Armageddon: Pirates of the Caribbean Style
Declaimer: Yes, I own it all! It's all mine! Isn't it obvious that I'm a multi-millioner?
The Mooing Rights of Wooly Rhinos
Captain Jack Sparrow sank down onto the staircase behind him, staring at Will and Elizabeth singing, with Davy Jones playing along. This was completely insane. What was going on? Jack decided to ask Davy Jones about it when something happened to interrupt him.
The something was a wooly rhino, the kind that lived in the ice age. It fell in the middle of the deck, nearly broke through the boards, and mooed loudly.
"It's mooing," Jack said blankly.
Will and Elizabeth stopped singing. Davy Jones stopped playing. All three looked at Jack and the wooly rhino.
"Of course it's mooing," Elizabeth said, "Why shouldn't it moo?"
"Well, it a rhino," Jack explained.
"Rhinos have got a right to moo as much as anyone else," Will declared.
"Yes!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "We should start a protest! 'The Mooing Rights of Wooly Rhinos'! Everyone in favor, raise your right hand as say 'Aye'!"
Will and Davy Jones yelled "Aye" very enthusiastically and the supporters of the Mooing Rights of Wooly Rhinos got together to discuss further campaigning plans.
Jack had the feeling that he should be doing something other than staring mutely, but he couldn't think of anything.
Then Norrington appeared out of nowhere.
"Fido!" he cried, seeing the wooly rhino, "there you are! I've been looking all over for you!"
"Do you mean that this -- this thing is your?" Jack demanded.
"Yes!" Norrington cried defiantly. "She's my favorite pet!"
"She?" Jack demanded.
"Yes!" Norrington announced defiantly. "She's a female wooly rhino! What's wrong with that?"
"Never mind..." Jack said with a sigh of exasperation. Subconsciously, he had always counted on Norrington to be sane. But Beckett was. Yes, Beckett definitely was. He wouldn't have female wooly rhinos named Fido for pets. Jack began to feel almost glad that a reliably sane Beckett existed in the world.
Well, speak of the devil.
Beckett appeared out of nowhere. Jack's momentary hope for Beckett's sanity was instantly and brutally dashed.
"Help! Help!" Beckett was screaming. "Help! The FBI is after me! Help! Heeeeeeeeelp!!!!!"
Jack, not for the first time in the past half an hour, stared in horror. It wasn't only that Beckett was gibbering about the FBI, it was...
the way he was dressed...
Beckett was wearing a violently orange grass skirt (of course, it wasn't real grass, as it was violently orange). To Jack's (and everyone's, even Fido's) astonishment, he wasn't wearing anything else. Except for the wig.
Jack stared, Will gaped, Elizabeth screamed and hid behind Will, Davy Jones laughed a very high, uncontrollable, and enormously evil laugh that sounded rather like the Wicked Witch of the West, Norrington gasped and covered his face in horror, and Fido had the strong inclination to go on a stampede, but she controlled herself and snorted very loudly instead.
Jack had a sudden and unexplainable urge to hide. Somewhere in a very dark corner where no one could find him.
A/N: I work on this story when I'm feeling random. I sometimes get ideas for it in the middle of boring conversations with people. It's weird! But I love writing this! Go wooly rhinos! Please review! If you have a price you're willing to pay for the rights to Pirates of the Caribbean, name it in your review!