THE NEXT DAY. . .

It was Saturday in the clock tower. The Rangers had the day off of doing odd jobs, so everyone was excited. While Trip was upstairs doing some work-related thing, the others were figuring out what to have for breakfast.

"How about oatmeal?" Jen asked.

"I hate oatmeal!" Wes whined.

"Your lack of cooperation is you taking out your passive-aggression on others." Lucas told Wes.

"You're only berating Wes because you're insecure!" Katie yelled.

At that point, the whole thing turned into a fist fight. Trip was disturbed by the noise, so he came downstairs to see what was up. The others were duking it out, and simultaneously yelling their breakfast suggestions.

"Guys!" Trip yelled. "Why don't we have pizza for breakfast?" Everyone stopped to look at Trip.

"Hey, yeah, let's do that." Wes agreed.

"I'll go order it." Jen said. While she was ordering the pizza, everyone else played paper football. A few minutes later Jen came back.

"All right, guys. The pizza's ordered, but the delivery services are down for the day. Someone's gonna have to pick it up."

"How about we vote on who should pick up the pizza?" Trip asked.

"Good idea." Wes said. "All in favor of Trip picking up the pizza, say 'Aye'."

Everyone said 'Aye', except Trip.

"Well, there that is." Wes smiled.

Trip sighed. "All right. Just let me change first. I can't pick up the pizza in my pajamas."

"All in favor of him picking up the pizza in his pajamas?" Wes asked.

"Aye." Everyone said, except Trip. Then everyone shoved him out the door, in his pajamas.

"LET'S PLAY FOOSBALL!" Wes yelled. Everyone cheered. Trip sighed.

"Muh." He muttered. So he went and picked up the pizza, in his pajamas. Everyone who saw him laughed hysterically. Trip was absolutely mortified. So he was walking down the street, not paying any attention as to where he was going. Suddenly he bumped into a girl, sending her sprawling. As she fell, she knocked the pizza box out of his hands. The pizza box fell open, and she fell on the pizza. When she stood up, Trip could see her shirt was ruined. His pizza was ground permanently into it. Trip cringed, waiting for her to give him the chew-out of his life.

The girl asked, "Are you okay?"

Trip was shocked. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had asked him that. He had to think about it for a minute. "Yeah, I'm okay."

"Gosh, I'm so sorry," She said.

Trip was amazed. "For what?" He asked. "I ruined your top."

"Yeah, but I ruined your pizza." She said embarrassedly. "I'll pay for it."

"Wow, thank you." Trip said.

After that Trip got another pizza. Trip said he needed to sit down for a moment. She sat next to him, and they started talking. Before either of them had realized it, an hour had passed. Trip looked at his watch.

"Oh, my gosh! I was supposed to be back almost an hour ago." Trip said. "I'm sorry, I have to go."

"Well, it was nice talking to you Trip. You want to go to the Italian Stallion and have dinner with me tonight?" She asked.

"Okay." Trip said excitedly.

"Here's my contact information, and I will meet you there at eight."

"Okay. Bye." Trip said dreamily. He watched her as she left. He looked back at his watch, then ran the rest of the way home.

Back at the clock tower, the others were worried. "Where's Trip? He was supposed to be here an hour ago." Katie said.

"Yeah, if I don't eat soon, my digestive system will be irregular for weeks." Wes moaned.

"Your digestive system is the LAST thing I want to think about right now." Jen growled.

"You're just insecure about your knowledge due to your sheltered upbringing." Lucas said.

"Back off, Lucas. Your egocentrism is based on the belief that you were ignored during childhood." Katie said.

"You're one to talk about egocentrism, Katie. You're only putting Lucas down to cope with your deep-seated insecurity!" Wes yelled.

At that point the whole thing broke out into a fist fight.

Then Trip approached the door of the clock tower just in time to see Katie tear it off its hinges. She then broke off the doorknob and tried to force-feed it to Wes. Then Jen threw Lucas outside, with only Trip to cushion the blow. Lucas picked himself up off of Trip, and happened to notice that he was back with pizza.

"Hey, you guys, the pizza's here!" Lucas yelled excitedly.

The others stopped fighting immediately. "All RIGHT!" Wes cheered. He, Jen and Lucas dived out of the clock tower and mauled Trip for his pizza. Once they had it, they ran back inside, leaving poor Trip sprawled out on the steps of the clock tower. Katie stayed back and helped Trip up. Then Katie went back to get some pizza. Trip walked about five steps into the clock tower, then he sat down in the middle of the floor.

The other Rangers didn't even notice that Trip wasn't sharing in their pizza. About twenty minutes later, after they were finished eating, they noticed something was off.

"Hey, guys." Lucas asked. "How come there's pizza left over? Don't we usually finish the whole thing?"

"Hey, yeah." Wes agreed. "There's four slices left over."

"Trip usually eats four slices of pizza." Katie noted.

"Wait, where is Trip?" Jen asked. "I haven't seen him since he came home."

"Let's go look for him." Katie suggested. The four of them nodded to each other and headed off. They found him sitting on the living room floor about ten feet away. Trip had this big, stupid grin on his face and he was muttering dreamily about something.

"Trip, are you okay?" Katie asked. Trip didn't seem to notice her.

"What the hell is WRONG WITH HIM?" Wes shouted.

"TRIP!" Jen yelled. Trip jumped and got up really fast.

"I'm sorry!" Trip said all nervously.

"Trip, what's wrong with you? You're not eating, you're talking to yourself and you're acting kinda dopey!" Jen told him.

"I'm sorry. I've just been kinda distracted because when I was out today I met this girl and she was really nice and we talked for an hour and now she's going to have dinner with me tonight!" Trip beamed.

"Yeah, right." Lucas said. "You expect us to believe that some girl asked you out?"

"She did!" Trip insisted. "And she gave me her contact information." Trip produced a piece of paper. Lucas took it from him.

"Christi Jackson." Lucas read aloud. "Wow, there's actually a woman in this world who's willing to take you out!" He said amusedly.

"Wow, congratulations, Trip." Katie smiled.

"Thanks. I can't WAIT!" Trip beamed.

Lucas put his hand on Trip's shoulder in a supportive manner. "What are you gonna wear?"

Trip's entire body froze. "I have to WEAR something?" Trip cried in horror.

"TRIP'S A FUCKING STREAKER!" Wes yelled. "SCANDAL!!"

Trip ignored Wes. "Lucas, you HAVE to help me! I have a date tonight and CAN'T SHOW UP FOR MY FIRST DATE EVER AND LOOK LIKE A TOTAL LOSER AND ENDURE SEVENTEEN MORE LONG, DATELESS YEARS!!" He screamed in horror.

"Do my odd jobs for a month and I'll think about it." Lucas said flippantly.

"I'll do your odd jobs for a YEAR if you can help me!" Trip promised.

"All right. First thing we have to do is get rid of that nerdy orange jacket. It's been driving me crazy for months." Lucas started.

And Lucas continued in such a manner for several hours. He painstakingly and throughly explained to Trip how to behave on a date, dine on a date, what to say on a date, etc. By the time he got to Trip's wardrobe, he was shocked and appalled to find that all of his outfits looked exactly the same. So he hooked Trip up with a black, long-sleeved lycra shirt, some form-fitting jeans, and some decent shoes.

He very carefully did Trip's hair, then jammed his bucket hat on top of it. Lucas finished with a layer of his favorite body spray, and took a step back to examine his transformation.

"Okay, Trip, you're ready for your date with Christi." Lucas said with a nod of satisfaction.

"Good. I'm so nervous. I haven't eaten anything since last night." Trip said shakily.

"One more thing, Trip. DON'T EAT LIKE A PIG! Just relax and you'll be just fine." Lucas assured him.

"Okay. 'Bye, guys." Trip said nervously.

"'Bye." Everyone called.

Trip headed out the door. He was freaking out the entire time on the way over. Every time he thought about what Lucas said, his stomach knotted. But then, when he thought about spending the evening with Christi, he realized he couldn't wait. When he got to the doors of the Italian Stallion, he had to stop to catch his breath. He was so scared. But then, he told himself that it was Christi, that she was really nice and just wanted to get to know him better. Trip smiled at the thought, then took a deep breath and summoned all the courage in him. Finally he opened the doors to the restraunt and went inside. Even though he was ten minutes early, he was pleased to see that Christi was already waiting for him. He went over to her.

"Hi, Christi." Trip said exstaically.

"Hi." Christi said shyly. Trip was surprised to see that she seemed as nervous as him.

Trip was amazed at how beautiful Christi was. Her black eyes sparkled, her silken locks of braided hair shone, and her body was slight and toned. Her skin looked so amazingly smooth, he wanted to stroke it.

"You look really nice." Trip said.

"Oh. Thank you." Christi said breathlessly. Her cheeks pinkend a little.

The rest of the date was incredible. The two of them spent two hours talking, and it took them even longer to eat their halves of their stallion burger. It seemed to Trip as though the night could go on forever. Which was just as well, because it was the best night of his life. Finally, they had to leave. Trip offered to walk Christi home, and she delightedly accepted. They walked as slowly as possible, savoring every shared moment. Eventually, they reached Christi's front porch, and Christi asked him to have lunch with her the next day. Trip gleefully accepted.

"Thanks for everything, Trip." Christi said.

"Thank you. That was the most fun I've ever had." Trip said. Christi hugged him tightly, and as he embraced her, he savored how warm and smooth she was. As they held onto each other,

Christi said, "You're the most wonderful, amazing human being I've ever encountered."

"Th-thank you." Trip said self-consciously. What she had said struck him.

"Good night." Christi said as her slight figure slipped into her house.

"Good night." Trip said quietly. He sighed and headed in the direction of the clock tower. When he reached the clock tower door, he noted that everything seemed peaceful, no sounds of waking people, all was quiet. Then he opened the door. Trip gaped in shock. The clock tower was a disaster! In the three hours he was gone, his teammates had somehow managed to make the clock tower look like hell. There were empty pizza boxes, beer bottles, streamers, and a pile of shit in the corner. Wes, Jen, Katie and Lucas were on the floor about twelve feet away, each holding a beer bottle. They were playing Crazy Scrabbattleopolyship Eights, a board game of Wes's creation. The four of them didn't even notice that Trip was home. They were so drunk, they probably didn't remember that Trip had left. Trip stayed for a moment to see what would happen next.

Lucas said, "Okay. I lay the word 'enzymes,' which is all seven letters so I get the fifty point bonus, and I form a s-hook on the word 'cab,' thus changing it to 'scab,' so I get scored for that. Also, since the intersecting letter is on B8 relative to Jen's fleet, I sunk her carrier. A sunk ship entitles me to move eight spaces, and since I lay the three of hearts, I'm sending. . . You to jail, Wes!" He cried triumphantly.

"Awww, Fuck." Wes whined.

"Wes, why do you have to be so crude?" Jen moaned.

"Back off, Jen. Wes is entitled to his psychosexual inclinations, and you're only attacking him due to your insecurity which stems from lack of attention." Lucas said.

"You're one to talk about insecurity, Lucas. You're shifting the focus off of you because you have low self-esteem!" Jen yelled.

Katie yelled something at Lucas, but she was so drunk, and slurred her words so badly that Trip had no idea what she had said. It must have been pretty offensive, because that would provide a logical explanation for Lucas sucker-punching Katie. Meanwhile, Jen grounded and pounded Wes. Trip sighed, and went upstairs. He decided to check the DNA scan's progress. He typed in a few lines of code, which brought him to the mainframe. There was a Twenty percent DNA match, which was progress, of course, but that was still only the beginning. There was nothing he could do to speed the process. He decided to go to bed, even though he knew that wasn't going to make him think any less about what Christi had said. The sentence played in his head over and over.

"You're the most wonderful, amazing human being I've ever met." He couldn't forget it. The way she'd said it, the way her eyes took on an even brighter shine when she had said it. He knew he couldn't tell her that he wasn't even human. But even if he could, what would Christi think? The question kept him awake all night.