Who Am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

Author's Note: sigh sorry guys but for some reason I still can't upload any word documents so I had to save it as plain text and upload it that way, so if I have missed any formatting changes or punctuation that has gone missing, I am really sorry. Still ... at least I can upload my updates which is better than not being able to at all!!!

CHAPTER 4

Sam sat wrapped in a warm blanket but still shivering violently, he had given up trying to hold his coffee cup without spilling

the contents. He watched Dean through slitted eyes as his older brother enjoyed his breakfast, Missouri showing no signs

of her own ordeal last night chatted away to Dean but Sam couldn't hear what either one was saying.

Two young boys drifted into his thoughts, he could see them clearly.

A younger one aged around nine, with dark brown hair and a permanent scowl on his face watching his big brother

carefully sharpen the hunting knife, his older brother looked around thirteen. A small smile played on Sam's lips as he

watched the brothers interact with each other, 'so Sammy you got it now, until Dad says so you're not allowed to touch the

knife'

'Yeah I knows is just.'

'Just nothin' Sammy you might cut yourself or worse then Dad will have my ass not yours.'

'Not fair Dean, how come you get to do all the fun stuff.'

'Coz I am older, smarter, and better lookin' than you.'

'Hey Sammy, earth to Sam Dude you okay?'

'Huh?' Sam blinked and stared up at Dean and Missouri with a confused look on his face, 'what's wrong?'

'Where were you man?' Dean asked squatting down in front of Sam so he was at eye level with his sibling.

'Oh, sorry I was just ... Dean ... I just remembered something,' Sam grinned at his brother, 'dude you should see the look on

your face.'

'What was it Sam? What did you remember?' Dean asked trying to tone down his own excitement.

'Umm, I guess you were around thirteen and I was nine, I was watching you clean your hunting knife, I thought it wasn't fair

that Dad let you do all the fun stuff and you said.'

'I said I'm older, smarter, and better looking than you.' Dean finished for Sam, 'then you tried to show me just how grown up

you were.'

'I – I sported a shiner for a week, and all Dad could say was that I should have ducked.' Sam laughed aloud, 'I think it's

starting to come back.'

'Slowly but surely Sam, but for now I want you to eat and drink and not have it come back!' Missouri said patting Sam's arm

in a motherly gesture. 'You're all skin and bone Samuel Winchester, and that I don't need any psychic stuff to know.'

'Yes Ma'am,' Sam ducked his head to hide his grin, Missouri ticked him off, it felt right it felt normal.

Dean watched his younger brother pick at his breakfast, he had eaten maybe two mouthfuls, the rest of the time he pushed

the food around his plate. 'Sammy do you want me to feed you like a baby?' he asked finally tired of watching him.

'What?' Sam asked unaware that Dean was watching him eat, 'I guess I'm not hungry.'

'Dude, eat please just humour me,' Dean asked a serious look descending over his handsome face masking the smile he

had earlier. 'You can't afford to keep losing weight, I don't want to take you back to the hospital but...' he let the implied

threat hang in the air as Sam took another small mouthful of bacon and scrambled eggs tentatively chewing and swallowing

with some effort.

'Dude you okay?' Dean asked ready to spring up and help Sam.

'Yeah I'm fine, I think my throat is still a little sore from all the tubes and stuff,' Sam mumbled washing the food down with a

sip of juice. 'Eww Missouri I think that your juice has soured.'

'Nonsense boy, it's just you so drink a little more and make me happy.' Missouri dismissed his protests with a wave of her

hand and a glance over to her overly large wooden spoon hanging on the wall. Finally, after finishing his juice and two more

mouthfuls of his breakfast Sam pushed himself away from the table and stood unsteadily, paling he put his hand out to

steady himself on the table a look of shock and then realisation played across his face, 'what did you?'

'Dean help you brother to his bed please, ' Missouri said as she cleared the dishes, 'I think he needs a nap.'

'Missouri what was in the juice?' Sam forced the words out, slurring them slightly as the sedative started to take affect.

'Me? Boy what you accusing me of?' Missouri feigned innocence as she watched Dean guide Sam to the bedroom.

'So Missouri what did you give Sam?' Dean demanded after he finished settling Sam into his bed, 'he's dead to the world'

'Just a little sleeping mix with a protection mix,' Missouri replied casually, 'he'll sleep and not dream.'

'You sure?'

'Son you sassing me?' 'No Ma'am not at all,' Dean held his hands up in mock surrender, 'need help with the dishes?'

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'Come to me Samuel, come to me my son, it is time for you to take your rightful place and start your training. Your

destiny must be fulfilled.'

'Who are you?'

'I am your father, I am your Master, I am your life, and I am the one who can restore that which you have lost.'

'Stop it, you're confusing me,' Sam shook his head trying to clear the fogginess. 'what have you done to me?'

'I have done nothing to you that is not preordained in your destiny.'

'Stop saying that, you have no idea where my destiny lies, hell I don't even know!'

'I have watched you Samuel, I have nurtured you, and I have allowed you to see a glimpse of what you can be.'

'Look whatever you're selling I'm not buying.'

'Do not cross me boy, I can crush you as quick as look at you.'

'Plenty have tried before you, what makes you any different?'

'Perhaps if I crush your brother instead then you will obey me.'

'I have no idea who you are ... hell I don't even know who I am so how can you threaten me like that!'

'Perhaps it is time then for you to remember some things, not all at once though I am going to have fun with you first.'

'Do what you want, I really don't care anymore.'

'Ah you are being deliberately obtuse now, to try and get me off track ... not going to work Samuel, I know everything

about you and everything about what makes you ... you!'

'Well if you know everything, then get the fuck out of my head coz there's nothing more for you to learn!'

Sam gasped for breath and moaned trying to claw his way back from the black depths of a drugged sleep. He could hear

his heart racing, thudding against his chest; his pulse throbbed feeding the speed of his heart even more. He was going to

explode soon; the pressure was too much for him to bear.

The convulsions came without warning, his pitifully thin frame gave little resistance as they assaulted him, his back arched

and his body twisted painfully as each spasm intensified in strength and frequency.

'Sammy?' Dean cried out when he saw his brother fitting, specks of foam and blood covered Sam's mouth and his eyes

now open, unseeing rolled backwards showing only the whites. Panic surged through Dean as he reached his brother,

grabbing the bedding and pillows he threw them off the bed and onto the floor, leaving only Sam and the under-sheet

twisted up beneath him. As carefully as he could he gripped Sam's shoulder and rolled his brother on to his side, took a

position next to him and waited for the fits to subside.

'Dean?' Sam whispered hoarsely reaching for Dean's hand as he closed his eyes exhaustion claiming him.

'I am so sorry Sammy,' Dean whispered as he gathered the pillows from the floor and used them to prop Sam up on his

side, packing them against his back as tightly as he could, then he took the top sheet and draped it over Sam, not wanting

to overheat him any further.

Wearily Dean sat on the edge of the bed and held his head in his hands, hunching his shoulders. He felt so helpless and

that alone devastated him, he had never felt like this before. How can he protect Sam from nightmares? And from his own

thoughts in that freaky mind of his?

'Dean?' Sam whispered his voice barely audible, 'Dean you there?'

'Yeah I'm here Dude you're not getting rid of me that easily.' Dean tried to sound cheerful but even to his own ears he

sounded anything but.

'So tired Dean, and so cold.' Sam whispered clutching the sheet in his fingers he turned his face to look at Dean clearly.

Dean pulled a blanket over Sam and moved a little closer so his brother didn't have to strain anymore. 'What happened Sam?'

'I ah, there was a big ... man Dean he was a fugly dude, huge with red skin and black eyes he looked like he just stepped

out of a Grimm's fairy tale or something. Totally gruesome. He claimed to be the one who made me who I am ... he was the

one who took me and took my memories.'

'Do you ... umm do you remember anything else? Where were you talking to him?'

'It was dark but it looked like umm like an old theatre, you know the really old ones with the ornate stages and old red velvet curtains.'

Dean nodded and thought for a moment, 'yeah there's one here in town, the Riverleigh I think it's called, been closed for years, I'll have to look it up but I'm sure that.'

'It's downtown on High street,' Missouri finished for Dean as she walked into the room carrying a cup of thick chicken soup

for Sam, 'beautiful old theatre but people say that it's haunted.'

'Thanks Missouri.' Sam said ignoring the soup she placed on the bedside table.

'What happened in here? Did you two get into it again? I swear Dean your brother is not well enough or strong enough for stuff like that.'

'Relax Missouri, I – I had another fit.' Sam explained leaning back against the headboard, an overwhelming need to sleep

filled him, his head ached, come to think about it, his entire body ached down to his little toe.

A small ghost of a smile played on his lips as he drifted off listening to Missouri and Dean talk about the theatre, the need

for sleep over-rode everything else, he knew that once he fell asleep that the demon would return but he couldn't stop it. He

just wanted to fall asleep and not wake up again.

'That can be arranged Samuel.'

'What?'

'For you to sleep and never wake up again.'

'Get out of my thoughts.'

'Did you enjoy the little sample of what I can do to you?'

'Get the fuck out of my head!'

'Now, now Samuel that's not nice!'

'I don't feel like being nice.'

'Now you're being petulant, really this behaviour does not become you.'

'Well if you don't like it then leave, I'm not going to keep you hanging around if you don't want.'

'Fighter till the end aren't you Samuel and some said that you were too weak, that it is Dean who would be the better

convert.'

'Leave my brother out of this.'

'What's wrong Samuel did I hit a nerve?'

'Nope just stating a fact, now get this thing off my arm.'

'I am sorry Samuel but while you bear my mark you are mine and no one else will touch you.'

'Who else?'

'Nothing for you to worry your pretty head about.'

'I want my memories back.'

'My, my where did that come from?'

'I need to know who I am and where I come from, you want me to be yours but how can I be if I don't know who I am.'

'Interesting point Samuel I will take it under consideration.'

'Yeah right, why lie it takes so little to tell the truth.'

'And you are so good at that.'

'At what?'

'Telling the truth.'

'I wouldn't know about that coz I can't remember.'

'Hmm bit of a quandary isn't it.'

'Yuck it up coz until I get my memory we're gonna have a stalemate.'

'Ah chess, quite a game can you play.'

'Yeah, I can hold my own.'

'Care to wager on it?'

'On what?'

'If you win I will give you back your memory and will leave you alone, however, if I win then I get you lock, stock and barrel. No

more arguments, no more stalling, I get you, your mind, and your memory and ... I get your soul'

'Cocky aren't you.'

'I don't need to be cocky I know how good I am at chess.'

'Yeah right, you do know that chess is more of the mind not the brawn?'

'So Samuel are you game? Do you want to gamble with everything at stake.'

'One other condition.'

'Which is?'

'If I agree to this, and when I win then you cannot come after my family and friends, Dean and Missouri especially.'

TBC