A/N: Apparently there was some trouble with chapter 7. I'm reposting it and that hopefully should fix the problem. Sorry if you couldn't read it at first.
Rory woke up the next morning full of doubt. She didn't really regret what she had done. After all, she had just had sex with her husband. One shouldn't regret that. But she couldn't find a way to regret Jess either. So here she was, after seven years of marriage, living a double life, actually sleeping with her husband, talking to her husband, still longing for Jess. Unable to wait to see him. She couldn't figure out what to do. Was it possible to live in the middle like this? Be a creature of two worlds? Jess and Logan were completely different. She had Jess had always had this unbelievable connection, one that couldn't be defined or explained. But Logan was her husband. They had been together for more than a decade. They had been through so much together. She still loved him. Loved him like a habit she couldn't break.
She rolled over a little, then realized that it would just be too awkward to have Logan wake up next to her. So she got up quickly, throwing on a robe over her panties, the only things she was wearing, and rushed out of the room, almost laughing at herself. Running away from her own husband so he wouldn't wake up next to her. She snorted a little, holding back the laughter. Scampering away like a booty call not a wife. She sat down on a seat in the hall, laughing until her stomach cramped. The entire situation was so ridiculous. She was cheating on her husband with her high school boyfriend, now her weekend boyfriend. She had just cheated on her weekend boyfriend with her husband. She had just slept with her husband for the first time in at least five years. She had just bolted from the room where he had invited her. Rory finally straightened up, going to her own room and lighting a cigarette. Out of courtesy to Logan she hadn't smoked in his room. Then she got in the shower and got ready, giving herself the extra time she needed to look really great. Hopefully Logan wouldn't regret what they did either, or worse ignore it and pretend it never happened. She couldn't go back to that stifling dislike anymore, not after experiencing intimacy again. She couldn't exactly call it love, her husband certainly couldn't love her again so suddenly, but it was at least passion, interest, care. Maybe friendship?
By the time the weekend came, Rory and Logan had three significant moments together since their night together. He had smiled at her at breakfast that morning, and kissed her on the cheek as he left for work. She had conceded that she was quitting her job and he told her she was doing the right thing, and finally they had spent one more night together. Rory couldn't believe everything that was happening. Of course she still had to see Jess to be Rory, but at least Leigh was happier at home. Logan left early on Friday morning, and having quit her job (no two weeks, just called and said she wasn't coming back) Rory had no other obligations so she took an earlier flight out to surprise Jess.
The store was open and Ted was sitting behind the register. She smiled at him and gave him a slight wave. Her bag was packed with some clothes she intended to keep here, in Jess's closet. He hadn't offered her the space but she knew that he wouldn't mind. He was always so happy to see her. It was stuff she wouldn't wear in front of Logan anyway, t shirts and tank tops, a couple older skirts. Rory walked quietly up the stairs, waiting for the smile on Jess's face when he saw her a day early. She opened the door at the top of the stairs, looking around but didn't see Jess. He must still be asleep. She walked to his bedroom door and opened it softly, then stopped, her hand falling from the doorknob.
There was Jess, in bed, and he wasn't alone. Shelly was there in the bed with him. Rory's face burned. She felt embarrassed and angry. Jess woke up, saw her there, then looked over at the girl next to him.
Rory was about to turn, to walk away, shocked and amazed, not sure what to think. He was her Jess, the Jess who had told her he loved her, dedicated a book to her, been with her the last couple weeks, and here he was in bed with some kid. Jess jumped up, caught her arm but she shook his hand away. Shelly stirred in bed, sitting up. "What's going on?" she asked, sleepily.
"Rory's here." Jess explained.
The girl sat up. "I guess I'd better go." She grabbed her clothes from the side of the bed and walked into the bathroom to change out of her pajamas.
"What the hell is she doing here?" Rory exclaimed. She had sure found her voice this time!
Jess looked at her, amazed. "She lives here." he told her.
"In your bed?" Rory asked, furious.
"Are you still married?" He demanded in return, his voice hard. He of course already knew the answer.
His eyes stared into her and Rory felt herself withering under his gaze.
"Yes." she almost whispered.
"Did you tell your husband you wanted a divorce?" he asked, with an edge to his voice.
"No." she responded, almost mechanically.
"Did you leave him a note? Give him a hint? Ask for a trial separation?" Jess's eyes were locked onto her, hard and unyielding, and she looked down to avoid his gaze.
She shook her head slightly.
"Then you have no right to tell me what to do. I'm not yours, you have no right to have expectations for me. I'm free, I can do whatever I want. And you're an adult, you can have sex with anyone you want to, but you can't tell me who I can't have sex with."
Tears spilled from Rory's eyes.
"You're married Rory, and you don't seem in a hurry to change that. You made it perfectly clear last weekend that you intended to keep your marriage. I can't save you. I'm not even important enough for you to consider being with."
Jess grabbed his shirt and left the room, putting it on as he left.
Rory sat on the end of the bed, tears spilling down her cheeks. She looked angrily at the door where Jess had left but knew he wasn't wrong. She wasn't sure about her marriage, about Jess, about their situation. She was just here, living in the moment, so he was right, why wouldn't he do the same?
Rory got up, going after him. This time she caught his arm.
"Jess you're right, I don't own you. But I want to be with you." Rory knew she was just saying this to buy time. She didn't know what she wanted, didn't know who to choose.
He looked at her, eyes still angry.
"I'm going to tell him." She insisted to Jess. She didn't want to tell him about that slight ray of hope that had crept into her marriage and prevented her from telling Logan. "Just not yet."
"When?" Jess asked. "What are you waiting for?"
"It's just going to be this whole big deal. I'll be a pariah." Rory said.
"Who cares? You'll be far away, here in Philadelphia. You said you hated your job, well you can get a new one here. And you said you hated your friends, all those society people and functions. Forget them, start over here with me."
Rory sighed a little. "I will tell him." she repeated. "It's just not that easy to end a marriage."
He softened a little. "I know it's not, but it just seems like I don't mean anything to you. Not really."
"You could have at least talked to me." Rory said, unwilling to let go of her jealousy. Shelly emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed.
"See you later." she called to Jess as she walked out of the apartment.
Jess was defensive again. "Hey I'll take what I can get. I don't expect everything and I'm not going to wait around until everything I ever wanted falls in my lap. Life isn't like that and I don't expect it to be. So yes, I'll take companionship when I can get it, and take my job for what it is. If you want to be with me that's great, but if you only want me part time don't expect me to wait around for you."
"Jess just please give me some time to sort everything out." Rory almost begged. "It takes time. I need to figure out the job situation and the money situation and find a way to tell him. I don't know whats going to happen. We are going to be the gossip of New York high society. Just please wait for me. I want to be with you, and just you, so will you do the same for me?" At that moment she believed it, too. When Rory was around Jess all she could think was Jess. She couldn't think of her home and Logan without a small shudder of revulsion. But at home... that was different. Her need for love was so great, she had depended on him for so long, hoping for some little affection, and there it was. Home was different now. And Logan had always been able to charm her, no matter what. But at this moment Rory felt fully committed to leaving him. She wasn't lying when she said it wouldn't be easy, that there were so many factors to consider, that it would take time.
Jess looked at her, taking a deep breath. "Technically, Shelly is my girlfriend. Things have always been pretty casual between me and Shelly but we were sort of dating. You were the girl on the side, or at least it started that way. I mean she knew I was with you and I know she's been with other people, we just figured that in the end we would settle on each other. But that's changed. You aren't the girl on the side anymore, you're the one I want to be with. I just didn't really know how to tell you that I've been with her during this time too. And then when you seemed to take our relationship so casually I didn't feel the need to justify my relationship with Shelly. But I'll break up with her, because you're the one I want. And if you are committed to our relationship then I'll be committed to just you. I know it's not going to be easy, but if you are serious about ending your marriage I'll wait for you. Just tell him, start the process. It's not going to get any easier."
Rory nodded, committed to doing just that when she got back home.