Rory was sitting in the living room when Logan got back from his trip. She stood up, shaking, about to confess to him that she had been with Jess, that she wanted to be with Jess. She was still almost drunk from Jess. She could still smell him on her, smell his shampoo in her hair, feel his hands on her, his lips on her.

She was opening her mouth to blurt it out when he stopped her.

"Hey Ace." he said.

That name, his old nickname for her, stopped her tongue more effectively than anything else he could have said. He hadn't called her by a pet name since before they were married. He didn't call her anything but Leigh, and referred to her as Mrs. Huntzberger or "the wife".

"Hey Logan." she said. She noticed his eyes on her and realized that her wardrobe had changed considerably over the last few weeks. Her clothes, while still ridiculously expensive, were younger, sexier, more bold.

"I missed you." he said. Tears stung Rory's eyes. It was what she had been waiting to hear for years. Some acknowledgment. Some sign that he cared at all. And here it was, everything she had wanted for years in front of her. But was it still what she wanted?

She smiled a little. "I missed you too." she said, softly.

Logan came over, kissing her hand and Rory knew that she couldn't tell him. Couldn't confess. It wasn't possible.

"I'm taking next weekend off." He told her. "I wanted some time to be with you."

Rory's heart jumped into her throat. She didn't know what to say so she just smiled at him. What about Jess? She didn't even has his phone number, how could she let him know that she wasn't coming, couldn't come? What conclusions would he jump to? That she was done with him? That she didn't want to be with him? Would he assume that Logan hadn't left or she was sick or just couldn't make it? Would he realized that she did want to see him, was already desperate to see him although it had only been a few hours since they said goodbye at the airport.

And the other thought that occurred almost simultaneously was a happy one. Logan wanted to spend time with her!

"I'd like that." she said cautiously, trying to hide how happy that made her.

Rory agonized the entire next weekend about what Jess was thinking. They couldn't reach each other. It was better, they had both agreed. No phone numbers to find, to carelessly leave around. And Rory had made Jess fully aware of the possible repercussions of the news getting out early, before she could tell Logan. One unfortunate story in a New York newspaper could ruin everything. At least if she could talk to Logan before everything she was doing was spilled in the newspaper for everyone to read they could work something out, come to some sort of terms, have some kind of amicable separation. But if he was embarrassed by her Logan Huntzberger would be her enemy. She knew that for a fact.

But even though she was living in secret turmoil, she did enjoy the time she spent with Logan. They had watched a couple movies, went to a play, went out to dinner. It had been amazing. And she had spent every night with him, in his room.

But the next weekend Rory was once again on a plane to Philadelphia. She couldn't stay away from Jess, no matter how good her weekend with Logan had been. She craved Jess.

When he saw her though he looked less than thrilled. He didn't mention the missed weekend but he could immediately read on her face what she didn't want him to know.

"You still haven't told him." Jess said, more a statement than a question.

"No not yet. I just can't start. Logan and I don't even really talk anymore, I don't know how to bring it up." Rory knew this was a small lie but she needed some time to figure everything out. She wasn't ready to give up on either of them just yet. Or she needed something or someone to make the decision for her.

"Just tell him it's over." Jess said. "It's that easy."

"It's not that easy." Rory insisted. "Maybe I can do something, some gesture that will show him it's over. Like pierce my nose or get a tattoo or something."

Jess smiled a little. "You want to pierce your nose?"

"Well something like that. Something crazy and rebellious and you."

On a whim Rory walked into the tattoo parlor they were passing. Jess followed, with a grin on his face, enjoying this new crazy side to Rory.

"Now what should I get?" Rory asked, looking around at the designs. "What about this fish?" She felt reckless at the thought of losing Jess. She felt incapable of telling Logan. Maybe she did need to make a big gesture that would end things, one way or another. No thinking, just doing. Let something else make up her mind for her.
"You don't even like fish." Jess reminded her.

"Right." Rory wandered around a little more. The other patrons stared at her, but she didn't care. This felt like freedom.

"What about some sort of symbol." Suggested Jess.

"I don't know. Those Chinese symbols are so over done." Rory said. "I want to get something, I'm just really not sure what."

"You know you're going to regret this." Jess said.

"Probably." she agreed cheerfully. "But isn't that the point of a tattoo. You rush out and get one while you are drunk or something, love it for a year or two, slowly regret it, think about what you would have done differently, look at all the cooler designs, then spiral into complete regret of getting a tattoo at all, pay an inordinate amount of money to have it removed, which won't work so you try the whole Angelina Jolie thing, which turns out worse than the original tattoo..."

Jess finally covered her mouth with his hand to stop her tirade on tattoos and regret.

"I'm too sober for this." Rory finally stated. "I need to get drunk and then choose."

"Probably not the best idea.." Jess said cautiously.

"Since when did you become Mr. Rational. I just think I'm doing this crazy rebellion thing in my 30's I should go all out, get drunk and stupid. And it will probably be a lot easier to choose. And the design doesn't matter too much, it's the statement behind the tattoo that really matters."

Jess shrugged. "You're choice I guess. Just make sure it's something that can be covered by a cross."

"Of course." said Rory and lead him back out. "Now lets go get drunk!"

So their brilliant plan was set in motion and five hours later Rory stumbled out of the tattoo parlor giggling, an anarchy symbol on her hip.

"Oh my god I can't believe I just did that!" she exclaimed.

Jess lifted her shirt a little to look at it. "Makes you look badass." he said, then pulled her close for a kiss on the sidewalk.

"So I guess that's it.." Rory said. "When he sees that it will definitely be over. There is no way I could explain that away even if I wanted too."

Jess smiled at her. "Don't worry about that. I'll be here waiting when you're free."

He put his arm around her as they walked down the street together.

Of course Rory once again felt completely unsure once she was back at home. Logan was being nice to her, she was much more relaxed now that she wasn't working. Logan had even asked her mom to have dinner with them during the week. Luke couldn't make it, but Rory didn't care, she was excited to see her mom.

Their relationship had changed a lot since Rory and Logan had gotten married but there was always that bond between them that no amount of time, space or money could erase. Logan didn't really like Lorelai coming to visit, mostly because it made his wife happy. He didn't like when she was made happy by something that wasn't him. But this time it was different, he had invited her so his wife was grateful, which meant that he was still in control of her happiness. Logan had always enjoyed the power he had over his wife, how he knew he could make her happy or unhappy on a whim. But she was being good and she deserved this.