying anything. Or at least it felt like it. She willed herself to speak but no sound came from her mouth. This silence seemed to last an eternity before Jess spoke again.

"This is an old friend. A really old friend." He told the girl next to him.

Rory nodded, finding herself capable of that.

The girl eyed her critically, obviously seeing the haircut, the rings, the diamonds, the clothes, the shoes, the Birken bag.

"Umm." Rory said. She berated herself for having such poor control over language today.

Jess looked at her expectantly.

She looked down.

The man on the couch, who had let her in, snickered a little, finally spurring her to talk.

"I came to see how you were." she told Jess quietly.

He looked at her, eyes wide. "You just decided to visit me? How did you know where I lived?"

"Umm I made some calls." She scuffed her shoe on the floor.

"Why?" he asked.

"I just thought about you, and realized we hadn't talked in a while. I found your book." she said, holding up the copy she had bought.

"Oh." was all he said.

The girl interrupted him. "How do you two know each other?"

Jess turned to her "We lived in the same town in high school. And dated for a while. Rory this is Shelly Sherman and Shelly this is Rory Gil...?" He looked at Rory questioning.

"Huntzberger." she said, feeling completely stupid. What was she doing here?

Jess nodded, understanding. "When did you get married?" he asked.

"Seven years ago." she answered. She felt Jess's glance on her and was ashamed. They were the same age but she knew she looked years older.

Shelly stuck out her hand "Nice to meet you." she said, trying to sound friendly but still sounding confused.

"I'm going to watch the end of the show." she told Jess and headed back into the other room. Probably the bedroom Rory guessed. She couldn't imagine how she could stand here, fully clothed, and feel so self-conscious, while they were practically naked and appeared not to feel self-conscious at all.

Jess shot a look at the other man. He got up and left the room without a word.

"That was my roommate Ted." he explained. "Want to sit down?" he gestured towards the couch.

Rory nodded and sat down, Jess sitting on the arm of the couch.

"So why are you really here Rory?" he asked, looking into her face. Rory rejoiced at that name. She missed being Rory.

She took a deep breath. "I found your book. And I guess I just assumed that the dedication was for me." She blushed furiously, feeling like a little girl instead of a grown woman.

"It was for you. But Rory I wrote that book five years ago."

Mortified, Rory stared at the floor. She had never even checked the date.

"I don't know what I expected." she said. "I just wanted to see you again."

"But you're married, right?" he asked.

"If you can call it that." she said suddenly, then regretted her harsh words. Sure, she hated her husband but this wasn't the time to unload all over Jess.

"Look, this was stupid. I should go back home." she told him, standing up.

Characteristically, he just shrugged. "Okay." he said.

Rory looked up at him, and something in her eyes told him that this time was different than before, that she wasn't playing with him, that she needed help.

Rory pushed back tears. She couldn't face the fact of going back, back to Logan and that life. Suddenly he stood up too and she fell into his arms. Her eyes were dry but sobs wracked her chest. She smelled him and everything came rushing back to her. Those hurried make-out sessions in his apartment, knowing that Luke could come in at any second. All those times they had fought and made up. Their talks, their friendship. The memories were almost overwhelming, threatening to buckle her knees. She didn't know that similar thoughts were running through Jess's mind until she felt him, pressed against her, becoming aroused.

She stepped back, frightened. His raw sexuality scared her, his obvious desire, even after so many years. It had been so long since Rory had felt anything even close to desire, even closeness that the idea made her want to run. Logan was safe, even if he was cruel. This was uncontrolled, different, wild. It wasn't the Jess she had known who stood before her. It was a decade of difference separating them. It was a decade of growing apart, of changing. This man in front of her seemed so distant now from anything familiar. Jess was unapologetic, just looking at her intently, those dark eyes staring at her face. Rory could already smell some of her heavy perfume on him. For an instant she wanted to go to him, kiss him, but she was terrified, didn't even know if she knew how to kiss, to feel, to love. And there was the girl in the other room. The girl whose smell was probably still all over him too, clinging to him like a possessive marker.

Flustered, Rory picked up her bag. "I shouldn't be here."

She headed to the door but Jess stepped in front of her. "What happened to you Rory?" he asked. He could have been referring to any number of things, the way she dressed, smelled, looked. Her fright, her uncharacteristic shyness. But she knew instinctively that he was asking about her specifically. About Rory. Where was Rory?

"Jess so much has changed since I last saw you." she said, suddenly a grown woman again, world weary.