The Dueling Circus
Two men stood on a side road. One held a gun to the back of the other's head. It was the former who spoke: "When we get there, Bandit Keith, you know what you will say?"
"I'm an immense idiot with no brains who lost his trousers while fishing," the person addressed grunted.
"You forgot, 'And I don't know how to duel.'"
"I'm not saying that!"
"You've lied, cheated, and stole all your life. Surely you have enough stamina to lie once more? And remember, Kaiba may reject you if he thinks you can win."
"Oh, please. The only person Kaiba believes is a worthwhile opponent is Yugi."
"Leave my grandson out of this! If you mention his name again, I swear, I will shoot!"
Solomon was usually listless and ancient, but he was brimming with energy tonight. Something about Duel Monsters invigorated him. And there really was going to be a show tonight.
A Jeep pulled up. "Hop in, men!" said a young boy in his early twenties. His voice had a New York accent.
"Joseph Wheeler, my best pupil, and your greatest rival, if I recall correctly, Keith."
The bandit growled. If there was anyone he hated being in close proximity with than Joey, he did not know it.
Keith and Solomon got in the vehicle. "Hold on to your hats!" Joey warned, as he revved up the engine and the Jeep crept along rapidly in the darkness.
"Soon, the circus shall commence," a raspy, evil voice said.
Three soldiers in white were bowed in obeisance to the one who spoke. The one on the right lifted his shabby head. He had whiskers, and a thin beard.
"Lord Cotton, will I be able to marry your daughter, if we succeed?"
"You may marry Cacluna, if you so desire. But Dara is mine, and shall be given to no man."
"Cacluna is an ugly, ill-spirited bitch," the man complained.
At that instant, his bowels felt like they were in the frying pan at 500 degrees Fahrenheit. He screamed in agony. This lasted for several minutes.
"Let that be a lesson to you," the leader said, nonchalantly. "Ridicule any of my daughters, and you'll soon find boils on your flesh."
"I'm in love with Dara."
This infuriated the leader so much that he rose, and kicked the other two men, who were still in votive positions. "Because of that comment, your fellow Clownfish will be punished severly."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" the two desperate men shouted. We have been good! We don't deserved to be treated with this ill-respect!"
"Gartran claims that he loves Dara," the leader said, turning to the man named. "Do you recant?"
"No," Gartran said, obstinately.
"Then to the torture chambers the other Clownfish go."
They went through a door on the left, then down a torturous passageway, then up a flight of stairs, and finally, out onto a balcony.
"Jules. You will receive the first punishment, brought to you by your inconsiderate brother. You punisher will be here presently."
The sun was setting, and the leader turned his eyes skyward. So did the three Clownfish. A few minutes passed, before they heard a dulcet female voice behind them.
"Daddy, is someone being punished?"
"Dara!" Gartran shouted in delight, darting forward. The leader held him back by his collar.
"Yes, my dear. Jules is your quarry. The first part of his punishment is to kiss you, on the lips."
Jules hung his head, as if he were upset with his chore. "Do I have to?"
"Yes, you must. But first: Hemlich, do you have any tape?" the leader asked the other Clownfish.
"All I have is duct tape, sir."
"That will do. Now, get some and tape Gartran's eyes up, so that he can't blink while Jules kisses Dara."
Hemlich did so.
"Now, Jules, kiss her as passionately as possible."
The Clownfish was happy to comply, wrapping his arms around Dara's torso, and putting his lips to hers. They stood like that for a minute and a half.
"Dara, you and Jules must spend the night together, doing whatever you please, and all day tomorrow. Now, get out of my sight!"
They ran, and neither one looked back.
"So, Gartran, how did you like the performance? Oh, tears," the leader said, disgustedly noting that his Clownfish had cried. "Well, it's your own darn fault."
A light footstep was heard on the stairs, and a chubby woman with long, jet-black hair appeared on the balcony. Her face was lovingly plump, but she had none of her sister's charm. People had nicknamed her "Radish," because her arms resembled the leaves and her hands the fruit of that delicious plant.
"Cacluna! Good. You're just in time to punish Hemlich."
"Oh, don't tell me I'll have to do anything voluptuous, like Dara."
"No, no Rad. You're going to do a flogging."
"Great! I'll go get me whip!" And she darted off.
The leader and his Clownfish were silent while Radish was gone. When she returned, she was exuberant, and had he strong whip in hand.
"Hemlich, step forward!" Cacluna demanded.
The Clownfish whimpered, but he knew there was no contradicting his master's will. He advanced.
"Remove your shirt!"
No verbal objection; just a sad countenance.
"About face." When Hemlich had completed all the orders, Radish raised her whip, and brought it down cataclysmically on his back. He felt a stripe of his flesh being ripped from his body.
She raised it again; a second time skin fell apart.
Seventeen times did Radish flog the poor, helpless Clownfish. Each time, Hemlich kept thinking how he would make Gartran pay for this injustice.
"That's enough punishment, Rad," the leader said.
"Awww, Father, do I have to quit? I was just getting the hang of it."
"I promise, there will be plenty of times to punish Hemlich in the future. For now, just go to bed."
Cacluna went away.
"Well, Jules' punishment is going to last quite a while, but me and you two need to go to circus, right away."
"How can I do anything when Jules is sleeping with my girl?" Gartran asked.
"Do not mention Dara in that profane way again, Gartran, or you will suffer a severer punishment than any Clownfish has ever known."
"So, Tea, are you going to the circus with anyone?" Yugi asked her.
"No, I'm going alone."
"Would—I mean, would you go with me?" he inquired, tentatively.
"Oh, Yugi, I don't want to heart your feelings, but I'm in love with Atem. Going with you would seem so weird. Besides, you're not much of a dancer."
"I know. Well, I'll see you there?"
"Yes. With Duke Devlin," Tea blurted out, the covered her mouth.
"Duke Devlin! You won't go with me, but you have no qualms about going with a man whose every thought is filled with dice?"
"I don't want to discuss this."
"Sorry, Tea, but I'd think you'd have a little more respect about my feelings."
"Go on, say it. You think I'm a slut."
"Tea, I didn't mean—" But before Yugi could finish, Tea had darted away.
When he arrived at the circus grounds two hours later, he noticed that it was packed with duelists of his past. Here was Maako Tsunami, and there was Espa Roba. Mai Valentine was chatting with some Hollywood macho, and Weevil Underwood was on the ground, lashing ants with his tongue.
"Weevil, I didn't know you were myrmecophagus," Rebecca Hawkins said to the boy.
"What does that mean, pipsqueak?"
"It means you eat ants."
"Go away!"
"Yugi! Yoo hoo!" Rebecca called, just catching sight of him. "Having a nice time?"
"Tea's dating Duke Devlin."
"Forget about her. You're with me!"
And Rebecca dragged him off, to help him obliterate Tea from his mind.