Chapter 4
I still recall that night, as if it were only yesterday...
18 years have passed a lifetime ago...
It was that sort of night which only invited fools to tread outside the safe confines of their own abode.
Fools and angels...
The well born young man whose 20 years offered him not only the singular ownership of a luxurious family home and lands, but also in the employ of the Emperor's Royal Army as a high-ranking officer--just as his father was before him.
The house was empty now, as the aqua haired young man had left the home that had already left him, years earlier. His wealthy parents had been victims of an unknown disease--a ruthless enemy that even a boy trained to be deft with a sword could not defeat.
Ah, defeat...
Thunder bellows and lightning flashes as the rains continue to pour down. Looking up at the shadowed night sky, Tachibana no Tomomasa flips his shoulder length wavy hair over his shoulders. Sometimes he wondered if there was any special reason why he was left alive. Especially on a night like this, as the dark clouds that were overshadowing the moonlight also shrouded his heart. It was as if he was in a swamp, sinking in a bog that he could not escape---where no light existed.
Oh? What's this?
Lazily sipping his sake alone in the empty house, Tomomasa spies a glimmer of light from somewhere along the road just outside the front of his property. It was a strange kind of light, almost as if a star had deemed to come down and shine its celestial light upon a darkened soul.
Amidst the tumultuous storm raging outside, a light beckons at him through the bleak darkness. The torrents of rain and hail could not hide that small light from his nonchalant eyes. And it was slowly growing closer.
"Pardon me, Sir---Oh! It's you, Captain Tachibana, Sir!" An older soldier humbly bows his head to the younger man whose rank preceded any introductions.
"Is there a problem?"
Tomomasa inquires of the driver, as the wet and rain drenched man obviously had encounted some trouble to be outside in a storm such as this.
"Well, Sir, yes. One wheel of the carriage is threatening to dangerously tumble off and I, as lone guard, fear for my passenger's safety on a rough night such as this. What would happen if we were to be stranded on the road between here and the Capital? I had warned the lady of this ill weather and it's danger to traverse, but she insisted..."
The short man wipes a sweaty brow nervously as he explains his situation.
"Yes, I did. You need not worry yourself further, Lieutenant. I am certain this kind gentleman will allow us to stay tonight in his home. Will you not, Sir?"
Her voice was surely that of an angel's, Tomomasa thought and felt a skip in his usually steady heartbeat. The owner of the voice, both commanding yet serene, peers out of the window of the carriage.
A lovely little firefly...
"How can I refuse such a beautiful lady anything?"
Tomomasa smiles as he recognized the features of the lovely princess of the land---the only daughter of the Emperor.
He had seen her personally only once before---when she had arranged a garden party for a few of the Emperor's top soldiers and her gentle violet eyes had turned his direction.
"Allow me, Princess."
Tomomasa's mind often wandered, though when a lady was concerned, he could never be remiss. He shined in moments such as this as he chivalrously removes his kimono and spreads it on the soaked and puddled ground at her feet. Next, he proffers her his yukata as a makeshift umbrella that he carries high over her dainty head.
"You are a gentleman, Sir."
Princess Houtaru's eyes glow at his dramatic entrance and welcome. Her eyes were unable to stop gazing at the elegant and graceful man before, as she takes his hand for balance, alighting from her carriage into the safety, albeit forbidden danger of his home, his eyes, his arms...
"May I offer you some refreshment, my lady? Tea, perhaps, to warm you on a forsaken night such as this?"
Tomomasa asks courteously as the Princess sits and makes herself comfortable in the room, while her guard was braving the weather to repair the carriage wheel in the barn.
Princess Houtaru's eyes were not keeping to themselves as she had been modestly taught in her royal youth, and she spies a sipping bowl of something interesting.
"A bowl of sake could warm the soul as well as the body." She revels in the slight raised eyebrow look that crossed Tomomasa's face. Was it shock or was it interest? Perhaps a bit of both?
"My elegant lady."
Tomomasa's eyes reverently bow as he brings her the requested drink which she accepts just as graciously.
Her eyes continue to sear through him as she sips her sake, as if deepening her look could see into his soul.
And perhaps it could, if she looked long and hard enough into those mysterious blue-green eyes.
Her elegant long nailed fingers touch the cheek of the beautiful man kneeling before her. She lifted his chin and brushed her hand across his cheek with the invitation into her heart.
"For a long while now, I have been wanting to meet you. It seems that fate has been kind in leading my carriage to your door."
His eyes glaze, melting into hers willingly as the raging storm outside could no longer shadow the light emanating between two mirror image souls within.
"What is it you have been searching for?" Houtaru whispers to him, her deep inner feelings could only see his blazing light.
"The elegant you, of course." Tomomasa smoothly replys, pulling her into a deep embrace softly.
"Liar..." She answers, placing her finger over his smirking lips. Suddenly, she bends down to kiss him, feeling as if she knows him better than anyone she's ever known in her entire life.
The next few months were filled with happiness for the soldier and the princess. They were careful never to be seen together publicly, but nearly every morning he would secretly come to her palace window and they would sneak out together, enjoying the beauty of life as only two young people in love could.
However, it was not to be, as soon, the princess' father announced that he had chosen a husband for his only daughter---a rich nobleman, many years her senior, from the Left, who, when married to the royal Princess, would bring the 2 sides of the country together.He had previously had a young daughter from his first marriage, but the poor woman had died in childbirth. The duty of raising that child was already in the willing hands of the childless Empress Kougou, who was more than overjoyed to raise the little girl. Houtaru knew the child from her younger sibling Eisen's boyhood friendship with the purple haired imp and her kindly sister-in-law's endless dotings. She would try her best to be a good companion to little Chuuguu, for she could never take the place of her real mother, this she knew. It was an arranged marriage that the Emperor's younger sister could not refuse as it would unite the country and benefit the people.
Houtaru agreed to the marriage, but was sick at heart. She would never love her chosen husband, but told herself that she must try to be a good wife to him. It was for the good of the country.
When Tomomasa heard the news, he was devastated at first, and angry, but soon recovered, realizing the sacrifice she had to make was far greater than his anger at her acceptance of another man.
He secretly arranged a final sunset meeting with her, just days before her impending marriage.
He told himself he would not weep, but to be strong, for her. But Houtaru was the opposite. Though she was strong inside, she was crying on the outside for the man she truly loved.
She rushed into his arms and he bent his head down upon hers, trying to engrave in his memory her scent, her touch, for he knew this was the last time they would ever meet in this manner. His eyes filled with tears and he attempted to blink them back desperately. He didn't want her to see him cry---he didn't want her to know his sorrow.
"Houta---"
He started to speak, but she put a finger to his mouth, to silence him.
"Let me talk first, my darling. I don't understand why, but I know destiny led me to you for a reason. It would not be so cruel as to bring you to me, just to take you away again. I had often wondered if your duty would take you away from me, but it is my duty that tears me from you. Yet, still, I believe it is as if something inside of you called out to me for a purpose. I know this must be true. No matter what happens from this time forward, please know I don't regret a moment of our time together. I only wish we could've stayed like that forever."
Here, Houtaru breaks down, weeping uncontrollably. Tomomasa was also choked and could barely open his eyes, for fear of the tears that would spill if he merely looked at her. Instead, he hugs her fiercely, feeling like he could never, never let her go.
"Houtaru, I can't let you do this. I need you too much. I love you too much. If we both don't know why we were brought together, we can't just leave it at that! I--"
The princess smiles through her tears, gazing with adoration at the man she loved, leaning her head against his chest. She too, wanted to embed the memory of him into her soul---so that she could keep him there for always.
"Shhh. There is nothing to be done about it, my love. It is over for us. Our time has ended. And yet, you alone will forever own my heart, my soul, and my love. I will never love him, but I will try to be good to him. It is funny, I want you to forget me and go on with your life, but another part of me, wants you to never forget 'us' and what we meant to each other...I don't know how I can go on living without you, but somehow, somehow, I must..."
"Houtaru...don't..."
Tomomasa cannot help but kiss her passionately nor can she refuse him. Both knew this was the last time they could ever see each other and neither wanted it to come to a close.
He gathers her up and carries her to her room through the window she had always snuck out of to join him. He had no intention of leaving now though, as he normally did. He wanted to stay with her---to be with her---
To love her as no one else had or ever could.
Their passionate souls and love could not be tamed nor appeased as they grasped for each other in a forbidden love neither one could deny as the sun disappeared over the moutains and the night sky, filled with stars, twinkled above them.
In the wee hours before the dawn, Tomomasa felt Houtaru stir and he tenderly touched her purple hair in the darkness.
"Promise me something." She whispers suddenly, almost forcefully, in the way this softspoken and elegant woman would when she felt a premonition coming on.
"Anything."
"Don't ever lose this light. You keep it so buried inside---I fear for it to dim. But please, for me, don't ever let it go out. It is so precious to me."
Houtaru takes her hands and presses them both to his chest. Her finger delicately danced over his clavicle, as if feeling something there that was not there.
"My light? I have no light without you." He places his lips over hers in a sweet kiss.
"Someday, you will...Just promise me." She whispers into his neck. Her emotions, her feelings for this man were clouded by the knowledge that this night would soon end and tomorrow would come.
Days later, after the royal wedding of the Princess Houtaru, Tomomasa felt as if his firefly's light had left him, never to return again.
He had known this would happen, but it had hurt far more than anything he had ever imagined. As the royal wedding carriage drives off, he was certain she took all of the dawn's light with her...
"My elegant lady...Be happy..." Tomomasa whispers to himself as within himself, he feels that he could never again be whole. Never again could he truly enjoy life.
Six long years had passed before another dark night came and another carriage would come to take her light away from him yet again.
General Tomomasa was called to the bedside of the dying Princess Houtaru, as the dimming light of the princess still clung to her past ideals and dreams.
"General Tomomasa..." She could barely whisper, as the ravages of the unknown disease had all but taken her strength. But his appearance gave her strength---the appearance of the only man she ever loved. She had never forgotten him, nor abandon his love.
"My lady..." He whispers on bended knee, with the same glow in his eyes that he gave only to her---from all those years ago---for her alone.
"Promise..." It took every ounce of her will to utter even just that one word. Although she could not even finish that thought, he understood her request.
He understood even more than the words, as his eyes followed hers to the tiny form of a little child, clinging to her mother's arm, weeping. The soft purple hair and eyes showed clearly that the little Princess Fuji was indeed Houtaru's mirror image. Her looks, her soft features, her Star Family ability to predict the future---all told Tomomasa volumes. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him as Houtaru tried to place his hand over the little girl's.
Is she...?
And when he looked from Fuji to Houtaru, his beloved lady fluttered her eyes closed and nodded at his silent question.
The frightened child was Houtaru's little girl through and though---she was Houtaru's...and his...
His little girl...
Tomomasa gently scoops up the sobbing child into his arms, trying to comfort her at this time of tragedy for them both. He brushed back her purple hair, with only the affection and care a parent would for his own flesh and blood.
"I promise."
Answering finally the question from long ago, Tomomasa whispers to Houtaru and she smiles her last, grateful and elegant smile. She had been waiting for him and now she could go.
Tomomasa watches as his heart breaks once again as the woman he loves gives her last breath and leaves him once more, never to return.
After a moment, he lets her still hand go, and takes the tiny Princess Fuji in his arms in a warm embrace. Everything he had ever loved was taken from him, but it would not happen again.
He would not let anything happen to his little girl. Their little girl.
His soul's light flickers yet lower, though still with an ember as promised, awaiting that someday when it would shine again.
Houtaru...I haven't cried, I won't cry...
Until the day I see you again...