Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

CHAPTER 9

Sam opened his eyes and stared at Dean with a confused look, and then he turned his head just enough to stare at Missouri, 'where am I?'

'Hey welcome back dude, we're in Missouri's living room, you … Sam you okay?'

'Who are you?' Sam asked staring up at Dean his eyes wide with fear and confusion, 'who am I?'

'Ah fuck not again,' Dean muttered, 'okay Sammy can you tell me what the last thing you remember is?'

'Ah hot, so hot I felt like I was burning … inside … Dean?' Sam blinked a few times and then stared owlishly at his brother, 'what happened Dude?'

'Damn you gave us a fright there Sammy, glad to see you back.'

'Back from where … why am I covered in thawed food and water?' Sam pulled himself up a fraction and winced when he moved his very swollen knee, 'okay which episode of the Twilight Zone did I wake up in?'

'The demon struck again,' Dean spat out bitterly, 'he got into your mind and tried … he used your ah dislike of fire and tried to burn you from the inside out.'

'How, how did you stop it?'

'Missouri, she connected with you somehow and got you to cool down,' Dean said trying to keep his hidden resentment from sounding in his voice.

'I ah I'm going to give you boys some time to yourselves, I have a few things to get organised for supper,' Missouri said scurrying out of the room without waiting for either one to respond to her.

'Strange woman,' Dean muttered.

'I heard that!' Missouri's voice floated out from the kitchen.

'Dean … I still … I can feel him still inside of me,' Sam whispered clutching Dean's arm as though he wanted to use him as an anchor, keeping him attached and secure to real time. 'He, he keeps talking … questioning me, why won't he stop?'

'Sammy, Sam I need you to calm down if you keep this up you'll have another fit,' Dean said wincing as Sam's fingers dug into his skin drawing blood. 'The more panicked you get the more he thinks he's won.'

'What doesn't he want me to remember Dean?' Sam asked suddenly, 'there's something he's trying to prevent me from remembering…' Sam's words trailed off as his eyes went blank; lifeless his jaw slackened enough for his mouth to drop open slightly.

'Sam? Oh dude this is so not the time to wink out on me.' Dean said shifting his position slightly he cupped Sam's face in both hands and forced his brother to look at him, 'I need you to concentrate on my voice Sam, just listen to me and no one else.'

'D-Dean,' Sam whispered his brows dipping into a deep frown, and a sheen of sweat from the concentration glistened on his already pale face.

'That's it Sammy, listen to my voice and mine only. Just follow my voice back to me, you can do this Sammy.'

'It's Sam,' Sam muttered blinking furiously, 'thanks.'

'Now that was just downright creepy and painful!' Dean quipped rubbing the spot on his arm where Sam's fingernails had left crescent shaped bleeding indents. 'Dude you drew blood.'

'Dean … I have to leave … if he's in me and, and I can't remember I could get you or Missouri killed.'

'Not an option Sammy, not on my watch.' Dean declared sitting back slightly he regarded Sam's pale countenance carefully, 'this shit is really taking it out of the kid'

'Sammy do you hear him now?'

'Yeah but it's turned more into a buzzing sound in my head,' Sam looked at Dean before stifling a yawn, 'why?'

'Do you remember any of the meditations we learnt off that yoga chick, to calm our chakras or some shit like that?'

'I remember … I remember,' Sam's frown deepened as he tried to recall it from the burnt remains of his memory, 'I – I meditated – you, you scored?' Sam asked focusing on Dean's face.

'Yeah well, I'll fill in the blanks when we have time, but for now do you think you can remember enough to meditate now?'

'Not sure … why?'

'Coz dude, if you keep your thoughts busy with thinking of nothing then the demon can't get to you, if he can't get to you he might leave you alone.'

Sam opened his mouth to ask another question but then he reconsidered and sat in thoughtful silence for a few minutes. 'Okay,' he finally spoke, 'what do I do?'

'Try to relax your body, clear your mind of everything and just chant your mantra…'

'Which is?'

'Which is oh I dunno … what do they usually say in meditations, Ohm, ohm, ohm, something like that.'

'And if I fall asleep?'

'Even better then you should be relaxed enough to annoy the shit out of him, he thrives on chaos and confusion. The more stressed and upset you are the easier it is for him to get into you head.'

'Wow Dean I'm impressed,' Sam gave him a warm smile complete with dimples, it took his breath away as he saw a glimmer of his old Sammy sitting there.

'So we ready or what?'

'Ready,' Sam grinned as he sat back and started to relax himself enough to slip into a meditation, 'hey Dean.'

'Yeah Dude?'

'You're going to be here when I wake up aren't you?'

'Not moving Sam until you do.' Dean promised, 'now please relax yourself,' Dean sat watching Sam as he slipped into his self-induced trance, all lines of fear, pain and confusion left his face and he looked like a small boy once again, with hair in his eyes and a ghost of a smile on his lips. Tenderly Dean ran his hand over Sam's cheek, letting it linger there for a second before he pulled his hand away, a look of infinite sadness on his handsome face.

Missouri turned and left the room silently, not wanting him to see her own tears, 'those boys have been through so much and yet they will never give up, not even when they have lost.' Shaking her head she made that thought flee her mind, she didn't need to entertain any negativity especially now.

She busied herself making another special tea for the boys to drink, at least she can protect them from the dream sprites while they slept, and with a small chuckle to herself, she poured the tincture into the large pot of soup simmering away on the stove top. What they don't know …

'Do you really think that you can defeat me with potions and spells?' a gruff voice came at her, startled, Missouri span around and stared. A stranger stood in her kitchen wearing a police uniform and with flashing yellow eyes.

'What are you doing here? Get out and leave my boys alone,' Missouri hissed backing away from the possessed man.

'Seems that your neighbours complained about the screaming and crashing coming from in here and rang the police … and seeing that Sammy boy isn't playing nice at the moment I thought that I would reacquaint myself with the local police.'

'Let that poor man go, why are you doing this,' Missouri cried out moving away from the living room doorway, 'why can't you go and find some other poor sap to torment.'

'Now where would the fun be in that?'

'Never stopped you before.'

'Ah but you see I have a reason this time,' the possessed police officer stepped closer to Missouri with jerking half-steps, 'ah good bodies you just can't get willing ones anymore.'

'Shame huh?' Missouri quipped, 'so what do you want anyway? I can make you some nice herbal tea.'

'Somehow I don't think that your herbal tea is all that herbal,' the demon laughed, 'all I want is your witty conversation and company for a while until Sam in there gets a wee bit on the exhausted side so I can slide right back in.'

'Won't happen, he's too stubborn,' Missouri retorted.

'Ha, ha that is true, an amazing trait is it not, when you think about it, all three of the Winchester men are stubborn, stubborn right down to their last breathes, however, it seems that poor pathetic little Sammy doesn't remember that particular family quirk. I got in so easily last time, I know I can get in anytime.'

'Give him back his memory, how can this work out if you fill him with false memories.'

'Ah so you are smarter than you act, and very perceptive as well Psychic.'

'Yeah well I try, so nice talking to you – not – I think that it's time for you to pop back into your own realm and leave that poor unfortunate boy's body.'

'Missouri – you alright in there,' Dean called out as he limped slowly into the kitchen in search of some mild pain killers. Sam finally drifted off after calming himself down using mediation but Dean was still running on adrenaline, 'I need something for a killer … everything alright?'

'Dean dear boy, this officer is just responding to some calls from the neighbours seems like Sam's nightmare got a little loud.'

'Oh, oh okay well I just need a couple of Tylenol for a killer headache.' Dean grimaced keeping a close eye on the new arrival, and then I'll leave you alone.'

'Oh we're fine aren't we officer?'

'Yes, yes fine just go about your normal activity I won't be taking up much more of Miss Mosely's time.'

'Cool, don't worry bout me I'll just get some water,' Dean accepted the two tablets from Missouri gave her a quick wink and then backed out of the kitchen, lurking in the shadows he watched the possessed man carefully.

'Dean?' Sam's raspy voice filled the silence starting to descend covering all of them in a chilled and uncomfortable veil, 'Dean where?'

Cursing under his breath Dean rushed back to his brother's side, 'hey Sammy it's okay I'm right here,' Dean greeted his little brother the same way he used to do when they were children and Sam had nightmares.

'Just feel a little freaked,' Sam said with a tremulous smile.

'Hey well you are one freaky kinda geek.' Dean grinned back patting Sam's good leg, 'do you need anything?'

'Nope, just…'

'Just what dude?'

'Can you talk to me about when we were kids, tell me more of what our lives were like, not the fluffy stuff but the … other stuff.'

'Oh 'kay I ah,' Dean ran his hands through his hair and stared into his brother's earnest looking eyes, 'when you were six months old, Mum died in a fire in your nursery, dad got you out and gave you to me, I ran out carrying you and dad came not long after. First off we stayed with various friends and relatives until dad decided until to permanently hunt, then we hit the road.' Dean took a deep breath and chuckled softly, 'we grew up in dungy motels and even worse flea-bitten apartments. I remember one place where we used to have cockroach races, most of the time it was just us.' Dean glanced up at Sam's tear-filled eyes and stopped speaking, 'hey Sammy it's okay.'

'How can it be Dean? All I want to do is to remember our childhood and I can't, it's like it's there just out of focus, I try to tune it in properly and it's gone and not coming back.'

'It will Sam you just have to give it time,' Dean said biting back his anger for the sake of his brother.

'What if it doesn't Dean? I mean what if I never remember and I stuff up on a hunt coz I don't know what I am doing?'

'Sam that is not going to happen,' Dean said a little sharper than he intended.

'How? How do you know Dean, coz I sure enough don't.'

'Coz I won't let it happen, I have looked after you, your entire life Sam and I am not going to stop now, you have a few empty holes in a sometimes crapped out past.'

'Dean please listen …'

'No Sam, listen to me for a moment, I am not even going to let you go there, nothing is going to separate us again, those months when you disappeared and I thought, I ah thought that I was going lose you forever. No dammit we stay together Sam and even if we have to put a stop on the hunts for a while that's fine too but we are not going to separate.' Dean finished his tirade and stared at Sam who chuckled softly and grinned at his brother.

'Okay Dean, I promise … so no more chick flick moments.'

'Dude you are so dead!' Dean growled tossing a cushion at Sam's head.

'Children, children you shouldn't really throw things in the living room,' the demon said pulling a blank faced Missouri behind him. 'Now if you don't play nice with me I might have to punish your friend here.'

'What the fuck? What did you do to her?'

'Nothing that can't be fixed; now the two of you behave or I will make sure that she will remain broken, and it will be both of your faults.'

'Leave them alone, you want me so take me,' Sam said lowering his injured leg onto the floor; he attempted to get up, 'just leave Dean and Missouri alone.'

'Oh so touching and so modestly heroic, you do play the martyr well don't you.'

'Not gonna happen Sam, coz we are sending this yellow eyed freak back to the fiery bowels of hell where he came from.'

'Now, now that is not nice Dean,' the demon chided him; with a small flick of his fingers Dean flew backwards smashing into a bookcase. Then he turned to Sam, his fingers curling slightly, a second later Sam started to choke, gasping for air. 'You see, this is what I have to put up with, wilful children who don't know when to behave and obey me.' He sighed at Missouri standing next to him with an empty face. Inside her head, she could hear her own screams but her frozen body didn't respond. Dean lay crumpled on the floor, unconscious and bleeding, Sam struggled for air as invisible fingers crushed his throat and all she could do was stand there and do nothing.

TBC