The Real World
Summary: They say that breaking up is hard to do. Well, Takeru is going to find this out first hand. Mentions Taikeru (Taichi/Takeru).
Chapter 5: The Mustard Fight
3-8-07
It all started because of mustard. And, oh, how Takeru hated mustard. Mustard was a vile condiment that served no purpose but to make those near it cringe and pinch their noses. It smells awful, tastes awful, and even looks awful. How could anyone ever want to swallow it? How could anyone ever manage to swallow it, without gagging?
Daisuke, on the other hand, loved mustard. Mustard and mayonnaise went on nearly everything Daisuke ate: hamburgers, hot dogs, hoagies, pretzels, French fries, and even the school's pizza quesadillas. No matter what, Daisuke always used about 10 packets of mayo and 5 packets of mustard.
And Takeru had to sit next to the big lug.
"Ack," the blonde recoiled at the smell as Daisuke opened up his third packet of mustard. "Do you really need all of that stuff?"
The brunette laughed. "Like your face needs a melon."
Takeru glared at the be-goggled boy. "I'll pretend that made sense."
"You do just that, Teeks." He peered over at Takeru's plate. "Do you have any mustard? I need more."
Scowling, Takeru replied, "I don't even like mustard. It's the foulest substance on the planet. I mean, what is mustard, really?"
"You twat."
Takeru, taking offense, smacked Daisuke over the head. "Dane Cook rip off, you jerk!"
Daisuke laughed and grabbed Takeru in a chokehold. "My brain is so fantastical!"
Wrenching himself away, Takeru squawked as he brushed himself off. There was a small smudge of dirty orange on his shoulder.
"MOTOMIYA DAISUKE!!"
The brunette held his hands up in defense. "What?!"
"MUSTARD! THERE IS MUSTARD ON MY SWEATER! I WILL KILL YOU DEAD! I WILL KILL YOU GOOD!"
"Kill me well, Takeru."
The blonde hesitated as his hands started to encircle Daisuke's neck. "Eh?"
"Improper grammar? And from a grammar nazi? Unbelievable."
Calming down, Takeru attempted to wipe off the mustard off with a napkin. "Aw, I give up!" He pulled off the sweater and shoved it into his bag. "Tai's gonna kill you."
"Well?"
Takeru scowled to himself, ignoring Daisuke's joke. "Probably not, though. Doesn't care enough to beat you up for my sake. Probably be more upset that I dirtied his sweater."
Daisuke raised an eyebrow. "Trouble in paradise?"
Sighing, Takeru got up to throw away his plate. "You could say that."
That wasn't all, either. Sure enough, when Takeru jokingly mentioned the mustard incident to Taichi (who loathed mustard almost as much as Takeru) later that day, the brunette's reaction wasn't at all as Takeru thought it should be.
"My sweater? He got mustard on MY sweater?"
Although Takeru knew that Taichi was joking, the fact of the matter was that Taichi wasn't upset about Daisuke getting mustard on Takeru, but for getting mustard on Taichi's sweater.
Takeru scowled. "I see that your sweater is more important than me."
The brunette's smile faded. "Well, it is my sweater."
"Whatever," Takeru replied. He turned away from his boyfriend and the hug the brunette was about to offer, and stormed off. As Takeru walked away, he heard Taichi make a side comment as well.
"Whatever, too."