seven
The world seemed different when they reported for their respective duty shifts the following day. Neither could have said just how; they only knew that it had been a long time since either had felt such contentment. If, indeed, they ever had. In fact, they acted like they had always been together, kissing goodbye at Spock's cabin door (inside, of course) before he left to go on duty since his shift began at 0600. Hers wasn't until 0630.
The warmth and love in his soft brown eyes was something Christine never thought she would ever see as his hand lingered on her cheek before his departure. Her hand covered his for a moment, and she put all her heart into her eyes. He would have been content simply to look at her and feel her love for hours to come—and to share his own with her. But both knew that there was a time for love and a time for duty. The time had come for duty.
Before he left, however, the Vulcan told Christine he would meet her outside Sickbay at 1230 hours for lunch and they would eat after discussing wedding arrangements with Kirk. She left five minutes after he did, making sure the corridor was clear before stepping out. After all, she had to remember whose quarters she was in. The last thing she intended to do was embarrass either Spock or herself in front of the crew. Their private lives were no one's business but their own...and perhaps that of their closest friends—at the proper time.
Kirk's own duty shift had begun at 0400 and consequently, he had gotten off-duty earlier. Spock had known this fact, which was the reason he had arranged a meeting at 1235 hours. The Vulcan had not said why he wanted to see him, but the Captain knew Spock well enough to make a pretty accurate guess. His friend had sounded happier and more fulfilled than Kirk had ever known him to be. Only Christine could be responsible for that, and he blessed her for it. For Spock's sake, he hoped it never changed.
Kirk arrived back at his own quarters at 1215. His stomach growled since it was lunchtime, but he planned to have something after his appointment with Spock (and Christine, if his hunch was right). The Captain seated himself behind his desk to wait for them, picking up the topmost report to read from the pile sitting there. By an odd coincidence, it was Spock's. It was seven pages long, so Kirk was about a third of the way through when his buzzer sounded.
He knew without looking at his desk chrono that it was 1235 hours and that it was Spock at the door. The Vulcan's inborn time sense made him one of the few crewmembers who had never been late for duty. In fact, Spock was usually on the Bridge before he was—that is, when they had the same shift.
"Come," Kirk said.
He smiled when the Vulcan and a blushing Christine stepped in. Spock didn't touch her in the Captain's presence, simply guided her to the single chair in front of Kirk's desk while he stood behind her, hands on the back of the chair. "I understand there was something you wanted to discuss with me," the Captain remarked after a few moments of tense silence.
He looked at Christine's bowed head, lowered eyes and flushed cheeks before looking up at his Vulcan friend. Their eyes locked for a time before Kirk clasped his hands in front of him on the desk.
"Yes, Captain," Spock confirmed.
"What can I do for you?""We have come to discuss arrangements for a shipboard wedding," the First Officer elaborated even as his cheeks tinged with color, and Kirk saw a glowing happiness in his dark eyes.
"A shipboard wedding? Your shipboard wedding?"Spock could only nod.
"Then I can only assume that your private talk went well." He smiled at the happy, blushing couple before him, their love almost a tangible thing. "When would you like to have it?"
This time Christine responded, finally finding her voice. "At your earliest convenience."
Kirk looked at his chrono, then his latest command orders. "It's stardate 7415 right now, and we don't have any assignments until 7423.4, so any time between now and then is fine with me. Have you bonded yet?"
"Last night," Christine told him.
Spock remained silent after his initial statements, simply nodding in agreement as she spoke.
"How about arranging the wedding for stardate 7421? I'm sure you'll need time to prepare."
"We just want a simple, private ceremony," the female physician said.
Kirk looked to Spock for confirmation and got it. The Captain sighed and wrote on his datapad. "All right, 7421 it is. What time would you like to have it?"
"Whenever we're all off-duty that day," came the reply from the woman before him.
Kirk noted that Spock's hands were on Christine's shoulders now, but neither of the couple was conscious of it. In deference to their privacy, he remained silent as he checked the duty roster.
"On stardate 7421, Spock and I get off at 1400, you and Bones at 1500 and Uhura at 1600. How about making it at 1930 hours to give everyone time to get ready?"
Spock and Christine looked at each other, mentally communicating, then back at Kirk. "That's fine," she pronounced.
"Got it." Kirk wrote it down. "Now where did you want to have it? It would be more private here, and less likely to be crashed, but we can have it in the Chapel if you prefer."
"'Crashed'?" Spock asked with a frown.
"When people come who weren't invited," Christine explained. "And I'm sure you don't want that. Having it in the Chapel is fine as long as we play our cards right."
Kirk and Spock exchanged glances; the Vulcan shook his head. "All right, let me read back what I have—you two want to get married on stardate 7421 at 1930 hours in the ship's Chapel. Have either of you told Bones or Uhura yet? I can't be your 'best man' since I'm to perform the ceremony, Spock, so I'm sure McCoy would be only too happy to oblige you if you ask him...and Uhura could be your maid of honor, Miss Chapel...Christine."
"I'll ask her the next time I see her," the Doctor confirmed.
"Anything else you need to discuss, Spock?"
"No, Jim," came the quiet answer.
"What about your parents...and Christine's?"
Christine spoke before Spock could draw breath for a reply. "We'll be sending them stargrams."
"What about the Vulcan wedding? Will you be having one?"Spock looked dubious. "That depends on whether or not T'Pau will be willing to perform the ceremony. I will suggest that my father speak to her on our behalf. I am not—optimistic, but we will...hope for the best." He looked at Christine; she nodded and smiled.
"You'd still be legally married even if you didn't have one," Kirk pointed out.
Spock nodded, but his eyes were downcast. Both Kirk and Christine looked at him with concern, knowing the Vulcan wouldn't feel complete without the Vulcan wedding ceremony. At the same time, both knew that it was doubtful whether or not T'Pau, the matriarch of Spock's clan, would be willing to officiate. Her position in his family and on the Vulcan Science Council gave her the power to perform Clan marriages.
But she was not fond of Humans at the best of times, and the fact that Sarek had married one was bad enough without Spock bringing another into their revered family. (Sarek and Spock were descendants of the Vulcan philosopher Surak by way of his eldest child and daughter, T'Sara. T'Pau was a descendant by way of his son and youngest child, Selak.)
McCoy's deception, which had saved Kirk's life at Spock's aborted wedding some years ago, didn't sit well with her, either. Still, she was a stickler for tradition, so there was a slim possibility she would do it—if only for that reason. Spock wanted to honor the traditions of his Vulcan ancestors, Kirk knew that, but couldn't if T'Pau refused to marry him and Christine.
That way, if he didn't honor tradition, it would be more her fault than his. Kirk hoped that at least he would be allowed to attend. It was technically Spock's right to have at least one friend there, but knowing T'Pau, there was no guarantee of that, so Kirk wasn't holding his breath. All they could do was wait until the Vulcan heard back from his parents.
It was as much as she could endure, having just two Humans there—himself and Christine...without trying to have McCoy, Uhura or Amanda. That would make five, given the dubious possibility that T'Pau would agree to it. They'd be lucky if Kirk was allowed there...and even then, probably only in deference to Sarek and the fact that it was Spock's right by law.
"I will write my parents tonight and explain the situation," Spock said in a controlled voice. "We can only—hope...for a favorable outcome. I will let you know what happens."
He looked from Kirk to Christine. "Come, Christine." She stood up and moved next to him, crossing her fingers with his. "We are going to lunch, Jim," the Vulcan informed Kirk. "Would you care to join us? I am assuming you have not eaten yet."
Kirk shook his head with a smile. "No, I haven't—and yes, I would be delighted to join you." He shot a glance at Christine. "That is, if Christine doesn't mind sharing you."
The Doctor shook her head, though her smile was a bit forced. Kirk sensed that she was giving in for Spock's sake, preferring to have been alone with him. But with Kirk joining them (and possibly McCoy or Uhura, should either come to the Officers' Lounge and spot them), that hope would not be realized—at least not for the next hour or two.
"Then let's get going. I'm famished!" The Captain followed the newly bonded and engaged couple out the door, down the corridor and into a turbolift which would take them to the Officers' Lounge and their lunch on Deck 3.
The lunch passed pleasantly, the three talking about whatever came into their heads, somehow managing to eat and drink in between all the discussion. The repast lasted about an hour, after which Spock and Christine excused themselves, silencing any questions in the Captain's mind as to what they would be doing next. The couple left the Officers' Lounge after bidding Kirk a pleasant farewell, and returned to duty. They were both off by 1430, returning to Spock's quarters after that.
Upon their return, they spent the evening curled up on his couch, alternating between listening to her favorite music and his until 1900, her head on his shoulder and his arms gently but securely around her waist, his cheek resting on the top of her head. Christine stole a look at the chrono Spock kept in his quarters for his Human shipmates, noting that it was 1905 hours. Time for her to leave, even as much as she wanted to stay.
She reluctantly communicated this to Spock through their newly completed bond, sensing that he was equally reluctant to see her go—but at the same time, knew she had to. "It's been a most enjoyable evening, Spock, but I think I'd better go back to my quarters. I need to shower and get some sleep because the new rotation begins tomorrow and I have the Gamma shift, from 2400 to 0800."
He released her and she stood up; he joined her a moment later. "I go on Alpha shift duty from 0800 to 1600. As soon as you have had some sleep, we can discuss a future meeting. Is that acceptable to you?"
She did not reply, but he felt her answer in his mind and smiled as they moved toward the door. When they reached it, she moved into his arms again and the couple shared a lingering kiss. Neither had any idea how long they stood there, and neither cared. The nearness of the other was all that mattered. Their evening together had been idyllic, a virtually perfect time—but their idyll would soon be shattered almost beyond repair...and by something which only a miracle of love could save.
It began two days later when Christine's conscience got the better of her and she decided to tell Spock the guilty secret she had carried for two months: that they had been watched their first night together on Sapphira VII and that she had known about it. What's more, she had known about it and hadn't told him. Whatever the repercussions might be from her revelation, they could be far worse if it had come out after their marriage.
A part of her said she was a fool to jeopardize her relationship with Spock and his love for her, something she had waited for for so long. But another part said that she couldn't go into marriage with him with a lie standing between them. They met in Spock's quarters after each had gotten off-duty, about 1900 hours. All she had told him was that there was something very important that he had to know before they could be married.
Please, God, help him to understand why I did it. Don't let him hate me. I couldn't bear it.
Of course, she couldn't blame him if he did. He was so scrupulously honest that deception in any form was anathema to him—and for the woman he planned to marry, his bondmate, to betray him like this... Christine felt sure that that was how Spock would see it—that she was no better than T'Pring. The thought sickened her but she had to prepare herself for the possibility, however abhorrent.
Even the thought that she might lose him was too painful to contemplate, but it was a risk she had to take. He might even talk of breaking their bond...and from what she'd heard, only a Vulcan Healer or the death of one of the partners could break a Vulcan matrimonial bond.
The break was often so traumatic that it took years to recover from (if, indeed, the parties ever did)...and some simply willed themselves to die. She couldn't bear the thought of Spock being driven to that—and because of her! But there was no way around it. The truth had to come out...and what happened, happened.
The evening started out well enough; they had greeted each other with both a kiss and the crossing of fingers—something still new to her (they had only done it for three days), but if her fears were realized, something at which she wouldn't have a chance to become proficient. Spock would put her out of his life, his heart, everything...and she would never be able to face him again, knowing that she only had herself to blame for destroying the one thing she valued above all others: Spock's love, trust, and belief in her.
After T'Pring's betrayal, the Vulcan had been afraid to allow himself to trust a woman enough to develop romantic feelings for her. It was only because eight years had gone by, time in which Spock had learned to trust and believe in Christine, that he had come to love her. This revelation could set things right back at square one—if, indeed, he ever learned to trust her again.
"You said there was something very important you needed to tell me before we could be married," Spock reminded her, reaching to squeeze Christine's hand, then hold it as they sat next to each other on his bed. "I can sense that it is something which has troubled you for a long time. Please tell me what it is."
Christine sighed sadly, knowing that they could change from lovers to strangers in the space of a heartbeat she told him what she had to tell him, but the choice had been taken from her. She could only hope for the best, even as she expected the worst.
"Yes. It concerns our first night on Sapphira VII. Sapphira mentioned to me that all newcomers needed to 'prove' themselves, as it were."
"In what way?""We were...observed that first night." She held her breath without realizing she was doing it.
"And you knew about it," he concluded. "Why did you not tell me?" His tone became harsh and accusing despite his best efforts, and his face hardened.
"It would only have distressed you. I did what I thought best—for your sake."
Spock's eyes seemed to stab black daggers of ice right through her. He released her hand and didn't touch her again. "Was it truly for my sake, or because you believed I would not have...accompanied you the night of the orgy if you had?"
Anger tinged Christine's voice as she replied, her eyes flashing blue fire. "That had nothing to do with it. I only wanted to make things as easy as possible for you."
His expression didn't change. "Damn it, Spock, you must know that whatever I did there was to protect you, not for my own benefit! If I was that self-serving, I would never have let you go to Sapphira, not for anything." Now she was hurt as well as angry.
"That does not change the fact that you deceived me...and I trusted you." This time, he was the one who sounded hurt. "Yes, it probably would have—distressed me, as you say, but I still would have preferred to know. You should know that, since you profess to know me so well."
"All right." Christine controlled herself with effort since tears were close, and she didn't want to cry in front of Spock if she could help it. "Suppose I had told you. Would things have turned out any differently?"
"It is over and behind us now, so I can only speculate, but no, I doubt I would have acted differently. After all, I am...fairly certain that the Sapphirans could not have told the difference between what we did and the genuine article."
"Spock, listen to yourself. Your suggestion is as much a deception as what I did. At least give me credit for admitting what I did! And let me ask you this—would you have admitted deceiving me if our positions were reversed?"
The Vulcan seemed taken aback for a moment, then stiffened. "That is irrelevant, for I would not—and could not—deceive you, no matter what you have done to me."
"My God, you make it sound like I wanted to do it! If you're so willing to condemn me without a trial, be so self-righteous and judgmental, then you're not the man I thought you were. Certainly not the man I fell in love with."
Spock winced at that, then stiffened again. "My conduct has no bearing on yours."
"In other words, you can do as you please and call it logical, but if a Human does the same thing, they're irrational, illogical...even unreasonable."
He gave her a look which could have frozen her
where she sat, but Christine didn't
—couldn't—flinch. "That
was uncalled for, Christine." This time, he sounded angry...coldly,
frigidly angry.
"And what you said was?" she shot back.
There was an uncomfortable, even strained, silence between the two. Her heart ached at the pain she felt from him along with his anger, knowing that she had hurt him, and wept inside for the death of not only her dreams, but his own.
Forgive me, my love, she entreated as she fought back tears. Whatever you may think of me now, believe that I love you. I always have and I always will. Out loud, she asked, "Do you want to call off the wedding? It's still only us, the Captain, Dr. McCoy and Nyota who know. We haven't even written our parents yet."
"I believe that would be the most logical course of action." His voice was tightly controlled.
Logical? she almost snorted. Not the best, but most 'logical' course! Sometimes I wonder what I ever saw in him, she thought bitterly. No matter how painful it is for him, he consistently denies his feelings—and now, simply because of one mistake, he's throwing all our dreams away in the name of logic!
Out loud, she merely said, "If that's what you think best, Spock, I won't stand in your way. But what of our bonding? We can't simply break it."
His pain seemed to increase as she said it, but his face was an expressionless mask. "You are right, but I must meditate before I can give you an answer as to what to do. Please leave me now. I have much to consider, as have you."
"All right. Contact me when you've reached a decision."
Spock nodded stiffly and turned away, his action prompting tears of both anger and hatred in Christine's eyes—directed more at herself than Spock. She couldn't blame him for feeling as he did, knowing she would probably feel the same way in his place...but at least she would have given him a chance to rectify things!
He was simply breaking off their relationship and calling off their wedding as though there had never been anything between them. It was as if he wanted to erase all traces of its ever having existed—but their bonding couldn't be gotten rid of that easily. Each knew how the other really felt despite their outward reaction and while the bond still existed, there was hope. Meanwhile, they had to be apart to get their thoughts together...and perhaps discuss it with their friends—carry on as best they could.
She stole one last look at Spock before heading out. He was lying on his left side on his bed, his back to her and his shoulders shaking slightly. He certainly wasn't meditating, so was it possible that he was...crying?
Spock? she called hesitantly.
Go! I wish to be alone, he ordered.
Are you all right? Tell me you're all right and I'll go.
I will be all right. Now leave me!
Christine still didn't want to go, but had been left with no choice, so she did--thankful she didn't run into anyone between Spock's quarters and her own. Upon arrival, she showered and changed into her nightgown, then slid into bed and buried her face in her pillow to cry herself to sleep.
eight
Over the ensuing days, each tried to conceal the fact that they had had a quarrel and called off their planned marriage. But Spock's unusual (even for him) moodiness and snappish replies to questions, even though he always apologized, and Christine's coming into work exhausted and red-eyed could not help but indicate to their friends that something was terribly wrong between them.
Neither was inclined to discuss what had happened (possibly attempting to keep the pain at arm's length), but the incident would have to be addressed sooner or later. And the way the two acted when in proximity to each other—either stiffly polite or each acting like the other wasn't there—was a cry for help, whether the parties involved would admit it or not.
Most tragic of all was the fact they still loved each other. They needed to sit down and talk again, but how could it possibly be brought about when the pair wouldn't stay in the same room together for more than five minutes at a stretch?
Kirk, McCoy and Uhura finally got together and discussed ways to help straighten things out between their friends and shipmates.
First, the couple had to admit they needed help and allow their friends to supply that help...but knowing how stubborn each was, that wasn't going to be easy. The first (and most difficult) step was going to be approaching Spock, discussing it with him and getting the Vulcan to tell Kirk what was wrong. After that, possibly, they could discuss it with McCoy, who was not only their friend, colleague and a top-flight surgeon, but an expert in psychology.
They left it to Uhura to approach Christine, but McCoy had told the Communications Officer to contact him in case of necessity. The couple's personal problems hadn't affected their efficiency (yet), but if left unchecked, they soon would. That would do neither Spock, Christine, nor the Enterprise crew any good, so the sooner something was done, the better.
Kirk decided to try to talk to Spock once they had gotten off-duty on stardate 7419, two days before the planned wedding. With luck, the marriage could still take place on schedule, but first, both of the concerned parties had to have some sense knocked into them. Literally, if verbal persuasion didn't work.
That night, the Captain approached his Vulcan friend in the latter's quarters. Both wore civilian clothes off-duty this particular day. Kirk's outfit was an off-white, long-sleeved embroidered shirt with black pants and matching socks with earthtone sandals. Spock wore a long black meditation robe with full sleeves and a rope-like belt. He had removed his boots and wore only socks on his feet. The Vulcan sat on his bed with his harp in his lap, his long, slender fingers playing the most beautiful yet melancholy song Kirk had ever heard.
"Feeling sad about something—or someone, Spock?" Kirk asked as he approached, voice gentle and kind.
The reply was tightly controlled. "I have no idea what you mean."
"Come off it, Spock. This is me, Jim...your friend. If you're hurting over something, let me help."
"I am fine. Nothing is wrong."
Spock's eyes were cold and hard, yet held more pain and anguish in their dark depths than Kirk had imagined possible. His friend was deeply hurt over something and he vowed to find out why—and who had caused it.
This time, Kirk's face hardened, though his voice was still gentle. "As Bones would say, 'In a pig's eye.' Now what's happened? You've got to get it off your chest or else it will destroy you. What kind of friend would I be if I let that happen when I was able to effect help?"
Spock sighed, sensing his friend's sincerity and concern, needing to talk in spite of his reluctance to do so. He set his harp aside and bowed his head, motioning Kirk to come into the sleeping alcove and sit down next to him on his bed.
"Very well, Jim, if you insist. It has to do with some-thing Christine told me three days ago. Something having to do with our...mission together on Sapphira VII two months ago."
"What about it?"Spock took a deep breath and squared his shoulders as he stood up and stepped over to the nearby food synthesizer to call up a glass of tulac for himself and Altair water for Kirk. He handed the Altair water to Kirk and took a swallow of tulac, holding the glass tightly—trying to gather strength to talk, Kirk surmised.
The Vulcan had always had trouble discussing private things, even with Kirk, much less Christine or McCoy...and Kirk's hunch had been right. It had been something she had said which was causing Spock such pain. In the end, it would probably be necessary to have all five of them sit down together in order to hammer out a solution to the problem now facing them. In the meantime, however, it was just the two of them—Jim and Spock. Colleagues, friends, even brothers in all but blood.
"She...told me that the Sapphiran leader had told her that all newcomers to the planet were to be—observed their first night together."
Kirk's eyes widened. "You didn't know this before?"Spock shook his head. "No. Christine claimed she had not told me because she knew it would distress me."
"And would it have, if she'd told you?" The Captain's tone was neutral.
"Yes, but I would have...felt better in the long run, knowing, instead of having it kept from me."
"Sounds like she had a good reason. From what little I know of her, Christine doesn't seem to be the kind of person who would deliberately lie."
"That is not the point, Jim," the Vulcan bit out. "The point is, she deceived me, if only by silence, as T'Pring did—and I trusted her."
Spock's eyes closed in pain. For which woman, Kirk couldn't have said for sure, but his money was on Christine, since Spock loved her. The tie to T'Pring had been a bonding performed out of duty to his father and Vulcan heritage. He had not cared for her any more than she had for him...and it hadn't improved matters when she had forced Spock to fight Kirk. Nor had Spock's anguish when he thought he'd killed his commander and closest friend. The Captain was sure that neither he nor Spock would ever forgive T'Pring for that, but that was irrelevant now.
"Spock, I can't blame you for being upset. I would be, too, in your place...but unlike T'Pring, you've got to know that Christine loves you. She would do anything short of murder to protect you."
Spock took another swallow of tulac, then a deep breath. "What kind of love is it that believes it acceptable to deceive the beloved? And what if I did not wish to be protected?"
Kirk sighed deeply and took a swig of Altair water. "Spock, when you love someone and you see that your loved one is in danger of any kind, your natural instinct is to want to protect her, keep her from any and all harm. I can't speak from experience, of course, but as far as I can tell, it's the same way with women.
"Even what you told me about what happened when your mother came to you and begged you to relinquish command of the ship in order to give blood to save your father proves my point. She acted as she did because Sarek was in danger of losing his life and because she loved him, she felt she had to take steps to prevent that...seeing you as the only means of saving him.
"I believe that is also why Christine did what she did. She saw it as the only way to keep you from harm. I know how honest you are, how much you abhor deception, but you can't let one mistake stand between you like this. If she'd done it before, that would be one thing, but whatever Christine has done, it's usually been out of love for you. She's sacrificed her own happiness and denied her feelings time and again for the sake of preserving yours and sparing you embarrassment. That should count for something."
"But if she can deceive me once, how can I let myself believe that she will not do it again?"
"You can't...but it's senseless to throw away your only chance for happiness and the truest love you've ever had from a woman simply because of one unfortunate incident. I know how happy you've been since the two of you have been together, Spock. I don't want to see that end—especially not over a trivial thing like this.
"True love is far too rare, much too precious to throw away on a whim. You must not allow her to slip through your fingers or else you could end up regretting it for the rest of your life. I can't bear to see you hurt any more. Don't do this to yourself...or to her, my friend. Both of you have suffered enough."
By this time, the Vulcan felt unbidden tears mist his eyes, knowing that Jim was right—but how could he ever make amends for the way he had hurt Christine? He had to try or else he could lose her forever. However much her deception had hurt, it would be infinitely more painful to be without her after having known and shared her love—and given her his own.
"But how can I expect her to...take me back after the way I have—doubted her?""You've got to trust in her love for you. Love is a great motivation for forgiveness. Now is your wedding still on?"
Spock smiled slightly. "I...would like to believe so, but that will depend on the outcome of my next discussion with her."
"In that case, you would do well to speak to her as soon as you see her again, whatever you have to do to accomplish it."
Kirk looked up and saw both cautious hope and fear in his Vulcan friend's dark eyes. "If it would make you feel better, I could be nearby—or both Bones and I could be there, if you don't mind."
The Vulcan nodded in gratitude. "That would be...appreciated, Jim. I may need your help—or that of the Doctor."
"We'll be there." Kirk smiled warmly. "Just say when."
In the next moment, the two looked at each other and the Captain opened his arms to offer his Vulcan friend a haven of security and unconditional love. In the latter's present state of mind, such an offer was impossible to resist. The arms around Spock were warm, strong and loving, the voice speaking to him affectionate and soothing. So much so that he again felt tears in his eyes and had no desire to hold them back.
Kirk was both surprised and pleased to discover his friend softly sobbing, arms awkwardly circling his waist in a tight hug. He stroked the Vulcan's silky dark hair with one hand as Spock's head rested on his shoulder. The Human's other arm was securely around the latter's slender waist. Even as Kirk crooned soothing words, he thought, Oh, my friend, how could you put yourself through such pain? Especially when it was all so needless?
Neither had any idea how much time had passed by the time they separated—and neither did they care. What mattered was that Spock had been unable to unburden himself and release his pain. The Captain could only hope that Uhura could get Chris-tine to do the same. Only then could she and Spock "kiss and make up", then get married as planned.
"Are you all right now, Spock?" Kirk asked once the Vulcan's arms loosened and he had lifted his head from his Human friend's shoulder.
The lean, austere face was tear-streaked and flushed, the brown eyes swollen and green-rimmed but dry. "Yes, Jim. You will never know how much you have helped me."
"That's what friends are for. Now are you ready to talk to Christine?"
Spock nodded, albeit reluctantly.
"Then let's go see if we can find her."
The two men left Spock's quarters after the latter had freshened up, but found McCoy first and it was only after a heart-to-heart talk in the Doctor's office that the three sought out Christine and Uhura.
But Christine was having her own problems, not the least of which was the fact that her period was late—and she had always been as regular as clockwork. What if she was pregnant? That would be all she needed, with she and Spock virtually at each other's throats. Neither did she want him to feel obligated to marry her simply because of the baby, in the event her pregnancy test was positive.
If that happened, she would have to tell Spock. If she thought she were going through Hell now, what would happen if she didn't tell him he was going to be a father and he found out, would make her life a walk in the park by comparison. If it had happened, it would have to have been after their bonding in his quarters, the first and only time she and Spock had made love.
McCoy didn't know exactly what had happened to cause Spock and Christine to break up. If he knew Spock, it was over some trivial thing. One thing he did know, however, was that the First Officer and Assistant Chief Medical Officer still loved each other, despite their attempts to pretend otherwise. Should Christine actually be pregnant, the one thing which would thaw the Vulcan was the knowledge of his upcoming fatherhood.
The Doctor wished that he could be the one to tell Spock and see how the Vulcan reacted, but McCoy knew also that Christine would want to do it despite the bad feelings currently between herself and Spock. Whatever else Spock was, he would not walk away from his responsibilities.
Family was everything to Vulcans, second only to logic—so whatever problems had driven him and Christine apart, Spock would move Heaven and Earth (or Vulcan, in this case) to have his child at his side. Given Spock's own background, the child would probably be raised in a combination of Vulcan and Human philosophies...and hopefully with the mother of that child present as his wife.
nine
"Well, you've certainly done it now, Chris. I warned you that Spock might react like that." Uhura was pacing the floor in the living area of her quarters in front of a seated Christine.
Christine's tone was peevish. "Nyota, do me a favor and shut up. I know what I've done; I don't need a lecture. But I am worried about one thing."
"Such as?""My period is late," came the reply.
Uhura's eyes widened like saucers. "Oh, my God. Do you think you might be pregnant?"
Christine shrugged. "Couldn't say. I haven't had the pregnancy test yet—but I've always been regular, so it's a distinct possibility...especially considering what happened the day of our bonding."
"What will you do if you are?""Tell Spock. What else? I've got enough trouble as it is without inviting more by keeping it from him."
Uhura nodded, her lips twisted wryly. "I see your point."
"But even if I am, and I tell him, how do I know he'll even believe me—that he won't think it merely an attempt to get back into his good graces?"
Uhura scowled. "Spock should know better than to think that you would ever lie about a thing like that."
"Ordinarily, yes, but given the mood he's in right now, he's not about to listen to the voices of reason."
"Talk about being between the proverbial rock and a hard place," Uhura remarked. "We'll just have to keep our fingers crossed that the Captain will be able to talk some sense into him."
"I'm crossing my toes, too," came the deadpan reply.
A short time later, the women decided to go to the Officers' Lounge for something to eat. They had finished their meals and were just sitting and talking over cups of coffee, Christine's a steaming mug of vanilla cappuccino.
"I wish to God I'd told Spock about the observing at the outset, Nyota. It wasn't worth all the pain we've endured. If I'd told him the truth, we'd never have broken up. It was all my fault!"
"There's nothing you can do about it now, Chris, so there's no sense in browbeating yourself. You're also underestimating the Captain's silver tongue. If anybody can bring Spock back to his senses, he can."
"I never thought I'd say this," the other woman said as if her friend hadn't spoken. "But I pray to God I'm not pregnant. How would I ever break it to him? He'd never believe me. How can I convince him I'm for real?"
"Have him be present at the pregnancy test," Uhura suggested even as she heard the doors to the Officers' Lounge open and saw Kirk, Spock and McCoy heading their way. "At the moment, however, I suggest you think of another way—and do it fast."
Christine looked up, turning white as a sheet as she saw the three men coming toward them, Spock in the lead. "Oh, dear God. What do I do now?"
"He doesn't look upset, Chris. It's probably nothing."
"For Heaven's sake, Nyota, Spock rarely 'looks' upset! He's barely spoken to me the last three days, but now he's seeking me out. Why?"
"As I said earlier, the Captain's silver tongue. Too bad mine isn't. Otherwise, it would be you rushing to seek him out!" the Communications Officer threw back.
Christine made a face. "Thanks a lot. That was a big help. What did you intend to do for an encore?"
Uhura's face hardened. "What I should have done three days ago—knock you down and sit on you! Then knock your and Spock's heads together. Maybe then, enough rocks will be beaten out of them so that you and he will start thinking straight again, apologize to each other and get back together!"
The three men arrived at this point, and heard Uhura's tirade as well as Christine, shock written all over their faces—especially Spock's.
"Don't look at me like that," she scolded them. "You know I'm right. And now that we're all here, Mr. Spock, how about having a beautiful scene where you and Christine apologize for all the things you said to each other? Then you can declare that you never meant any of them, that it was your hurt talking. After that, you can kiss and make up so we can have that wedding we've all waited so long for."
Once Spock recovered from the shock of what Uhura had said, he spoke as though he hadn't heard a word. The only person he seemed conscious of was Christine. "Christine, I must speak to you."
Christine hid her fear as best she could as she looked up to meet his eyes. "Yes, Spock, what is it?"
"I wish to apologize," he told her softly. "I had no right to judge you so harshly. You were correct to do as you did to protect me. Unfortunately, I did not realize this until Jim reminded me that you did everything out of love."
Christine allowed tenderness to show in her voice. "I could have told you that. In fact, I did—but you were too busy being properly outraged."
"Shows that even a Vulcan can learn something." McCoy, the next to find his voice, grinned wickedly.
"Bones..." Kirk was the last, and his voice was a warning.
The Doctor gave the Captain an injured look, but kept quiet. A stage-whisper reinforced it.
"There's a reconciliation in progress here. Don't screw it up."
"May I sit down?" the Vulcan asked.
Christine smiled and nodded; Kirk and McCoy slid in next to Uhura. Every once in a while the couple squeezed each other's hands, but otherwise simply held hands where the others couldn't see.
Please forgive me, Spock apologized...the first thing he'd said through the bond for the past three days.
Of course, my love, she returned.
Will you—take me back, and do you...still wish to marry me? His mind-voice was laced with uncertainty.
Silly Vulcan—of course I do! Her 'voice' was affectionately exasperated. She wanted to kiss him, but couldn't with their audience. I wish we were alone, so I could show you how much.
Spock projected unspoken love as he replied. I know, but it will happen soon enough. Be strong, m'chejan. They exchanged a private smile, then another hand-squeezing when they thought their friends weren't looking.
M'chejan? You never called me that before, Christine pointed out, both happy and incredulous at his action. What does it mean?
We were never bonded before. I have never...loved like this before.
Spock's mind-voice was laced with wonder at the revelation, and an even greater wonder swept over him at the knowledge. For a long time, the Vulcan had been unsure if he were even capable of it. Now that he knew otherwise, he credited his friends (particularly Kirk) and Christine for triggering the virtually untapped well of love and devotion deep inside his hybrid heart.
For that, he would be forever grateful to them—and her. He was truly "lucky" to have found friends like Jim and McCoy, a bondmate such as Christine, and to have been granted a mother like Amanda. Surely no other being in the Galaxy had been so blessed.
His lack of mental response went on so long that Christine became concerned. Spock, I asked you a question. Her manner was quiet and loving, if a tad impatient.
The Vulcan looked up with tenderness and regret in his eyes. Forgive me, Christine. I was...distracted.
Her smile showed that he had been forgiven.
In answer to your question, 'm'chejan' is a Vulcan term of endearment, meaning 'my chosen'. It is how my father has referred to Mother, usually when they believed I was not around to overhear. If you like, I will always call you that, too.
Only if you want to, Spock.
I want to. His consciousness embraced hers.
They had forgotten about their friends some time ago and the three knew it—but far from being insulted, they understood and made themselves scarce in order to give their friends privacy. At least scarce to the point of moving across the room, occasionally stealing glances at their favorite couple.
The pair looked at each other and smiled again, uncaring if their friends (or anyone else) saw them. Their three days apart had been three days too long, and would never happen again if they could help it. It was too painful. Spock lifted Christine's hand to his lips and kissed it. Only then did the two come back to reality, raising their heads to look up and find their friends gone.
"Oh, my God." Christine spoke out loud for the first time in what seemed like ages. "I forgot all about Nyota and the others. Are they still here?"
Spock spotted the three across the room, within sight but not earshot. Kirk smiled and waved when their eyes met; the Vulcan nodded and gave a half-smile in return.
"They are seated across the room."
"We've got to apologize to them. Heaven only knows what they must think!"Spock's voice was quiet but firm. "I am sure they understand, Christine. They could not be our friends and not understand."
Christine sighed, but had to agree. "You're right, of course. How silly of me. Even so, we've still got to tell them that the wedding is on again."
This time Spock mirrored his bondmate's actions. "Then we shall do so."
The couple got up and walked across the room to their friends, openly holding hands, but not even McCoy could bring himself to tease them. He was too happy and relieved that things had worked out. The trio smiled in greeting; the pair responded in kind.
"Jim, I now believe it is safe to say that the wedding is 'on' again, as Christine puts it."
Kirk smiled again. "That's wonderful, Spock. I'm happy for you both. You deserve each other." This was meant in the nicest of ways, however, and the couple knew it.
"Yeah, what he said," the Doctor concurred, even as Uhura smiled and nodded in agreement.
"Thank you, Jim, Doctor, Miss Uhura." The Vulcan then focused his attention on McCoy. "Doctor, I would be...honored if you would stand with me as my 'best man', since the Captain is to perform the wedding."
"And I would be honored to accept, Spock." The Doctor's reply held all the affection for the Vulcan which McCoy normally kept hidden.
Christine looked at Uhura, but the dark woman spoke before her friend could. "Before you ask, Chris, I would be happy to be your maid of honor, but now we've got to get busy; there's only two days before the wedding!" Everyone had to agree, and knew they would be busy probably right up to the time of the ceremony—but it would be worth every minute.
"You two, write stargrams to your parents right now," Kirk told them. "That's an order!"
Both Spock and Christine replied, "Yes, sir!" and departed.
Kirk then looked at the others and said, "We'd better get to bed now, people. We've got a lot of work to do and not a hell of a lot of time to do it in!"
Neither McCoy nor Uhura argued the point; they simply followed the Captain out after the bridal couple-to-be had left. All went to their quarters for a much-needed rest, for there wasn't going to be much time for that in the next couple of days...not if they intended to pull the wedding off as planned!