Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. All I own is about a million pictures on my laptop. You know – Psycho Ed, Cute Ed, Sexy Ed, Naked Ed, RoyEd… -Author goes into fangirl mode-
Chapter 5
"Winry! We have some guests!"
Winry dropped the automail she was working on. "How bad is it!" she wailed. "I'm afraid to look! My poor, beautiful automail! Noooooo!" She pulled out her wrench as an evil glint appeared in her eyes. "I'm going to kill him! I'm going to kill him soooooo dead!" she announced.
"Put it away" said Pinako. "You're automail is fine"
"Don't spare me!" said Winry dramatically. "I can take it!"
"I'm sure you can" said Pinako "But your automail is fine"
Winry blinkd. "You're serious?"
Pinako nodded. Winry started wriggling with joy. "Oh my god! We actually got a visit that wasn't due to the destruction of my automail!"
Something occurred to her. She stopped wriggling and froze. "There's a catch, isn't there? Something else has happened"
Pinako sighed. "Probably" she admitted.
"Oh well. Let's go find out what it is, then"
"What do you mean, you're pregnant!" Everyone in the room winced and covered their ears, but Winry was just getting started.
"COLONEL MUSTANG HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO OUR AL!" She turned to Al. "Oh my god, I'm actually going to be an auntie!" she squealed.
Al nodded. Winry's expression turned furious again instantly as she turned back to Roy. "HOW ON EARTH DID YOU MANAGE TO GET HIM PREGNANT!"
Roy cowered in his seat. "Well–"
"NO!" Winry held her hand to her eyes in the classic pose of long-suffering martyrdom. "I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!"
She turned back to Al. Her expression turned excited. "What are you going to call it!"
"We don't know yet" said Al. "But can you stop yelling at Roy? The rest of us are going deaf"
"Oh, I'm sorry. He just makes me so ANGRY!" she screamed "HOW COULD YOU–" She was dragged away by Pinako.
"Why me?" whimpered Roy.
It was decided that Al, Roy and Ed remain at the Rockbell's for a couple of weeks. Poor Roy resigned himself to two weeks of living hell – he would, after all, be living under the same roof as both Winry and Edward.
Al, though he knew Roy wasn't too happy about the arrangements, was glad for the chance to spend some time with his family.
Throughout the two weeks, Roy could be found skulking about any dark corners he could find, hiding from either Winry or Ed alternately.
Al and Pinako tried their best to keep the peace, but the two blondes were adamant that Roy was a bastard and not good enough for their Al.
Finally, Al, Roy and Ed returned to Central. Lord knows how Ed had managed to get two weeks off like that… actually, we do too. Riza Hawkeye truly was a marvel. Even pregnant, she could run a whole country.
When Roy got back to work, HQ was a shambles. Riza had finally consented to take the day off, Havoc having convinced her that the military could survive without her for one day. Apparently, Havoc was wrong.
Roy stared at Breda, stuck to the ceiling, hiding from Capt. Thomas, who had apparently tried to hit on him.
While Roy's attention was focused on the man on the ceiling, he tripped over one of Sheska's many piles of books and landed on a random gadget, crushing it to smithereens. She and Fuery were comparing obsessions on the floor.
Roy tried to pick himself up off the floor, but was knocked flat on his face by Falman, who was swinging from the ceiling fan, obviously drunk. The evidence was in the three dozen or so beer bottles lying around on the floor in-between books and gadgets.
Armstrong and his sparkles were posing in a corner. Their audience had long ago been KO'd by light exposure.
Breda finally lost his grip on the ceiling and fell, just missing Roy. He instead fell right on top of Capt. Thomas, squashing the poor man flat.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!" Roy roared. Everyone who was conscious froze. All that could be heard was the squeaking of the ceiling fan as it continued to propel a suddenly stiff Falman round and round and round and… well, you get the point.
"You have thirty seconds to clean up this mess and get back to work" Roy said in a dangerously low voice, doing his best impersonation of Riza. There was a sudden scramble of activity.
In exactly 29.5 seconds the place was spotless. Well, spotless except for the pile of bodies in the corner, which Breda had made sure Capt. Thomas was at the bottom of.
Once he was sure everyone was working, Roy sat down at his desk – leaving his office door open – and began to do his paperwork. That was the only reason he'd ever go near the hated stuff of his own accord – to show everyone else that they'd been bad, bad, bad dogs.
I'm running out of ideas here, so I'm going to skip a bit more time and go straight to the birth. Hehe, Roy's so gonna freak out…
Please review, flames accepted, blah, blah, blah…