"Jess so much has changed since I last saw you." she said, suddenly a grown woman again, world weary.
Jess smiled slightly at her. "I can tell." he surveyed her clothes.
Rory suddenly felt ashamed of them. They were expensive, and ugly. Matronly. Way too old for someone her age. She had unconsciously lit a cigarette. Jess looked at her, bemused.
Rory felt more self conscious than she had felt in years. Someone was looking at her, actually really looking at her, and she felt exposed under his glance.
This contemplation was interrupted by a shout from the back. "Fuck you asshole!" shouted the girl.
"Screw you, bitch!" the other man yelled, but their tone wasn't totally serious.
Jess looked amused, Rory looked concerned.
"Brother and sister." he explained, as if that answered all her questions. Rory realized that she was so out of touch with the rest of the world, she couldn't even remember what she had been like growing up. What normal people were like. The girl, Shelly, came back out, fully dressed now. "Ted put the turtle on me." she explained, flopping onto the floor in front of the couch. Jess laughed a little.
Rory sat, completely awkward, not knowing what to say.
The girl turned to her. "So what's your story?" she asked bluntly.
Rory had become so accustomed not to speaking that it was an effort now to get out words. Jess saved her from having to explain, even though he didn't know himself.
"Hey kid, give us some time." Shelly looked slightly hurt at first, then stood up with a slight shrug, put on a coat and headed to the door.
"Fine. I'll come back later, when you're hopefully not such an asshole." she closed the door behind her a little too loudly.
"Kids." Jess said to Rory's reproachful look.
"Isn't she your girlfriend?" Rory asked. Jess gave her a half smile. "Not exactly." he answered.
"Hey" interrupted Ted. "If you insist on screwing my sister would you at least keep it to your room." he said, holding up a condom wrapper. "This was by my bed."
Jess laughed a little. "Not mine." he said. Ted just shook his head a little, with a smile.
Rory's eyes widened. What kind of life were they living? How could someone she had been so close to possibly be living a life so different from hers. Didn't they care? Wasn't sex an issue? She suddenly had the intense realization that she didn't belong here, couldn't fit in in Jess's world anymore, not after so long, not after all that had happened.
She hastily stood up, grabbing her coat and putting out her cigarette. "I have to go. I have to go home." She almost choked on the word home.
"Will I see you again?" Jess asked, knowing it was pointless to try and stop her.
She nodded almost unconsciously.
Without even knowing what she was doing she half whispered "My husband has a business trip next weekend. I'll come back then."
That was all she said before she slipped out the door, down the stairs, leaving Jess staring after her completely mystified.
Rory was back at home before she was even really missed. She had been gone a total of 9 hours, round trip. She lay in bed as if she had never left, just sleeping in, calling in sick to work. She laughed a little. The whole crazy adventure, her little escape, and no one even knew about it. She was rich enough to immediately get on any flight, no delays, no thought to who was bumped. She almost wished that Logan had caught her. Either way she knew she was in the wrong to run off like that, but at least something might change between them. Would he fight for her? Get some affection back or would he let her go, scorn her? Rory was morbidly curious. How would Logan react if their perfect little family broke up?
She fell asleep, leaving a note for the maid not to disturb her. She wasn't feeling well and wanted to sleep. Just be ready to bring breakfast at the bell.
Rory felt daring almost a week later when she got ready to once again catch a flight to Philadelphia. She didn't know Jess's number, so just hoped that somehow he would be there, and they could have a weekend together, as old friends. He was obviously involved with someone but judging from the condom wrapper incident it didn't seem monogamous. Did Jess still have feelings for her? She dug deep in her closet to find something to wear, something that wouldn't make her feel as stupid as she had the last time. She told Logan to call the cell phone, it was easier to carry around. Of course Logan would call, he always did, every night, no matter what, when he was away on trips. Which he was nearly every weekend. His calls were prompt, professional and perfunctory. They lasted almost exactly ten minutes each time, asking how her day was, how the house was, if the servants were working and not giving her any trouble, telling her that his trip was going well, and oh yes, I bought you a present. No, he wouldn't tell her what, it would be a surprise. And when Rory hung up the phone she would catch a glimpse of the maids looking at each other meaningfully, envious of her. Envious of an illusion, but Rory played her part as well and kept the illusion alive, same as Logan.
So he would call on the cell phone when he called, which he would, and she would be in Philadelphia with Jess. Rory smiled. It felt pretty good being bad.
She finally found a skirt that didn't look too rich, and a more casual shirt. She packed her bag for the weekend, throwing in her sexiest panties and bras. Of course they all were sexy, rich, silky, lacy. But no one but herself ever saw them, or had seen them for years. Rory ran her hands over them, trying to feel them the way someone else would feel them. She realized that she hadn't consciously felt something in a long long time. She had gotten so used to touching she never felt anymore. And she herself was the opposite, she had gotten so used to not being touched she felt she had forgotten how to feel, to experience touch anymore. Or love, or even friendship. Those were the most abstract concepts to her now, where before they had seemed so real. Before the money it was all she had.
She called Walker, leaving a message on her cell saying she was sick this weekend, to stay away, it was probably infectious, and to call the cell if she needed something. Oh and tell the others.
Then Rory headed out the door with a sort of reckless carefree attitude that almost made her feel alive. Would have made her feel good if her stomach wasn't so knotted she could barely stand. Jess had never been the most reliable person, but surely even he would like a little more warning when someone breezed in and out of his life. And his looks said that he still cared. There had been sympathy in his eyes but they had also searched her, had seen how old and small and tired she had become.
Rory chain smoked on the way to the airport, annoyed that smoking wasn't allowed on flights. No exceptions, not even for her.
She slept through the plane ride again, arriving in Philadelphia with plane hair and sleepy eyes. But a quick trip to the crowded bathroom fixed her looks, so she grabbed her bag, got a cab and gave him the address. She had memorized it, said it a million times to herself at night to help her sleep. She was afraid of Jess, afraid of the possibilities he opened up for her. But like a horrifying car crash she couldn't stay away, no matter how much the fear paralyzed her. It was one of those moments in life where she had to choose. She could ignore it, go back home and continue with her life. Or she could begin something that she already knew would end badly. Had to end badly. There was no way to win this situation. But it promised a brief period of bliss, and that promised tantalized her. Maybe it would be a minute, maybe a week, maybe a month or more, but it seemed worth the chance.
She stepped out of the cab, handing the driver some bills and walked up to the door, ringing the bell more confidently this time.
Jess came to the door this time, a smile on his face. But Rory still knew him well enough to see her own fear reflected back to her in his eyes. He didn't know what was going to happen any more than she did.
Then without saying a word he pulled her inside. The door barely had time to shut before his mouth found hers and Rory realized with a stunned amazement that she was being kissed! For the first time in a long time she was being kissed! And not only that, she was being kissed by someone who wasn't her husband. That was the last lucid thought she had before she just gave into the feeling, her bag falling unnoticed to the floor, her hands limp at her sides. She didn't even have the power to react, to grab him, hold him to her, just stood there passive and lived the kiss.