Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot of this story and so on…

A/n: Hey there people! Okay, so yea, the last chapter was a bit teary and you're probably wondering what'll happen next, so here's chapter twelve! Read and review pretty please! It would be oh-so-very nice if you did!

Why Did Destiny Choose This?

Chapter 12

I shall be free from your everlasting grip,

Do you ever get that feeling in your eyes when you just cry too much? It's like your eyes are red and swollen and they hurt so badly, but you just can't find it in yourself to stop. It was as if you collected all of the tears that you let out, there would be an ocean bigger than the Pacific. The waves to the water would crash against the shore following with a loud thunderous noise that would imitate exactly how hurt, angry, and tormented you felt inside. All of that bottled up emotion would be free in a rocking mass of water that no longer be held captive. But the thing was I had too much to cry about. I would run out of tears before I finished letting everything go. Then what would be left to do?

I was standing on the sidewalk of an airport. Lily had her arm over my shoulder, and the other signaling for a cab to drive us back to Malibu. She lightly patted my back as I cried into her shoulder like a five year old cried into her mother's shoulder because she had been teased at school. There were some hiccupped sobs, and some tears that were followed with small whimpers. Once there was a car that pulled up to the curb, Lily motioned for be to get into the seat. I slid over and doubled over, holding my face in my hands. Lily placed her hand on my back, and quickly asked the driver to go to an address which I recognized as her house. The car pulled from the sidewalk, and merged into the mass of traffic. I was sitting somewhere in the middle of the backseat, so I felt the air conditioner lightly on my head, cooling me down from the heat outside, and the internal heat of emotions. Lily went into her pocket and pulled out a pack of tissues. She opened the pack with a quick zipping sound, and sat me up before she held the tissue out for me to take. I lightly shook my head causing my hair to ruffle over my shoulders.

"Lily, you s-shouldn't have to do this for me." I said while wiping under my eyes with the side of my index finger. She tilted her eyebrows inward showing concern. It was like I was crazy for talking in such a manner.

"I don't mind Miley, it's just a tissue." She said thinking that I was talking about the small white cloth that she held in her hand. I shook my head once again.

"No, I mean... You shouldn't h- have to be here, t-taking care of me like this... I'm so sorry that you have to put u-up with--" Lily cut me off with her own words.

"Miley, you know that no matter what, I'll be here for you. Don't worry about it okay? If I wasn't here with you, I'd go insane wondering if you were alright or not." She assured me. I felt guilty drilling into my skull, echoing as a reminder of how I was keeping Lily caged into my problems. I felt guilty because she always had to be there; guilty that she had to wait on me hand and foot just because of how awful I was feeling. I'm dragging her into this. I'm making her be here with me. I kept her from celebrating Oliver's wedding. I kept her from having a good day today. What kind of person am I? How could I be so self-centered? I mentally slapped myself for not seeing what I as doing to Lily all along.

"Lils, I know you'll always b-be here for me, b-but you don't have to be t-taking care of me. You shouldn't be. I'm k-keeping you from too many things." I said while shaking in sobs.

"No, I do. If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be. There is nothing that you could possibly be keeping me from. Miles, you know that I'll always be here for you no matter what. Don't think that you're keeping me from anything because you're not." Lily comforted me. She ran her hand up and down my back trying to soothe me. I nodded and slouched down into the seat leaning forward. I had Oliver rushing to me jogging in my head over and over again like a broken record that no one bothered to turn off. Why would he do something like that? Why would he come rushing after me, just to repeat what I already said to him? Most of all, why was he crying? My temples pounded in stress. I felt my heart beat wildly inside my chest. I felt my palms grow sweaty and my head grow hot from frustration. What's going on!? I suddenly felt Lily poke my shoulder as if she was trying to get my attention.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked sounding worried. I lifted my head and looked at her.

"Anything and everything." I replied. I felt my tears stop, and dry leaving tear stains down my cheeks. She tilted the corner of her mouth.

"Like what?" She asked. I sighed and sat straight up.

"Things like why did this happen or why Oliver just suddenly rushed up to me for no reason, saying exactly what I said to him yesterday. Then you saw him before, his eyes were all… Was he crying Lily?" I asked. She paused to think about the question.

"Maybe he just wanted to say goodbye, you know? Then maybe…I actually don't know. It kind of looked like he was going to, but he didn't." She answered sounding almost as confused as I was, but not nearly as frustrated. I nodded.

"Yea. I don't know what's gotten into him Lils, and it kind of makes me think that…that…" I stopped, not wanting to say the rest due to the fact that I didn't know the truth. Lily finished the sentence for me.

"Makes you think that just maybe, he felt or still even feels the same way, right?" I nodded getting slightly choked up. As much as I want for that to happen I know it can't. For so many reasons, it just can't happen. Imagine how many things would change.

"I don't mean to make things worse or anything Miles, you know that I would never make anything worse intentionally, but what if he does? I'm not saying he does, I don't know if he does, but it would make sense if he did. What do you think? Do you think he feels that same way?" She asked and waited patiently for an answer. She knew that I would need a little while to think about it. Put my head back against the chair and closed my eyes tightly letting all my questions to start again. I let all possible answers pop up, rejecting none because nothing was known for sure. It was weird, how he just suddenly held me for no reason. It was like something I would do, because I just wanted to hold him. It was weird how he was just so out there when Becca was talking and it was weird how he smiled whenever he saw me. Maybe he does feel the same way, but he would never do something like that to Becca. He would never just use her like that. Maybe he was just trying to move on. What if, he felt the same way for a while, and then Becca was to help him get on with his life. Then he ended up falling in love with her. But what would give him reason to move on? Was it the fact that e were best friends? Or was it something else? I shot open my eyes with more and more questions filling my head by the second. I lifted my head back up and looked around a bit for some sort of hint that would help me to answer my pounding thoughts. But there's nothing I can do about it anymore. He's married to a girl who's head over heels in love with him, and he's in love with her too. I can't just ask him about it. I wouldn't be able to do something like that. I couldn't. It'd be…awkward and it would just cause too many things. But if I don't find out, I'll spend the rest of my life wondering what would've happened if I asked him. Then again, there's the huge chance that he doesn't felt the same way and then I would've asked him for nothing. That this is just all in my head. I think I'm just dealing with so many things that I'm coming to conclusions just too fast. I let out an extremely frustrated sigh.

"I don't know what to think anymore Lily. Something tells me it might be true, but then again, something tells me it's not. There's a huge chance that I'm just getting in over my head that I'm just being ridiculous because of everything that's going on, and at the same time, he could feel the same way. There a signs pointing to it, but I don't know if they're real or not." How does anyone know what's real or not? How can anyone tell if feelings and emotions were real or just merely signs that you were over thinking things? I clenched my jaw and tightened my fists. Why does this have to be so confusing? There should be a hand guide to all of this; it'd be so much easier…Lily nodded.

"Imagine if he really did feel that way about you Miles, what would you do?" She asked trying not to sound like she wanted me to feel bad. I sighed. What would I do? Sure I guess I'd be happy, but at the same time I wouldn't go crazy with excitement. What about Becca? What would happen to her? I'd feel guilt for the rest of my life knowing at he chose me over her. Especially no that they were…wedded.

"I think… That I'd go insane. I'd feel like going insane. I'd be happy, happy that finally he'd know how I feel. But then guilty as ever, because he would have chosen me, over her. It's not just like the kind of guilt that goes away after awhile, but the kind that bothers you forever unless you do something about it. But what would I have to do? Say no to Oliver? Plus they're married now, which makes everything that much harder." A picture flashed in my head. It as from yesterday, here Mrs. Weller was crying. I felt a sharp pang against my chest as if I had been stabbed there with a heavily rusted butcher's knife. "So, so much harder." I whispered. Lily showed a sympathetic expression on her face as if she somewhat knew how I felt. The pain kept on hitting me continuously like it was never going to stop. It was as if some sick meat cutter was doing this for the pure enjoyment of seeing someone in this condition. This horrible, morbid state of mind that could kill if you were too weak to handle the feeling. I grew cold. It was like the heat was being drained from my body to make the icy pain feel a thousand times worse. Pang. Went the sharpness. I clenched my teeth. Pang. I dug my nails into my arms which were crossed over my chest. Pang. It was like each time the knife sung back, the force would intensify making the pain so much stronger each time. Pang. I started trembling from it all and I doubled over completely. I shut my eyes tightly trying to bear the pain. Why is this happening? Where is all of this coming from? It was weird, how something internal could cause this kind of pain. I felt Lily put her hand on my back, not knowing what she could do to make it all go away. She knew that I felt horrible for everything; she knew that I felt as though I should be executed for even thinking about making Becca upset like I was. Tears started from my eyes again. I was crying because I was just so, so confused with everything that was going on. Pang. I let out a small whimper and let the tears fall off my face to either hit my jeans, or the carpet of the taxi. The hammering subsided, but the damage to my heart was done. Even if he did feel the same way, I don't think I'd have the will power to do anything about it. I'd leave Becca feeling the same way I do now, and her family, what would I be doing to them? They'd have to see Becca like this and deal with her like Lily's dealing with me. I'd so much rather deal with this than to force this pain upon someone else.

"You going to be okay Miles?" Lily asked while rubbing my back. I sniffled and nodded never looking up. I released my grip from my arms and saw that there were dark red nail marks in my skin. The slightly stung, but the pain was nothing compared to what I felt within. I rubbed my arms slightly making the marks fade into small pink lines. I brought my right hand up to my face and wiped at the tears of pain. Truth is I think I forgot the meaning of the word 'okay.' What did it mean anyway; to be 'okay?' Does it mean that you're content? Or does it mean ho you are physically? Either way, I don't think I was ever going to be 'okay.' I stretched my arms out and looked at the nail scratches. They were slowly fading away. If only my feelings could fade like that. Wouldn't that be amazing? I let out a shaken sigh. A few more tears began to fall before I held everything back and put it into a closed in bottle.

"Why did everything have to be so…" I paused to search for the proper words. "Why did everything have to be so painful?" I whispered to Lily. My hair dropped over my face, so I couldn't see her expression. There was silence for a little bit. I sat up and tucked my tangled and mess hair behind my ears. Lily had her eyebrows furrowed. She looked puzzled.

"It's life Miley, everything either hurts, or doesn't. This just one of those situations, where it had to hurt, for everything to make sense." I nodded and wiped at my face where some dry tears had remained. I pursed my lips together. Why did it have to be that everything hurt for me? Everything no matter what always hurts. If I rejected Oliver, I'd be hurt knowing that he felt the same way I did, then not following my heart. If I was with Oliver, then the guilt of making Becca hurt this way would crush me, and kill me inside out. But if he didn't feel the same way, I would be tortured not knowing what it would be like, if I actually told him how I felt. Then if I told him how I felt, and he didn't feel the same way, I'd be both deeply hurt, and ashamed that I even asked him to begin with. See? I'd be hurt in every way. A sudden exhaustion washed over me. My eyelids felt heavy and my mind just felt like shutting off. I leaned back against the chair, and closed my eyes drifting from a hectic morning.

A/n: I hate that feeling when you're just like so tired and you're don't want to go to sleep, but if you didn't, you'd like…pass out. Haha. So back to the point. Please review, because that would be very nice. Nice people are nice. Haha.