Disclaimer: -sigh- Hasn't happened yet.
Warning: Obnoxious yaoi here, and there and a sprinkle of het. But mostly obnoxious yaoi. -cheers-
Pairing: SasuNaruGaa, Minor KakaIru, LeeSaku, ShikaIno, NejiSasuHina

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So You're In Love With Your Best Friend?
Chapter Six: My Other Half (the Homicidal Maniac)
Sasuke's POV

o-o-o

Today has been the worst day of my life. Of course, I'm an Uchiha, so technically, I'm not supposed to like any day. But, this monstrosity has shot up the latter pretty damn fast. My eye twitches violently as I stare down a MOST unwelcome visitor. Someone who I wish was dead.

Yes, I do.

And no, it's not Orochimaru.

Close.

Fuck a duck. I am that pissed.

Itachi. My brother. My...

Urgh.

And he's smiling. I wish it would rain. And lightning would magically come down from the puffy white sky and strike this man dead, leaving his mangled body convulsing on my porch.

Okay, not really. I don't hate him that much.

But enough.

"Sasuke!" He sweeps me up in a hug. I don't return it. I don't even think about returning it. He might get some ideas that I don't want to participate in. When he realizes that no, I am not going to touch him, he drags his freshly painted black nails across his chest, smile curving into a vicious smirk. "You aren't going to invite me in?"

"No." I glare for good measure.

He barges in anyway. He has a bag. What the hell? He's not staying in my house. No fucking way.

"Decent, I must say..."

Growling, I slam the door and follow him into the kitchen, narrowing my eyes while he picks at the bright yellow wall paper. "It wasn't my idea."

His eyebrows rise curtly. "Oh? That blond boy outside?"

I have two options here.

I'd never thought it would come to this...

A, I could shrug and act nonchalant... but he would clue in on that if Naruto ever came home. B, I could tell him to mind his fucking business and get rilled up, and it would make me feel better. Hm...

"What... blond boy?" I choose to go for the less interesting letter, C, that would soon get tired of A and B and slaughter them in their sleep. He's destructive like that. I quickly formulate a plan. Plan Stupid. Itachi has an intelligent complex, so we'll see how it works out.

"You know... the one kneeling at my feet like some common homeless person." He snickers at that. I'm slightly amused at Naruto being a homo - hobo. Slightly, I said... "He ran away after he told me this was your house."

"You didn't know?"

Itachi rolls his eyes as he sits on the kitchen counter, me mentally making a note to bleach it later and leaning against it casually. "Like I keep track of you, little brother."

"Then why are you here," I counter softly, narrowing my eyes just the slightest. Something about him puts me on edge. Like he's about to transfer his obnoxious gayness onto me. He's being tame as we speak, but I know Itachi. Normal and Itachi are two words never used in the same sentence, ever.

He sighs softly, his head shifting, neck making little disgusting popping noises. Um.. ew. Checking the clock swiftly, I realize how long I've spent with him and shudder. Naruto should be at Iruka's about now... sulkily getting ready for his... date... with that redheaded psycho. God, I hate Gaara. Almost, if not more that Itachi.

Said man scratches his stomach absently.

Goddammit.

Awkward silence.

I bite my lip, trying to keep my next sentence brief and to the point.

"Well, I hate you, Itachi -let's face it- and you're annoying. Be outta my house by the time I get back... from the ... cleaners."

Crimson eyes lock with mine while I saunter out of the kitchen. "Oh? What for? And why should I? I think I like this town, Sasuke dearest. And I'm sure I haven't met your little friend. He seems interesting, don't you think?"

HATE. ITACHI.

Wisely, I don't make a sound as I leave. If I did he would take it for victory. He better fucking be gone... hate... kill... maim... fuck - NARUTO - not... kill... cock... ass... kill...

o-o-o

"Hey! D'you know that there's duck tape on the - "

"Yeah."

"Oh."

My blood quickly heats up. A simple conversation is enough to PISS me off. How dare that fucking poor, low life - shit!- he almost saw me. I bet he knows I'm here... bet he's waiting... to... to do something horrible nasty, that little punk. I readjust the magazine covering my face, slowly making my way into the theater behind them. No, I'm not stalking them.

That would be stupid.

Besides, I want to see this movie...

Well not really. Not a movie person, but that's not the damn point. I just, as a friend,... Naruto's virginity shouldn't go to some half baked asshole named Gaara.

"Excuse me, Sa... Sasuke-kun, but what are you doing here... watching Naruto-kun and Gaara-kun?"

The whiny brat Hinata is staring me down. I know she wants a piece of Naruto, too. But she's too shy to go for it. And, he's also too gay to touch a vagina. Hm. Works out. Behind her is her most annoying cousin, Neji.

Who I wish wouldn't breathe on me in gym class, but my pleas are never quite answered, now are they?

"Nothing," I grumble, adjusting the magazine. Naruto's standing at the snack bar, ordering his weight in crap he doesn't need. If that were me I'd tell him to starve or suck it. It's usually effective, actually. And we both get what we want But I... forget it.

Gaara's shelling out money. My god, he can count... hmph.

"Sasuke - "

"Shut it, Neji," I hiss, clenching my teeth. He squints those white eyes of his that are completely illogical and, crosses his arms, staring me down.

"I was merely asking if you'd like to join - "

"SHUT UP NEJI... wait, what?"

Damn. I was ready for that one, just took me off guard...

He glares and acts like it actually pains him to repeat the sentence. I hate Neji most of the time. This, is one of those times.

"We're planning on watching Pirates Two, would you like to join us?" He blushes softly, and I consider his offer. Truthfully it doesn't appeal to me. But...

Yes, I would be closer to Naruto without being conspicuous. Yes, I have a valid reason for being here if he questions. But, Neji breathing on me... disgusting. But okay.

"Fine."

Hinata sends me a tight smile, but I jauntily ignore it as I begin to talk to Neji, hoping that my voice carries while we walk by Naruto and Gaara and FUCK Gaara did not just smirk at me -wannatearhimapart- rip your face off you won't be smiling then...

Neji taps on my shoulder. "Is there a problem Sasuke?"

I can hear the grinds in my head working, tweaking, slightly worried that Itachi has left my house in shambles, but mostly angry at the cocky asshole with lame red hair.

We descend into the darkened movie theater, previews beginning to show. I have to sit in between the two blushing idiots, who only serve one purpose.

Naruto, I notice casually, is bouncing.

"Man, I have so wanted to see this movie again. It's pretty amazing Gaara, believe it!"

Sadly, my lips twitch up, and I can't hide a small smile. His old childish catch phrase repeating in my ear.

"Mm. I bet. Naruto, can I - er - "

"What Gaara?"

"I... mean, would you let me - "

Naruto continues to stare. Gaara continues to act like a little girl.

It amuses me slightly.

Well, it did until Gaara just reaches over and curls an incredibly pale arm around MY property, who is pleasantly not aware of the implications. A tearing feeling blossoms in my chest, my conscious for the most part unheard. I rip Neji's straw from his soda viciously and stab it at Gaara's head, smirking triumphantly when he turns back at me, heat radiating off him in waves.

He mouths, Fuck You.

I mouth, No Thanks, and precede to kick his seat. Naruto squeals when a loud shooting sound comes from the screen. I sigh. That damn coffin scene is his favorite.

Scanning the Hyuuga's remaining junk food consumption, I pick up a piece of ranch covered popcorn, disgusting by the way, and toss it at Gaara just as he's leaning toward Naruto's cheek. It leaves a funny looking white mark on his temple. Hah.

Finally, two shocked blue eyes meet mine. Gaara sits back smugly, letting Naruto do all the shrieking.

Very well, might I add.

"Uchiha fucking Sasuke! What the HELL d'you think you're doing stalking me? And in'a movie theater with Neji? You know I hate him, ggaaah - I hate you Neji! - oh and hi Hinata-chan, but anyway, you fucking suck! Why can't you go - "

Neji looks slightly uncomfortable and disgruntled. Hinata is blushy and sweating.

"Who says I'm not on a date, Uzumaki?" I reply calmly. Possibly, grabbing Neji's clammy hand was not a good idea. Maybe, Naruto reaching across the seat to claw at Neji's hair, wasn't either. Gaara grabs Naruto's ass, shuffling him back in his chair, barely restraining him, while I glare at the psycho.

An annoyingly bright light flashes in our eyes. I turn in time to get a nose full of flashlight.

"Is there a problem?" a boy asks lazily.

When I'm about to answer, Naruto stands briskly and walks past him, Gaara's slimy hand in his. "No, no problem. We were just leaving, right Gaara?" He makes sure to stare pointedly at me as he leaves.

Gaara nods, almost happily.

Asshole.

My fist crushes Neji's hand, which is still lodged between my fingers.

Absently, I hear his scream.

o-o-o

TBC...

I'm really ubber sorry this took so long. I just, every time I tried to write, I hit another brick-Neji.

And thanks for returning reviewers! You all made me and my Gaa-plushy happy. :D

So as long as you will review, I will try my DAMNEDEST to make this the stupidest, pwpist yaoi thing you can imagine. And just MAYBE I will write a limeish thing, the masses choice. Yup. But only either SasuNaru or GaaNaru.