A/N: Love me, love my doctor! laughs
Chapter Four: Suicide in the Psych Ward
"Interesting. I can tell you what it is," House said after glancing at the complainer in Cuddy's office.
"What is it, then?" demanded Cuddy, slightly worried because if it were smallpox, then she would have to get a shot.
"Schizophrenia, for one."
"But he seemed perfectly sensible to me", replied Cuddy.
"Have you ever held a conversation with your wastebasket?" House inquired.
Cuddy looked in her office. House was right. The man was having an argument with her wastebasket...over whether Cuddy was single.
"And the rash?" Cuddy asked once she had recovered her voice.
"Poison ivy," replied House, as cool as a cucumber.
"But the scabs?"
"He must have scratched the affected areas until they bled", House mused.
The head of the psych ward, Doctor Amy Doyle, ran up to Cuddy.
"A patient escaped from the psych ward," she said once she had regained her breath.
"Is that him?" House asked, pointing into Cuddy's office. Doyle nodded.
"And the rash?" Cuddy asked.
"Poison ivy," replied the psychologist.
"Do you want to get him or should I?" asked Cuddy.
"I'll do it", replied Doyle, holding up a syringe so that Cuddy and House could see that it was two cc's of Hadirol.
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"Do the biopsy," Kyla said.
"But we need Wilson's consent," Chase pointed out.
"Don't worry about it, he's already signed the consent form for the biopsy," Kyla informed the ducklings.
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"Count backwards from ten," directed Chase.
"Ten, nine, eight..." said Wilson as the anthesia slowly took effect.
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"Doctor Cuddy?" called the hospital's general counsel, Kelly Belski, as she opened the door.
"What is it, Kelly?" Cuddy asked.
"There's a problem," replied Kelly.
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"Why did you stop the biopsy!?!" yelled House.
"You didn't get a consent form signed," replied Cuddy.
"Wilson could die if that thing in his breast is cancerous!" House continued to yell.
"Then why didn't he sign a consent form?" demanded Cuddy.
"He signed it! It's not my fault if your idiotic lawyer lost it!" House answered, still yelling at the top of his lungs.
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House was yelling so loudly that everyone in the lobby could easily hear him.
"What happened?" Nurse trainee Hawkeye asked Nurse Brenda.
"Doctor Cuddy stopped a biopsy Doctor House had ordered for a patient," Brenda replied.
"Why would she do that?" asked another nurse trainee, whose name was "Rover". Seriously, it was.
"The patient didn't sign a consent form," Nurse Brenda explained.
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"Is it cancerous?" Wilson asked as House entered the room.
"No idea," replied House.
"But the biopsy?"
"Cuddy stopped it."
"Why?"
"Apparently you didn't sign a consent form."
"But I did."
"I know. I think Belski lost it."
"Deliberately?"
House nodded.
"Why would she do that?" Wilson asked.
House shrugged.
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A/N: Sorry it took so long. I was trying to keep myself a few chapters ahead.