NOOOO!!!!!! I have to write this again because I didn't save and lost my file! NOOOO!!!!! I don't wanna write this again but I guess I have to. Here it is. The ANNOYINGLY long chapter of my parody.

Outside in the cold, snowy, crowded weather.

Harry Dum dum dum. OOH! Sees a sign. Hogsmeade left! Aw shit that's too bad.

Girls HOGSMEADE!

Harry What the hell? Wait...Hogsmeade is left! Okay. I hope this invisibility cloak is working great.

In this shop.

Harry Hey thanks Neville. Takes Neville's lollipop.

Neville What but I just- Sir, can I have the same thing I had? Someone stole mine.

Shopkeeper Takes a stick. No free samples.

Neville HELP ME!

Harry walks up to Fred and George who are building a snowman.

Fred And now the left arm!

George And there goes the right.

Fred and George eyes Harry. They take him from his arms and walks away.

Harry AAAHHH!!!I am so sorry! It's not like I was trying to trespass Hogsmeade or anything! Honest! Just don't take me to Jail!

George We taught him some good stuff.

Fred Yup. I agree.

Harry Where are we going?

Fred Oh just a surprisingly place.

Harry Is that a word?

George Oh shut up!

Fred and George laughes in an evil tone.

Harry AH!!!

In this room.

Fred George, show him what we got. This is an early Christmas present.

George Gladly Fred. Takes out a gun and points it at Harry.

Harry Oh shit!

Fred Main catch phrase? Oh shit? Is the Something-Bad-is-going-to-happen?

Harry Yes...um...PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!

George HAHAHA! Shoots the lock on the door.

Fred Finally! No one will have to pay money to get here ever again.

George Fred, show him what you got.

Fred Okay then. Takes out an Army Knife and runs toward Harry holding him on the shoulder. Hahaha! My evilest scheme I have ever done!

Harry Oh please don't kill me! I have to die in book 7!(Maybe.)

Fred Too bad! Raises his knife and slashes an apple into thirds. I have killed a fruit! One for George. One for me. And here's one for you Harry.

Harry Erm thanks. Now what were you going to show me again?

George This! Takes out a book.

Harry What the hell!? You want me to study!?

Fred Takes out a gallon of gas and a match. Here is our sacrifice. Takes the book from George and puts gas all over it. Then he blows it up with a match.

Harry Oh. Phew. You know you could've just put a match in it.

George Yeah yeah yeah. Here is our real prize. Takes out a map.

Harry A piece of old shit?

George Not just any shit.

Fred It's the Marauder Map!

George It can tell you access everywhere in Hogwarts! Watch. I solemnly swear I am up to no good. Shows a picture saying "BIG ASS" then says 'THE MARAUDER MAP"

Harry Wow! Where'd you get it!?

Fred We stole it from this hobo.

Harry Oh good plan. say why is McGonagall and Dumbledore together?

Fred What the hell?

George No way!

Fred They're having sex!

Harry,Fred, and George AAHH!!!!!! Harry takes the map and runs away.

While Harry had his invisibility cloak he saw Hermione and Malfoy dissing each other.

Hermione You have no girlfriends!

Malfoy Well you have no boyfriends!

Awkward pause.

Hermione Wanna go on a date?

Malfoy 7:00 sharp.

Harry (In his mind.)What the hell! What a traider! Takes a snowball and hurls it at Malfoy.

Malfoy Ah! What the hell!

Goyle I'm scared!

Crabbe I gotta pee!

Harry Takes down Crabbe's pants showing his pink, flowered boxers. Ha!

Ron What the hell!? That's mine!

Awkward pause.

Ron Er...HAHAHAHA!

Goyle Ah! We're haunted!

Harry Kicks Goyle in his ass.

Goyle Eyah!!!

Malfoy Easy there Goyle! Takes out a sledgehammer and since he can't see Harry he accidently hits Goyle in the balls.

Goyle AHH!!!!!!!!

Harry Mwahahaha! Continues throwing snowballs at Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle until they ran away.

Hermione and Ron HAHAHAHAHA! LOL!

Ron Huh? His hat straps keeps going up and down. Hermione, I'm haunted!

Hermione HARRY!

Harry Takes off invisibility cloak. Hahaha! Hahaha! ...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Hermione Okay Harry! You're acting like a maniac now.

Near this shop.

Harry And that is why I'm here.

Ron For candy?

Harry Pff. Yeah.

Hermione But I thought you were here for-

Harry Blah blah blah!

Flitwick, McGonagall, Rosmerta, and Fudge appears in a sled and goes to a store.

Harry Say!? Where are they going?

Hermione You're not going in there, right?

Ron Pff yeah right!

Hermione Ron.

Ron It's like this Hermione, why in the world would Harry go into a shop filled with heads?

Hermione Ron.

Ron I mean what kind of bastard would go to an unknown place!?

Hermione OH GOD DAMN IT RON!

Ron What?

Hermione Harry just went in the shop!

Ron Pff. Yeah right! Say where is Harry? Holy crap! He did go into the shop!

Hermione Yeah! Thanks for telling me something I already knew!

Ron Hey! Thanks.

Hermione Jackass! Tries going into the shop but there's a bunch of heads telling them not too.

Head#1 Get the h-e-double hockey sticks outta here!

Head#3 He's quite religious. GET OUT!

Head#2 Yeah! What the lady said!

Hermione How rude.

Harry's point of view of his eavesdropping.

Rosmerta Okay what do you want!?

McGonagall I have a secret to tell you. I am not minerva MGonagll in real life. I'm just this actor.

Rosmerta ...that's it?

Fudge ...that is all? Right? No. Far no it isn't. We really wanted to tell you that I'm really an irish dude.

Rosmerta Oh god damn it! Tell me what you REALLY want.

McGonagall Haven't you ever wonder why Sirius Black came to our castle to the Gryffindor Common Room?

Rosmerta Smoking weeds. No.

McGonagall Good. Because I don't either.

Fudge Well actually we have a hunch. We think he wants to kill Harry.

Rosmerta GASP! You mean t-t-the-

Fudge I'm afraid so.

Rosmerta No! No! No! Not the book series "Horrible Harry"! NO!!!

Fudge. McGonagall, and Flitwick rolls there eyes.

Flitwick You bastard! Ever heard of HARRY POTTER!

Rosmerta Who?

McGonagall Nevermind. You see I think Sirius wants to kill Harry for somewhat revenge.

Rosmerta What has he ever done?

McGonagall I don't know. Maybe he stole a dime he dropped.

Fudge Hmm. Actually now I seem to think that Sirius isn't hunting Harry down but this meddiling, animagus rat.

Everybody stares at him.

McGonagall Pff! Yeah right! Like that'll ever happen!

Fudge Ah but it will.

Rosmerta The plot would be better if we think Sirius wants to kill Harry!

Fudge Oh fine! But soon it'll be the way I said it! You know my conclusion.

McGonagall Who knows. The author decides that. Isn't that right Potterfan1232?

Nothing happens.

McGonagall Okay. Oh yeah and if Harry is here! You're going to die from Black! You're going to die from Black!

Harry That's it I'm out of here!

Outside. Ron and Hermione are playing "Go fish"

Ron Got any zeroes?

Hermione What!? That's impossible to get!

Ron Nuh uh! Look! Shows Hermione his hands and a zero which is supposedly to be a ten.

Hermione (Cough) IDIOT!(Cough)

Harry Comes out from the door and pushes Ron down. Go to hell you bastard!

Hermione What the hell? Harry!

While Harry is still wearing his invisibility cloak Hermione and Ron is following his footprints until they see Harry sitting on a rock. Hermione takes the cloak off and sees Harry who is crying.

Harry Black. Sob. Sirius Black. Sob. He wants to kill me!

Ron Oh my god!

Harry If he wants to kill me I'll kill him. I'm going to kill him! And when I do I'll be ready. I'll kick him in the nuts and then start choking him!

Ron Instead why don't you do this. Put your right foot in and put your right foot out! Shake it all around and do the Hokey Pokey now.

Harry I think I'll stick my plan.

Oh my-Oh my-Oh my god! This chapter is so long! My hands hurt, I'm tired. I'm looking forward to reviews. Because this is long you should be cracking up for a few minutes. Or hours. Good luck sufficating. I hope you enjoyed this chapter of my parody. Thanks for reading it.

P.S. I'm not sure if I did this in the right order. In your reviews tell me if I put this right or wrong.