My Special Story: LINK HAS FEELINGS TOO

The Minish Crap

CDCB: 'ello my name is 'Arry Po'er! JK! it's the crazy, insane, mental, cakedoughnutschickenboob! woot i'm back with yet another hilarious (at least i think it is) chapter! I am sorry about the short chapter, but Link is here too! do the disclaimer Link! ...Link? Bloody 'ell! Link has been kidnapped! hey, 'lil British kid... today's ur big break!

'lil British kid: 'ello i'm the 'lil British kid an' 'ere is what CDCB does not own: me (thank god), the chipmunks (who will rule the world one day or at least kick some major squirrel ass), the cowz, clownz, evil demon chickens, warriors, Star Wars, Star Treck, or mutant flying monkeys (whoever actually wants to own this stuff is v. v. screwed up...or extra sugar high)! tell me if u see 'Arry Po'er... even if i wuz murdered in the last chapter...

Demon-Chicken-Cow-Liking-Clown-Controlling-Warriors?

"What the Hyrule is a demon-chicken-cow-liking-clown-controlling warrior?" Link asked open eyed and ready to learn.

"Oh that..." Ezlo started, "I wuz jus seeing if u were listening and to create a cliff hanger for our viewers(s) WHO REALLY SHOULD REVIEW!"

Day 4: found myself asleep and with Ezzy (cool nickname...or not so i'll just shut-up) on my head! i wuz really pissed off and attempted to punch him. attempted meaning that i totally missed him and hit my face (crap it HURT!). i can't stop thinking about the fat man in the spandex. what did he mean by "the force." either he wuz a dedicated Star Wars fan, or just screwed in the head. i've never seen tighter spandex in my life. Ezzy is staring at me right now... i think he might need serious help...right away!

"Can i help u?" Link asked lifting up the ball-point pen he was writing in his journal with and placing it gently behind his ear.

"Huh?" it said looking around. "Sorry, i wuz just thinking of this kid i knew when i wuz studying in England. His name was Theodore Kabuki."

"What's England?" Link pondered and then froze. That kid, the one he murdered, and is being forced to be CDCB's slave, his nametag said Theodore Kabuki. Link also pondered why his last name wuz Kabuki. it wuzn't very British at all. what wuz British? what wuz England? who am i? why r we here? why, oh why, is this train of thought going on so long?

Day 4 and 4 minutes 27 seconds wait 28...29...30...31...damn, my watch just broke: i'm bored so i guess i should listen to HPH!

Link: So what do we do know?

Ezlo: well i could teach u the way of the Minish...

Link: what the Spyro?

Ezlo: let's not be rated M Link and remember this is a ZELDA FIC!

Link: Din! ...soo what's a Minish?

Ezlo (sighing): a Picori

Link: like my blade

Ezlo: yes!

Link: the little elf things!

Ezlo: yes! Linkiby (ahhh)...this spandex hat material makes it hard for me to move... can i sit on ur head again?

Link: but ur all fat and my hair looks hot without you messing it up! i'm going for the preppy look.

Link suddenly remembered something his mother told him when he was 5

Really RANDOM Flashback:

Link: Mummy can i have an apple?

Mother: sorry Link we only have chickens in our yard.

Link: but don't the chickies lay apples?

Mother (picking up an egg): they lay eggs dear. see.

Link: but that's an apple

Mother: say it with me honey, egg! E-G-G.

Link: then what's an apple?

end of flashback (thanx Hotari for the idea!)

Link: why did i think of that?

Ezlo: another random flash back?

Link: yep!

Ezlo: let's get back to our training

Link: we started?

Ezlo: NO BACK SASS just for that i'm sitting on ur head.

Link: okay, whatever so what's first.

Ezlo(smiling smugly on Link's head): jump on that log!

Link: why should i?

Ezlo(shouting): i'll kick ur sorry 'lil ass if u don't!

Link: but u don't have any legs to kick me with

Ezlo: but i do have the power to (dun dun dun) NAG

Link: okay i'm on the log!

Ezlo: now i will sing u an ancient Picori song (qrfednu wjvkjgbnj vjhaejighqio nfshgauehjm)

Link (about the average size of a lady bug): i wuz already short, thank-you very much.

Ezlo (laughing and sounding much like Link): u sound like u swallowed a bucket of helium.

Link: thanx! what do we do now?

Ezlo: go across the pond.

Link (jumping in the water and drowning): i thought i knew how to swim! help!

Ezlo (safe, dry, and answering his cell phone): what Link killed Theodore Kabuki? really? he can't come to the phone he's slowly drowning to his death...uh huh...i'll tell him...LINK UR A WANTED MAN IN ENGLAND...AND BRITISH

Link (still drowning to death): i (glub) don't even know what (glub) England or (glub) British is!

Ezlo: much to learn u have

Link: YODA? what r u doing here. so how's skywalker? Zelda says he's hot! can u get Luke to take her away so she does not stalk me!

Ezlo just stares blankly

Day 5: after basically drowning all night, HPH gave up and called the Picori scuba diving team! man wuz i ever mad at him...and i still let him use my head as a perch. i am much too nice 4 my own good! we r spending the night in the Picori village. i can't under stand what the...um yeah...they r saying! GRRRR! this totally is screwing me up!

Picori: ksdhcfk cklssnbdkjghdk jfhajjhalg?

Link (slowly craking up and twiching): BOO!

Picori (offended): hmf

Ezlo: u r a rude 'lil "hero!" ...on drugs much?

Link: what did i do?

Ezlo: you said that he was a stupid, little creeper and that he should go home!

Link: but i said a one syllable word, BOO!

Ezlo: well i never.

brief pause of boredom

Ezlo: why don't u look 4 some one that does speak Hylian!

Link: (cue dramatic music) but, but what if i don't want to?

will Link find the old fart that speaks Hylian? will Ezlo start humming the Picori Shrinking song? will Link be found before CDCB is killed by the 'lil British kid or is there another possibility what his secret is? FIND OUT NEXT CHAPTER!

CDCB: did u like it! since i need reviews this time i shall use a threat!

'lil British kid (eyes wide open): what r u gunna do CDCB?

CDCB: R&R or i will come to ur house with a potato sack!

'lil British kid: 'hat's not so 'ad

CDCB (angry): i wasn't finished! i will then find ur room

'lil British kid: still not 'hat 'ad

CDCB: NOOOO! inside the bag is Michael Jackson and he will rape u all (buah ha ha ha ha)

'lil British kid (shuttering): that is scary but, i have a secret (cue dramatic music)

a thank-you to my reviewers lilbritt, Hotari, and Sarah from hotmail! it is nice to know people actually read my fic!

-CDCB