-Disclaimer: InuYasha is the property of the talented Rumiko Takahashi
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-To Come To Me
-Chapter V
-Clarity
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Kagome was happily surprised by the pace that Lord Sesshomaru insisted upon when they began their
travels that first morning and she suspected he had adjusted his normal pace to suit her. InuYasha always
insisted on a fast pace, with Kagome riding on his back. Now they moved slow enough that she could walk
if she chose to, but brisk enough that she was grateful that Ah-un was nearby while so she could take a break
and ride with Rin after a little while.
Even so she found herself missing her normal mode of transport, the feeling of his hands on her legs
and his hair brushing randomly over her face. She was missing a lot of things about InuYasha, not that she
was willing to admit it. Not yet anyway.
Sesshomaru himself had been happily surprised in the enjoyment he found by the change of pace another
human female brought to the group. He was long used to Rin's constant chatter but even she gave up after
awhile when all she received in return was silent nods from Lord Sesshomaru and disgusted grunts from
Jaken.
Kagome on the other hand liked to chatter herself and the two kept up a bright and lively conversation the
entire afternoon. They looked for pictures in the clouds and giggled at Jaken's offhand comments about the
lack of peace and quiet. Kagome in fact joined in Rin's attempts to draw out the grumpy vassal and Lord
Sesshomaru noticed with some surprise that the two had actually managed to draw him into their games a
time or two.
"Look Rin" Kagome pointed up "That cloud looks just like a bear yokai claw."
"Hmmp" Jaken had grumbled "Unobservant human, Any yokai could tell you that more resembles the claw
of a panda yokai"
"A panda is a bear Master Jaken" Rin argued
"Hmmp" Jaken went back to his private grumbling
And so it had gone on, Jaken becoming more interested in their game while hiding it under the guise of
correcting the 'simple humans'
They made camp just before sunset, having reached the coast and Kagome sat on an outcropping of rocks
with Rin to watch the fading sunlight turn the normally blue waters into a riot of colorful waves and peaks
that shimmered back to the huge orange yellow disk that sat on the end of the water.
Long after Rin had scampered off and fallen asleep, followed by Jaken, Kagome still remained on the
rocks, her eyes now resting on the expanse of silvery blue water reflecting the nearly full moon.
Sesshomaru had watched her in silence from the distance of the campfire, at first wondering if her intent
might be to release her tiny frame to the jagged rocks below, but as she didn't move even as the moon did he
became more relaxed in his observance, wondering what was going through her mind.
Was she regretting leaving InuYasha? Did she wish to return? If that were the case he would return her
without hesitation, she had only to say the words. Still, Sesshomaru sensed that wasn't it.
He wondered at his own thoughts as well. He had been filled with the strangest feelings that night in the
clearing when he restored her life. A desire to protect her, to shelter her. His intense rage at InuYasha's
refusal to turn from the undead miko and that it had led to Kagome's death, had surprised him.
Sesshomaru had long admitted, at least to Rin and himself, a respect for the miko's kindness and caring.
But when had that turned to feelings of kindness and caring of his own towards her?
He could say honestly that it was only Tensaiga's persistence and a bit of morbid curiosity that had led
him to follow the scent of her blood to the clearing that night, leading to the restoration of her life. He had
in fact turned away at one point, if she had wished to die he had no reason to interfere with her wish.
It was Tensaiga's force that had stopped him from leaving her dead, not any desire on his own part to
save her. Yet somewhere in that short space of time he had started to care.
He started to care very much.
That was why he had revived her even after InuYasha's lame attempt to
assuage his own guilt by claiming to love her.
That bastard half-breed was unworthy of her. The half-breed would NEVER be worthy of her. He
would have never been so careless as to allow her to hurt herself in her pain.
Sesshomaru swore to himself that night, if InuYasha would not protect the girl, then he would watch over
her. And should InuYasha attempt to abandon her again…. Well, He would send
InuYasha and his bitch to hell where they belonged if they hurt Kagome again.
HE would not allow it.
Sesshomaru mentally shook himself from his dangerous thoughts, marveling again at how easy it had been
to get to that point. He lifted his hand to his face and unclenched his fist. Poison ran down his arm, mixing
with his blood where his claws had cut into his palm.
He reached inside his hoari for a handkerchief and wiped away the poison and blood, shaking his head at
himself as the cloth disintegrated under his poison, then he licked his palm until his crescent shaped cuts
were sealed. He tossed the tiny bit of cloth left from his handkerchief into the fire and sighed, looking to
where Kagome still sat on the outcropping of rocks, trying to think of a reason to disturb her. He spied her
sweater sitting atop her backpack and picked it up, slowly making his way towards her.
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We Interrupt this fanfiction for an important announcement.
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Ihope this isn't going to seem snotty or rude, but I am very frustrated and this seems like my only
alternative since some people seem determined to skip reading the notes and then continue to ask the same
question over and over again which gets more annoying and frustrating than you can imagine.
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NO!!!!!!!!
THIS IS NOT A KAGOME /SESSHOMARU PAIRING!!
NOW WILL YOU PLEASE QUIT ASKING ME THAT AND SENDING ME RUDE PMS
THREATENING TO STOP READING MY STUFF IF I PAIR UP KAGOME AND
SESSHOMARU?!!!
That is all
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We now return you to our regularly scheduled programming
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InuYasha sat in the branches of the tree he had chosen to sleep in that night as carefully as a human
might chose a hotel. It was tall, taller than the trees he usually chose when his purpose was to be able to
have agood view of their surroundings.
This tree had been chosen as a refuge, an escape. His haven from the looks the others had been giving
him all day while they traveled. Once their discussion and InuYasha guilt trip down memory lane had
concluded and they got on the move again.
He tried to stay ahead of the others but they traveled on Kirara and she could move just as fast, if not
faster, than he could. Finally he had yelled at them to leave him be, they backed off and he had retreated
back into his own thoughts. That was so much worse. While their looks had spoke of sadness and empathy
with little bits of pity and anger, they weren't as bad as the things that lurked inside his own mind.
His own torture was more heinous than anyone else could have dished out.
So many accusations, a constant mantra of 'how could you do that to Kagome' became almost like
background music to the hanyou's tortured thoughts. It's all my fault, look what I've done Sesshomaru is
right, I am an ignorant half-breed.
And as bad as that was, it all paled in comparison to what he saw if he dared to close his eyes or let his
mind cloud over. Then he always went back...back there, the last place he ever wanted to go...
-Flashback-
InuYasha held Kikyo, waiting while she endured another horrible attack of dizziness from the shouki that
polluted her body. He worried a
little, these attacks were happening to her more and more. It was the
reason he had come.
"Kikyo, Let me go get Kagome, maybe she can purify you like before…"
"No, leave her sleep InuYasha. I don't wish her to misunderstand, besides" she stopped him when he
started to protest "I don't think she could help much. My time is beginning to grow short now InuYasha.
I needed to see you...I want you to give Kagome something…"
"Kikyo…come back with me then, you can give whatever it is..."
They were cut off when Kagome interrupted
"InuYasha."
'She's smiling...but it's...it's not real...it's not Kagome...'
'Oh no…Kagome…'
"Kagome….what are…"
'Kami…why does she have… an arrow?…she doesn't even have her...Kami she's going to…oh no…fuck no Kagome!'
"I love you InuYasha, I always have."
'FUCK…FUCKING NO KAGOME!'
"Kagome…No!"
With his first step towards her Kagome thrust the arrow into her heart.
'KAGOME!!! OH KAMI! KAGOME NO!'
InuYasha caught her before she hit the ground. He cradled her in his arms and brushed the hair from her
face.
"Kagome…why?…Why did you do this!?"
"InuYasha…"
Kikyo had attempted to approach while she lay dying, and she …they were to blame.
'All our fault Kikyo! Damn it! We don't even love each other anymore, we've both said so! What the fuck
are we even doing here??'
"Get the fuck away!"
He hadn't even noticed as Kikyo's Shinidamachu lifted her away.
"Kagome…" He kissed her forehead and then her lips as his tears poured down his cheeks, dripping
onto her face. "Why….Why did you do this? Why?"
"Inu…Yasha…" She opened her eyes and gazed lovingly into his eyes.
"Ka…gome…I don't want you to die…don't go…"
"Thank you InuYasha"
"For what?"
"Leaving her, just once, to come to me"
Her eyes…oh kami, those eyes that had always danced and mesmerized him …they were so flat and lifeless,
'she's dead...Kagome...she...oh kami no...my fault...all my fault...'
He barely remembered reaching out to close her eyelids but he remembered the feeling of kissing her
'Kami' he could still remember thinking 'they're so warm, so soft.'
He still remembered the taste of her on his lips, so sweet.
'Kagome, please…open your eyes and kiss me back...Kagome...I'm so sorry, so fucking sorry'
"I love you too Kagome"
'Too late bastard, she can't even hear you...'
Her body was beginning to cool and he thought to wrap himself around her to share his warmth.
'fucking thing!' he cursed the arrow that hindered his attempts to hold her. ' isn't it enough you took her
fucking life? Now you wont even let me hold her? Well FUCK YOU!'
He remembered pulling the arrow from her chest and the way the moonlight seemed to make the tip glow.
He stared in fascination…and the more he stared the more he realized that the arrow was his way back
to her. He clutched it in both of his hands…
"Who's interests do you think to serve by taking your life half breed? Do you think you will find her
spirit in the underworld?"
Sess…Sesshomaru?
"What are you doing here Sesshomaru?"
"Do not answer this Sesshomaru's question with a question."
"Fuck you."
Things were blurry after that, he just remembered that Sesshomaru was really pissed off, he didnt think
he had ever heard Sesshomaru so pissed.
"This Sesshomaru holds the power to revive the one you mourn and you say fuck you?"
"You came to save Kagome?"
"Tensaiga summoned me for the miko."
"You would revive her?"
"For a price."
'Tessiaga, it's always about Tessiaga isn't it Sesshomaru.'
"You bastard…I should have known."
He crawled back to Kagome, then reached for the fang…
'Only for you Kagome…only your life this this precious to me…'
"Take it. You win. Just bring her back."
He brushed her bangs from her face.
'Kami, she's so beautiful'
"As much as this Sesshomaru would like to accept the fang little brother, you know as I do that a sword
that burns my hand is useless to me."
"Then what the holy FUCK do you want Sesshomaru?! Do you want me to kill myself? Please, by all
means. Just make sure Kagome gets to the village safely."
"It is not your life I wish."
InuYasha nearly jumped at the rage in Sesshomaru's eyes. He could understand why HE would have felt
it, but, why did Sesshomaru seem to care so much about Kagome all of a sudden?
"What do you want from me Sesshomaru? Quit with the fucking games and tell me what you want to
bring Kagome back."
"That is simple. I wish for the answer to a question."
"What the …"
"One answer InuYasha…Tell this Sesshomaru why I should bring the miko back when you will only
subject her to more pain? When you will continue to chose a dead woman over a beautiful living
breathing woman with a kind generous heart? Tell me why I should allow you to destroy her spirit when
you leave her time after time for an abomination of clay that lives off of stolen spirits?"
'But I won't...I...don't want Kikyo...only Kagome...I'll never leave her again.'
"Tell me why I should restore her life when she will hate me for doing so? When the first time she sees
you with your dead bitch she will only wish to end it again?"
' I LOVE HER YOU STUPID FUCK!' he tried to scream but he was surprised as his voice came out in choked sobs
"Bbbbbecause I love her."
"That means little when you claim you love the other as well half breed."
'But I don't, not anymore, not like I do Kagome…I haven't for a long time.'
Sesshomaru stood over Kagome, Tensaiga pulsing wildly, and slashed through the pallbearers from the underworld. Slowly her eyes blinked open.
InuYasha didn't even notice that Sesshomaru had left.
"InuYasha? What happened? Did I get hurt? I…"
He was overcome by shame as her memory seeped into her mind.
"I killed myself."
"Kagome I'm so sorry, I promise, never again. Never."
She pushed him away
"I wish I could believe you InuYasha, but I…I don't."
'oh kami…I think…I think I just lost her forever.'
His heart began to ache anew.
-end flashback-
InuYasha sighed and looked at the nearly full moon.
'Kagome...I miss you. Come back to me... Please…'
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Kagome shivered as the breeze off the ocean kissed her face and tossed her hair about her
shoulders. He thoughts were almost as wild, nearly as fleeting, but they always went back to the same place
eventually.
'InuYasha…'
She was beginning to be disgusted with herself. Fifteen days ago she had thrust an arrow into her own
heart because of her pain over his lingering relationship with Kikyo. Let's not forget to add a little salt to
the wound by remembering that she was using a part of Kagome's soul to do it. So what if it had been
Kikyo's in the past. Possession is nine-tenths of the law. Kikyo had her life, she had her chance for
happiness with InuYasha…
'InuYasha…'
Again it all came back to InuYasha.
In the rush of the day when the others were awake she had been able to mostly keep him out of her mind.
She had played with Rin and they enjoyed aggravating Jaken, both secretly, if perversely, hoping to see
Sesshomaru knock him in the head with another rock.
Never happened though. Kagome figured Jaken was too much of a weenie to push the scary Lord too far.
"Kagome?" Sesshomaru's voice was strong yet hesitant behind her and she turned slightly to see him
standing behind her holding her sweater.
"Hello Lord Sesshomaru" She smiled softly to him, silently telling him it was okay for him to join her.
"The wind off the water has a chill, this Sesshomaru thought you might be cold." He knelt and opened the
sweater at her back.
"Oh, thank you." Kagome allowed him to help her into the sweater.
"Would you like to join me Lord Sesshomaru?"
"This Sesshomaru does not wish to intrude." His expression told another story however and Kagome smiled
and touched his arm.
"It's okay, your not. Really. Except…" She bit her lip nervously
"Except?" Sesshomaru looked at her questioningly
Kagome's face turned an adorable shade of pink and she giggled a little.
"Except?" Sesshomaru prodded
"It's nothing, silly really…I just wonder if we might be a little less formal."
"Less formal?" He questioned, his brow crinkling slightly.
"Uh…less 'this Sesshomaru' and more I and me?"
Sesshomaru nodded, a slight smile crinkling the corners of his mouth.
"If you wish Kagome."
"Thank you. Lord Sesshomaru…I…"
"Kagome, I give you leave to be less formal in your address of this Sess…of me as well."
Kagome smiled, delighted when he smiled back. "Sesshomaru, I wondered if I could ask you something?"
"Ask what you wish, I, however, retain the right to not answer."
Kagome smiled again "Fair enough. I was just wondering …why?"
"Why?"
"Why did you come that night and why did you revive me? I know very well your feelings about InuYasha
and I have always believed they extended to me and the others as well. I don't understand why you would
revive me."
Sesshomaru sighed "The simple answer is that at what I believe was the moment of your death Tensaiga
pulsed at my side, sensing a soul worthy of restoration. When I scented the air I recognized your blood scent
and the half-breeds scent and felt I should investigate."
Sesshomaru mentally kicked himself when he noticed Kagome's slight flinch over his choice of words for
InuYasha.
"When I realized the situation for what it was I meant to leave you to your rest, however, Tensaiga would
not allow it. Tensaiga wished for you to be revived."
"I see." Kagome's voice was sad, like it wasn't the answer she had hoped for.
Sesshomaru smiled to himself wryly and went about fixing it.
"The truth however, is a great deal more complicated and I do not even fully know what happened that
night."
Kagome turned towards him and cocked her head to the side.
"I don't understand…"
Sesshomaru smiled "That would make two of us."
"Your confusing me" Kagome smiled
"Before this I held a fair amount of respect for you, for many reasons, not the least of which the way you
have always shown kindness to Rin, and even to me, your blind loyalty to the half….to InuYasha. Not to
mention your strength in battle the night Naraku fell. Truth be told I was impressed a great deal the first
time we met when I tried to kill you and still stood up to me like an angry hell hound and yelled at me for my
attempt."
They laughed a little at the memory.
"I was scared to death." Kagome shook her head, still laughing
"Fooled me, and were it not for my sense of scent I would have thought InuYasha had lost his bodily waste
in his hakema, by the look on his face." Sesshomaru chuckled.
"Ewww, too much information." Kagome lightly shoved Sesshomaru on the arm. "I never knew you
respected me, you hide things very well Sesshomaru." she smiled a little.
"Something happened to me that night Kagome. I don't know when or how but I realized that I care too
much about you to let InuYasha and the undead miko destroy you."
"You do?" Kagome looked at him through wide open eyes.
"I wish I could explain, however, I do not understand it myself. I just knew that I couldn't let you die, not
because of that damned baka and his dead bitch. Your worth so much more than that Kagome." He reached
out and touched her cheek with his fingers.
"Sesshomaru…" Kagome felt a tear slide down her cheek and without thinking she moved forward and
pressed her lips to his. Sesshomaru threaded his fingers into her hair, then both pulled back, both faces wore
looks of confusion.
"I don't understand…" Kagome looked at him guiltily.
"What Kagome?"
"I feel drawn to you Sesshomaru, you make me feel happy and good about myself and excited about life
but…"
Sesshomaru felt the dawn of clarity fall over him.
"Kagome, did you feel anything when you kissed me?"
She looked down and away, Sesshomaru lifted her chin with his finger.
"It's okay, be honest."
"I…I felt like I was kissing my brother Sesshomaru….I'm so sorry…I…"
Sesshomaru started laughing when Kagome looked at him her face was so full of guilt. The poor girl must
be truly guilty, her eyes could not lie.
"What?"
He continued laughing.
"What? Tell me Sesshomaru!"
"I felt nothing either Kagome, I….nothing. Like kissing mother."
Sesshomaru chuckled again and this time Kagome smiled "I just realized, now that I do not have to fight the
baka for you, I actually have one less reason to kill InuYasha."
Kagome giggled and elbowed him in the arm. She rested her head on his shoulder.
"You know Sesshomaru, I've never had an three hundred year old best friend before."
Sesshomaru put his arm around Kagome and she scooted closer.
"I have never had a human friend before." Sesshomaru smiled when Kagome looked up at him and kissed
her forehead.
"I do not think I have ever had a friend before." his voice sounded a little sad.
"Well, you have a friend now Sesshomaru. A BFF."
"What is a BFF?"
"Best Friends Forever."
Sesshomaru smiled, he kind of liked the sound of that.
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Note: Chapter got a bit long so I am ending it here….look for what was previewed for this chapter in the
next chapter!! Here's memory a refresher:
To Come To Me
Chapter VI Preview
Sesshomaru takes Kagome and Rin to visit someone special to him
InuYasha and the others return to the village
InuYasha faces the wrath of Kaede
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Notes: Okay, sorry this update was so long in coming. It got a little long, so hope you enjoyed a nice long
one. I hadn't done anything yet to show InuYasha's thoughts the night Kagome died and I wanted to do that
before I got too much further into the story and away from the opening scene of Kagome's suicide.
I also felt a need to speed things up in regard to defining Kagome and Sesshomaru's relationship, not
creatively, but to be honest, because I got really sick of being asked in reviews and PMs, despite my notes
last chapter, if this was a Kagome/Sesshomaru (pairing) fiction, including threats to quit reading if it was.
Really guys, read the notes if your unsure about something! That's just plain rude. I hope I don't offend
anyone with the lengths I have taken to assure that everyone knows this is a KAGOME and INUYASHA fic.
Later on Kagome may be spending some time with Kikyo, I really hope no one needs to ask if Kagome is
beginning a lesbian relationship. EYEROLL.
I honest to Kami do not mean to be rude, most of you guys are absolutely delightful darlings, it's just the
one or two (or in this case three) who really annoy the piss out of me, combined with the fact that I shut
down "Days of Gold" because of a repeat rude BLEEP this week. Sometimes I really seriously consider
deleting everything. But, I'd miss most of you guys way too much. And the vast majority of you, I have
nothing but undying love for. And those who are very dear to me, you know who you are, KISSES PUPPY
LOVE and HUGGLIES!
Me shut up now.
CJ
- Don't forget to review, and again sorry for the rudeness, but JEEZE!
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