Look at this chapter and look how long it is! It has so many words and best of all a lot of humor! Have fun reading this chapter.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione is walking down to Hagrid's hut.

Harry Say look at Buckbeak!

Ron He looks happy! Aren't you?

Hermione You idiot! He's sad!

Ron And how would you know that know it all?

Hermione Well...look at his face. Look at his head that's down.

Harry Well a lot of shit he's looking at a dead ferret that he wants to eat.

Ron Yeah! What Harry said.

Hermione Let's just ask Hagrid.

In Hagrid's hut.

Hagrid Crying. It's today.

Harry Today what? Today's my killing spree day! Thanks for reminding me! Now only if I could find my SSR-4000.

Hagrid No you lots! Today's the day I lose my friend.

Ron Look Hagrid! I'll only be gone in Hogsmeade for a few hours! Or days...

Hagrid No! I'm going to lose a hippogriff.

Harry A hippogriff!? What's that? A hippy?

Hermione No you idiot! Have you been listening at any of Hagrid's lessons?

Harry No.

Ron Yeah. Me neither.

Hagrid I'm losing-

Harry in a video game?

Hagrid ARGH! NO! I'M LOSING-

Ron My heart?

Hagrid UGH! Picks Ron up and flings him out the window. Ron jumps back in. Buckbeak! Buckeak's neck is-

Harry Going through puberty?

Hagrid NO! Picks up Harry and throws him out the window. HE'S GOING TO LOSE A HEAD! IT'S GOING TO BE-

Hermione Chopped off?

Hagrid Yes. That earns a throw for you. Picks up Hermione ready to throw her out of the window. Harry comes out from the door.

Harry Sorry. I was looking for my-Sees Hermione getting closer to him in the air. Oh shit. Gets flinged out the door with Hermione.

Ron Throwing spree?

Hagrid Yup.

Harry and Hermione comes in. Suddenly this stone just destroys a jar. Then this stone hit Harry in the back.

Harry Ow! Which bastard did that?

Hagrid Looks out the window and sees Dumbledore, Cornelius Fudge, and um...Macnair I think? I'm not so sure. Oh no! Run children! The execution's going to start!

Harry, Ron, and Hermione runs away from the back door. They run up to a hill.

Harry Hey look! Buckbeak's eating the ferrets!

Hermione Hears something from the bush. Wait I think I heard something! Oh nevermind. It was my...imagination.

Harry Pff! It's not like it's Hermione and I from the future.

Ron It could be!

Harry Did you take pills today, Ron?

Hermione Shh! Look! The axman! He's out there. The axman raises his ax and swipe! Chops an organism.

Hermione starts crying all over Harry's sweater.

Harry Hey! Get off my sweater! This costed me 23 gallons!

Ron Uh huh. Like we care. Ow! Scabber bites Ron and then runs away. He bit me!

Harry And ditched you.

Ron Can you wait here for a moment. I've got to go potty. Goes to a nearby tree.

Hermione Ron, your rat just ran away! Don't you care.

Ron While pissing on a tree. Why do I care?

Hermione Remember what your mom told you about Scabber.

Flashback.

Mrs Weasley Don't lose Scabber!

Ron Pff. It's not like I'm going to be chased down by this dog and Scabber turns into this guy. Like that'll ever happen.

Flashback ends.

Few minutes of silence.

Ron Oh shit we've gotta look for him!

Harry Why the sudden change of heart?

Ron Do you know what my mom does to me when I lose Scabber! She'd yell at me and spank me in the butt!

Harry Like I care!

Ron But we've got to save him!

Harry No no no no no no no. YOU'VE gotta save him!

Ron But...but...WWWWAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!! Starts crying.

Harry No.

Ron Fine then! I'll go!

Ron sees Scabber and quickly takes him.

Ron You naughty rat! You tried to run away from me!

Hermione You notice what that tree is?

Harry No.

Hermione Well I don't either.

Harry I remember that tree crashed our car but what is it?

Ron Aw! A cute little doggy! Come here boy! Come here boy!

Harry Holy shit the Grim! Please don't kill me!

Dog Grr.

The dog runs over to Harry and jumps over him. Then the dog takes Ron by the leg and drags him into the Whomping Willow.

Harry Run!

Harry and Hermione tries getting into the Whomping Willow but is hit by a branch. They go flying.

Harry Holy shitness! What the hell just happened!

Hermione The tree is so strong!

Harry We've got to run!

They try running again and then split apart by a few feet because a branch was going to hit in between them. Then a branch is ready to hit Harry.

Hermione Harry! Watch out!

Harry Watch out for what? Ugh! Gets flinged into the air and loses his glasses. I'm blind! My eyesight is so blurry!

Hermione Jumps over a branch. Haha! Suddenly is hit by the stomech and is on the moving branch.

Harry I'm blind! I'm blind! I'm blind!

Hermione AH!!!

Hermione is 100 feet in the air and is suddenly falling down, getting hit by many branches.

Harry There's my glasses! Sees Hermione's hand into Harry's sleeve. Of course I'll marry you. WHOA!

Harry is flinged in the air with Hermione holding on to him. Then Hermione throws him into the Whomping Willow.

Harry Well that was jolly nice. Gets hit my Hermione.

Hermione Innocent voice. Oh I'm sorry!

Harry Damn straight you are! You hit me in the back and-Pauses for a moment. You know. You look kinda sexy when your hurt. Gets hit by Hermione. Was that on purpose?

Hermione Uh huh.

In the Whomping Willow.

Ron Brain damage! Brain Damage! Brain Damage! Help! Help!

Harry Don't worry Ron! We're coming!

Ron Don't help! Don't help! It's a trap!

Harry Rolls his eyes. Must be brain damage.

After getting upstairs they see Ron on a bed.

Harry Ron! Are you okay!?

Ron I told you to run! That dog's no dog! It's an animagus!

Trio sees dogprints and looks up at a human.

Harry You. You're Sirius Black.

Hermione If you want to kill Harry your going to have to kill us first!

Sirius Only one will die tonight.

Harry And that'll be you! Chokes Sirius. Sirius just laughes.

Ron Hermione! I don't wanna die! I'm too sexy to die!

Harry Takes out his wand. You're going to die now!

Lupin Expelliarmus! Harry loses his wand.

Hermione You were always with him! You were always his friend!

Lupin So?

Hermione You should be fired!

Lupin Uh huh. And what else do you know?

Hermione You're a werewolf! That's why you've been missing classes!

Lupin You sure are the brightest kid in class.

Hermione Thanks!

Lupin Have some chocolate.

Hermione Thanks!

Lupin I am friends with Black. Got a problem with that!?

Sirius Ah! What the hell! Lets kill him!

Lupin Wait. Let me-

Sirius I've done my waiting! For thirteen years! IN AZKABAN!

Lupin ...here. Gives Sirius his wand. But give me a minute.

Harry He killed my parents! He betrayed them.

Lupin Yes, someone did kill your parents but it was someone else.

Sirius And he's still alive!

Lupin Ever since you told me that the person I thought to be dead was on the map. I went potty and started thinking. Who the hell is he? And then a lightbulb came to my head. Ah yes! The guy I thought to be dead!

Harry Who!?

Sirius Peter Pettigrew! And here's right here in this room! Come out Come out, Peter! Come-

Snape Shut up! Ooh! Revenge seems to feel so good. And a little...guilty.

Lupin Oh shit. We're dead.

Snape You will not kill them! Ava-

Harry Expelliarmus! Snape crashes into the bed. Where is he!?

Sirius In this room! Over there! Points at Ron.

Ron What!? Me! But that's overly mental!

Sirius Oh not you! The rat!

Ron Scabber's been in my family's generation for-

Sirius thirteen years!

Ron No it was 525,600 years!

Sirius Oh you stupid! That was Scabber's family generation! By the way, he's missing a toe!

Ron So what!? It's not like Peter Pettigrew was missing a toe.

Lupin Actually he did!

Ron Oh my god!

Sirius Lets kill him!

Scabber Oh shit! Runs away. Goes under a piano, does the matrix. Takes a small cheese eating break. Uses the force to go out the window but fails. Goes under a table until Lupin transforms Scabber to Peter Pettigrew.

Peter Remus! Sirius! My old friends. Tries to run away but Remus and Sirius pushes the fatso.

Sirius You're going to die!

Peter Whimper! Goes over to Harry. I may be a fatso but I heard that Remus eats so many chocolate and Sirius has fleas!

Sirius How dare you talk to Harry like that!? You're dead meat! Re-

Harry No stop! We have to take him to Hogwarts!

Sirius What!?

Peter Thank you!

Harry And then we'll make him die painfully from the dementors and let them suck out his soul!

Sirius That's my boy!

Peter Whimper.

Harry Whatcha gonna do now!?

Quite long. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. The story has a few more chapters into it so don't think it's all over. Hope you liked this chapter!