House stumbled out of his front door, closely followed by Cuddy; his convincing 'I'm fine' front certainly had Cuddy fooled for the time being, but it was becoming difficult to keep up the ruse.
He'd managed to stand without falling flat on his face, which was a definite improvement from 10 minutes earlier when he'd come close to flattening his boss. He cheekily shoved her out through the front door and followed; apparently he stood, gripping the door handle for a microsecond too long because Cuddy turned to face him with a look of concern plastered on her face.
"You okay?" Cuddy asked in that nauseatingly patronizing tone, as if she didn't expect a truthful answer before he'd even opened his mouth.
"Yep – I'm fantastic" 'why let her down, she'd probably pass out if you told her you hurt like hell and would be quite happy to curl up and die on your front doorstep right now – then you'd have to get up and carry her to the damn cab...that ain't gonna happen in this lifetime' he thought as he attempted to drag his bad leg as far as possible without using his cane.
He waited for Cuddy to get in the cab before he popped one vicodin; he didn't want to risk two, especially when he was having trouble keeping tabs on how many he'd already had.
Cuddy opened the door to the cab with her good arm, she slid in and waited for House who seemed to be taking his sweet time; she groaned as she realized that her favourite bracelet had snapped off in the fall. "It was an accident" she sighed under her breath as House threw himself down in the seat next to her, grunting with the movement.
"I know you're only coming with me because somewhere deep down in that head of yours, you feel guilty for hurting me" Cuddy stated as the cab pulled off to PPTH.
House stared at her in the dull lighting of the cab, letting her hold onto her ideal belief for approximately 12 seconds..."actually, I'm coming with you because I'm desperate to know how far we can push the nurse's rumour that we're secret lovers" Cuddy sighed in disappointment as he continued, apparently he was seriously giving it thought "Ooh, please let me fill in your ER form – you're a lefty aren't you...cool, In the box for 'How did the accident occur?' I'm gonna write 'refer to page 26 of the Karma Sutra ' sound good to you?" he looked to her expectantly.
"No!" she said eventually, growing tired of his company already; "maybe you should have stayed at home"
"Hey, I broke it; the least I can do is see how bad it is..." House said softly, apparently surprising himself with his new found sensitivity; "need something to brag about when I tell Wilson." 'nice recovery' he acknowledged as Cuddy rolled her eyes in exasperation.
They made it all the way to PPTH without killing each other, despite a few close calls; House paid for the cab without too much fuss and wasn't surprised to find Cuddy almost sprinting ahead of him to get fixed before anyone realised that they'd arrived together.
"Women" House muttered to the cab driver before, he too, left him in the parking lot.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It took less that twenty minutes for Cuddy to get x rayed, much to the annoyance of several other patients who had been admitted before she'd even arrived. 'Why did you have to go to his apartment...' she thought as she sat in the small waiting area; 'he's old enough to look after himself…he did collapse though – probably not a good sign'
"Dr Cuddy" a nurse called as she scurried over to where the Dean was waiting; Cuddy sighed, still lost in thought, 'why did I choose to come here? Any other hospital in the area and I wouldn't be recognized...'
"Dr Cuddy" the nurse asked again, unsure as to whether the Dean was really ignoring her or not.
"Yes?" Cuddy snapped in exasperation; clearly the nurse wasn't going to go away.
"Are you here with Dr House?" the elderly nurse asked breathlessly.
"Okay, we arrived together and I don't know what he's been saying, but I can assure you that we are not-"
"He's just collapsed in the waiting area" the nurse said abruptly, not wishing to interrupt her boss mid-rant but feeling that maybe she'd gotten the wrong end of the stick.
"Oh...is he okay?" 'House, you idiot – yeah you're really fine aren't you?'
"I...think so"
"What do you mean you 'think so'?" Cuddy asked, unable to mask the building annoyance in her tone, "who is with him?"
"A couple of nursing students and the receptionist are with him – I thought I'd better get you as soon as it happened" the nurse looked like she would burst into tears at any moment. 'See, this is why you went to see him...because you're the only person sane enough to handle him when he's pretending not to be sick!' she thought angrily.
"He's obviously not unconscious then" she said under her breath as she followed the ruffled woman back to the waiting room.
She could already see a group of people gathered around one of the rows of chairs; no doubt gawking at the crippled man, 'he's gonna be so pissed' she thought as she attempted to clear the area. "Okay, can you give us some room here please?" she asked rhetorically to the small gathering of nurses and stray hospital personnel.
Wincing as she caught site of House glaring brokenly at the poor students, she managed to shoo them out of the way before he could muster up enough strength to insult them.
"What happened?" she hissed, more aggressively than she'd wanted to; she felt like adding 'I leave you alone for ten minutes and you do this to me' but she felt that it would make them sound even more like they were a couple, so best to keep it impersonal.
"Got up too quick – no need to panic" he shot back immediately as Cuddy took on her authoritative stance; arms folded and brow suitable furrowed questioningly.
"You can't use the same excuse twice House – you're getting another x ray, I'll drag you in there, kicking and screaming if I have to" she was going to add more but was stunned to see him nodding at her proposal "you want an x ray now?"
"Can we leave out the kicking and screaming part?" came his apparently offhanded reply, "not really feeling up to it..." he added as his eyes drifted over to a nearby wheelchair, then to his cane which was still laying on the floor.
Cuddy winced out of his sight as she caught the meaningful glance; "okay" she said as she brought the wheelchair over for him, "get in"
House inwardly sighed with relief as she allowed him to use the wheelchair with minimum fuss; 'good old Cuddy, no need to make a scene' he thought as he lowered himself shakily into the chair.
"You okay?" Cuddy asked tentatively as she pushed the wheelchair along to radiology, with House getting more and more embarrassed by the minute. 'This isn't right – I'm supposed to be making her feel embarrassed' he thought, feeling his cheeks flush as a couple of nurses smirked at them going by.
"Don't you have a cast to be getting on?" he asked as he desperately attempted to take over the pushing of the chair; it was beginning to make him feel pathetic, being pushed by someone with a broken wrist, especially when that someone was his boss.
"Err, just let me get you to the waiting area" she replied, almost losing her footing as House tried to speed away in the chair; he didn't make it very far because of the intense stabbing in his torso. "Take your hands off the wheels, House – I'm driving" she ordered as he rolled to a halt some 5 metres away from her.
"Sure thing boss" he mock saluted back, groaning again as he forgot about his damn ribs. 'You've broken ribs before, you wuss…I don't remember it being this painful though' he thought miserably as he dug around in his jacket pocket for his vicodin.
He swallowed two as they approached the busy waiting area; it was certainly a busy night for x rays. 'Maybe I can have some fun while I'm waiting – at least to try and take the edge off the pain' he thought as he glared at a 'construction worker-looking' type who stood up to let Cuddy have a seat...target number one.
"You know, if you'd come in earlier in the week – when you actually broke your thumb – it wouldn't hurt that much…let me guess, you did it on Tuesday and couldn't get the time off work to get it checked out?" House addressed the huge worker who was holding his hand protectively around his opposing thumb, "Do you know how busy these places get with idiots like you turning up and crowding the place?"
"Huh?" the man didn't expect to be interrogated by the pale looking guy in a wheelchair and was unable to think of a suitable response before House continued.
"Your thumb is a nice shade of green – now normally I'd expect it after, lets say a few hours, to be purple or possibly blue – not green…but, judging by the way the cut has miraculously healed around the bruising; you're either coming in late or you're superhuman" House regarded the hefty man, drawing his own conclusions "you're not hiding a cape under there are you? I hope not because the thought of you in a skin tight cat suit is making me nauseous." Before the stunned man could answer, or hit him, House found himself being wheeled over to another part of the waiting area.
"Can't you shut up for two minutes?" Cuddy hissed exasperatedly as she turned the chair to face the wall; effectively she may have saved more innocent bystanders the confusion and hassle of a conversation with House. Needless to say, House didn't see it that way at all.
"If it wasn't for morons like him, stumbling in here on a Friday night, I'd have my x ray done by now" House moaned to the wall, unwilling to twist around to face his target – luckily for him, Cuddy leaned against the wall beside him to throw in a lecture, which meant that twisting didn't have to come into the equation.
"You think you're better than him – I get it!" Cuddy said, throwing her hands in the air in mock defeat before pausing, "…didn't you fall into a coffee table?"
"That was different-"
"Yeah, you were drunk!"
"Wilson has a big mouth…listen, I think I heard someone calling your name" House said, pointing through the crowd in a desperate attempt to get her off his back; he'd dropped himself in it there – 'I'm sure I didn't tell her how I did it' he thought as he tried to ignore her smug look. "Seriously, listen…"
"Dr Cuddy – they're ready for you now" a nurse said as she picked her way through the Friday night crowd; House sighed and silently thanked the wall as Cuddy made to walk off – she turned quickly and pointed a finger menacingly at him.
"House - Stay." she said loud and clear; holding the palm of her right hand out to reiterate the point; she smirked as House scowled at her, as she began backing down the corridor to get her cast fitted.
Now all he had to do was wait for his second x ray without getting beaten up by the burley construction worker who had just figured out that he'd been insulted by a cripple…'oh crap'
Author's Note: Still taking my sweet time with this one…and I'm enjoying myself! So don't expect it to change much over the next few chapters…let me know what you think though – and what you want (although most of you do that already!) x