Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

CHAPTER 6

Dean sat back and stared at his brother, unsure of what to say or how to say it, Missouri slipped out of the room allowing the boys some privacy, the doctors wanted Sam to remember on his own but she was sure that it was time for Dean to fill in the missing pieces.

The demon destroyed any chance same had of recovering his memory naturally, Dean looked down at his hands, and then back up at Sam heaving a big sigh he started talking, watching Sam continuously to gauge his reactions.

'Okay we were born in Lawrence Kansas, Dad's name was John and Mary was our mother, when I was about four and half and you were exactly six months old, there was a fire in your nursery. Dad found mum pinned to the ceiling, she had a large cut across her stomach, and she was bleeding on you. Then a fire filled the room and Dad grabbed you and pushed you into my arms ordering me to get you out, he tried to reach mum but it was too late.' Dean paused and watched Sam's face, but his younger brother sat there with a sad look that broke his older brother's heart. 'After that, well Dad did his best to look after us and taught himself to hunt supernatural nasties while searching for the demon that killed mum. When we were old enough he trained us to be hunters too, you didn't really take to the lifestyle that much.'

'I wanted a normal life?' Sam whispered hoarsely he lifted his gaze to meet Dean's tears shining unshed, 'Dad was disappointed with me wasn't he.'

'No Sam he didn't, sometimes I think you intimidated him, you are so smart and a straight A student at school, but you were such a serious kid Sammy. You thought about everything and everyone before you did a thing. And yeah you were a moody and stubborn little bitch but that is what made you, Dad always said that you were more like mum, sensitive and caring; he couldn't do that caring sharing stuff. But he did go ballistic when you told him that you had applied to college and got into Stanford. Fuck Sammy you got accepted into Stanford but you couldn't even tell him you had applied.'

'Then we had a huge argument and he told me if I walked out the door that I was never to come back.' Sam finished for Dean, 'I can see him Dean, I can remember how angry he was, I thought that he was going to kill me, but you were there between us, you were always there for me weren't you Dean?'

'Ah yeah, but that's my job, I'm the big brother and it's my job to look after you.'

'Did you...did you and Dad come and visit me at college?'

'No dude, you stayed silent, I mean Dad and I often dropped passed the place and checked up on you but he wouldn't go in and wouldn't let me.'

'Did you meet Jess?'

'Yeah but not until I came to get you when Dad disappeared.'

'Do you know much about her?' Sam asked earnestly.

'No dude, I ah only met her for a few minutes but Sam she was gorgeous and obviously loved you, just had to see the way she looked at ya.'

'And I ...'

'Apparently you were shopping for a ring.'

'So what happened Dean? I left with you? Left Jess alone?'

'We went to search for Dad and ended up on a hunt, the woman in white.'

'And?'

'When we finished I took you back to school coz you had a big interview for law school.'

'I wanted to go to law school?'

'Yep, dunno what made you decide on that but anyway when we got back that's when...'

'A fire again.'

'Yeah dude Jess died the same way mum did I came back to talk to the two of you again and found you...I just got you out in time.'

'But Jess died?'

'Yep and we've been together ever since doing hunts and looking for Dad.'

'We did catch up with him didn't we? I mean I can remember the cabin, you getting ripped up and the demon possessing Dad. I couldn't shoot Dad and he got so mad about it.'

'You remember that?'

'Yeah, and the accident and Dad dying.' Sam finished softly, he played with the sleeve of his shirt plucking at a stray thread, 'just then I dunno how or why but I could see the demon, I was talking to him and then he forced all of the bad memories back. He said that he took my memory and he could give it back to me in pieces. I thought that he was bluffing.'

'No dude, it's all true.' Dean said not wanting to elaborate on any of their more gruesome and or dangerous hunts just yet. 'Look Sam you're exhausted and I'm parched how about we finish this tomorrow.'

'Sure Dean, just one thing...'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'What about you? I mean did you meet anyone? Girlfriend did you have a girlfriend? Hell are you married? Kids?'

'Nope, no, Sammy come on you're talking to the king of the ladies, I did see one girl for a while but that was over before it really began.'

'Cassie?' Sam asked looking up at Dean.

'Yeah, typical you remember her name and you don't remember your own.' Dean gave a slight chuckle and held his hand out to Sam, 'come on dude let's get you cleaned up and fed. Dunno about you but bringing memories up always makes me hungry.'

'Anything makes you hungry Dean!' Sam quipped surprising himself just as much as he surprised Dean.

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'So Sam and Dean are putting the pieces of his memory back together.' A sibilant hiss came from the demon as he watched and listened to the brother's conversation, 'interesting and ever so disturbing.'

'Master you summoned me?' the dream sprite cowered in front of the Master Demon.

'I am willing to give you a second chance.'

'Master?'

'I want you to visit Dean's dreams this time, not Sam's. Sam will be fine for now, I want Dean to be inundated with doubts about Sam, about his abilities and focus. Make him doubt his brother now that Sam has amnesia, to second guess the real reasons why he is looking after him.'

'Ooohhh that sounds like fun Master,' the demon clapped her hands together, 'can I inflict pain?'

'No, not to begin with I want him to doubt his brother, and to doubt himself. This happened when he promised his father to look after Sam and to protect him no matter what.'

'Yes Master, I can do that.' The demon cowered in front of the demon, 'I will not let you down this time.'

'Do and you will never know anything but pain forever.'

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Dean tossed restlessly in his sleep, his head hurt with a sudden headache after dinner, so he excused himself early and went to bed, just needing sleep.

'It's your fault Dean, I trusted you and you let me down,' John screamed at the younger man, lifting his fists threateningly at him, 'Sam is lost and it is all your fault.'

'Dad it's not...he was kidnapped I tried to find him, I searched everywhere...'

'I trained you better than that Dean, I trained you to track and to succeed no matter what. You are nothing but a disappointment to me.'

'Dad please, I'm going to help Sammy, I can help him get his memory back.'

'Your brother is lost forever Dean, it's too late you failed. You failed me and you failed your brother.'

'NO Dad please, I didn't fail you.' Dean cried out but the only answer he received was his father's fist crashing into his face. Stunned Dean fell backwards unable to break his fall, he landed on the floor and stared up at his father. 'Dad?'

'You are a failure Dean, your whole life, hell you couldn't even keep up with Sam at school.'

'I passed, Sam was special Dad, he has a gift.'

'He is a vegetable now, no good for anyone or anything; he can't remember how to hunt. He's a liability and it is all your fault.' John punctuated each word with a well aimed punch, and or kick. Dean laid there taking the punishment, he knew he deserved it, he failed to protect Sam.

The images shimmered and Dean stared down at Sam sitting in the wheelchair and staring out the window. After searching for months he finally finds Sam but now he is just a shell of his former self, no longer able to remember his life, family and job. Nothing now he was dependent on everyone around him to help him. Dependent on Dean.

'What are you doing to me Sam? I can't move from you now, just in case you get hurt again. You always get hurt Sam why? Why do you have to attract trouble wherever you go?'

'I'm sorry Dean.' Sam mumbled looking up at his brother with those puppy dog expressive eyes. 'I didn't mean it.'

'You never mean it Sam that's the problem you never mean anything you do. You're a deadweight Sam what am I going to do with you now? I can't hunt and save your sorry skinny ass all of the time too.'

'I promise I'll try to do better Dean.'

'No, it's too late Sam, you are a liability I would have been better off dumping you in an institute and forgetting you.' Dean snarled attacking Sam in a frenzy of punches, sending him sprawling on the floor from his wheelchair Dean replaced the punches with kicks.

'Dean, Dean wake up dude.' Sam cried out again trying to grip Dean's flailing hands as he tried to wake his brother, 'wake up Dean, you're having a nightmare.'

Dean hissed and drew his hand back, 'nothing but a liability Sam.' He screamed as he landed a punch to the side of Sam's head sending him falling backwards to land on the floor between the two beds.

'Dean?' Sam whispered holding his stinging cheek, his eyes wide with shock and fear.

Dean growled and moved to drop on top of Sam, continuing to rain blows down on his younger brother.

'Dean?' Sam whispered again as he tried to fend his brother's attack off.

'Sammy?' Dean whispered as he slumped forward just as sudden as his attack on Sam was his collapse.

'Dean? Dude come on you're scaring me.' Sam cried out, 'wake up please.'

Dean lifted his head and blinked furiously trying to clear his blurred vision, finally he managed to focus, a look of horror formed on his face as he stared down at Sam's bloodied and bruised face and then at his own split knuckles, 'Sam?'

'What the fuck happened Dean?' Sam huffed pushing his brother away wincing with the shooting pain in his left wrist.

'Sam I – I don't understand.'

'What the hell is going on in here? If you two boys are fighting you can just quit it.' Missouri's high pitched southern accent broke the silence that started to descend on the room, hurrying in she skidded to a stop when she took in Sam's battered face and Dean's wide glassy eyes. 'What happened?'

'Dean had a nightmare.' Sam grunted as he managed to lift himself back on his bed.

'Dean?' Missouri turned to stare at him, he still knelt in the same position between the beds, his head hanging low. 'Dean baby are you alright?'

'I ah, don't know.' Dean mumbled he sounded like he had a bad head cold, looking up he avoided Sam's face and glanced up at Missouri, blood poured from his nose unheeded. 'What's wrong with me Missouri? What did I just do?'

'Dean?' Sam tried to reach out to his brother, but Dean jerked away violently a shroud of guilt and confusion covered Dean, shaking he lifted a finger to his bleeding nose and then everything blurred together and he slumped forward unconscious.

'Missouri what just happened?' Sam asked looking up at the woman, 'what just happened?'

TBC