Chapter 9

Colorado Springs

April 16th 1865

"Mike are you ready to go?" Jackson asked holding out his hand.

Michaela looked around the room once more, when her eyes caught something twinkling in the afternoon light upon the dresser. "Oh no…" she sighed.

"What is it?" Jackson stepped into the room.

"Mother's brooch." She held it up, rubbing it between her thumb and forefinger. "She forgot it."

"Maybe she left it behind for a reason."

"What do you mean?" she wondered.

"Well, perhaps she wanted you to have it." He smiled.

"But, this was her favorite brooch-"

"And she wanted her favorite daughter to have it…."

Michaela looked at the piece, knowing her mother would never leave it behind… or would she? It did seem as though her mother was in better spirits when she left than when she first came to Colorado. So much had happened in the month her mother had stayed.

The wind whipped through her long hair, as she rode through the backwoods of town. Hot, stinging tears poured from her soft eyes like waterfalls. It hurt….It hurt so much, and she didn't know how to make it go away. The words…they just kept creeping into her mind.

You're not my friend anymore….It didn't mean anything…you don't mean anything thing…

Everything just burned. Her heart burned…his words burned…the situation, the time, the memory…it all burned.

She didn't even know what to think anymore. She thought everything Sully said to her was just his pain…his grief, and he didn't mean it. She didn't want to believe he meant it. But as she stood there listening to everything he was saying to her, she couldn't help but feel it. She felt the hatred.

The only thing she knew was why it hurt so badly…why it burned so badly.

She felt as though she was flying, as she kicked her heels deeper into the horse.

"I KNOW!" she screamed, feeling her release. "I know…" she cried.

Hearing the sounds of someone approaching and the shrill cry, Jackson turned around just in time to catch the final glimpse of someone falling from their horse.

"Because I love him……."

"Mike?"

Michaela broke from her thoughts and turned to Jackson. "I think you're being a bit bias."

"Your mother was happy when she left, you know."

"I suppose she was…" Michaela continued to stare at the broach.

"I think we softened her. She feels better with you being out here now," he told her.

"She does?"

"Yes ma'am. I told her I'd keep an eye on you." He rubbed her shoulder.

Michaela's eyes shot to her arm, and she hugged them tightly around herself.

Jackson removed his hand from her arm. "Sorry….I…I didn't-"

"Jackson, I appreciate everything that you've done for me in the past month, truly I do. It's just that I'm not ready for anything beyond a friendship right now. You know-"

"I know that you were hurt Michaela, and whatever this Sully did to you, I'm sorry. You didn't deserve to be treated that way, and-"

Michaela turned away and looked out the window. "He didn't mean it."

She felt herself falling…falling from the sky as she was flying. The world tumbled around her, and all she saw was the blueness of the sky and lush greenery of the trees. She felt her body crash onto the earth, and she let out a soft moan. She didn't move, and she didn't breathe. She lay still, hoping the world would just open up and drag her in so she didn't have to feel the pain.

He ran to the fragile heap that was lying on the earth. As he got closer, her frame became familiar. "MIKE!"

He knelt down beside her. "Mike, are you alright? Are you hurt?"

She pulled her hand up over her eyes, blocking out the sun. "I fell…."

"I knew I shouldn't have let you go off by yourself!" He scolded.

"I'm okay." Her lips quivered, as she tried to get up.

"I know better than that. You were tearin' out of here like a bat outta hell!"

"I told you I had to see a frie-" She caught herself. "I had to see someone."

"You told me earlier that you were going out to see a friend. Friends don't usually make one another cry." He held up her chin.

"He's under a lot of stress right now."

"He?" Jackson became worried.

"He didn't mean what-"

"Mike, he hurt you?"

Michaela remained silent. He hurt me with his words, she thought.

Jackson took her silence as an affirmation.

"Where is he? He has no right to lay a hand on you!"

"Jackson, no!" She grabbed his arm. "Sully didn't hurt me."

"Sully?"

"He's the one hurting, Jackson."

"I know I don't know the whole story, Mike, but that man was a fool to let you go."

"I don't want to talk about him anymore. He's gone and not coming back…I don't even know where he is."

"If Sully was really your friend, he would have told you where he was going before he packed up and left," Jackson told her.

'We better go before it gets dark out." Michaela changed the subject.

"Yes, you're right. Let's go." He eyed her.

As they were descending the stairs, Michaela looked up toward Jackson. "You didn't tell me where we're going."

"It's a surprise, come on!"

Manitou

April 21st 1863

"Where have ya been? I've been lookin' for ya for days!" He held onto her. "I thought ya were dead!"

Abigail threw her arms around Sully and held him tight. "I was so scared, Sully!" she cried.

"What happened? I came home, and you weren't there… and Hannah was just cryin!" Tears came to his own eyes.

"Oh my God, Hannah!" Abby pulled away looking into Sully's eyes. "Is she alright? I forgot all about her!"

"Forgot?" Sully gasped. "She's a baby! How could you just forget about her?"

"I…I was just so scared!" Abby shook, as she thought about that night.

"Abby I found a union officer in the barn…dead."

"Union officer?" she pulled away. "I didn't see…it wasn't…you."

"What happened? Are you okay?" He looked into her eyes.

"You didn't come home…it was Saturday. Sully, I was so worried that you weren't coming back. I knew you were mad at me." Abby looked into her husband's eyes with complete confusion. How could she even begin to tell him how she felt? She couldn't even explain it herself. It was as though she was crawling out of her own skin.

"Not come back…Abby, no! I would never do that to you!" He pulled her into his embrace again. "I just got held up huntin' is all. God, I'm sorry. I should of never left ya."

"It…it was Saturday night," she remembered. "And I thought I heard something outside in the barn…I thought you were finally home. "

"Did he hurt you?" Sully looked into her eyes, hoping to God he didn't.

"No…I…I brought the gun outside with me. I didn't know who it was at first, and I was frightened. But as I got closer to the barn, I thought I saw you inside…but it wasn't."

Sully listened contently at his wife's words.

"Someone grabbed me from behind…I knew it wasn't you." Tears started to spread from Abby's eyes. "He grabbed for the gun, and that's when it went off. I…I didn't even think. I just started to run. I wanted to get away from him."

Sully again pulled a shaking Abigail into his arms. He was beating himself up inside. Why didn't he come home sooner. He should have never left his family alone.

'Ya got all of Colorado out lookin for ya," he told her. "I had to find ya before anyone else did."

"Why…what's going on?"

"Abby… the army's lookin' for ya," he whispered.

"For me? Why?" Her heart pounded.

"Come here…sit down." Sully led her to sit under a nearby tree.

"Sully, what's goin' on?"

"I came home the next mornin', and I found Hannah just screamin' in her crib-"

"Hannah…is she alright?" Abby looked down, completely ashamed of herself.

"She's alright. She's stayin' with Dorothy right now so I could come out and look for ya."

A flood of relief washed over her. She didn't know what she would have done if her daughter was harmed. She wouldn't have been able to live with herself if anything had happened. She knew she was already a horrible mother.

Sully grabbed his wife's hands and looked deep into her eyes. "After I found Hannah and calmed her down, I went to go look for you. I saw that the barn door was open, so I thought maybe ya were in there milkin' the cow or somethin' and didn't hear Hannah cryin'. When I opened the door, that's when I saw him lyin' there on the floor."

"I didn't even know if I shot him…it just went off, and I ran…I didn't even look back." She shuttered.

"The army came a little while after that…they were looking' for him. They thought I shot him. "

Abby's eyes frantically searched those of her husband's. "Oh my goodness… Are you alright? What did they do?"

"I had to explain to them that I just found him here in the barn and that you were missin'." Sully exhaled as he recalled the events. "That's when they saw the shot gun lying next to him on the ground."

"I was so scared, Sully! I didn't know what to do. I thought he was going to kill me…so I ran." She shielded her head in Sully's chest and sobbed.

"The army's lookin' for ya. They just want to ask you a few questions. We have to go back to Colorado Springs."

"I…I don't know if I can go back there," she worried.

"Abby, you gotta. If you don't, it's gonna look suspicious. They could be turnin' this all around for all we know." Sully tried to comfort her inconsolable cries. "Just tell them what you told me. Everything's gonna be fine…I promise."

Denver

May 10th 1866

"That's an awful expensive ring ya ordered there." The jeweler held it up to the light. "She must be something special."

"She is." His smile grew, as the jeweler placed the ring into the box and handed it to him. "I just hope she says yes. "I don't know how any woman could say no. Not after laying eyes on that rock!" he laughed.

"She's been though a lot. I…I just hope she's ready for this."

"I hope she is too," the man sympathized.

His smiled grew even wider at the thought of asking Michaela to marry him. He imagined taking her hand and placing the ring on her. There was so much that he wanted to give her, and he knew that this could be just the beginning. He would help her forget her past troubles and walk into the future with him as his wife.

'Well, I got a train to catch."

"Good luck!" he wished.

"Thanks…I'm gonna need it."

Colorado Springs

April 16th 1865

"Jackson, where are we going?" Michaela laughed.

"Don't get your petticoats in a twist. We're almost there!" He pulled the wagon around the bend.

Michaela looked at the vast land before her and smiled at how beautiful everything seemed to be. She hadn't been this content in awhile. She knew it was partly due to Jackson. He had done everything he could to keep her mind off of her troubles. He had been so nice to her and to her mother. But she had this feeling that Jackson wanted to become more than friends with her, and she wasn't ready for that step…not after what happened with Sully.

Sully…was she ever going to get him out of her mind? She had tried to so many times. She wished for many things. She wished she knew where he was…if he was okay. She wished she wouldn't have let herself care. And sometimes, in her darkest hours, she wished that she never met him so she wouldn't be instilled with so much pain when she thought of him.

"Jackson, do you think my mother was truly happy when she left?" Michaela asked once more.

"Well, aside from the fact that she had to leave you…yes I do. She seemed much more at ease." He thought back to the dinner they had the night before she left and how Mrs. Quinn told him to watch out for her daughter, and how she needed someone to be there for her and support her.

"I'm glad, because after that fight, I didn't think she would ever approve of anything I would ever do."

Jackson couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah that was a dilly!" he commented.

"I guess I just don't understand why she disapproved against Sully so much….I mean, I guess I can see why now…after he just packed up and left. But it seemed as though she disliked him from the very beginning."

There were so many things Jackson didn't know about Sully. They had never even met or seen one another. Jackson didn't even know that Sully was married. She didn't want him to know. She didn't want anyone to know that she was in love with a married man.

In love…Is that still what she felt? She didn't know anymore. The only thing she did know was she didn't want to feel this way anymore. She wanted to move on. She wanted to be happy again.

"I don't know what I would have done if she really would have left that day."

"Michaela are you okay? I just saw Mr. Tate outside, and he said you were thrown from your horse, and he brought you back."

"I'm fine. I wasn't hurt."

"I think your tears say otherwise. What happened, Michaela?"

"I'm fine, Mother. I was just coming back from speaking with Sully."

"Speaking of Mr. Sully, Michaela, why didn't you inform me that he was married?" she questioned.

"I…I don't know." She closed her eyes, but the tears remained.

"Are you going to explain to me all this nonsense? Or, am I going to have to go speak with this… Mr. Sully."

"Mother, no! It's none of your business what goes on between Sully and I."

Elizabeth rose from the bed. "Sully and you…what are you trying to say, Michaela?"

"I'm not trying to say anything!" Michaela yelled back, as more tears gushed from her eyes. "It's over!"

"It's over?" she questioned. "What are you…my God!" she realized. "Michaela Ann Quinn, do not tell me you were having an affair with this…this savage!"

"Affair…" the word stung her. No, she wasn't having an affair. That would imply…that would mean… Oh God… Is that what she was having? Is that what everyone would see it as? Is that what Abigail saw it as?

"Michaela, answer me!" Her voice rose.

"I…we…didn't know it had gotten that far." Her stomach became upset.

"I cannot believe you! After everything Marjorie went though! Haven't your father and I taught you anything, Michaela…anything at all!'

"I didn't know…I didn't know!" She fell back onto the bed and wept.

Elizabeth continued to eye her daughter. "Did he tell you he wasn't married?"

Michaela couldn't look at her mother. "No, he… told me the night we stayed at the reservation. He told me how-"

"You spent the night with him!" She was aghast.

"Mother…there was a blizzard. I wouldn't have made it back to town. We…we were stranded in a teepee!"

"And I suppose it was just you and him!"

"Nothing happened! He slept on the opposite side of the tent!"

"How chivalrous!" She turned away.

"Why won't you believe me when I say nothing happened!"

"Because you just told me something did! Did you forget that, or do you just want to retract it?"

"Fine, you want me to tell you what happened? I can tell you're so bent up on hearing some sordid story!"

"I want to hear no such thing! I just can't believe I'm sitting here listening to my youngest daughter telling me she's having an affair with a married man! What would your father think!"

Michaela bit her tongue. She tried with all her might to control her raging nerves. She had no idea why she felt the need to tell her mother. Maybe it was because she didn't want her mother to think less of her…or her father. Deep down inside of her, she still needed the approval of her parents to make her feel whole.

"The night Sully's daughter almost died- "

Elizabeth held her hand to her heart. "He has children, Michaela! How could you even think about coming between a family!"

"Mother, his wife wasn't even there. She was-"

"Oh, and I suppose that makes it alright! There is a name for women like that in the world today, Michaela!"

Michaela couldn't take it anymore and exploded. "He kissed me! That was it! He kissed me, and it didn't mean anything to him!" Elizabeth stood there in shock, listening to her daughter's outburst. Slowly, she turned around and looked into her eyes. "And what did it mean to you?"

"Michaela…Michaela, we're here." Jackson broke her from her silent thoughts.

"Where are we?" She looked around and noticed several men building a rather large-sized house and building toward the edge of the creek.

"Come on. I'll show you." Jackson hopped from the wagon and held his hand out for Michaela, lifting her onto the ground. Once she was planted safely, he grabbed her hand and briskly walked toward the house.

"Jackson, slow down," she giggled.

"Oh, sorry, Mike. I just got so excited. My ma always said when I get excited about something the world ceases to exist." He grinned.

"I think I would like to meet your mother someday. She seems like a very wise lady," Michaela retorted.

Jackson just smiled. "Come on!"

"What…what is this?" She looked around in amazement at all the workers.

"It's mine!" His eyes widened.

"Yours?" she questioned.

"This is my house," he pointed. "And this is the beginning of my Colorado Springs Lumber Yard!" He pulled her around back.

"I…I can't believe you got it started already. You've only been here a little over a month!" She was amazed.

"Well, remember when I told you about my friends back in Nevada and how I was going ask them if they would come out here and get me started?"

"Yes.."

"Well, they did!" he laughed.

"You sure have devoted friends, Jackson." She smiled.

"This…this right here is my dream." He pointed to his house. "I've been waiting to settle down. Build a house." He turned to Michaela and looked into her eyes. "I'm going to like it here in Colorado."

"Hey, Tate, who's the lady?" One of the men approached the couple.

"Ben," Jackson acknowledged. "This is Dr. Quinn."

"Pleased to meet you." Michaela held out her hand.

"Hey men, come on over here! Tate's got a girl!"

"BEN!" Jackson chastised.

"Pleased t' meet ya ma'am." He turned back around and shook her hand. "A doctor, ya say?"

Michaela shook her head, a little uncomfortable.

"What'd ya do Tate? Go off and get hitched when we weren't lookin?" He slapped him on the back.

"No." He too was becoming tense.

More men started to crowd around and ogle at the woman standing next to their friend.

"Congratulations, Tate! We didn't think ya had it in ya!" they cheered. "Ya old sly dog!"

Jackson looked over at Michaela and noticed she was looking away, highly embarrassed.

"Guys, guys! Hold on a minute. We're not married!"

"Awww…" they all sighed.

Jackson rolled his eyes. "If you'll excuse us."

Jackson ushered Michaela onto the steps of the unfinished wrap around porch. "I'm sorry, Mike. I didn't think they would assume we were together."

"It's alright…" She looked down.

"No, it's not. It bothered you. I could tell. I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

"I'm fine." Michaela couldn't help but smile at his concern. "There is something you could do for me though."

"Oh, and what's that, Dr. Quinn?"

"You could give me a tour of your house, Mr. Tate," she laughed.

"It would be my pleasure!" He held out his arm and walked though the door.

Spring 1871

"Who's it from Sully?"

"Someone named Laura. She said she knew Abby when she was in prison." He read the letter.

"What does she want?"

"She wants t' meet with me."