Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

Author's note: Hi all, hope you enjoy this chapter, I am going on holidays from Boxing Day, (26th Dec) to Jan 18th so I am not sure how many updates I will be able to do while I am away. I will have access to a computer but not a lot, I will try to do as many as I can.

So please have a safe and happy Christmas and New Year and thank you so much for all of your support and reviews this year and will cya all in the new year.

((((((((((((((((group hugs)))))))))))))))))))

CHAPTER 7

Dean woke but kept his eyes closed, everything hurt in his head, and it even hurt to try to think. He could hear muffled voices on the edge of his awareness. Sam and Missouri are there with him.

He tried to lie as still as possible but it was too much and he groaned, everything ached, he had never felt so achy, sore, and so old before.

'Dean?' Sam's voice tried to penetrate through the fog but something pushed it back out of Dean's perception, Dean groaned again and tried to lift his hand, he had to push the smothering blanket away.

'Dean? Come on dude look at me...open your eyes and look at me.' Sam's voice held a hint of fear and desperation in it. 'What's wrong Missouri why isn't he waking up?'

'Good question Sweety, something feels so wrong in this room,' Missouri mused standing up suddenly she hurried out of the room; 'I'll be right back Sam ya'll keep an eye on your brother.'

'Not going anywhere Missouri.' Sam whispered, turning his attention back to his brother's face, 'I may not remember everything but I know we need each other.'

'Ya don't know the half of it Sweety,' Missouri mumbled as she lumbered down the hallway to her bedroom she needed something special. The boys bedroom had been infiltrated by a sprite or spirit that preyed on those boys during their dreams.

'Ah there it is,' she sighed happily gathering her small supply up she hurried back to the other bedroom.

-------------------------

Dean watched the shadows move in the fog, they seem to be darting at him trying to attack and take pieces of him, this was not happening, not on his watch. He snarled and tried to hunt them but he was stuck in a patch of something that resembled glue, he had to stand there and take their attacks.

Then he remembered his father's voice from before, his father blamed him for Sam's amnesia and for the fact that Sam was useless as a hunter now. A liability and it was all Dean's fault. He dropped his head and stopped fighting, suddenly so tired and sore again. Let them come and feed off his corpse, he wasn't supposed to be alive anyway.

'Dean come on Dude wake up please, you're scaring me.' He heard Sam's voice again, this time it found a crack and made its way through the fog, 'I can't do this without you Dean.'

Dean frowned there was that whining again, 'I can't do it without you Dean,' 'yeah well if you didn't go and lose your memory maybe you could stand on your own two feet for a change Sammy.' But then he pushed that out of his mind, he had to get free of the fog it was literally clouding his mind. He had to think, he had to fight that was all he knew how to do. 'Yes daddy you raised a very good little soldier just a shame that you were too good with it.'

Grunting he pushed his way through the murky mire towards the sliver of light where Sam's voice broke through. His chest hurt like hell, each breath felt like it was laced with razors, and his body ached interminably, each joint screamed silently at him. He had to get to the light, the sliver of sanity in the fast disintegrating state of his mind.

'Quitter, you are always were and you always will be!' his father's voice made him stumble.

'I'm not listening to you Dad, you're not real.' Dean yelled back as he picked himself up and kept moving slowly but surely towards that crack, it was still there but he couldn't hear Sam anymore. His heart clenched and tightened his chest, tears prickled his eyes as he forced himself to continue but his strength waned, all he wanted to do was sleep.

'Get up soldier, you are not going to slacken off now, get up and fight or are you the coward I had you pegged as. Both my sons are one big disappointment, sensitive Sam always ready with an argument but not willing to learn to stand up and fight. And you, the good little soldier, the quitter...the little quitter and coward, hiding behind Sam and his neediness.'

'Fuck off old man, I don't need you, I don't want you, and I certainly won't listen to you now.' Dean growled reaching out he touched the crack and felt the warmth coming from it.

'Dean, please you can't leave me like this...please I need ... no I want you to come back.' Sam's voice broke through his frantic thoughts, instantly calming him.

'Dean boy ya hear me ... we're getting ya back,' a strange voice made him stop and listen intently, who the? Then he realised who it was, Sam and Missouri are working together, they want him back.

He put his hand into the crack and felt two hands grab him and pull him free ... Panting heavily Dean's body started to convulse, his fingers clutching spasmodically in the air and he gasped chokingly for each hurtful breath. Forcing into his fast paralysing lungs.

'Sam!' he roared his back arched and his eyes snapped open simultaneously as the convulsion came to a violent end. He lay quietly with his eyes open but unfocused and glazed over, tiny shivers washed through him causing his limbs to tremble uncontrollably.

Missouri grabbed two thick woollen blankets and tucked them around Dean warming him 'Sam honey, rub his arms we have to get him warm before he goes into shock,' she said gently touching Sam's arm.

Dean watched them silently, the blurriness eased enough for him to make out their faces, and he felt safe again, although all he could hear in his mind is his father's cruel laughter and constant barbs, the self-doubting and mistrust of Sam's abilities well and truly fixed in his mind.

'Th-th-thanks,' Dean shivered his voice almost non-existent.

'Dean you okay man?' Sam asked his brow scrunched up with worry for his older brother.

'Yeah Sammy I'm fine,' Dean whispered, 'throat feels like ... been cut ... razors.'

'Just rest Dean you were attacked by a dream sprite.' Missouri said as she poured a thick tincture into a glass and held it to his lips, 'here drink this, and don't ya go and spit it back out boy.'

Dean glared up at the woman as he reluctantly drank the foul tasting liquid, gagging slightly on the last mouthful. 'What the hell was that?'

'Don't you go cussing at me boy, you just rest that's something that will kick that little sprite from here to kingdom come and back again,' Missouri announced sitting back she stared down at Dean with a look of satisfaction on her face.

'Why didn't you poison Sammy with that as well?' Dean asked petulantly.

'Coz we don't want to go and ruin all the good work you did helping him remember everything do we.' Missouri said mysteriously as she left the two boys alone, 'these boys are gonna be the death o' me I knows it.' They could hear her mumbling all the way downstairs.

'You sure that you're okay Dean?' Sam asked still watching Dean intently.

'Sammy stop frowning, if the wind changes your face will stay like that,' Dean said his voice still hoarse.

'What happened Dean?'

'Nightmare I couldn't get out of,' Dean yawned and snuggled further down into the blankets, 'what the fuck did that witch give me?'

'I heard that Dean Winchester!' Missouri's voice came from nowhere, 'ya'll cuss once more, and I am warning ya.'

Dean grinned sheepishly as he started to drift off again he snapped his eyes open a frantic look on his face, 'don't let me go back to sleep Sam, please don't let me,' he cringed visibly when he heard the neediness in his own voice. Dad's voice was right, he was needy and a coward, hiding behind his brother and Missouri.

'I'm not going anywhere Dean,' Sam frowned as he watched the way Dean's eyes darted around staring at non-existent shadows, 'I wish I could remember everything Dean.'

'And what good would you be?' A deep gruff voice came out of Dean's mouth, 'you were always a disappointment as a child and you are an even bigger one now, no son of mine is as weak as you.'

'Dean what's going on?' Sam asked backing away slightly from his brother he didn't know the voice but felt the familiarity of it.

'Dean is here cowering like the quitter he is,' the voice kept going, 'pathetic little soldier who can't function without me to give him orders. And you, you pathetic excuse for a Winchester, you can't even stop them from taking your memory, useless, pathetic little whiner.'

'Who are you?' Sam cried out, 'Dean, Dean please wake up.'

'Told you that Deanie boy has given up, surrendered to me once again, he can only function when I give him orders, and he does as he's told. Not like you ... you're nothing but a selfish little shit who pulls your brother back from his full potential as a hunter.'

'Missouri!' Sam cried out pushing himself away from his brother, 'Missouri we need you.'

'That's it Sam call for help, you really are a wimp aren't you, fight for yourself boy, stand up and get some backbone.'

'Sam? What is it?' Missouri called on her way up, 'oh my Sam hang on chil' I'm coming,' she finished when the realisation hit her.

The door slammed shut in front of her locking her out of the bedroom; she could hear the voice taunting Sam, using the one voice that could completely break the boy. And using his beloved brother to do it, 'hang on Sam I'm gonna find a way in, ya'll just hang on in there.'

'Missouri!' came Sam's pain-filled voice from the other side of the door, 'No!'

TBC