"You okay – or are you gonna topple over again?" Cuddy asked as she pushed House back into a semi-hunched position. He grunted in response and met Cuddy's eye as she worriedly took his BP "It's a little low…nothing too serious" she stood up and briefly looked through the blinds, catching the nurses pointing and giggling with each other. 'Oh great…' she thought, 'there goes what was left of my credibility.' Turning back to her patient she folded her arms in an exasperated manner; "You waiting for me to check anything else?"

"Don't recall even asking you to check my blood pressure – figured I'd humour you…but next time you want to get me naked-" he smirked as she threw her hands up in defeat; truth be told he was actually getting a little self-conscious sitting like a lemon with his top off.

"Are you drunk?" Cuddy asked, smelling the faint smell of malt whiskey; he was certainly hung over.

"I can honestly say…I don't know" House said truthfully, "it is supposed to be my day off and by my estimate I've had…about 4 hours sleep and half of those were due to the fact that I was pretty much paralytic and passed out on my couch" he smirked as Cuddy cringed.

"Go to lunch, eat something; make sure you get an x ray…" Cuddy paused, House waited for 'the big one'…"if your ribs are broken; you get to have a week off work to recover" she sighed, as if it were the biggest sacrifice she'd ever made, when she saw the hint of a smile on House's face. "But I want proof…besides, it wouldn't look good for the hospital if you passed out on a patient" he stopped grinning at this.

"You had to ruin it didn't you? There I was thinking that you cared about me…" he pouted mockingly, watching Cuddy's stance change from aggressive to contrite. 'Ooh, I obviously hit a nerve…' he thought as he watched her keep busy by tidying the BP equipment away. She made her way over to the door, bracing herself for the onslaught of hushed whispers and stifled giggles, turning to face him one last time.

He gingerly began lifting his t shirt over his head, wincing as the action annoyed his upper body; Cuddy rolled her eyes, hand still resting on the doorknob – he was fully aware that she was watching so he played it for all it was worth, even throwing in a couple of curses for good measure.

"Oh just take the damn week off" she sighed, putting her hand up to stop him interrupting, "No arguments!"

"Who said I was gonna argue? I just wanted to know if I could get a lift home" he said cheekily, raising an eyebrow at her apparent loss of familiarity with him; why would he possibly argue about being sent home? He pulled his t shirt over his head with apparent ease, causing Cuddy to mentally question how much pain he was really in; mental note to self 'remember who you're talking to.'

"How did you get here?"

"I rode my bike…a little irresponsible to send me home on that death trap, especially since you know I'm drugged up to my eyeballs on vicodin…" he feigned looking stoned, which wasn't too hard considering how light headed he still felt. As if to reinforce his point he picked his tub of pills out of his pocket and dry swallowed a couple; 'get a refill before you leave' he noted as he counted the number left in the tub.

"and that's new because…?"

"I hope you're not insinuating that I always ride under the influence-"

"House, you're not getting a ride from me, so quit trying. Ask Wilson or one of your people."

"They're called Doctors, Cuddy. Doc-tor-s."

Cuddy sighed, opening the door and signalling her retreat from the conversation; she hoped she could make it to her office and manage to ignore the stares that were being directed her way. 'Damn House and his stupid games.'

House also sighed as he twisted on the stool to get his cane; 'time to find Wilson' he thought as he gingerly limped out of the exam room, being sure to plant a goofy grin on his face before winking wickedly at the nurses. 'Sorry Cuddy, but you asked for it.'

He spotted Wilson deeply enthralled in the paperwork being passed to him from a young nurse; or was he deeply enthralled in the nurse passing him the paperwork…'same difference' House thought, shaking his head slightly.

"Hey Wilson, need an x ray – Cuddy thinks I'm dieing!" yep, that got his full attention.

"Seriously?" Wilson asked, tearing his eyes away from the pretty nurse to look House up and down; he certainly didn't look like he was dieing, a little pale perhaps and he definitely looked like he could use a few days sleep.

"Nope, but she's giving me a week off – cool huh?" House said triumphantly. Wilson rolled his eyes and made to walk off, leaving House open mouthed – "whoa, where are you going?"

"Some of us have work to do – I don't know if I told you this, but I'm actually a doctor." It was the reply that House did not want to hear; he was relying on Wilson to be all concerned and look out for him like he had been earlier.

"Right, I'm a patient – you're a doctor; together we're a match made in heaven!" roughly translated as 'I can't believe you'd leave your bestest buddy like this!'

"Why don't you ask Cameron, she's worried about you; I would say ask Cuddy, but from what I've been hearing about you two…" Wilson shook his head puzzled as they both strode to the main reception, "were you really naked in there?"

"You already know my stance on kiss and tell." House said solemnly as he entered the elevator, the doors closing before Wilson could verbalize the look of confusion that had taken over his features.

'Wilson's a lost cause; maybe Chase can give me a ride…'

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House stumbled into the conference room, putting on his most impressive 'pained' face; unfortunately Cameron was there to witness it, not Chase – 'Oh brother, let caring overload commence.'

"Are you okay – what did Cuddy say?" she asked, worry dripping from every word; House wondered if the concern was for him or for the fact that Cuddy had walked in on them in a compromising situation. There was nothing for it, he'd have to ask her for a lift and punish Chase for not being here for him later.

'This is gonna be way too easy' House thought smugly as he dropped into a chair at the table with a loud "Oomph!" briefly forgetting that he really had hurt himself and that sudden movement meant that he couldn't breathe. 'Oops' "I need an x ray-" he gasped; only half acting now.

"I booked you in right after I left the clinic" the ever reliably compassionate Cameron said.

"I also need to ask you for a favour…" he purposefully hesitated at that point, making himself look pathetic by holding his side tenderly and avoiding eye contact. Cameron nodded, eventually asking "what?" when he didn't continue; House had to fight hard to keep the smile off of his face as he pretended to sigh 'you're such a good actor.'

"I need someone…to give me a lift back to my apartment…Wilson's busy and-"

"I'll take you home as soon as you've had your x ray" Cameron almost tripped over the words as they flew out of her mouth. House struggled making a smirk turn into a grateful look; she didn't seem to notice the difference, so he must have gotten away with it. Too easy.

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He managed to speed through the x ray process without anyone bothering him; although there were plenty of hushed conversations when he approached the nurse's station to collect the films. Apparently his little stunt that morning with Cuddy had earned him the highly commended position of being top of the gossip list; knowing Cuddy she was probably holed up in her office, too embarrassed to come out, thinking about how she could repay the favour.

"Put them on her desk" he ordered to Cameron who had been following his at a distance, trying to hear what everyone was saying behind House's back, she hadn't heard the rumours yet - luckily for House.

"Don't you want to see them?" she asked, holding out the envelope.

"Would I have asked you to put them on her desk if I did? Give me your car keys."

Cameron frowned as she handed over the keys; the nice, vulnerable House from earlier seemed to have disappeared and had once again been replaced with regular, grouchy House. She stalked off and he negotiated the walk through to the parking lot to find her car, though not before refilling his vicodin script.

As he stumbled across the lot he figured out that Cameron had 'accidentally' forgotten to mention where she'd parked which meant that he was forced to wander around aimlessly for a few minutes searching for it until she returned; not something his ribs or leg would thank him for in a hurry.

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They arrived at his apartment after an awkward car journey where House insisted on letting Cameron know that her driving 'sucks worse than Wilson's' before being snapped at because 'I'm only driving slowly so you don't hurt your damn ribs'. He sheepishly thanked her for the lift, painfully pulled himself out of the car and ambled up to his door.

Much to his amusement, she followed him and even insisted on opening the front door for him; "okay, you can go now…" he said, extending his arm out by way of indication, as if she'd forgotten where the door was.

"Don't you need anything; food, what about-"

"I'm fine – get back to work; I've got some serious lounging around I need to be getting on with" he pushed her by the elbow back out of the door and into the hallway. 'Take a hint…' he thought as he popped open his vicodin and swallowed one.

"But Cuddy asked me to make sure you were alright."

"Cuddy's got her own webcam set up in my shower; that's where I'll be for the next hour" he said reassuringly, "if she wants me, she knows what channel I'm on" he grinned, slamming the door in her face and locking it.

"Thank God for that" he muttered as he watched her car disappear down the street; she'd spent ten minutes just sitting in it, 'probably reporting back to the boss' he thought as he limped his way down the hall to the bathroom, praying to his higher power that the boiler would kick in and give him at least a half hour's worth of hot water.

As he attempted to relax under the warm spray of the shower he briefly caught a reflection of himself in the mirror opposite; "Jesus, no wonder they both freaked out" he noted as he became mesmerised by the cool blue and purple shading he was sporting on his right side.

As he hop-stepped out of the shower to grab a towel, he wiped a hand over the condensation on the mirror to get a closer look at his swollen side; he couldn't help just staring, counting the ribs affected and trying to guess which one's were in fact broken. Funny how the pain seemed to be foggy and dull, he was pretty sure he should be in agony right now. He stretched slightly and winced as he felt tugging and grating…not a nice combination at all.

'Maybe you did take a little too much vicodin earlier' he thought, biting his lip as he recalled his impulsive behaviour in the clinic, stripping off in front of Cameron and nearly falling on top of Cuddy. It didn't help that he'd been still suffering from the effects of alcohol too; the haze had been wiped from his head now though, the shower had made sure of that.

He cocked his head as he heard an impatient banging on his front door; he grabbed his cane and slowly made his way down the hall, clad only in a towel, to answer the door. He looked through the peephole to find Cuddy standing the other side, talking into her cell phone and looking frantic. 'Oh great…do I let her in or not?' he thought, his hand reaching for the lock…

Author's Note: Yeah, I know, not a lot happened in this chapter…what can I say – I don't like to rush things! Just be glad I updated…having a hectic time at work; roads don't just design themselves you know! Thanks for the nice feedback for the last chapter; it was nice to hear from some new people (as well as the people who have been sticking with me so far on my other fics – thanks) x