Jess left early the next day so that Rory could get the house cleaned up and looking perfect for Logan. She had almost decided to tell Logan as soon as he came in that she wanted out, that she couldn't bear to be here without Jess anymore. But of course he was his normal charming self when he came home, giving her a passionate kiss. And the obstacles in her way seemed insurmountable, especially with Jess so far away, not here to lend support. Rory didn't feel capable of doing all of this on her own. She didn't want to fight with Logan.
Rory spent the night in Logan's room that night, partly because she had missed him, and partly because she didn't want to make him suspicious. But that night she lay awake in his arms, unable to stop turning her life over in her mind. She couldn't understand what had made him suddenly change after all these years.
Rory realized then that the change in him had been reflective of the change in her. Here she was, being everything he ever wanted, so he was being everything she wanted. Except that once again he was basing this on a lie. She wasn't that timid, she didn't want to permanently quit working. In her excitement at being acknowledged she had nodded agreeably and went along with everything he said. She had quit her job like he wanted, agreed mutely with everything he said, no matter how much she disagreed just because they were talking again. But she didn't agree, damnit, she had a mind of her own. And she realized that their marriage was doomed. As soon as they got comfortable again, got loving again her personality would assert itself and he would become disillusioned all over again, hate her all over again. And she wasn't going to let him win, to control her to the point where she would trade her personality for scraps of attention, to where she would beg like a dog to be acknowledged, be trained to be a good little girl. She didn't want to be his little wife. She had just lost herself in a delirium of attention and acknowledgment, had been overwhelmed by that new feeling. Guilt had made her act nicer to him, treat him with more consideration, appear more timid than she was. She had been so guilty and felt so wrong that she had done anything to please him, which she now knew had been a mistake. And then her thoughts turned to Jess. He had been there for her the entire time. Had waited, more or less patiently while she figured all of this out, while she got her shit together, while she realized that Logan was always going to be an asshole so long as she was Rory. Jess loved her, really loved her, and had always loved her. And she loved him, wanted him. She couldn't even think of Logan while she was with him, so what was she doing here? Why was it so hard? Was it because of everything she was going to be giving up? Was it because she knew that she would make it into every newspaper in the city? That everyone would hate and condemn her? Rory felt like she could face that, but not alone. And she didn't want some scandal. Maybe she and Logan could resolve this quietly, privately, leaving her free to go to Jess and give him everything of herself, like he deserved. The weekend Rory he had been seeing wasn't all she was either. He saw only escaping Rory, desperate Rory, lonely Rory. He rarely got to see Fun Rory, Determined Rory, Work Rory, Bitchy Rory. And she wanted to give him everything in her, everything about her, freely and willingly because she knew that he would accept it, as she would accept everything about him. Rory stopped herself. Was this some kid love fantasy? After all this time could they really be together? Would the problems they had in the past be magically gone? They didn't talk on the phone, so she didn't know if he was still as reticent as he had always been, if he would even let her fully into his life as she wanted to do with him. And she had to tell him that she had been having sex with Logan as well. It wouldn't be easy, but she had to confess her indecision, and tell him that yes, this time she was sure, it was finally over.
And then, the shit hit fan when Logan turned over, throwing his arm around her. That gesture pulled her shirt up enough for him to see the mark engraved on her hip. She felt him stiffen behind her and knew that he had seen. Oh my god he had seen! Rory tensed in return, not knowing what to expect. Not sure what was going to happen now. Only knowing for sure that it was going to be a very long day.
To her surprise, Logan didn't say anything. He just turned around and went back to sleep. Rory held her breath, wondering if somehow he hadn't seen, he didn't know. Of course it would almost be better if he did see because Rory wasn't at all sure how she was going to tell him. She was going to end a decade long marriage when things seemed to be going well.
Rory got up and went back to her room, splashing some water on her face to clear her mind. She couldn't sleep the rest of the night. Surely Logan had seen, why didn't he say anything?
The next day he treated her with cold formality and she knew he had seen. But what was his game? Why was he pretending he hadn't? When he left for work that day Rory sat impatiently on a chair, desperately wishing she knew Jess's number and could call him. She needed someone to talk to, to confide in. What the hell was she supposed to do now? Would Logan pretend he hadn't seen it? Obviously the intimacy they had was gone now, but was that the only step he would take?
She spent an anxious day waiting for Logan to get home. When he did get home he was furious.
He burst into the room and tossed a stack of papers on the floor.
"Guess what I did today." he said. She looked at him blankly.
"Well let's start differently." he said, putting on a fake pleasant look. "So what have you been doing lately?" he asked.
Rory felt paralyzed all of a sudden. How much did Logan know? She just shook her head, not knowing what to say.
"You don't want to talk? Then listen." He stooped down and picked up one of the pieces of paper.
"Let's see, there's something about Philadelphia in here, does that sound familiar?" He asked. Rory nodded slightly. "Hmmm there's an "old friend" mentioned, a Jess Mariano." Suddenly he tossed the paper. "And then there's this." He lifted her shirt to expose the tattoo. "How long has it been there?" he asked in a low tone.
"A couple weeks." she said hesitantly.
"I told you a long time ago, no wife of mine is getting tattooed like common trash." he told her. "Why did you do it." It was a demand, not a question.
Rory debated her words for one long moment that seemed to stretch on for a long time. "I did it for Jess." she said finally.
Logan's eyes darkened and his hand darted out, slapping her once, hard, across the cheek.
Rory's hand flew to her cheek, stunned. Logan had never hit her before, never lost his temper.
"You've been sleeping around on me?" he demanded. She knew he already knew the answer. He must have hired a detective this morning to dig up information on her.
"Yes" she said simply. There was no point in lying now.
"Well that's over now." he said with finality.
"Logan I want a divorce." she said firmly, but there was a tremor in her voice.
"You want to be with him?" his voice sounded strangely calm.
"Yes, I love him." It was a relief to Rory to tell this to Logan, to his face.
"You would give up everything I offer you for this guy?" Logan looked more stunned than hurt, as if he couldn't believe it.
She nodded. "This marriage is a disaster Logan. I can't be what you want me to be and I'm tired of trying. I love Jess and I'm going to be with him."
Rory got up and quickly left the room, hurrying to her own room before bursting into tears on her bed. She wasn't sad, or angry, just nervous and emotional, and the emotion spilled out of her in seemingly endless waves. But as soon as this fit passed Rory stopped crying and just sat there, thinking about everything that was going to change. And how she was going to be free. She just needed Logan to agree to the divorce.
She went downstairs a couple hours later and found Logan there, waiting for her. Before she could say anything, Logan spoke. He was calm, his voice icy.
"I'll give you an easy divorce on one condition." he said slowly.
Rory looked at him expectantly.
"You go to Europe for three months. You leave tonight and from now until you return you don't have any contact with Jess. I mean none. No phone calls, letters, postcards, messages through friends, I mean nothing."
Rory's eyes widened. Jess would never wait around for three months with no word from her. "Why?" was all she could manage to ask. Surely he couldn't be that cruel and spiteful.
"Because I'm going to do my best to minimize the media on this. So I need you out of here. And I don't want a single bit of evidence that you had an affair out there. There is no way for you to talk to him without the possibility that someone will find out and you can bet the newspapers will jump all over it. My paper will work from this end to create good publicity, but let me assure you, if you don't obey me on this you and he are both going to burn for this."
Rory knew that he made sense, that they did have to minimize this divorce. Neither of them wanted to be fodder for the scandal papers and Logan didn't deserve that. Still, she couldn't help but feel that he was demanding this mostly out of spite. He didn't want her to be happy with Jess. He wanted to control her for as long as he could.
"So if I agree to this then we divorce, no problems?" she asked.
"As long as you don't contest the prenup." he assured her. "I don't want to drag this out any more than you do. But you can't even mention Jess to anyone until you get back. Once you are back the two of you can do whatever the hell you want, it won't be my business anymore. I'll make sure that we are legally divorced by then, you can do what you want."
Reluctantly, Rory nodded. Her heart ached at the thought of three months without Jess. And more that it would be three months during which he would wonder, and not know what had happened to her. She could only imagine how hurt and angry he would be when she came back and tried to explain to him. But it was what she had to do to be with him, to get out of her marriage. She knew that Logan was capable of a lot if she went against him. He could write whatever he wanted in his newspapers, he could write about her affair, ruin her name. He could slander Jess's bookstore, make sure it went out of business.
"Okay. If that's your condition I'll do it."
Rory slowly stood up, looking around one last time at her home before she left it, probably forever.
Then, with the arrogance of the damned, Rory stood and slowly started gathering her things. She was sure that his conditions would end her relationship with Jess forever. But staying with Logan wasn't an option either. She had to play by his rules, this one last time.