Imaginary

Wishing for dinner, Stacy sat in her room, back against her bed, staring into a small hand mirror. Gingerly she touched her puffy eye. The bag of frozen peas her mother had thrust at her with a disgusted sigh had long since turned to mush, negating its usefulness. Stacy briefly contemplated using some of her mother's make-up to cover the darkening bruise, but knew a spanking would be all she'd get if her mom found out. Why did Ann always pick on her? She was sick of it. It wasn't that she didn't want to fight back, it was just she was no good at it. It wasn't fair.

Aw, Stacy, that was no fair. You shouldn't let her beat you up like that.

Stacy looked around the room in confusion. Who had said that? Surely not her mom. She tipped her head at Mr. Fluff, the fuzzy brown stuffed rabbit she'd had since forever. When she was little, she'd made believe Mr. Fluff could talk and had had many conversations with him, pouring out her heart to the sympathetic bunny. But even when she pretended he talked back, she knew it wasn't real and besides, Mr. Fluff wasn't a girl.

Some of the other kids at school had bragged about their imaginary friends (often teasing Stacy she couldn't even find a make-believe person to be her friend) and acted like they actually talked to them. Maybe she had finally found an imaginary friend of her own.

"Hello?" Stacy whispered nervously, not wanting to scare new (maybe) friend away.

I'm here, Stacy.

"Who are you?" Stacy asked, a bit braver. "Are you my imaginary friend?"

I'm as real as you want me to be, Stacy.

"Can I see you?" While the possibility of having a new friend was thrilling, Stacy felt a bit silly talking to thin air.

Not right now, Stacy. I'm here though. Don't worry.

Unsure what to do now, Stacy cuddled Mr. Fluff. When she'd played with her bunny, they'd had tea parties while she talked to him about her mom and school. She was too old for tea parties now, though. She didn't have to worry what to say for long.

I'll be your friend if you want, Stacy.

Her heart leapt. "Oh, yes! Thank you!"

Good. Do you know what friends do?

Stacy bit her lip. She knew what other girls did with one another on the playground: play house or pretend they had famous boyfriends. Sometimes they ganged up on Stacy to tease her.

Friends protect each other, Stacy.

"Oh." She wasn't sure what to say to that. The idea someone might stand up for her when the kids at school were mean or that horrible Ann tried to steal her lunch money again was quite nice.

That's right, Stacy. And since I'm your friend now, I'll protect you.

"Wow, really?" Stacy's eyes grew big. "You'd do that?"

Of course. All you have to do is promise me you'll always listen to what I say.

That would be no problem, Stacy thought. She was good at doing what she was told. Usually. "You bet," she replied. "Wow, thanks."

The next time the kids at school start picking on you or Ann comes after you, I want you to hide, okay? I'll help you find a place that's safe, and then you let me take care of everything, okay?

Her brow wrinkled. She'd tried to hide once at school- in the janitor's closet after Billy pulled her pigtails and pushed her in a puddle. The recess lady had found her and yelled at her for hiding and then her mom had yelled at her again when she found out. Hiding from Ann never worked.

I promise I'll find you a safe place to hide, Stacy. A place no one will ever find you.

"Okay," she said hesitantly. "If you promise."

I do. Now don't worry any more, Stacy. I'll always be here when you need me. I'll protect you.

And somehow, Stacy knew her new imaginary friend was gone. She held onto the hope she hadn't been lying (Stacy thought the voice sounded like a girl, but she couldn't be sure) and that she would come back. Hugging Mr. Fluff, she crawled into bed and fell asleep.

The first test of her imaginary friend's promise came the very next day.

"Give me your money!"

Stacy froze on the sidewalk. She'd been walking to the bus stop, thinking about which book she was going to pick for her reading class that day. Clutching her lunchbox in front of her chest like a shield, she whispered. "I brought my lunch today, Ann. I don't have any money."

"Well, I'll just have to take something else, then!"

Fear flooded Stacy's mind. A voice broke through it.

Hide, Stacy! Hide now!

"Where?" Her voice was high-pitched and panicky.

"Where what?" Ann looked confused.

Close your eyes and I'll hide you. Trust me. I'll tell you when it's safe again.

Okay, Stacy thought and squeezed her eyes shut. She didn't know how long she stood there with her eyes closed, waiting for Ann to hit her, but all of a sudden she heard:

It's okay now, open your eyes.

To her amazement, Stacy was on the school bus, just pulling into the school. "Wow," she breathed out. It was like magic! One minute she was about to get beat up again and the next she was almost at school. A quick glance in her little pocket mirror revealed she had no fresh bruises. "Wow, thanks! Thank you!" She ignored the funny looks the other kids on the bus were giving her.

I'll always be there if you need me, Stacy. I'll protect you.

Picking up her lunchbox and backpack, Stacy winced and looked down. She didn't know why her knuckles hurt, but they looked okay and nothing else was sore, which was a rare thing after an Ann encounter. She skipped off the bus in a happy mood.

In the weeks that passed Stacy noticed the kids at school had stopped picking on her. She still had no friends, but she wasn't being teased any more, either. In fact, the other kids avoided her at every turn. She thought it might have something to do with the day she'd been sent to the office after recess, but she still had no idea why the principal thought she was the one who hit Billy in the nose. She'd been hiding, just like her friend told her to. She thought about telling them it might have been her imaginary friend who hit Billy, but didn't think they would believe her. She didn't think imaginary friends could really touch people anyway. Besides, the few times she'd had to hide, she'd had her eyes closed and didn't know what her friend was doing. Telling them her friend had done it might be a fib and Stacy knew better than to make up stories. It had probably been Timmy anyway and they were both just trying to get her in trouble.

Stacy only had to hide one more time from Ann and got in real big trouble after, though she didn't know why. Her mom had been all shaky and pale when Stacy had opened her eyes to find herself in her room instead of out front where Ann had tried to take Mr. Fluff from her. She'd gotten a bad spanking and no dinner, but nothing more. Stacy figured her mom was just punishing her for not giving up her favoritest toy. To her amazement, Ann ran away every time she saw Stacy from then on. Stacy figured her imaginary friend had told her to leave Stacy alone.

Years later, Stacy nervously looked up at the brick building that would be her school for the next four years. It had been a long time since she'd needed to hide or even talked to her once imaginary friend, but a part of Stacy knew she would always be there to protect her. Faking bravery, Stacy walked toward the front door of the high school.

"Nice braids," a valley-girl accent drawled as she passed.

Stacy stopped, fighting panic. Was it an insult? Best pretend it wasn't. "Um, thanks."

The brown-haired girl gave Stacy a once-over, then signaled to a small Asian girl behind her. "Hey, I like your shoes. You from Madison?"

Stacy figured the other two girls had gone to the other junior high across town, Hemingway. There was only one high school, though. "Yeah."

"Cool." She held out her hand. "Sandi Griffin. This is Tiffany."

Stacy managed a nervous smile and handshake. "Stacy."

"You like fashion?" Sandi inquired.

The right answer was obvious and Stacy didn't hesitate to give it. "Oh, yeah!"

"Cool, so do we," Sandi drawled.

The first bell rang and they turned to the doors. Stacy never dreamed her first day of high school would start off so well. Allowing herself to hope she had just made a friend, a real one, she smiled as she walked through the front doors behind Sandi and Tiffany.

Good job, Stacy.

Stacy was startled to hear the voice again. She tried not to make it obvious since now that she was older, she knew most people didn't hear voices after they were kids and the ones who did got locked up in the loony bin. Stacy knew she wasn't crazy- she didn't expect anyone else to hear her friend and really only kept pretending because she was lonely sometimes. At least, that's what she convinced herself to think. She didn't hear her very much at all anymore, anyway.

Just remember- if they don't protect you, I will.

"I know," Stacy whispered.

"Stacy-" Sandi stopped at the odd expression on her new friend's face. The far away maniacal look in her eyes gave Sandi a chill, but it was gone when Stacy blinked and smiled back at her.

"Yes?" Innocent, plain brown eyes looked up at her.

Still a bit unnerved, Sandi said, "We'd better get to class. The teachers here do not understand the phrase, 'fashionably late.'"

"Right," Stacy agreed. She hoped now that she had real friends, she wouldn't need her imaginary one anymore.

Somewhere, deep in the back of her mind, her imaginary friend waited.