Disclaimer: Not mine, ever and never. Mashashi Kishimoto-san owns my SOUL also.
Warning: Shonen ai, fluff and deadpan humor that will rot the hell outta your brain.
Pairings: Sasunaru; Neji/Gaa/Naru, Ino/Shika, Lee/Saku, Kakairu

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So You're In Love With Your Best Friend?
Chapter Four--Sasuke's On My List of Things to Do Today
Naruto's POV

o-o-o

...What?

Don't look at me like that. I couldn't stand it. Being away from Sasuke is like being away from your mentally abusing, yet lovably drunk father. You just can't do it. Especially when the sex is good. But not incestous... er okay, not a very good analogy, whatever. Hahah I sound like Sourpuss, I mean Sasuke.

And then I had Sakura and Lee to deal with. How fun was that? Not very fun, thanks. All they did was make out and ask me what I was doing under their couch. I was hiding from the shear terror that is Rock Lee's hand as it's going up Sakura's shirt. His face really needs to... um, change? Yeah. Not a pretty site in the midst of passion. Oh god... Ew.

Sasuke's face, however.

Mmmmmm. Sasuke.

But back to what happened. My original plan wasn't to maul Sasuke like that... but on the way home, er Sasuke's house, I ran into a certain red headed psycho path...

-

Smiling slightly, because the sun was oh so bright and cheerful looking up in the sky this day, I move to open the door, barely escaping the disgusting heterosexual kissy noises that are coming from the living room. It sounds disturbingly like if a bear and a hyena fucked...

Mwha. Or Sakura and Lee. I swear. Staying there was like staying in the farthest pits of Hell. And Sakura's all, "Oh my god, I love you Sasuke, babies now?..." to his face but in private, she's like, "Lee-chan! You're so cu-te!"

Um, ew.

I'm not going to beg Sasuke or anything, nor am I going to give in. I'm just going to say, "listen bitch, move your fat ass." And that'll be that. Yep. Sasuke will be too shocked to sex me up and I'll just walk right in and lock him out of 'our' room. My idea is so completely ingenious, that I almost end up walking straight into Gaara that I'm so engrossed. Luckily, my Naruto-Sense kicks in, and I do a supper cool ninja move to dodge him.

Which ends with me stumbling into a stupid fucking bush.

Damn you bush. I will have re-

"Hey... Naruto."

Aw, Gaara's so adorable when he tries to smile. Try being the keyword there. You'd think it would be really pretty considering how soft spoken he is, and shy. But it's like a kid with one of those old timey head set kind of braces that has globes of bananas stuck in their teeth. A little painful, but he gets a bowel of Raman for attempting!

His pale (oh my god, he's like a vampire now that I think about it!) hand reaches out, and I take it, his deceptive strength playing a part of setting me back on my feet.

"D'you think, maybe you want to go catch a movie Friday?" he half mutters, his eyes anywhere but my face. He's so different than Sasuke. Perhaps it's why I'm drawn to him? That, or he's so sweet he gives me cavites.

I grin, and pretend to think about it for a few minutes, y'know, just to let him sweat it out. I nod slowly, before I truthfully realize what Gaara's just asked me.

A date?

Okay, I like him... but I don't want to lead him on...

But I do want to hurt Sasuke.

Although going through Gaara isn't the best of ideas. And Sasuke isn't even going to see.

But...

Gaara's hot. Not like Sasuke hot, more like... Neji hot. He's not completely popular, and his attitude isn't what you'd go for, but deep down you know he's got something. Though Neji would never hear me call him hot. Gross.

Mmm.

So perhaps a free meal and some innocent kissing. Sounds like a plan.

"Yeah," I whisper finally, his eyes sparking from simply leaf green to an over powering emerald. It makes my heart want to stop, and that scares the shit out of me. Because...

Because Sasuke is the only one that's ever made that happen.

Granted, the circumstances were a hell of a lot different.

He steps a bit closer, the eyeliner around his eyes standing out more than anything. I smile and place a hand on his shoulder. "Call me?" To my surprise, he leans in a little, and it makes me jump up, our lips connecting slightly, but enough that I want more and draw him down again after he breaks away.

Gaara has a delicious taste. Like fresh apples and fruit juice, strangely, and his mouth opens for my probing tongue, our faces trying to consume one another completely as our frantic kisses grow desperate. I really don't know who Gaara's been kissing, but it's got to be somebody because fuck it's so good.

We come apart, and I frown, wanting more, and not below shamelessly mewling for it. He smiles that sexy, sly smile of his and steps back, leaving me aching. His gorgeous lips are beside my ear, breath hot enough that I shiver when he speaks again. Though the words are sadly disconcerting. "I saw you in the bathroom... with him... are you -"

"Are you stalking me?" I hiss, pushing him away gently. This is kind of weird...

He looks completely out of his element, which makes me feel bad, as his voice wavers with the next sentence. "N.. No, it's not like that Naruto. I saw you two go to the bathroom, and he seemed so aggressive... that I -"

"Oh," I sigh, a breathless laugh escaping, because the memory gives me giggles. Sasuke deserved it! "That's cool then. You just kinda freaked me out. But we're not together, or anything..."

"Ah. Sorry, then. I didn't mean to..."

"No, no it's okay. Hope I didn't scare you, um, 'cause I like you Gaara..."

Fuck me (please), but I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks like a third grader in love. Or an inexperienced whore in lust, but that's my own analogy.

Gaara sort of half smiles, half sighs, and backs up. "I like.. you too. Well, I've got to go... I was supposed to be at my psychiatrists thirty minutes ago." He smirks when he continues, "But this was way better."

"See you Friday, " I squeal slightly, and no I couldn't help it because Gaara took my arm and scribbled his number on it, indicating for me to do the same to him. And I did.

I couldn't stop the sappy grin on my face as we departed from each other.

But unbearably raw lust eats at me, and I haven't gotten laid in so long that it's time to...

Let the stupid, fat ass Uchiha win.

-

So now I'm up against Sasuke's car, him biting my neck and his leg between my own, rubbing and massaging and just - driving me fucking crazy.

If I could talk, man he would be so bitched out right now. Because I hate being treated like some piece of flesh to be molded into submission. But gah, he just licked my Adam's apple, slowly, and bit down, smirking against my flesh.

Growling, and in the mood to be completely tempting, I slowly whisper against his cheek, "Gaara asked me out today..." in the softest, sexiest voice I can muster while trying to sound casual at the same time. I turn just in time to see his eyes flash like a light, his hands tightening on my ass.

"And?"

I gasp in surprise, dammit, and the sound is a dead give away. Sasuke smirks that arrogant, saucy smirk, and picks me up bodily, heading for the front door. "It won't work Naruto. You know you'll just come back to me, like now."

I growl in response, biting his ear. He's lucky I'm so damn horny from Gaara, or I'd fuck him up. I allow him to carry me upstairs and throw me on the bed. I'm a sucker for the rough stuff, myself.

And this is where he takes me until I threaten certain areas bodily harm.

Isn't life grand?

-

"That hurt, teme," I murmur sleepily against his chest, smiling with shattered tenderness. It isn't always like this after sex. Usually he pushes me off onto the floor, and grumpily falls asleep. This time, his arm is securely around me, and we're actually basking in the afterglow.

It gives me a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach.

His fingers ghost over my shoulder, his mouth slightly ajar, eyes unfocused. I giggle, and he looks down at me with a silent glare, but doesn't say anything. My hand flicks his nipple gently. He scratches his forehead sleepily.

"You're not going Friday," he says solidly, nails scraping deliciously at the nape of my neck. I purr lowly until he stops, smug as the cat that caught the canary. Bastard!

"Uhm, yeah. I am, Sasuke - teme!"

His nipple looks so tempting while I eye it... yummy. Sasuke's body is so...

"No. You're staying here with me, and we're doing a repeat performance of today. Hah, and it's only six-thirty." He draws his voice suddenly, deep and completely seductive. "Think of the possibilities..."

He's so frustrating!

But that does sound awfully nice... maybe a Sasuke dinner, and a Sasuke desert... and then a Sasuke midnight snack! Yes, oh fuck yes...

But Gaara...?

Dear sweet Gaara, he's licking the shell of my ear. God, he's so fast. I'm on my back and he's over me a second after. I like it, though, because his eyes aren't cold and untouchable like this... they're soft almost, and beautiful.

Only for me.

Only for you.

'Course, I'd never tell 'em that, but you know.

Ah! "Sa..."

His hair is tickling my nose, a groan slipping through my lips like water. He's everywhere at once it seems, kissing me, loving me. He's tender, probably only this time to persuade me, and fuck, it's working.

And I hate that. He's not... not even serious. He doesn't care about anyone. Why should he care about me?

"Sasu - Sasuke, stop."

"You don't sound very convincing, dobe."

"Mm. But I am." I smile, a slow tear treading down my face. At that he does get off me, confused, maybe a little scared.

He voice is calm, but underneath it feels frantic to me. "Did I hurt you? We've done this a frickin million time's before..."

"Not this," I whisper, turning on my side. "Stop being an asshole. I thought you weren't gay?"

At that, a blush creeps on his pale face, accenting it. I would tease him if I wasn't so pissed off.

He gets up, moving for the bathroom. When he reaches the door, he faces me, snarling, "Fuck you, Naruto," before going in. Instead of responding, I grab my clothes, nearly tripping over his many belts in the process and hightail it out of there.

Where am I going to go now?

I don't even know where Gaara lives.

Sakura is in her mating thing... whatev. You know what I'm talking about.

I know where Ino lives, but she would side with Sasuke... we're not even fighting, but at the mention of Sasuke she goes off, so I know if I was to say, "Hey Ino can I stay her Sasuke is being a fuckwit - "

She'd beat me, and then leave my broken, battered body for her pet Tasmanian Devil, Sparky. Sparky is a fucker.

Shikamaru is too lazy. He wouldn't open the door.

Hm, they're a weird couple anyway.

Kakashi?

Iruka?

But they live together, and ew. All they do is have sex...

Okay, so maybe that's all me and Sasuke used to do, but they're old.

Hinata would let me stay. But that bastard Neji... I know how he looks at me. Like he wants to nail my head to a board at chop off my dick. All 'cause he has a crush on Sasuke, even though he'd never admit it. And Hinata has a crush on me so that's not the best of ideas, even if she wouldn't try anything. Can never be too carefull... the quiet ones are always the hidden rapists in disguise!

Y'know, Gaara and Neji would make a supper cute couple, no matter how much I despise Neji. (FUCKING BURN IN HELL STUPIDEYEBOY!) But that's not the point.

Anyway, I've just wasted ten minutes thinking of a place to stay, in the middle of the road. A man is coming out of his car... closer, SHIT!

He picks me up, and throws me onto the grass of Sasuke's very house, and the bastard is laughing his ass off at the doorway. The other people behind the asshole that pitched me cheer happily, driving by with glee, and flicking me off while beeping their fucking horns in the process.

I look back at Sasuke, who glares and slams the door shut behind him.

BASTARD!

"This Sasuke's house?" a gruff voice asks above me, and I look up into ruby eyes.

Oh... my god.

-

TBC...

Yay! Long chapter. For me, at least. Let say, EFF YOU FF DOT NET. K.

And this might be weird, but the inspiration to write this was Adam's Sandler's crappy music. It just made me think of Naruto. And I giggled all through this.

For those of you that want Itachi in the story... you'll get your wish: but I'unno when... so bare with me. Who knows, maybe he's already IN the story and you just missed it! Maybe if you REVIEW I might tell you (hinthint). Like, say, a hundred? That sounds nice.

Also, if anyone has some good Sasunaru doujinshi...?

Until next time. And yes, there will actually be plot this time! -gasp-